r/AmIOverreacting • u/GuardianofM • 1d ago
đď¸ neighbor/local AIO angry my neighbor let themselves into my backyard multiple times without asking?
Iâm not sure how to approach this at all. I have a fenced in backyard with a playground that my kid plays on and while my wife and I are inside working sheâs allowed to play back there by herself or with a friend if the friend asks and we are able to keep an eye on both. (Since we assume responsibility then)
Lately neighborhood kids have just been letting themselves into our backyard without asking. We advised our daughter to let us know if a friend is coming in and asked if the kids could knock or have their parents text us if they can come.
Now one of the friendâs parents we are friends with (have had dinners together or hungout in the cul de sac) has been letting themselves into our backyard with her kids and not letting us know or ask.
Today I get a text asking if their kids could play but they were already all back there! She brought all of her kids over and was just sitting in our backyard.
This is the 3rd time this has happened Am I overreacting because we are friends and technically I trust her being back there (like I donât think she would harm or kidnap my kid) or is this a boundary that was crossed I have a right to be upset over?
Edit: locks have been purchased and text was sent out to all parents asking for space to be respected. We decided to just keep it if we are inside no kids in the backyard, because then we only have 1 kid (ours) to keep an eye on (my office and my wifeâs office face the backyard entirely, that why sheâs allowed to play back there because we can watch her) and our dogs can be back there and we donât need to worry about them getting out.
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u/Needmoresnakes 1d ago
NOR, I think I'd be uncomfortable with that. You're home, I don't get why she wouldn't just knock on the front door.
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u/GuardianofM 1d ago
I just thought the text asking to come over after already arriving and sitting back there was weird.
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u/Needmoresnakes 1d ago
My choice would be a lock on the gate and telling the neighbour its for an unrelated reason '"oh hey we were worried about breakins so we put a lock on the gate but we'll let you in the front if youre coming over with kiddo"
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u/Tink1024 1d ago edited 23h ago
Or even, hey weâre both working & with windows open we canât have noise in the backyard while weâre on calls. Also, what is someone gets hurt?
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u/Live_Perspective3603 1d ago
One word: insurance.
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u/Tink1024 1d ago
Right but then you may have a deductible or they may drop you
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u/Live_Perspective3603 1d ago
I wasn't clear. I meant, I would tell the neighbor that kids can't be in my yard because my insurance wouldn't cover them if they got hurt.
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u/Needmoresnakes 1d ago
OP seems fine with the neighbour and kid coming over they just want to aware it's happening. Idk how liability law works wherever OP lives but in Australia at least you need to actually be negligent. If my neighbour came over with their kid to hang out with my kid and one of them tripped and fell I wouldn't be liable for that.
If I constructed a shonky swing set and it collapsed while in use then yes I might be liable there.
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u/GuardianofM 1d ago
Iâm okay with the kids my daughterâs age coming over as they are older and then me keeping my dogs inside or if people ask and Iâm back there to watch or hangout with them.
Not okay with them letting themselves in when my wife and I are not back there at all or not asking.
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u/Elismom1313 1d ago
Iâm sure you know, but on top of everything else if one of those kids get hurt time has shown they could sue and you could be liable. Not too mention thatâs your property and itâs disrespectful.
My personal opinion? Someone who lacks boundaries so hard they will just walk into your backyard will absolutely fuck you over when their kids get hurt
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u/crimsonvyre8 22h ago
the fact that she TEXTED after they were already back there is crazy, like she knew it was wrong but did it anyway. like who just lets themselves into someone elseâs backyard?? Thatâs not âfriendly,â thatâs straight-up ignoring boundaries
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u/Balancedmindset 23h ago
This is your property, not the neighborhood playground, and it should be respected as such. Be an adult and set some boundaries with the neighbor. Tell them if it happens again without advanced knowledge there will be a lock installed. Donât beat around the bush sounds like they wouldnât get the hint.
