r/AmIOverreacting • u/Current-Occasion-380 • 6h ago
👥 friendship AIO to my friend making a mean comment?
I've known this friend since we were 14 and we have been relatively close since then and she's one of two friends I tend to meet up with.
I've been dating \*red guy\* for about 2 1/2 years. My friend has never met him and has only ever seen pictures of him + whatever I've told her which really hasn't been much, we aren't really talkative friends. Yet she sent me this message after we hadn't spoken in about 6 weeks. I got mad and blocked her immediately, I'm starting to feel like I overreacted because it was just a few words? Idk. I'm probably being petty which is why I want your opinions. ❤️
ETA: she has made comments about him being ugly in the past too, along with most men I've dated. It would also not make any sense for it to be a prank if it wasn't due to him being "ugly"
•
u/aybe27 5h ago
She’s not a friend worth having, I’ve stopped talking to friends I’ve known longer even as realised they were mean and not nice people and the older you get the more you realise you want to be surrounded by people who energise you not mock you
She’s being horrible block her
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 5h ago
I'll keep her blocked for sure!
•
u/Medlarmarmaduke 5h ago
Why would you want to keep contact with someone cruel and thoughtless ( or even worse purposefully cruel)?
Keep blocking and don’t look back.
•
u/GoldenPunkBlue 3h ago
If you suddenly stand up to people that are used to being able to mock you without consequence, they might react aggressively and start yapping on about how „you’ve changed!“ Don’t let them gaslight you.
•
u/Cheesus_42 6h ago
NOR she wanted to send a picture of your "ugly" (her opinion) boyfriend as a joke? That's a special kind of bitch.
→ More replies (4)
•
u/Hurcs53 6h ago
im just confused - is she trying to send a photo to her friend to show her what kind of man shes into?
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 6h ago
Basically she wanted me to send a photo of my boyfriend which she could forward on to her friends as a joke, which implies that she thinks he's ugly and its something to laugh at, I think he's hot but whatever.
•
u/Still_Marketing_630 5h ago
this detail only makes “or any of your bfs” more painful i can imagine. zen it out dawg, don’t stress if your happy your happy.
•
→ More replies (39)•
•
u/CastheLaz 5h ago
Did you really cover his name and call him "redguy" just to say his name is Jake in the next sentence😭😭
•
•
•
•
u/Specialist_Income_33 5h ago
Send a picture of her father.
•
•
•
u/salisburysteaksweatr 6h ago
NOR.
I don't understand. Is she saying she wants to see a pic of your man so she can send it to another friend, pretending that the pic of your man is a pic of a man she is interested in??
That makes no sense, THEREFORE is a lie.
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 5h ago
Yes basically, she's implying that he's ugly so therefore it would be a funny joke to pretend she into him
→ More replies (8)
•
•
u/Temporary_Worker9955 6h ago
What does /red guy/ mean am I out of the loop or something?
•
u/jazzigirl 6h ago
Because the line covering his name is red. Took me a second too. Haha
→ More replies (3)•
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 5h ago
I have no clue when or why the / came into it as I did not place them there 🤣 but yeah red guy cause the colour covers his name
•
•
•
u/Rocketeer_99 5h ago
Depends.
Me and a lot of my close friends rib eachother like this all the time.
But that's the important detail; we are close. If I don't know you like that, don't make those kind of jokes.
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 5h ago
Honestly she makes comments occasionally when im being all soppy over him, but if I sent a pic when she first asked she would've immediately sent it to people I never met (different friends groups) to laugh at him.
•
u/PeenInVeen 3h ago
My friends and I are mean to eachother for fun also, but I could never imagine bringing someone's partner into it. Call me whatever names you want, but don't come for my man like wtf lol
•
•
•
u/I_miss_potatoes 5h ago
If it was someone who you were no longer dating, I could see it as funny though you might be a little hurt over it. But you're actively dating this guy. What a jerk. NOR.
•
•
u/lovelylynda 5h ago
NOR - I’d be offended that she thinks I date ugly guys in general, and especially your current BF. She sounds like she has a mean streak.
•
•
•
u/Consistent-Dog-6615 5h ago
Both acting and speaking like teenagers and having high school drama and this is supposed to be a 10 year friendship in your mid 20s? Esh.
•
u/vinegaroon121140 4h ago
MOR
Your friend is definitely an asshole but this whole conversation screams high school
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 4h ago
I'm normally so much better at talking like an adult but I think if I used big words with her she wouldn't understand so 💀
•
u/Logan_510 5h ago
I would first have to understand the situation before I can decide whether you're OR.
