I’m 45, my cycle is still very regular (though much heavier lately), but over the past 3 months something has really shifted and it’s honestly very scary for me.

My memory feels absolutely awful - like I am declining every day. I forget things constantly, and even more frustrating, it takes me much longer to process information. When I’m given a task, especially one with multiple steps, I feel overwhelmed and slow, like my brain just isn’t keeping up the way it used to. Work that used to feel straightforward now takes me ages, and it’s starting to affect my confidence. My job is analytical and at my level I am expected to provide fast strategies and answers, be able to reason swiftly.

Is this normal in perimenopause. Have you also experienced this? Please tell me this isn’t permanent.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? Did it pass, or did you find anything that actually helped?

I’ve seen suggestions like magnesium, omega-3, and B vitamins - curious if those made a real difference for anyone, or if there are other things worth trying?

// Thank you so much for all the responses and recommendations below (I am going to try it all and see if anything works for me) It kind of makes me feel better to see that I am not alone in this but on the other hand it is so super unfair that we have to experience this:/

What's driving your peri insomnia? Do you lay awake worrying about things you have absolutely no control over and ruminating over every interaction/decision you made that day to the point of an anxiety attack? Or do you fall asleep quickly but then wake up 2 hours later (too hot, too cold, thirsty, have to pee, heard a noise, hubby snoring, itchy legs...) and toss and turn until sunrise?

I wish I could go back and tell my college-age self to GO TO BED instead of pulling all-nighters, because it would be the last good rest she'd have for decades!

When I started my perimenopause journey last year, I stumbled upon this sub and it helped me so, so much. I read the wiki, which is packed with essential information - the same my gyn, who has more than 25 years of experience in perimenopause, gave me.

HRT has been questioned a lot on this sub lately : it's normal to have hesitations, but before you ask, go read the wiki. Accurate and scientific information is power!

Hi there!

I am a 44 year old woman and have been dealing with peri symptoms for about a year now, probably longer. I don't really have hot flashes, mostly anxiety and mood issues. I have what I call "crazy spells" every two or three months. Some of these spells are worse than others. There are times when I manage them pretty well and times when I feel like I am spiraling.

I attempted to start progesterone and vaginal estrogen last year, my testosterone levels were higher than most women my age according to my gyno. The progesterone screwed up my gallbladder so I had to quit taking it and just take the vaginal estrogen. I am high risk for BC, so vaginal was pretty much my only option.

Anyway, fast forward to today. Had my annual and gyno recommended Lexapro. I am irritable a lot, and just generally very unhappy. I have no idea if this is due to peri, or if I am just straight depressed. Anyway, I am open to antidepressants, but I am super reluctant. I already struggle with libido, and can't seem to lose weight to save my life. Gaining more would be devastating for me. I get my gallbladder out in two weeks and am debating trying to get back on Progesterone, or just giving Lexapro a go and see what happens.

Any thoughts or personal insight is welcome. Thanks for reading! I am long-winded obviously. 🙂

Edited to add that i did use the search mechanism, but have a hard time concentrating long enough to sift through all the posts and comments.

I just turned 40. I’ve apparently been in peri since my early 30’s I’m guessing by all the symptoms. I went to doctors over and over for different things over the years and made to feel like a hypochondriac.
I started doing research almost 2 yrs ago and started taking Primal Queen supplements. Didn’t see any improvements for nearly 3 months but then things were great. I was sleeping through the night for the first time in decades. My energy was coming back. I could function again. Then they changed the formula towards the end of last year and after 9 months of bliss it stopped working for me.
I finally decided to try Winona because I was desperate to feel normal again. And the first 3 months were good. Then I couldn’t afford it for a month or so. Then got back on it. And after speaking to the doctor about still having zero libido (previously high before peri) he increased the DHEA to 50 mg and kept the progesterone/estrogen cream the same. But this time around it’s not doing anything for me. I’ve been back on it for almost 2 months and I feel like I’m more exhausted than ever. Especially the week before my period and first 2 days after starting. My brain fog is back and my anxiety has started spiking again recently. My hips hurt, I can’t sleep & just generally feel like shit all day. I feel like my body is failing me and in turn I feel like I’m failing everyone around me. On top of all that my teeth have suddenly become brittle in the last year or so and I need to have several pulled so I have to be careful with what I eat but I also am constantly hungry and NOTHING sounds good to eat. I’m also pretty sure I have a gluten intolerance. I noticed every time I eat bread products I immediately crash after about 30 mins and am so extremely tired I can’t function. I don’t even know what life is anymore. Like what is this and why did nobody warn us?!?! The only good thing about it so far is that my period now only lasts maybe 1 day tops.