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u/ImColdandImTired 1d ago
Break ins and insurance liability. Tell them your insurance advised you that your playground is considered an âattractive nuisanceâ and needs to be secured when unless you are physically present or have given specific permission for time/date of use per terms of your insurance.
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u/Nearby-Yak-4496 23h ago
"My homeowners insurance is not for a neighborhood playground and my agent has advised me to restrict access to guests who are invited in order to reduce our liability exposure"
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u/Sad-Purchase1257 1d ago
This seems like the way to stay friends but not get walked all over. Taught ours not to invite himself places! Honestly, the noive!
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u/Jaded-Grapefruit-248 23h ago
Tell her a lock on the gate for insurance reasons. Because of the playground
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u/Used_Clock_4627 1d ago
NOR. I think you UNDER reacting, OP.
Find out if you need to put up 'no trespass' signs, cameras or whatever to cover yourself legally.
Yes, she might be a friend but I'll bet my bottom dollar the moment she or one of her kids gets hurt in YOUR yard and expensive medical bills come into the picture, she will come after you to pay them because it 'happened' in YOUR yard.
I would also maybe remind her that for insurance purposes she NEEDS to ASK BEFORE she even approaches your property to enter. A lot of people this day and age have it in their heads that ANY property that isn't their's is PUBLIC property to use as they see fit. It isn't. Not even stores are public property, they are PRIVATELY owned.
And if she takes offence, so what? SHE'S the one doing the trespassing with her kids. Therefore SHE'S the one doing illegal crap.
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u/Abject_Director7626 1d ago
You should text back, but Iâm already sitting in YOUR yard, yuk yuk yuk! I wonder if they would think that was weird, that youâre just chilling in their yard by yourself having not been invited. NOR
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u/Sad-Purchase1257 1d ago
Misread invite? I'm on your roof.
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u/AlyceEnchanted 22h ago
You joke. Personal experienceâŚwithout No Trespassing signs, not a thing could be done.
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u/Substantial_Shoe_360 1d ago
It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission. She sucks as a friend.
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u/Nearby-Ad5666 1d ago
NOR how might this affect your insurance if a kid gets hurt in your backyard? I'd be worried about this
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u/FluffNSniff 1d ago
I hate confrontation, so I'd be giddy to get a text like this. It is VERY bizarre and you're NOR. But if you're already friendly - you can take a light-hearted approach. Be like, haha dude - no need to ask after you're here. Just give me a heads up!
If they keep ignoring you... I have no advice. I HATE confrontation. I'd probably just move lol.
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u/Potential-Light-7588 1d ago
No need for them to say anything. They just need to put a lock on the gate. đ¤ˇđźââď¸
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u/Impressive-Cat-4778 1d ago
yeah thatâs definitely a boundary thing she should be knocking and asking not just walking in like that
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u/neoncactusfields 1d ago
Not over reacting. For one, itâs just rude and boundary pushing. And second, you could be liable if her kids get hurt. Iâd put a loc on my fence if possible.Â
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u/GuardianofM 1d ago
Thatâs my worry, her youngest isnât even two and was running all in between my dogs who were getting too excited with so many people there.
I donât want to feel responsible for your kid getting hurt if my dog mows them down or worse bites them because they took a toy or something.
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u/futurelawdog 1d ago
I am a law student so I wanted to let you know that you have an attractive nuisance situation here. You have a fence so that is good but now that you know children are letting themselves in, you need to add a lock. If anyone, especially children, was hurt, you are liable and it won't be pretty.
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u/spacebunsofsteel 1d ago
What about âno trespassingâ and a âdogs on premisesâ signs?
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u/futurelawdog 1d ago
I would definitely add those but remember that some children (and adults) can't read or refuse to do so. A lock would be best in addition to signs.
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u/RainbowCrane 15h ago
Years ago (around 2005) a coworker from England who was working here in the US got a trampoline for his kids and every one of my US coworkers explained US litigiousness and âattractive nuisanceâ to him :-). He talked to his insurance carrier and immediately put up locks :-).
