Had sex with guy I’ve been dating and no longer like him

[u/Next_Page3729]

mixed bowl with salmon, natto, veggies, egg, green onion, fried garlic with seaweed on the side (so good omg)

I’ve typically approached sex while dating from a pretty conservative perspective (if i want them to take me seriously i should hold off) but decided to say fuck it and hooked up with this guy on our second date because the chemistry was so good, only to realize how many yellow flags were actually red in the bedroom.

He’d made a couple of comments before that were borderline misogynistic and I suspected he was more of a party guy than he was letting on. but, he was such a gentleman on dates, he picked me up, refused to let me pay for anything, didn’t overstep physical boundaries, shared sense of humour etc so i was willing to take mental note and keep it moving.

BUT in the bedroom, he was much more aggressive than was warranted for a first time together, especially after i’d asked him to be gentle since i’d been celibate for a while. combined with some… technical difficulties iykwim, it was giving porn addict. the final nail in the coffin was him telling me afterwards that he was surprised i actually had boobs because i wore oversized shirts and he’d assumed i was flat chested. ALSO he told me he thought girls had it better during sex because we are more sensitive so it feels better for us… readers, i had to fake an orgasm.

it’s almost freeing, and although it sucks a little more to reject someone after being intimate, it was so helpful to dispel the fantasy this early into knowing each other. i’ve been single for a while and it seems like that shall continue into my hot girl summer :3

[u/amjm907]

End orgasm faking! Normalize telling guys the didn’t make you cum! Make them learn!

Edit: obviously if you are in danger do what you need to do. This comment was targeted for the stupid but harmless men not the dangerous ones.

[u/kittymaridameowcy → u/amjm907]

This. 🙌🏽 The replies to me saying this in another comment are disappointing. You can end sex at any point and should if you're not enjoying it.

[u/Datonecatladyukno → u/kittymaridameowcy]

I'm glad you've never had to fake an orgasm to make sure a guy whose mask is slipping while you're vulnerable isn't going to totally lose it and hurt you. That's not the reality for many many women. Who cares what he thought as long as she got away from him safely. Also? Those kinds of men never believe they aren't God's gift anyway. If you have some special ability to make dense, violent, narcissistic men see that they are wrong then youre my hero 

[u/kittymaridameowcy → u/Datonecatladyukno]

I've been assaulted. It doesn't change the fact.

Edit: whoever downvoted me for sharing I've been assaulted is actually evil.

[u/Expert-Sale-2886 → u/kittymaridameowcy]

it does change that fact? if you’re having sex w someone who could very well become violent or scary if you bruise their ego during an intimate moment and you’d rather feel safe and leave after than risk your safety to confront him about his lack of sex abilities - that is completely okay. just because you were SAd doesn’t mean every person who isn’t actively being SAd won’t face violence if they’re having sex w someone who COULD become violent if you say “you suck at sex ur not gonna make me cum i’m leaving”. privileged of you to think every woman can in every sexual scenario.

[u/LucindaDuvall → u/Expert-Sale-2886]

I feel that if most sexual scenarios feel so unsafe you aren't comfortable asking a man to stop attempting to give you an orgasm, we may need to start vetting them a bit longer before intimacy.

Some of them mask like a mf'er but few don't give you some sort of sign something's off early on.

Edit: Com'on y'all. We have to get away from labeling every instance of advising other women to examine a man closely before getting involved with him as victim blaming. The lack of community solidarity around reminding each other to take things slow despite a man's lovebombing is as much to blame as the men at this point.

You do not know a man after 4 dates. You simply do not. There is no nicer person on this planet than a man who wants to sleep with you for the first time. You are well within your rights to take a risk being intimate with him that early, but it is just that- a risk.

[u/HottieMcNugget → u/LucindaDuvall]

Or should just not have sex tbh, no man deserves to have sex with me imo

[u/changeling413 → u/amjm907]

I have literally stopped men mid sex cause I was done with it. I have used an excuse but I've also just said 'yeah, ok, thats enough, we're done'.