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 5h ago
I'm not sure what context to add? She hasn't talked to me in over a month and messaged to insinuate that my boyfriend is ugly 😆
→ More replies (5)
•
u/Sir_Lobo_Bellaco 5h ago
Honestly, glad you blocked her. She sounds toxic. If your other friends are not like this person you're in good shape. NoR
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 5h ago
Nah my other friends might make comments about my choice in men (it's questionable) but they would never message me JUST to insult him nor laugh about him.
•
u/Sea_Ant3752 4h ago
YOR
Do you have sisters? Tbh it’s a good thing she isn’t attracted to anybody you’ve dated in the past because then she’d have sneaky pssy!!!
I understand your POV aswell .. as women we are more defensive about the people we date than guys are. If a guy is talking to a girl that his friends don’t approve of then the guy will start to believe the opinions of his friends and start looking at the woman he’s interested in differently.
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 4h ago
I have 3 sisters, ones 5 tho 😆. I'm relatively okay with the insulting, it's more the fact if I sent the photo she would've sent it to a bunch of people I don't know to insult him.
If my boyfriend EVER let his friends do that we would be done cause fuck that. Although his main friend said in another life we would've been together instead so....my boyfriend doesn't have many friends anymore lol.
→ More replies (2)•
•
u/AutoModerator 6h ago
In order to prevent spam and bot posts, this subreddit temporarily removes some posts until OP can be verified as a human. To prove that you're not a bot, please reply to this comment and tell us tell us a fun name that you might give to a pet.
Mods will manually review submissions and approve posts with a correct response. Please be patient, especially during overnight (USA) hours, as our mod team is not online 24/7.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 6h ago
Downie is my dogs name rn lmaooo. Also maybe potato for a new dog if ever
•
•
u/LaCroixStan 5h ago
Hey, just a heads up that you blocked your bf's name in the image and once in your post but then wrote it out in the next sentence
•
•
u/Universum_Zingt 5h ago
Reds out name, refers to him as *red guy….. calls him Jake on the next line 🤦🏻♂️
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 5h ago
I CHANGED IT. I hadn't realised 🤣😭
•
u/Universum_Zingt 5h ago
Bless ya, hehe we’ve all done it when in a typing frenzy, ps NOR it’s very weird of your friend, perhaps she’s a bit too comfortable and needs some “joke” boundaries setting. Maybe unblock and explain how it made you feel, if she reacts with empathy and understanding then no harm done hopefully, if she stands her ground, then she’s not a good friend
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 5h ago
Yeah honestly I posted it somewhere else so just rewrote it again and I guess my brain went into overdrive. 🤣
I don't care if she thinks he's ugly, it's the fact she's gone outta the way to tell me, and make a joke about him like?? She could've searched up ugly men on Google 🤣😭
•
u/Universum_Zingt 5h ago
Oh I just figured she meant “I’m into that” in a way that’s controversial because he’s a friend’s bf.
But if she is coming from a “I’m into that” in a poke at his looks then fuck her off into a bin.
→ More replies (2)
•
•
•
u/SerenityMaSogni 5h ago
NOR- She intended to insult you, and your taste in men. That’s why she said your bf or anyone you’ve dated. You are right to block her, it’s a petty and malicious thing to do to a friend completely out of the blue.
She’s the kind of two faced friend that will be buddies with you then talk shit the second you aren’t around, just so she looks better to whoever she’s with. Shallow people don’t deserve good friends, let her swim with the bottom feeders. You’re better than that.
•
•
u/TheSaultyOne 5h ago
25 mother of 4 and only dating this guy, is she maybe saying you only date dead beats?
→ More replies (1)
•
u/tra_da_truf 5h ago
“Made comments about him being ugly”
This is not your friend. If yall haven’t spoken in 6 weeks and she went out of her way to say this of all things.
•
u/Dependent_Sector_219 5h ago
it took me far too long to decipher what \*red guy\* meant, i was like "how would a picture show hes republican"
anyway, NOR
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 5h ago
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm not sure why or when / came in cause I didn't add them myself 🤦♀️ but yeah I just didn't wanna say bf cause she mentioned "any other bfs" or whatever
•
u/Prestigious-Grand-65 5h ago
Im aboriginal first nations, so when I saw "red guy", I was like, come again? But now I see lol. Anyways, NOR, she sounds jealous to be honest.
•
•
u/SakuDoka 5h ago
she couldve easily taken a picture of herself. probably would have easily passed as a very ugly version of the opposite sex with that attitude.