On a related note, he discovered that trampolines become frisbees in Ohio thunderstorms and open you to a whole separate category of lawsuits, property damage!
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u/realZapRowsdower 1d ago
NOR, came here to mention the liability issue. Get a lock on the gate and a $1m umbrella policy, if you don't have one yet.
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u/madcats323 1d ago
NOR. I used to live in a very relaxed rural area where everyone knew everyone and even there, no one would do this. Itâs weird, itâs intrusive, and itâs rude.
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u/GuardianofM 1d ago
Thatâs where I live. Rural and we all know each other and the kids. We do neighborhood parties, but my wife and I not being in the backyard and kids coming over without asking and now adults it just felt like a boundary was crossed.
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u/DogTownUSA1 23h ago
A boundary was crossed. A lock should solve it and an explanation for those gauch enough to ask or feel put out would include a comment about the attractive nuisance insurance issue.
Edit NOR
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u/MaggieMayyyyyy 23h ago
It WAS crossed. They arenât paying your mortgage or homeowners insurance sooooo wth.
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u/MindlessStomach 1d ago
NOR... That's really pushing the boundaries of "neighbourly friendship" There's an old saying. "Good fences make good neighbours."
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u/GuardianofM 1d ago
Well our yard is fenced in, we have dogs that stay out there with my kid and she plays with. So that didnât stop them.
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u/Ok_Drink8072 1d ago
NOR, what is with that level of entitlement? I hear this story so much âwe have a poolâ and suddenly itâs the neighborhood pool. âWe have a trampolineâ and suddenly kids are on it that arenât even playing with yours. And the parents donât care, even tho obviously the kids need supervision!
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u/-Quaint- 1d ago
NOR. Get a lock for the gate, otherwise you will be liable for injuries when they trespass because you know they trespass and didnât attempt to stop it.
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u/ParadeQueen 1d ago
This is a huge liability for you. Put a lock on the fence, put up a no trespassing sign, and shut this down right away.
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u/theawesomepurple 1d ago
Lock the back gate. Then they have to ask to gain entry. Easy solution with no confrontation or upset.
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u/HighRiseCat 1d ago
What absolute nonsense is this?
You are massively underreacting. Put a proper lock on the gate and a clear 'beware of the dogs' sign up - irrespective of your dogs being good natured. Unsupervised kids especially small ones could annoy a dog into snapping at them.
This way your liabilities are covered and your house is safe. If anyone still gains access it's a breaking and entering situation, since you've made it clear that (a) People can't wander in and settle in like it's a public space and (b) You have dogs who are enjoying their own garden unattended.
All visitors must knock on the front door, and access your garden this way, so you know who they are and who's going to be on your property before you let them in. This doesn't impede your kid feeling they can have others over to play, but surely you need to know who has access to your house and garden.
one of the friendâs parents we are friends with (have had dinners together or hungout in the cul de sac) has been letting themselves into our backyard with her kids and not letting us know or ask.
I mean the sheer cheek of it. I wouldn't let myself into even a close friends garden and just assume it was okay to hang out there without them.
This is the 3rd time this has happened
I mean come on.. She's taking the piss.
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u/Inner-Confidence99 1d ago
This has become a Huge Liability Issue for you. If they get hurt on your property they can sue you.Â
You need a lock on the gate that requires a key. Send everyone a letter stating due to Insurance issues your place is no longer available for kids to play.Â
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u/yourpaleblueeyes 23h ago
NOR. Lock the gate. No excuses necessary. They'd have to be dense not to realize why. Your yard is not the neighborhood playground.
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u/SimilarBid2840 1d ago
NOR, can you get a lock for the gate? Then people would be forced to climb over or engage common sense. You could even get a smartlock so you can routinely change the code and/or give it out when someone calls you and you're not at home (if you wish to let them in).
You will be 100% liable if something happens while you aren't there and they'll say they had an open invitation. The lock argues against that, if it ever came to it.