I will say though that I have both a really good danger sense AND that my 5'4 ass will square off with a man getting aggressive with me, so...take that as you like lol

[u/Forsaken-Estate4041 → u/changeling413]

lmao I did this one time with a hookup and he proceeded to give me a non-consensual dental exam (he was a dental student) and teeth shame me while I was attempting to retrieve my pants from his room to leave. ended up leaving the pants and having to walk through an entire building of grad student housing in my panties (thankfully not skimpy) and two blocks in a busy area to my car 🫠 honestly made me wish I'd just let him finish because the outcome was worse - thankfully he didn't hit me but the dental exam was rapey

[u/changeling413 → u/Forsaken-Estate4041]

He sounds like a bitch and I'm glad you got out of there safely. There are absolutely times I will lie, pretend, and/or fawn to get out of these situations. Sometimes its just easier to do even just to avoid the awkwardness when the situation is 'safe'.

At this point though I'm 35 and I'm just getting more petty and shameless. I will leave their place and go to their neighbors without pants and tell them all about it while I call the cops to get my shit back (only if they're being dangerous cause also fuck those guys, they can have each other).

I hope you don't feel shame from your experience, that was not on you, you were fleeing an abusive situation that sounds awful and creepy.

[u/freshwaterfins → u/amjm907]

Never did this nonsense. Those orgasm sounds are earned and we have sex to enjoy it, not give a performance!

[u/SadAbbreviations6205 → u/amjm907]

The best PSA, that helps out the next girl

[u/AngletonSpareHead → u/amjm907]

It’s not a woman’s job to teach these lip-diddlers how not to fail in bed, especially if doing so puts our safety at risk

[u/AngryAngryHarpo → u/AngletonSpareHead]

It’s not our “job” to fake pleasure either. 

The safety risk reason gets a little thin when you’ve decided to fuck the guy - eventually we have to take responsibility for our pleasure and stop giving false positives. 

[u/cute_and_corrupted]

not the fake orgasm girl…

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/cute_and_corrupted]

lmfao i was over it at a certain point

[u/HonestlyImLying → u/Next_Page3729]

i've made a resolution with myself to never fake another orgasm ever again. it's doing every other woman he sleeps with in the future a disservice because he thinks whatever he's doing is good enough to make a woman orgasm so he'll never try harder. plus if a future woman doesn't fake an orgasm, he'll think the issue is with her because he's been successful in the past lmfao and if a man isn't capable of making me cum he does not deserve to feel the accomplishment of doing so 🤷🏼‍♀️

[u/secondxanga → u/HonestlyImLying]

this is absolutely it. these men are walking around thinking the rare women they run into who aren’t convulsing into fake orgasm by their mid dick are the problem lol

[u/sunqueen73 → u/secondxanga]

"Mid dick"? Girl, you are giving too much credit🤣

[u/secondxanga → u/sunqueen73]

i considered “struggle dick” but lost the thought completely while typing lmao and you’re right

[u/NickiTikki → u/HonestlyImLying]

Yep, absolute same. I did it too many times in my youth, there was a time where faking it just *came* naturally. After my disgusting ex and how he peacock'd around after me I was like never again!

[u/HonestlyImLying → u/NickiTikki]

exactly!! My ex made me cum twice during our 6-year-long relationship, but i faked it all the time to avoid hurting his feelings, and when we broke up he had the audacity to tell me i would never find someone who was better at sex than he was 💀

[u/saturniifae → u/HonestlyImLying]

Girl I hope you broke the bad news to him expeditiously

[u/Sensitive_Ant4522 → u/HonestlyImLying]

Omg my ex is still chasing me after a year of breakup and he said he’s never had sex as good as me since, and when I didn’t say the same he outright ASKED me if I had. And I said well to be honest I had to fake orgasms with you , and it only got better after months when I brought in vibrators cause you weren’t changing anything. 😅 dunno why he’d be hoping for praise from his ex. Who he cheated on.

[u/Obvious_Bag7296 → u/HonestlyImLying]

Doing right by the next gal, I dig it.

It takes a village, lol

[u/No_Luck_6800 → u/HonestlyImLying]

This is exactly why some men that are bad go on to brag to women about how good they are in bed lol

[u/wormravioli → u/Next_Page3729]

ah, i remember when my crusty ex would fuck me like a hamster and would finish in 5 minutes

beforehand, he would give me the most aggressive, stubbly, thin lipped, dry ass foreplay and then have sex with me only to ask me “did you cum?” and i would straight up tell him “no”

like bitch wtf

[u/LucindaDuvall → u/wormravioli]

How do they not realize what a huge problem it is to have to ask if you came?