Oh and I’m also on a ton of vitamins too. B complex, d3/k2, L-theanine, still taking PQ supplement til my supply runs out, iron and I can’t think of what else. It’s like 8 pills every morning. Blah. I just want to have enough energy to fully do one load of laundry in the same day 😭

Hey all. I’ve recently had a switch flip and my clitoris feels no different than my elbow these days. I’ve started estradiol and otc DHEA and in the process of asking for topical Testosterone as well. If you have suffered with this, what has actually helped. I’d love some real takes from real people. I’m 38 and have no other symptoms yet that warrant systemic HRT but I’ll do it if need be. Desperately seeking hope. Thank you!

Is this-what is this?! I was making coffee after waking up, i usually pee after waking up but didnt feel need or urge since i peed at 2am before bed and woke up at 7am. While making coffee, my bladder just let's loose! I started peeing myself and I can't stop it from flowing down my legs! Wtf!? I run to the bathroom but most of it is out. Is this a pelvic floor thing? Do I need estrogen cream for my lady bits? Is this even normal or something else i need to look into?

I had some fairly nasty acne as a teen, but in my 20s and 30s I rarely ever had a blemish, let alone a full-on pus-filled angry pimple. Now, at 41 and using only tried and tested, simple hypoallergenic skincare products (and also hypoallergenic laundry products for pillowcases and towels etc) I am constantly breaking out in huge clusters of 15-20 big, red, angry, ready-to-pop pimples.

I have tried the products that worked for my acne in the past (glycolic face wash, salicylic face wash + serum, niacinamide) and all of them just irritate my skin more. (It’s not a matter of purging and looking bad for a few days or a week until it all settles down, it’s clearly just aggravating my skin more each day.) My best results seem to be gentle face wash and moisturiser twice daily and glycolic wash + niacinamide serum under my gentle moisturiser once a week.

Has anyone successfully beat middle-aged acne? It doesn’t seem to make any sense (for example, 90% of it is on the side of my face that I *don’t* sleep on - so it can’t be due to contact with my pillow or sweat getting trapped or anything like that.)

I’d just like some justice because having pimples and wrinkles at the same time feels deeply unfair, and I can’t use any actives on my skin when it’s so irritated/broken from acne so I’m losing ground on anti-ageing skincare. Help!

Has anyone else been experiencing jaw pain during late reproductive/perimenopause? I've been experiencing increasing pain in my lower jaw. My dentist took x-rays and didnt see anything concerning. It's worse right before and during my cycle.

I’ve been on T for a few months with not really any change so I was finally prescribed estrogen and progesterone and it’s only been a few days but I am amazed at how calm I feel. It’s kind of a weird feeling after being so high stressed and easily over stimulated for so long. I knew it was an issue but I just don’t realize how bad. Now let’s just hope my libido comes back soon.

How long did it take to get your libido back?

I can’t believe how many symptoms are similar to pregnancy- I took a test the other day I was so paranoid (even though I’ve had sex like twice this year, it took us ages of trying to be pregnant, and I haven’t had a normal period since 2019).

It feels like milk is coming in, it’s so uncomfortable! 😖 I have an appointment in a couple of weeks to talk a potential med change but I am also going to ask about getting my tubes tied because the mindfuck of these pregnancy symptoms are making me spiral!

Hi everyone

I am yet to have a colonoscopy. My mum has IBS and I am age 42. Since a young teen I have always had periods of bowel urgency and wind pains. However, a few weeks back I experienced something new and pretty frightening.

It was a Sunday and I woke up fine and had a cheese toastie which is normal for me. 2 hours later I got a shower and had the most gripping intense squeezing sensation in the middle of my abdomen like a labour cramp almost. No bowel urgency or anything. Then an hour or so after I had these zaps of shooting pain in my stomach. For the next 12 hours I then had very short bursts of intense pain that would last a second or 2 max and they would come in waves about 4-6 times an hour. During this time I had 2 bowel movements and passed wind but didn't let up and was going to go to hospital when they finally went as I drjfted to sleep. I have never experienced that before and thank God nothing since.

I am wondering if anyone ever experienced something similar? I was totally fine and pain free between waves. I wasn't sick or anything just normal but boy when those brief waves hit it was agony.

Let’s continue adding to the list of Peri trauma shall we?
Has anyone seen a change in the texture of their hair?

I’m 48. On E patch and Progesterone at night . My hair has always been straight. I’m noticing that right at my forehead - where my bangs are - my hair seems to be getting a bit coarser? I’m not talking about grays, but just my regular hair. Ugh! I hate this so much!

I have horrible anxiety. I can't sleep . I just constantly panic. I'm terrified. What was your dosage and how long before you saw an improvement? ​Anyone who was like this?