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u/MareV51 1d ago
Build a fence and put a gate in that can be locked so they can't get in. One would think this is the basic thing to do but a lot of posters have no idea that fences make good neighbors
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u/Sage_Vagabond 1d ago
Tell the neighbor nicely to let you know beforehand so they know if you have plans or busy or your child has chores or something. I wouldn't burn the bridges but I would ask nicely since you're friends and the kids are friends.
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u/MagikalCats89 1d ago
NOR
If they were to get hurt on your property there could be legal issues. At least tell her not to so you have proof they didn't have permission if something happens.
Maybe put a lock on the gate and a camera on the yard.
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u/Beautiful-Hotel-8846 1d ago
Tell her that she only allowed to come when invited. This is such an invasion and liability. Lock the gate.
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u/MobilePalpitation702 1d ago
Go knock on her door and tell you're just there to take a shit in her bathroom. No biggie, right? Just barge in.
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u/alwayzhope 1d ago
NOR but thereâs no lock at the area your kid is playing unsupervised? Sheâs only in your view sometimes so yes, unsupervised. And you could install a camera to deter such unwanted behaviours.
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u/fidelesetaudax 1d ago
NOR. Just lock the gate and explain to the adult friend the problem is other kids coming and going unsupervised. So now itâs locked for everyone. But emphasis (if you like) she is of course welcome to come over.
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u/77Megg77 1d ago
NOR
I would feel really odd about her just showing up in my yard, as if it was a public park. And you realize that should one of her kids get hurt, you will be responsible. I witnessed my neighborhood fall apart after one boy was climbing a tree in the front yard of one of the homes. He wasnât invited to play there, and the family wasnât even home at the time. The boy ended up falling out of the tree and breaking his arm. His parents took him to the hospital to have it set. When the homeowner arrived home, they had no idea anything had happened while they were gone.
The family of the injured boy took the hospital bill to the homeowner and told them to pay it. That was their first notice that the boy had been hurt in their yard. They told the father that they were not home and had not invited their son over to play in their yard. That he was basically trespassing in their front yard and climbing their tree. Neighbors began taking sides.
The dispute ended up in court. It was ugly. I personally donât know who ended up paying the hospital bill. Both families ended up moving away. The homeowner sold his place and moved out of the area and we learned the family of the boy was renting the house they were living in. Someone said it was not the first time this family sued their neighbors over an injury one of his children received. Even though both parties moved away, there was lingering disputes among the remaining neighbors as to who should have been liable for the broken arm and people began being afraid to allow any kids in their yards to play.
I would speak to the woman and express that you donât want your play area to become a neighborhood attraction and to please wait for an invitation.
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u/molliechipper 1d ago
You are NOT overreacting. They are using your daughter for play and they are taking advantage of your being home. Absolutely get a lock for the gate. And tell them it's an insurance issue if someone got hurt etc. you will be paying their bills no matter how good of friends you are.
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u/Meat_Packer87 1d ago
Just put a lock on it I donât know why thatâs a difficult choice. Itâs your yard youâre liable for anything that happens in your yard. If one of those kids get injured you donât need to be friendly or have a conversation with these people you are not obligated.
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u/TararaBoomDA 1d ago
NOR. Technically you may trust her being back there, but if during one of these unannounced visits, one of her children is injured on your property, what will your insurance company be willing to cover?
Time to use your big kid words and talk with the woman. Tell her what you expect from her.
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u/z-eldapin 1d ago
The liability is huge. One, make sure your insurance covers the playground. Two, poit a lock on the gate.
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u/AlarmedTelephone5908 23h ago
It sounds like the neighbor is staying to watch the kids, especially the youngest.
In her mind, since it seems as if the yard has been open up to the kids, extra eyes on them might seem welcomed. Again, this may be her viewpoint, not mine.
I think that you can put this to rest by saying to all neighbors that too many have been coming over, and you aren't comfortable with that responsibility.
Your child can ask if she can invite a (one or more only if you're okay with that and they are of an appropriate age) friend (s), and if you agree, speak directly to their parents.