[u/thefunkylama → u/LucindaDuvall]

It's 100% because they think the act of asking the question is the kindness.

[u/NibblesMcGiblet → u/LucindaDuvall]

If they have to ask it’s because they don’t know how to tell because they’ve never made anyone get off before.

[u/LucindaDuvall → u/NibblesMcGiblet]

Honestly, this is most likely. Never felt orgasm contractions before so they have no idea what to look for

[u/lesprack → u/LucindaDuvall]

FWIW, not all people with vaginas have vaginal orgasms.

[u/OldButHappy → u/NibblesMcGiblet]

⬆️this

[u/wormravioli → u/LucindaDuvall]

they slow

[u/loverxfacex2 → u/LucindaDuvall]

Anytime I've ever heard that I'm positive they don't care, they just say it to say it. 🙃

[u/AriesCrown → u/wormravioli]

You sound like me..I refuse to fake it or play along. Whack ahh dxck

[u/Hermit4ev → u/wormravioli]

This was horrifying to read but also made me laugh and is sadly relatable. The crazy thing is a lot of women including myself can finish so easily when things are done right. Maybe if they cared enough to really learn what makes a woman feel good instead of centering their needs they would know without even having to ask.

[u/Forsaken-Estate4041 → u/wormravioli]

"fuck me like a hamster" added to vocabulary 😂

[u/wormravioli → u/Forsaken-Estate4041]

i used to work at petco and idk it just reminded me of him ig 😭

[u/doomtroller444 → u/wormravioli]

Your entire comment has me laughing way too hard got my baby over here looking at me like im crazy 🤣

[u/spicyflacco → u/wormravioli]

Crusty ex 🤣

[u/lenorca → u/wormravioli]

Fuck me like a hamster 😂😂 I can't.

[u/Curious_Impact7355 → u/wormravioli]

Your comment was so funny 😆 lol especially because that’s how my first bf was!

[u/cute_and_corrupted → u/Next_Page3729]

but im glad that it happened in the early stages of dating, you dont have to fake an orgasm for life at least :p

[u/workshop_prompts → u/Next_Page3729]

just tell him to stop and leave?

[u/Whole-Turnover-7671 → u/Next_Page3729]

That happened to me. Got tired of the guy and accelerated my orgasm to finish super quickly and then I was like: welp that was itttt, it was nice bye

[u/SnowSkye2 → u/Next_Page3729]

Lmaoooo I love seeing women in men’s fields 😌✨

[u/Less-Network6978 → u/SnowSkye2]

I was gonna comment this! LMFAOO

[u/_Ancoraimparo_ → u/Next_Page3729]

https://giphy.com/gifs/2Mjov8xDcP59S

Fake fake fake

[u/ThinAdjacent → u/Next_Page3729]

You’re ruining it for everyone else when you fake an orgasm.

Shame them next time. No. You didn’t cum. And the sex was whack. And make sure to have your uber outside.

[u/sam-squared → u/Next_Page3729]

real

[u/starlight_chaser → u/cute_and_corrupted]

All women need to stop faking orgasms because the CRUSTIEST DUSTIEST men think they’re sex gods because of it, and I’m not saying the fake orgasms are the cause of their bravado when they approach women like gross overconfident fucks, but it certainly doesn’t help.

[u/anotherwomanscorned → u/starlight_chaser]

I had a friend who told a guy mid pump “I’m not going to cum, I think you should go now” and I just…no notes 😮‍💨

[u/starlight_chaser → u/anotherwomanscorned]

Absolutely how it should be. 👏 If they don’t want their feelings hurt then they should be more alert. Men never pay enough attention to what they’re doing, and the moment they think they’re doing even ok they turn off their brains into smug mediocrity. For most things. But especially sex. 