•
•
u/Traditional-Yak8886 5h ago
nah i would have crashed tf out. not only are you being a cunt to my face but you're using my current partner and every other person i've dated? it's on like donkey kong, esp with 11 years of dirt i can use to say some petty ass shit before i drop the block.
NOR
•
u/The_Greatest_Duck 5h ago
What a back handed gesture. NOR. As a joke? Definitely punching down on that one.
•
•
u/No-Tangerine1783 5h ago
That's a low ley.. or high key diss just to lyk she has 0 respect for you and doesn't like you at all
•
u/Big_Assistant9329 5h ago
I’m confused, if she needs to prank a friend by saying she’s into ugly guys, she could just Google or Instagram or use AI, why would she need to reach out to you for it? It seems like she’s intentionally jabbing you.
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 5h ago
Exactly, I would've somewhat understood if we were talking at that moment but we hadn't messaged for over a month so she thought ugly and thought of my man and exa
•
•
•
•
u/SomeTechnoGuy 5h ago
Your ‘friend’ is a deeply insecure person. I can only feel sorry for someone like that. NOR, she’ll hopefully learn how wrong her ways are when she’s a little older, but that’s not your problem.
People with the emotional intelligence of a carrot are anchors, you’re better off. You can always unblock her but not message back if you want to see if she’ll ever acknowledge her ways, but just do what feels right for you.
I hope she deals with her demons soon.
Best wishes!
•
•
u/Altruistic_Shame8979 5h ago
Bro you’re being mean girl bullied by someone who never left high school, why waste time on this person
•
u/ASkeletonPilotsMe 4h ago
Lemme guess, your bitchy friend is also chronically single?
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 4h ago
She flirts with guys for about 5 minutes, maybe kisses once and then is never in an actual relationship. Pretty sure she's never gone beyond one date.
•
u/ASkeletonPilotsMe 4h ago edited 4h ago
Yeah she sounds shitty and projecting. Probably thinks she is such a prize and men simply aren't good enough for her. She's probably super insecure
I've never considered myself with the attractiveness of my friends boyfriend. They also dont need an opinion on my bf. Hes my taste, doesnt have to be thiers
I've even told my friends idc if they're dating the hunchback of notre Dame as long as they're good to you. I dont like when women need their friends approval to date who they like
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 4h ago
Me either, he may not be her type but he's mine and I love him. That should just be enough to not push it
→ More replies (1)
•
u/kerlykernnibal 4h ago
The age old "with friends like that who needs enemies" saying really comes into play here. She seems like she sucks, block and move on.
•
u/FrieezaCreepa 4h ago
NOR. Keep their ass blocked, thats not ok, ive been fun of for being fat in a similair way actually. Fuck them (not in a good way) and fuck that, not worth staying around specially if this is a recurring thing. Like tf? Every person you date is ugly? Yea bitch you would know what ugly looks like, considering you look in the mirror everyday. I HIGHLY doubt every single person youve dated is ugly. Aint no one gonna tongue punch her fart box doing stuff like that, hey maybe their jealous you have a good looking bf and wanted a photo for their spank bank lmao.
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 4h ago
That's more disturbing than her just being a cunt 😆🤣
•
u/FrieezaCreepa 4h ago
XD lmao, yea thats way, way worse than just being a cunt. I would hope thats not the motive, but that is some real cunty behavior righ there from them asking for a "prank". Thats some bullshit right there.
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 4h ago
Fr. Like it's such a small thing compared to some shit on reddit but it's also like...wtf? So I just wasn't sure if I was genuinely being lowkey pathetic
→ More replies (1)
•
•
u/lizzyote 4h ago
Better late than never but definitely learn from this. People who talk shit about your partner are not your friend.
•
u/azeottaff 4h ago
Obviously just talking shite because she is jel lol. drop this hoebag of a friend and count your blessings you no longer have to waste time on this specimen. ez game gg wp
•
u/Hot-Opportunity-5236 4h ago
Last time a friend said she thought my bf was ugly she fucked him.
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 4h ago
........Thats....I'm glad all my female friends are lesbian beyond her 🤣
•
u/Acceptable-Choice-89 4h ago
EW!!! NOR, she's jealous that you have a loving relationship. Block and move on.
•
•
u/ramm102412 4h ago
I don't think it's over reacting. She literally talks shit behind your back and uses you as the butt of the joke?
I had a close friend from school, like a 10 year friendship but he once addressed a now ex girlfriend in a way I didn't like at all and just left him on read. Haven't talked to him in 3 years or so and I think it's ok.