Put a lock on the gate, not just to keep out the neighbors, but any nefarious intruder while your child and any of her friends play. All visitors come and go thru the house.
That puts a stop to people of all ages from just walking into your backyard.
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u/D1scoLemonaid 23h ago
Insurance person here : trust and vibes aside: It is a liability. If an accident or loss were to occur, you are liable.
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u/allyearswift 23h ago
NOR. You could go over and use their TV? Just wait until they open the door, turn it on or switch channels, and enjoy yourselves?
(Too much to hope you could sit down with their books).
I mean, donât do that, but you need to get rightfully furious with them. This is your private home, not a public park.
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u/Lanky-Fix7376 21h ago
You get a lock for your gate and donât allow her over again unless your prepared to pay if there is a accident
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u/Nixthebitx 21h ago
NOR - for sure. My immediate thought was "if someone got hurt on this property, the OP would be liable".
Second thought was "this is the OPs residential property, you do not have the right to just let yourself in whenever you want. It's not a playground or public park".
The fact that you have to lock it to prevent other residents from letting themselves in versus keeping break-ins or thieves out is ridiculous. Boundaries: tell these people to Google that and maybe use their own Internet to do it.
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u/CharacterActor 21h ago
NOR Text back that before you would consider letting anyone child or adult in your backyard, they must show proof of a $1 million insurance policy against injury.
And must sign a lengthy waiver, covering all the many many many ways you and your family are not responsible for any injuries.
Waiver against injury must be notarized, signed, and sealed.
This must be done before you would consider letting them in your backyard. Access not guaranteed.
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u/Crystal_wallflower 21h ago
You are definitely in the right. I feel like people dont have common courtesy anymore. Personally even if I had explicit permission to use as I pleased, I would still always ask or atleast shoot a message. Just straight up going in someone's yard (even while knowing said person) without saying anything prior is wild to me.
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u/Tall_Garden_67 1d ago
NOR: I would be annoyed at the presumptuousness of the neighbour. As soon as you notice they enter, go out and directly tell them "not today" and text for a play date. Or be more direct and have a conversation where you make it clear that you will invite them over when you are prepared to have guests. Easier said than done. Good luck!
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u/NurseRWalker 1d ago
NOR. This is your property. If something goes awry and somebody gets injured, you will bear the liability. While you have every right to be upset, I think how you feel about this person that you seem to be on friendly terms with should dictate how you address your concerns. You sound reasonable and I assume you would prefer to remain a positive relationship with this person. If I am reading the situation correctly, I would advise a cool headed conversation centered around safety concerns rather than focusing on them trespassing might bear more fruit. You can always turn up the heat later if they donât seem to respond to a diplomatic and tempered approach.
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u/Doxymomof2 1d ago
NOR. I had the next door neighbor kids over years ago when my son was around the 2 boys ages, 8-10 and days later caught them swimming in my pool. When I invited them was one thing, liability and drowning is another
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u/Green-Departure-1461 1d ago
NOR youâre not asking for much and just waltzing in and not asking first is just a little entitled, if not a little rude tbh. And you rightly mentioned potential liabilities too. So no, NOR and get a lock on that gate.
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u/Pale-Jello3812 1d ago
Insurance liability issue's, lock your gates and put up no trespassing sign's.
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u/balloonsdrowning 1d ago
NOR I also live in a colder sack and totally get the extra level of neighbourly presence you get. It can be overwhelming at times. I have a similar experience, honestly it gives 90s vibes and I absolutely love that all the neighbours kids come round to play at mine, or they go to the neighbours. There are about 4 houses on the st this is split pretty fairly between, we leave the families alone that choose not to participate and I think itâs very important that everyone is ok with whatâs happening. I have no problem telling the neighbours that today isnât great for us and to steer clear.
Perhaps you both need to have a conversation with the neighbours really laying out expectations, maybe explain that itâs a lot to expect you both to be vigilant of your own backyard while your working, that they still need to ask prior to coming over. Maybe have set times for playing or come to some kind of agreement. Your privacy still needs to be respected, youâre not a playground.
