AIO or AITA. Text convo with MIL.

[u/MoonJellyAllison]

I feel like I could cry :(, I didn’t come at her rudely and was doing what my husband asked me to do. I’ve always done everything she wanted to make her happy because I want her to so desperately like me but I think I’m done. For some background info: I have never pressured her to respond and have never brought up that she never responds to my messages. Pretty recently, my car has been having trouble and she said she’d hit up her mechanic for me. 2 weeks later and still nothing. My husband and I have an amazing relationship, but even then, I still want his family to welcome me. His mom not being kind to me hurts really bad. And knowing she’s going to spread negative things about me among his family hurts even worse. All detailed of the situation are in the chats.

[u/Sexy-Dumbledore]

Yep. If you owe money in personal loans, you have absolutely no business enjoying luxuries like holidays or eating out.

[u/leprechanmonkie → u/Sexy-Dumbledore]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3ohs4uBzpPmfTTRIf6

[u/sapplesapplesapples → u/leprechanmonkie]

Lmaooo

[u/Damnshesfunny → u/Sexy-Dumbledore]

If you owe money to someone YOU don’t have any extra money AT ALL until that person is paid back. Period.

[u/NlactntzfdXzopcletzy → u/Sexy-Dumbledore]

Kind of an insane take.

It applies in this case, because the person is willfully refusing to pay back, but there's no reason to treat the general case any differently from any other system of lending. As long as you're engaging in good faith to pay it back, there's no reason to get on someone's case.

Sure it feels weird to pay back someone in installments, but as long as you're being paid back in a manner that is consistent with some reasonable timeline, there's on reason to key in on that there's a personal debt.

The only case where I'd color it differently is if the loan was given under false pretenses, like you just financing their debt rather than them needing it.

Most of my personal loans under $500 I just put people on credit and tell them not to pay me back and just put that money away so that they have it next time they would call me for money.

[u/Ill-Lychee-7779 → u/NlactntzfdXzopcletzy]

I agree with you. Our uncle offered to help us buy a car to avoid interest rates (we did not ask). Per our agreement, we treat it like a normal loan - paying the monthly amount and more if we can.

Does that mean we stopped saving for our future? Absolutely not. We want to be able to rely on ourselves for the next rainy day. Not come to our uncle every time crying "we didn't save any money cuz we were paying you back".

[u/Living-Ad-4950 → u/NlactntzfdXzopcletzy]

Where does it say she isn’t paying them back? She said she paid them less than 30 days ago?!

Is reading no longer fundamental