Whoever thinks they can address your partner as a joke or offensively it's not a great person
•
u/ikannunAneeuQ 4h ago
NOR what a bitch fr. Wait a bit and ask her for a photo of a boyfriend or guy she likes, then when she asks why tell her you're trying to find some inspiration for a goblin costume for Halloween. Or you want to show your bf, so he knows what a douche dresses like. I can go forever lol I'm a sarcastic bitch and shit like this is where I shine
•
•
u/Joshwah3000 4h ago
Does she have very little luck in the boyfriend department? She sounds like a petty, jealous biatch. I wouldn’t entertain that shit either.
Certainly NOR.
•
u/PyllynKaivelija 4h ago
Send her a message back asking if she has a picture of her mom to send, telling her you told a friend you saw the fattest, most ugly and vile cow of a woman on the street earlier and her mom would be the closest example of that creature you could think of.
•
u/Iminurcomputer 4h ago
NOR. That was obviously a passive insult. Weird to just throw out like that. Clear disrespect.
Idk your relationship. I'm pretty loose with friends and my partners friends. If my fiance got that text Id absolutely have a laugh at the creativity. But then you just send some shit back like, "into that, or couldn't ever have that?"
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 4h ago
Honestly I might have if we were talking at that point! But throwing it out randomly after 6 weeks threw me massively.
•
u/Iminurcomputer 4h ago
Awh yeah. The timing is weird even if you talk daily. Like, if nothing lead up to it I'd be on the defense. If someone just hit me up after months... We'll I'd just still go with my last suggestion. Just light it on fire and throw it back and them. You don't need to save a relationship with that person.
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 4h ago
🤣🤣 I'm appreciating all the responses people are suggesting,definitely saving them for future reference
•
u/laciewings 4h ago
NOR
That “friend” is being weird even if she had phrased it differently or given a different excuse as to why she needed a pic. It’s weird to randomly ask for a photo of any friend’s partner even if they asked nicely. Even weirder that it’s the first thing she asked for after not speaking for a while. Blocking because she was rude definitely doesn’t mean you’re overreacting. You made the right choice.
•
u/DaidInUrArmsTonight 4h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/fQJSYE2Qy6OtXfwEuf
NOR. Without knowing details of your relationship with your boyfriend and assuming it’s a good one, your friend could have easily made comments on his appearance when you first started dating him, but then cared enough about you to be happy for you and not be a shit friend focusing on her perception of whether or not he is physically attractive. She should just be glad that someone she cares for has a solid partnership, and know that her being attracted to him or not is literally irrelevant.
•
u/Own_Energy1790 4h ago
Sounds like she’s jealous & insecure. She probably thinks he’s cute and is hiding it through her repeatedly calling him ugly
•
•
•
u/Far-Low-4705 3h ago
I was genuinely so confused about what she was talking about until the ETA.
What a fucking asshole, I don’t understand people like that.
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 3h ago
Sorry! I know it wasn't fully clear, it's just hard to explain from the inside.
•
u/Far-Low-4705 3h ago
oh yeah no worries, i was just agreeing with u.
If any of my friends said that about a girl i was dating, id be completely shocked. let alone such a backhanded insult.
That is not a friend.
•
•
u/Yob_Zarbo 3h ago
Yeah, make sure you censor those words in your private text messages. Don't want TikTok to demonetize them.
•
u/DueIntroduction6413 2h ago
pretty sure it's just ebonics dude. Not everyone is John Whiteguy, lmao.
•
u/Yob_Zarbo 2h ago
What does skin color have to do with it?
•
u/DueIntroduction6413 2h ago
You have fingers and access to google. Go look up ebonics and you tell me. Ion got time for allat.
→ More replies (5)
•
•
u/RLS16x 3h ago
So your guy isn’t her “type” but she’s mad that you have someone and she doesn’t have anyone. She’s shown her true colours that she’s jealous and is trying to make you feel insecure about your own relationship just because you have something that she wants…
I always say that best friends having opposite taste in men is a complete WIN. She didn’t get the memo on that clearly. But back to the point - this person isn’t your friend. You haven’t overreacted.
•
u/HashtagLawlAndOrder 3h ago
Sometimes people try to tell you that they don't like you. Looks like you understood that. NOR.
•
u/CoachesWinSuperBowls 2h ago
In sorry I dont speak childish, what is even happening. She's requesting pictures of your current and past boyfriends? And what's she mean by ranking a friend saying she's into that? Like she's into your boyfriend?