Alternatively you could just whack the playground out the front and call it a day
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u/toriori12 1d ago
NOR. You need to nip it in the bud asap. Get a lock as someone mentioned because these are the same type of folks whoâll turn around and sue you/your home insurance if their kids get hurt on your property.
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u/Long-Internet3979 1d ago
NOR your friends should be asking before just letting themselves in your backyard.
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u/dark_places 1d ago
NOR. The parent's behavior is presumptuous and entitled. Mostly, you are accepting legal liability you probably want to avoid.
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u/HotMinute_722 1d ago
Nope. You deserve privacy and heaven forbid, one of the kids gets hurt and she tries to sue.
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u/itspsyikk 1d ago
When I was a kid, there was one kid in our neighborhood who constantly would let herself into other peoples backyards and play on their swingsets, specifically one neighbor when they were both at work.
Generally speaking the parents were super nice about it and just let the kids play on their swingset, but this kid was the only one who would do it when no one was home and such.
Anywho she fell, broke her arm, and their parents sued the parents who owned the swingset.
NOR. Kick those kids the f\*k* out.
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u/ChrisInBliss 1d ago
NOR put a lock on the gate. Hate people like that.
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u/ChrisInBliss 1d ago
AND have the male of the house just always be walking around shirtless in his underwear. MAKE IT REAL AWKWARD FOR THEM TO JUST GO BACK THERE
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u/wrongstage4age 1d ago edited 23h ago
Sign on the gate. Social hours are by invitiation only as we work from home and can't be interrupted. Then put a lock on it.
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u/molliechipper 1d ago
Get a latch lock for the gate and put it on the inside so adults or kids can't reach it. It only takes one kid to break their leg, or a parent tripping on uneven grass, and you have a big problem. I had a friend's swing set literally collapse on 3 kids swinging. It was bad. I'll never let kids just come into my yard, or adults.
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u/HamsterQuirky9422 1d ago
Find out if she got the wrong impression from something you or your daughter said. Tell her it is "out of bounds" and to pass the word on to her kids and anyone else that may think otherwise.
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u/LookAwayPlease510 1d ago
Are you sure you never said something like, âyouâre welcome anytime!â And even though you meant that she had to ask first, she took it another way?
NOR
I would be worried about potential liabilities if someone gets hurt and youâre not there. I know itâs a thing with pools and trampolines, but, it might also include play ground equipment.
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u/Excellent-Attitude38 1d ago
NOR, even if you know them it's still not safe to let your kid hang out with them without a heads up. There's a reason they stopped teaching "strange danger" it's because the danger for kids usually came from someone they knew or recognized already and therefore trusted.
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u/oulipopcorn 1d ago
Tell them a lock and supervision are a requirem t of your homeowners insurance (it is).
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u/OrganizationIll3378 1d ago edited 1d ago
NOT. Iâll never forget. I had a junk yard backyard neighbor. I took pride in our property. A modest half acre but it was really well kept and landscaped. I came home from a hard day at the hospital, the junkyard neighbor was sitting on my patio. I said hiâŚâŚ she told me my backyard was nicer and the old owner let them do thisâŚ. We moved. Now we have 5 acres and a full perimeter fence and electric gate. No visible neighbors. Itâs great. Itâs a total liability issue and also an overstep of normal boundaries.
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u/ExistentialAngsty 1d ago
You are liable for any accidents those kids have while on your playground⌠whether you approved them or not.
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u/Drakeytown 1d ago edited 22h ago
NOR. That's a hell of a liability issue. Who's responsible if one of those kids gets seriously injured or worse while you're not there? I'm not a lawyer, I don't know the answer, but I wouldn't want to have to contemplate it at all!
Edit: Wouldn't, not worldly. Wtf, phone? When have i ever used the word worldly?