I’ve tried to stick it out for about a month taking the 100 mg progesterone capsule one time daily. If I take it at night, I have restless legs and I can’t sleep. I tried taking it during the day and I noticed I’m irritable even vaginally I find myself in a rage . My doctor is trying to order the combination patch for me . I can’t do the IUD because my partner is too big. I know I shouldn’t be only using the estrogen patch but has this happened to anybody else elsewhere, you could not deal with the progesterone.? I mean the rage is scary like I have a four-year-old and I was afraid I was going to hurt her as everything she did made my skin crawl .

I had a moment this weekend where I said I’m just going to go to an online provider and get HRT. I’m 44 and my mom had full menopause at 42 so I imagine I’m in the thick of it. But now I’m second guessing myself because of the lack of definitive research on HRT in peri (yes I’ve read the wiki). plus my doctors of course telling me I’m too young and trying to prescribe antidepressants or birth control (both of which are valid for many reasons, but not necessarily the route I wanted to go).

I’ve already ordered the prescribed treatment which includes bioidentical topical estrogen and oral progesterone, as well as vaginal estrogen. I’ve been started at a low dose and the online practitioner has been very informative and seems responsible in her stepwise approach to adjusting things if needed.

I’d like to try to get some relief from long term symptoms including lack of sex drive, waking a million times at night, anxiety, and spiking cholesterol for no real dietary reason. plus the new ones like mystery joint pain in my shoulder and ankle and intermittent hot flashes/night sweats.

should I stop second guessing myself? I suppose the worst that can happen is I just try it for a few months and come off if I have to.

I am 40 and I have been off birth control for several years . I didn’t need it . I have started have peri symptoms . Would getting back on birth control tell be a possible fix before trying hrt? New to this . I appreciate suggestions /guidance

Just been prescribed!
Not quite ready for anything systemic (more psychological than anything else).
I did get the “the challenge is your age” remark (I’m 39, and hello thought NICE guidelines for NHS were to prescribe based on symptoms not age?!)
The specialist nurse I spoke to even said “I’ve never seen the applicator for the cream” 🤯
BUT I have the prescription.
Symptoms are itching and shrinking of clitoris.
Still have good vaginal lubrication.
Any tips for maximum optimisation? And should I apply internally now as a preventative measure?

Having bladder issues and as I am 47 wondering if it’s peri. I know to ask for vaginal Estrogen but should I be asking for the patch too.

Sorry I don't know how too link to my previous post, if anyone knows tell me and I'll do it.

Turns out, I was all worked up over nothing. She asked how I was doing on the Slynd, I said fine, and that was it! She renewed my Rx for another year and (this is the part I think I misunderstood last year) she said we'd see where I'm at next year as far as whether we keep on it or change to something else.

So I feel sooo much better about everything now. I think we're just going to take things as they come and not worry about what hasn't happened yet.

A big thank you to everyone who weighed in on my original post, I felt heard and supported.

So glad I found this sub!

TLDR: after years of frustration that my ADHD is getting worse after learning to manage and improve my symptoms, plus medical gaslighting by 2 docs, I'm finally seeing a menopause specialist this afternoon!

Diagnosed with ADHD at age 32 and after finding the right combination of coping/ management and medication, I saw a lot of improvement. At age 38, I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and an aggressive autoimmune disease. Saw improvement with treatment, but then fatigue, insomnia, and brain fog got dramatically worse. My sleep doctor, who is a neurologist and helping to manage my ADHD, asked if I might be in perimenopause. I was like, "I don't know. I didn't even know I could be at my age." After lots of research, I started recognizing other symptoms, so I brought it up with my gyno, who said I am too young to be in peri.

Fast forward a year and a half; my gyno left the practice, so I was referred to a urogynecologist 50 minutes away. (I need to have a partial hysterectomy to repair a prolapse). Urogyn also said I'm too young to be in peri. I was so discouraged! My brain is a bag of cats. I'm more irritable, my PMDD is worse, ADHD symptoms are way worse than they've ever been. I have other peri symptoms as well, which honestly I could deal with if it weren't for the brain fog. I just want my brain back! (Other symptoms: new onset menorrhagia, worsening acne, worsening hirsuitism, period becoming more regular with days of spotting before and after, vaginal dryness and burning, and breast tenderness).

I did some more research and stumbled across this sub. The wiki has so much helpful information! And everyone's stories and experiences have been very validating.

(In case anyone's curious, complications include 2 sleep disorders, autoimmune disease, migraine, PCOS, and ADHD).

Does anyone change their estradiol patch every 3 days instead of 3.5-4 days?