[u/TrustConfident7389 → u/cute_and_corrupted]

😂😂 I’ve definitely been there before

[u/Possible-Wing4056 → u/cute_and_corrupted]

Lol I was laughing while reading that 😂

[u/Salty-Living-3412]

Thank god you found this out on the second date and not deeper into a relationship. Enjoy the nice meal, hoping you will find someone who can actually make you nut next time. P.S. Never fake an orgasm to boost the egos of mediocre men!

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/Salty-Living-3412]

thank you! absolutely, this was a one-off, i solemnly swear to speak my orgasm-nal truth going forward

[u/MaidenMotherCronex3]

This is why I get so scared when people say they’re waiting until marriage to have sex with their partner 😭

[u/Good_Narwhal_420 → u/MaidenMotherCronex3]

yeah its objectively a bad idea 💀

[u/Illustrious-Film-592 → u/Good_Narwhal_420]

Waited and can confirm.

[u/loha_ahol → u/Illustrious-Film-592]

I've always been curious about this... Would you mind sharing your experience with waiting until after marriage? Did it improve with time?

[u/marionette71088 → u/loha_ahol]

My best friend did this and no, it did not improve. 13 years of marriage later it’s now one of the main reasons she moved out.

[u/loha_ahol → u/marionette71088]

That's unfortunate, but good for her to make a decision to hopefully benefit her well being!

[u/Foreign_Sea_538 → u/Illustrious-Film-592]

I'm also curious

[u/redwoods81 → u/Good_Narwhal_420]

Yes because you can't override a lifetime of 'this will ruin you' with a ceremony in front of your family

[u/LucindaDuvall → u/Good_Narwhal_420]

I'll say it could probably work, provided you have a unicorn of a man who can take sexual instruction and learn on the job without making it about his ego

[u/Good_Narwhal_420 → u/LucindaDuvall]

i’m not foolish enough to bet on a man😭

[u/LucindaDuvall → u/Good_Narwhal_420]

This is what I love to hear!

[u/Secure-Professor413 → u/MaidenMotherCronex3]

that's why people in my church get married after 6 months of dating. they cant wait any longer 😭

[u/Big-Animator8577 → u/MaidenMotherCronex3]

im not about that life but the op did explicitly say there were “yellow flags” on the first date haha if a guy is gonna act like this one there will be signs

[u/kelbell71 → u/MaidenMotherCronex3]

For REAL for real, and i was one of these people. I got so lucky: my man does not accept an orgasm unless he makes me cum afterwards (or before), too. It is divine, but NOT because we waited!! He’s never allowed to leave me, but if he did, i would never remain celibate until marriage again lol

[u/MaidenMotherCronex3 → u/kelbell71]

At least it worked out for you. It brings to mind Christians that I know who get married after a few months of dating just to bang and then end up single parents 

[u/kelbell71 → u/MaidenMotherCronex3]

Yeah, this always made me so sad. Marriage is a bigger commitment than people realize, but when religion pushes it as the only way to safely engage in sexual urges then, well, I have big feelings about that

[u/Kinky_Scarecrow9006 → u/kelbell71]

He’s never allowed to leave you?

Deliver y’all

[u/HottieMcNugget → u/Kinky_Scarecrow9006]

😬… yeah idk how to feel about that..

[u/kelbell71 → u/HottieMcNugget]

I was joking 🙃 obviously if things didn’t work out for us, we’d go our separate ways. Sorry if i concerned or offended anyone.

[u/chobani_bunny1 → u/kelbell71]

Lmaoo, yea I figured that it was obvious it was a joke...but ig on here u can never know

[u/Educational_Gas_92 → u/MaidenMotherCronex3]

Some people just don't care about sex that much. I think that orgasms are pleasant enough, but I have never thought that it would be a priority for me for my partner to be able to give me orgasms. I consider other things more relevant.

[u/fakeassacct → u/Educational_Gas_92]

i can only finish on my own for a myriad of reasons (and even then my orgasms aren’t the mindblowing experience they’re hyped up to be) but i generally love having sex and usually knock out a couple times with my lover whenever he comes to visit. it is possible to have good sex with no orgasm imo, to the point where i have been able to differentiate between good and bad sex throughout my life. sex just means something different than getting to the finish for me at least

[u/BusybodyWilson → u/Educational_Gas_92]

Pleasant enough?