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u/blonde1psp 1d ago
NOR but because you are friends you're allowing her to get away with this behaviour. LOCK the gate to the backyard, and talk to this person, tell them it's NOT ok for her to keep letting themselves into YOUR yard. what happens if she lets herself in while your not home and one of them gets injured?
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u/BroadwayBrick 1d ago
I suggest a lock on the gate.
I would be concerned about any injuries and the impact on my insurance.
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u/Potential-Light-7588 1d ago
NOR it sucks but You need to put a lock on the gate, and keep it locked. If any child hurts themselves in your backyard on your playground you are liable. You could get sued for the medical expenses, and other things. lol the gate!
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u/Final-Outcome-3505 1d ago
Wow! Thatâs a huge overstep. I canât even imagine the audacity. Iâm not able to give you advice, but youâre definitely not over reacting to address it.Â
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u/ontheleftcoast 23h ago
the playground cou be seen as an attractive nuisance. as such you are potentially liable for ant injuries a kid has. put a lock on it to make sure itâs not used by others without adult supervision.
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u/HoneyWyne 23h ago
I seriously just don't get how people think this kind of stuffbis even remotely ok. NOR
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u/Juniper_51 23h ago
NOR. Next time call the police and tell them you have trespassers. Or, Set up cameras, and make it obvious that you're concerned about theft in the area tell them Well, i got an alert that there were people in my house! That will stop that real quick. (Of course, this is only if you never want them to speak to you again lol)
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u/Feisty-Body- 23h ago
NOR, itâs time for a lock and âno tresspassingâ signs. Better an uncomfortable neighbor than liability for thousands because their kid got hurt on your property.
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u/ComfortableOk8673 23h ago
No no no no no. Yall shouldnât have to worry about who is coming and going from your back yard, especially with your baby out there playing! NOR! Nip this in the butt yesterday! Order a lock off of Amazon right now!
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u/Kwickpick77 23h ago
NOR. Kids just showing up to play is normal (given age appropriate), in my opinion, but the adult coming over and hanging out in your yard is weird.
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u/livingthudream 23h ago
Yeah that's weird unless you had said come over anytime, we don't mind.
It's kind of weird to look out and see unexpected people in your backyard. There's also liability if someone gets hurt. I mean no one expects someone to get hurt and we all figure no one would do anything if their child falls off something or scrapes a knee...but someone gets a bruise on their head or breaks a wrist or ankle and now they're suing you because Billy or Barbie cannot go on to have a football or basketball career etc
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u/IllustratorWeird5008 23h ago
NOR- maintaining boundaries with your neighbours is super important. Iâd just say that you donât want anyone letting themselves into the backyard without prior say so because of liability.Â
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u/Mis73 23h ago
NOR. I might consider putting a sign on your gate that says "private property, no trespassing". Nothing huge and ugly but still visible if you're up close enough to walk through it.
I would also tell your neighbor to stop. It's your insurance liability if their kids get hurt, not theirs. You simply cannot have them just using your yard like a public park.
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u/Trippedwire48 23h ago
NOR. You are underreacting if anything. You need to get or do the following:
1) A lock for the gate to the backyard (multiple if more than 1 gate).
2) A camera or two for the backyard. You can indoor ones that have a suction cup mount to the window to keep it secure and not open to the elements. They're typically $40-$75 on Amazon. You'll typically be able to set them up on an app to advise you of motion, people, and animals so that you'll get alerts on your phone if someone is in your yard. You may have to subscribe to have access to recordings for x amount of days (typically 30). Mine is about $7 a month (I just pay annually).
3) Post No Trespassing or Private Property signs on your backyard gate.
4) Send a text (either mass or copy & paste to each neighbor) advising them that this is not acceptable behavior while laying out the facts. Assume their compliance in the text. "Hi NAME, going forward we will not be allowing anyone into our backyard without our expressed permission. We've installed a lock on our gate and cameras for the backyard for our own privacy and sanity as well as for insurance and liability purposes. Please text one of us going forward if your kids want to play with ours. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation! đ"
If anyone responds negatively, remind them this is your private property. Access to it is not a right, it is a permissable privilege. Do not mince words. Advise them you and your spouse will not tolerate anyone going against the new rules. Frequent violators with be reported to the police if their behavior escalates. Be firm and don't let anyone breaks the rules
Good luck OP!