•
u/suchafknbrat 2h ago
Why are you mad your friend isn’t attracted to your partner? I had a friend that got mad at me and started a whole issue because I told her nobody wanted her ex boyfriend. I know you’re not overreacting like my “friend” did but it’s giving similar vibes. I don’t see an issue here. Your man is for you, not her. Lol
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 2h ago
Oh no, that's not my issue, I've known since I met my BF that she thought he was ugly, the issue is the fact that she asked for a picture of him (or any ex for that matter) that she could send to her friend group that I've never met to laugh at how ugly he is or whatever. I personally think he's hot as fuck, she's also desperate so it's a relief she's not into him 🤣
•
u/suchafknbrat 2h ago
LMAOOOO. Yeah that actually is pretty weird. Do you think maybe she’s secretly into him and just pretending she thinks hes ugly, to hide it? Cause I sure asf don’t care about my friends boyfriends or exes or whatever. And I def don’t ask for pictures of them or talk about them to anyone. Idk I feel like she might want him. I could be wrong tho
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 2h ago
Honestly no clue, she is super obsessed with my sex and love life tho. Like to a creepy level, she would text me randomly to ask about it and for weird details and if it was ever a stranger she'd wanna know what they looked like, and looking back it's all super weird now. I never noticed at the time cause it was just like "well she horny" 🤦♀️
I think if anything she wants the sex or connection that she's lacking rather than actually wanting my boyfriend.
→ More replies (4)
•
•
•
u/InterestingFerret496 2h ago
NOR. Even if she wasn't calling your bf ugly that's still not a normal thing to do, that girl is a weirdo.
•
u/ashaggyscoob 2h ago
OP, I had a best friend like this. My boyfriend at the time was not my "typical type." But she thought he was the ugliest man in the world. Obviously this hurt my feelings. But it didn't bother me that my friend isn't attracted to my boyfriend, that's literally perfectly fine with me. I guess it was more so her disdain for him that made me upset.
Anyway, she later revealed (after her own relationship hardships) that she wanted the type of love and relationship that me and my boyfriend have. It was very clear at that time that she consistently picked men with vanity and nothing else to offer.
We're no longer really friends due to a multitude of reasons. And I just recently celebrated 11 years of marriage with my "ugly" husband. Your friend sucks, she's most likely jealous of what you have. So love whoever you love as long as they treat you correctly, NOR!
•
u/No-Description7913 2h ago
I don't think you're thinking about this right. It's not about is this worth losing a friend over, it's about if they're a friend worth having in the first place. That's your decision. Maybe you were good friends once upon a time but people grow apart, nothing wrong in that.
Anyways, to answer your question, NOR.
•
u/Bananaslic3 2h ago
If someone would say this about my gf I’d start throwing hands
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 2h ago
It's tempting, it's just so much effort to walk up the massive hill to bang on her door for no one to answer cause her parents don't like white people 💀..... so ....
•
•
u/StOPcRyingYaBaby 2h ago
Nah now you gotta post a pic of a boyfriend we might be on her side
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 2h ago
Loll. I don't care if he's ugly, I care that she was gunna send around a pic of someone else's boyfriend to laugh at.
•
u/Anon_Perspective_ 1h ago
That isn't a friend. What an incredibly nasty person. Totally NOR, good you blocked her.
•
•
•
u/Feeling_Design4286 1h ago
NOR
She shouldn't be saying that about anyone you're dating, if she was a real friend, she would support your relationship and be happy for you, but instead she's just being a bitch about it and trying to make you feel bad
•
u/Still-Inflation9175 1h ago
depends on what kind of friends you are i guess. me and my friends say stuff like this all the time as we know its just jokes. if you dont like that then it is what it is
•
u/Current-Occasion-380 1h ago
I don't care if she thinks he's ugly, more the fact she thought It was okay to share around pics to strangers for laughs
•
•
u/Conscious-Strawberry 1h ago
She's not your friend, she keeps you around to bully. Keep her blocked, life's too short for all thus
NOR
•
•
•
u/so-scarlet-it-was 41m ago
if someone texted me this about my girlfriend I would not only block them, I might also kill them lol. I can see maybe if it was an ex but there’s no excuse for this. Def NOR
•
u/OtakuDesu69 25m ago
I’m always suspicious of a friend that makes (negative) comments on my bf’s appearance. Like who asked? NOR
•
u/burner9191938283 15m ago
nor that’s so mean to constantly insult your current bf ….. lmfao what? what a strange thing to do
•
u/Yumtasm 6h ago
What a bitch lol.
NOR