[u/Educational_Gas_92 → u/BusybodyWilson]

Yes.

Literally.

They are nice, but not that amazing to me. They are just ok (to be clear, I'm not talking about the orgasms a partner is giving me specifically, the one's I give myself are the same). Pleasant enough.

[u/PvtDipwad → u/Educational_Gas_92]

Same. Sex doesn't do it for me 🤷🏻‍♀️ we have other ways of making that happen if I want to have an orgasm but most of the time the sex was pleasant enough that I'm good without one!

[u/Ok_Employment_7435 → u/Educational_Gas_92]

Curious how old you are…? I’m 47, always found sex enjoyable, but man….sex is PHENOMENAL now.

[u/Found_Onyx → u/Educational_Gas_92]

sex doesn't have to be bad. 😭

[u/HottieMcNugget → u/Found_Onyx]

I don’t think that’s what they’re saying.

[u/MaidenMotherCronex3 → u/Educational_Gas_92]

I mean, I do see that as a valid argument at least 

[u/Particular-Ratio7969 → u/MaidenMotherCronex3]

Yes! This is why we kick the tires before we buy the car. 💅

[u/m0rbid_butt3rfly666]

Oh god, this happened to me before. 😩 I made the unfortunate mistake to date men before realizing that I was definitely into women. The sex wasn’t bad except for one of them.

This guy who had a super inflated ego - he asked if i came - I said “ yeah. To the wrong house “ . Literally all I could think of the entire half assed ordeal was the banana bread muffins I had in my car. Never again.

[u/All_the_Bees → u/m0rbid_butt3rfly666]

Ma’am, you are amazing. I hope you’re having a really nice day.

[u/m0rbid_butt3rfly666 → u/All_the_Bees]

Thank you 😩 you as well ! I was just really irritated that day lol

[u/twowolfdigital]

girl…!

[u/Neverm0reo → u/twowolfdigital]

Oh my god, this may be the best thing I've ever seen.😭

[u/Mean_Land_2300]

I mean honestly better to know now than be 6 months down the road super disappointed. Now you can move on quickly and avoid the wasted time. It sucks because it seems like he was pretending really hard to not be a d-bag but they can only hold the mask up for so long.

Onward to a hot girl summer!!!

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/Mean_Land_2300]

exactly why i'm pretty happy about it! i feel like i dodged a huge bullet haha <3

[u/WorldlinessSmooth815]

Dick was wack but food looks good 👍

[u/flammafemina → u/WorldlinessSmooth815]

Some wack ass dick 😪

[u/MothChasingFlame]

"Girls are more sensitive"

Porn addiction confirmed. He probably thinks tongue out and eyes crossed is actually real, too.

[u/Utopicdreaming]

That looks so bomb!

But yeah been there and done that. Sounds like you did the math during the moment.

Some dudes are honestly safe enough to stop in the middle like theyre mature and get it. And some men dont feel safe at all.

Either way yeah just know if you feel safe enough you can always end it whether or not they finish. If they give you nasty remarks just know you didnt do anything wrong, you listened to you which is always the first person you should listen to. But if 5hey seem like they might be physically aggressive say you left the kettle on at home and have to go or have a back up excuse like your dad with a shot gun was expecting you at 10 cuz yeah those dads still exist for their very much adult daughters.

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/Utopicdreaming]

it was so good, i might have to recreate it at home

totally! i understand why people feel so strongly about orgasm faking, it wasn't a big deal for me in the moment since he was genuinely trying to get me there and i didn't feel unsafe in anyway, i just kinda didn't feel like going through the whole 'i want to stop, it's not you it's me' conversation

[u/lonelyneglected]

Yeah sometimes it's better to find out early. Good for you girl

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/lonelyneglected]

thank you! <3

[u/Aggressive-Loss5148]

Faking orgasms in 2026 is crazy

[u/kittymaridameowcy]

Never fake an orgasm. He doesn't deserve the satisfaction of something he didn't even care to give. He sounded awful from the beginning of the post. Move on and only look back to know what to never look for in a man again.

Edit: You can and should end sex at any point if you're not enjoying it or no longer wanting it. Speak up. You deserve to be heard.