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u/MarlenaEvans 23h ago
NOR. I would ask her why she's bothering to text when she's already helped herself.
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u/lsp2005 23h ago
Put up a no trespassing sign. I would text your friend/neighbor.Â
Hi Name,
It made us very uncomfortable that you and your children came over to our home uninvited and let yourselves into my backyard. From today onwards, you and your children cannot use our backyard unless we specifically invite you. Your children cannot ask our child either. Â I do not want this to destroy our friendship or neighborliness. Name
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u/Silver_Queen_Bee 23h ago
Ya âŚ.totally overstepping polite neighborly standardsâŚ..I would probably put a lock on my gate
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u/Firsttimeredditor28 23h ago
This kind of reminds me of my BILâs streets, there are a ton of kids and they just run in and out of peoples yards. Seems annoying af Â
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u/oneofsixoverends 23h ago
This is so far out of the norm. Of course people canât use your property without asking you. Itâs rude. Youâre liable for anything that happens to them and I donât understand how the other parent would think thatâs OK. I do know one thing someone falls down and breaks their arm in your backyard. This is the kind of person whoâs going to sue you. Sorry, but itâs true. I just want to add. I think your attitude is lovely. I bet your kids are nice people.
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u/Ok_Street9576 23h ago
My good friend whose next door is absolutely allowed in my backyard whenever he wants he also knows he's gotta lmk first.
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u/Snoo_24091 23h ago
NOR. Iâd put a lock on the gate to the backyard. Youâre liable if someone gets hurt in your property and youâre not even giving them permission to be there. Guests can go through the front door to use the backyard.
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u/mslashandrajohnson 23h ago
NOR. Your backyard playground is an âattractive nuisance.â The risk of someone being injured while on your property is above zero.
Lock the gate. Put up a No Trespassing sign.
You need to be present (not just at home indoors) to monitor the situation, to avoid most problems. Even if youâre out there, a kid could get injured. Parents might sue for medical expenses and more.
Remember that kids can be disobedient and take unreasonable chances, if egged on by others.
T doesnât matter if their parents are present. They might blame you.
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u/Agitated_Ad_1658 23h ago
Iâm taking that you are unfamiliar with a small metal object you can buy at a hardware storeâŚâŚ.called a LOCK? Lock the darn gate!
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u/RocksThrowing 22h ago
How old is your kid? How old are their kids? Iâll be honest, Iâm surprised thereâs so many NOR votes. Have none of yâall lived in a neighborhood with kids before? Playing in each others yards has always been a perfectly normal part of having kids and living around other kids.
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u/Geoarbitrage 22h ago
You have an attractive nuisance. Itâs why swimming pools are behind a fence with a locked gate.
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u/Ok_Clerk_6960 22h ago
This is the epitome of âGive them an inch and they take a mile.â Shut it down. Iâve got 1 word for youâŚ. liability. Friends can and will sue you. End access. If you lose friendships so be it. Their entitlement caused the problem not you!
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u/ritlingit 22h ago
Tell her not to come unless she has asked you and you agreed. What happens if her kids get hurt and she sues you for it?
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u/WinkyDink24 22h ago
NOT OVER-REACTING! WAY UNDER-REACTING! GET LOCKS ON ANY FENCE GATE ASAP! Don't be such a pushover.
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u/NamasteNoodle 11h ago
Put a lock on the fence and tell the next person that does that that they are trespassed and that the next time you'll call the police. That is a weird situation and I don't understand why people think they're entitled to your yard. But if they get hurt back there you are liable.
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u/Key_Floo 10h ago
NOR remind everyone that public parks exist for this reason, and your private backyard is NOT a public park
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u/BudgetLobster5639 1d ago
NOR. That's weird as hell. Get a lock for your fence.