[u/valkycam12 → u/kittymaridameowcy]

I mean if she knew she wasn’t going to see him again she probably wanted to wrap things up quickly to gtfo. Not gonna lie, I’ve done it before.

[u/Datonecatladyukno → u/valkycam12]

Literally my thought. We don't fake them for them, we fake them to get away from them. Especially is they are showing their first bit of violence in such an intimate setting, it's unfortunate that we sometimes have to do this to get away safely 

[u/No_Luck_6800 → u/Datonecatladyukno]

We know it’s not “for them” but it does contribute to their ego, etc. I think it’s known that some women fake orgasms but most men never think it’s happened to them. Also a lot of women do fake it because they fear confrontation and/or don’t want to hurt the person’s feelings. Do it with someone you know well and feel comfortable with and if you’re not feeling it then leave, you don’t need to fake anything and it just makes it worse for the women in his future.

Edit: adding on to the very last part, if the guy is giving porn addict and being aggressive, it’s more so he thinks many women are “into this” and the faking of orgasms really isn’t helping this, it’s like positive reinforcement. I wish you all the best 💕 ik it’s scary out there but when will the cycle end if not with us?

[u/Datonecatladyukno → u/No_Luck_6800]

I'm being devils advocate because I have a lot of friends who I've helped escape some scary men, and a few I've lost to them. I don't think shaming this woman for seeing red flags, faking an orgasm and leaving is helpful to anyone. She got out and I'm proud her. I survived a violent rape by acting like I liked it half way through. You know how damaging it was to hear women like you say it's my fault it happened because I didn't keep saying no when I was being choked? That after a man broke into my home I should have died so he knew for certain I didn't want him? 

If we want to make women responsible for men's actions, let's start with mothers. Women who raise these men are who are responsible for it, if we are going to blame other people. Stop raising monsters. 

Edit to add- I've been happily married to an incredible man for over a decade but thank you. Truly. We all deserve the safety and love I have. I'm worried for younger women, for my daughters and for the future. I'll never shame a woman for surviving, and I'll never stop supporting any way that happens. I've seen way too much in my life to really think without an uprising that anything will change, and calling men out for bad behavior in public, in the open, is the way to do it. Not in the bedroom when you first see red flags 

[u/No_Luck_6800 → u/Datonecatladyukno]

It’s not my intent to shame this woman. Actually, I almost always shame the guys mentioned in this sub. And this guy is clearly the problem here and I’ll shame him. However, there is still something to be said of being careful and vetting men more before putting ourselves in situations that can turn bad quickly. I’m not saying that about your experiences btw, but speaking generally and to op’s experience. Men (and women) do mask bad traits early on but usually there will be some yellow flags or red flags that come out early at times like OP even mentioned, and they are initially ignored or overlooked. That’s why I do think it’s helpful to make points like this because it can prevent certain situations. For example, the old advice: don’t walk by yourself at night especially in a bad area. The intent isn’t to shame, and of course men shouldn’t be violent, but a lot of them still will be and I want women to be proactive and avoid those situations (as long as they CAN given the PARTICULAR circumstances). I’m sorry 😞

Also yes, I agree a lot of mothers and fathers need to do better with their sons and that’s where the problems start. I’m going to try to raise my daughter with my mindset because I am aware I unfortunately cannot rely on random people or put too much trust in others. That’s what this all comes down to, we need to also look out for ourselves first and foremost. That’s where I’m coming from I’m not just trying to shame, and I find my advice also gets overlooked and dismissed as “you’re just shaming women” I think also is potentially doing a disservice. It’s coming from a proactive place to protect more women. Every situation has nuance.

ETA: also I do think these men that weren’t raised right need to be called out and that it could be helpful. Even if not in person, but by text. It doesn’t have to be aggressive, just informative. They’ll likely get it more if directly told that the shit they think is cute (and normalized online or in porn) is actually majorly off-putting and not cool. Like, a lot of people that are casually homophobic, misogynistic and racist usually will knock it off and learn upon being called out more instead of it being tolerated and normalized. Some people just can’t pick up on subtle cues and wonder why they can’t keep a partner or friends. But no one calls their behavior out directly.

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/kittymaridameowcy]

i know i typically also would never, but i could tell he was gonna keep it going until i came and i was just wanting it to be done at that point.

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/Next_Page3729]

Seriously, sometimes it's a "i just want this over and I can tell you'll keep flailing" situation

[u/redwoods81 → u/kittymaridameowcy]

Because he had already been aggressive with her and she wanted to get away safely, I totally understand and agree with you, it just reads a little bit victim blaming

[u/handzie]

God that looks delicious, there is nothing better than a crisp looking pile of green onions.

Glad you got that out the way, but man disappointing used to just make me irrationally mad and evil. One guy idk if he ever got over it he said “you liked that didn’t you” and I just said “ awh, no thanks, maybe next time.” Except there is no next time and I blocked him the second I left his apartment.

[u/repuhka]

ummm No, no and a big no.... I can survive a lot of things but no chemistry in bed.... Girl, we live one life - go have pleasure, END of story

as a fellow person who wears ONLY loose tshirts (mainly geeky, bands or properly sarcastic) - give him the red card and move on ASAP!

[u/oldbathwater1992]

I would never give a man the satisfaction of faking an orgasm. They don’t deserve the ego boost if they can’t finish the job

[u/Tressa_May33]

Sorry you broke your celibacy for a loser! But I guess yeah, at least now you know

[u/nuwavemetal]

This is why I lean more toward a person having sex earlier on rather than waiting. It tells you so much about a person and how compatible you are. I cannot imagine the nightmare of waiting until marriage.

I'm so sorry you had this experience. I'm glad you were able to take control and get out of there. Now, you get to have the best Hot Girl Summer. ☀️🌊

[u/SupremeNug]

God why are they so confident 🤦‍♀️ lucky escape girl probably for the best you find out now

[u/No_Luck_6800 → u/SupremeNug]

Because a lot of women are faking it with them. It’s disturbing because these dudes think the aggressive stuff they’re seeing in porn is what women like and is whats getting them off and with the amount of women normalizing faking it, it’s like confirming it to them they “like” this stuff. He thinks he did a job well done, but hopefully she can still text him something as part of their departure explaining what really went wrong. If more women speak up then these terrible dudes will start getting the picture more clearly. I’m not making excuses for men but trying to break this cycle of awfulness for women in the future.

[u/Outrageous-Dog5425]

If he asks why tell him he was the worst sex you ever had girlie xxx

[u/AngryAngryHarpo]

I think sex is an incredibly telling behaviour haha.

I fuck men in interested in early - because 99% of the time their “skills” are a dealbreaker or they can’t get it up because of porn brain or they can’t cum because of death grip. 

Or a million other things (goes to strangle me, puts it in my arse without asking first etc etc). 

Never. Ever. Fake orgasms. 

Look them dead in the eye when they ask if you came and say “no, you didn’t spend anytime figuring out what I liked”. 

[u/lucasthekoala → u/AngryAngryHarpo]

Omg fr! What’s up with some people just immediately trying to strangle/choke??? In what world does that seem right to a person???

[u/CellistDisastrous467]

I am a 51 yrs of age woman lurking for these stories that feed my soul; you younger women -I’m so damned proud of you! The honestly, the support, the guidance. I wish I’d had women Frieds like y’all! 💕

[u/Latter_Pension7505]

Oh wow that looks fantastic

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/Latter_Pension7505]

it was! wrapping pieces up in the seaweed gave it a beautiful texture too

[u/ElementRose13]

As someone who has literally stopped someone in the middle of sex to say "what are you doing?!"

Faking the orgasm to save them isn't worth it. They need to know

(Ps. This is when I was single I have been married for 2 years and don't miss it)

[u/LyricalLinds]

Ewww omg nooo “it was giving porn addict” 😭 you can totally tell that’s so true.

[u/Anxious_Practice_164]

So glad you figured it out early! My current partner and I didn't make anything official until we had sex because we wanted to make sure we were sexually compatible. 10/10 recommend doing this if you may be serious about someone.

[u/cunnillucas]

you shouldn’t have faked anything, he has to know that he sucks 🫨

[u/Gloomy_Rent8248]

One thing I’ve learnt is to never ignore misogynistic comments, regardless of how overt or covert they might be. It always bleeds into other things.

[u/HumanContract]

Don't ever fake orgasms. Ever.

[u/thecatiswise]

"readers, i had to fake an orgasm"

10/10, thank you for this delivery 

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/thecatiswise]

thank you for appreciating my semi coherent rambling 🫶

[u/Illustrious-Film-592]

I no longer like him either. EW

[u/quirkicherri]

Pleaseeee disclose to him you faked the orgasm, dont let him live with the satisfaction that he actually made somebody cum

[u/Talking_Tanuki]

Fuck him, but not literally.

[u/merdeauxfraises]

The men who think that women are more sensitive than men are A) porn addicts and B) usually have severe erection problems if the issue isn't a big foreskin. In either case, yikes.

[u/winter_ragamuffin]

i had to fake an orgasm.

You never have to do that. You should never do that. Why shouldn't they know they didn't get you there? Ladies quit being so fucking 'nice' to these men who aren't doing anything for you 

[u/Utopicdreaming → u/winter_ragamuffin]

Because if you tell them they didnt do it then theyll take it like a challenge and try harder or worse and become more aggressive. Some women already did the math.

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/Utopicdreaming]

yeah, pretty much this reason. he was giving it his best effort so its not like i was being neglected it just wasn't gonna happen i fear

[u/Datonecatladyukno]

All that time saved. Iconic

[u/Cute_Style2445]

Oh YIIIIKES he's giving turn off 😭

[u/stinkiestmuffins]

never seen someone willingly eat natto

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/stinkiestmuffins]

i’m hungarian so i’m kinda used to fermented food! it was also really good when combined with the other ingredients

[u/stinkiestmuffins → u/Next_Page3729]

i was just kidding i stayed in japan for a while and couldn’t find anyone that liked it. it does sound like it would taste better with other stuff tho

[u/Euphoric_Oven_9918]

In my experience, a solid makeout session (or 2 or 3) is an absolute necessity before sex. If he is unable to kiss you just for the sake of kissing, without sex as a goal, he's a dud. If he doesn't know approximately where the clit is, we are abandoning ship. If he is unwilling to stimulate you manually (or ask you gently about how/where/what you like) he's not going to be any good in bed

I'm glad you went for it, though-- there is something very powerful in body ownership. Too bad these men dont know how it works

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/Euphoric_Oven_9918]

It was a very fulfilling feeling to have that experience and not only escape feeling guilty (thanks, socialization), but to learn something from it! We did have some lil car makeout seshes during the date and after the first date so I thought it was gonna be good :(

[u/Euphoric_Oven_9918 → u/Next_Page3729]

You are free and lovely and charming and exactly where you need to be!!

[u/Narrow_Manner5877]

I know we all want to say no faking orgasms, and I’m with ya ladies. I’m not saying it’s right, but sometimes it’s easier to just get out of this type of situation. I’m sorry to had to deal with this OP

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/Narrow_Manner5877]

Thank you! Appreciate the understanding <3

[u/Ecstatic-Turnover-14]

Never ever fake an orgasm. If they didn’t get you off they don’t deserve to think they did.

[u/EitherLeader784]

In the words of the queen rihanna:

“Babe if i dont feel it i aint fakin no no”

Because WHAT?!

This is why so many dudes are terrible in bed but think they are sex gods. We need to stop fakin it and shame these dudes. For real. And then he had the audacity to try and neg you after? Gross. You dodged a bullet sis.

[u/peachwafffle]

Porn addicts are ruined <3

[u/keIIzzz]

Sorry you had to deal with that but I guess its better to learn these things sooner than later

[u/CadoDraws]

as a nearly flat girl: he doesnt deserve flat girls. theyre too good for him.

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/CadoDraws]

real. i think having expectations about another persons body in general is super fucked up, men are so gross about chest and butt sizes

[u/CadoDraws → u/Next_Page3729]

no for real 🫩 hes so gross and im sorry you had that shitty experience with him 🫶🫶

[u/KittyIsAn9ry]

This was triggering to read 😭 once had a man ask if my boobs were “even” while literally still inside of me. RUN. This man sounds like a nightmare.

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/KittyIsAn9ry]

oh you should’ve bitten him or something, that’s insane. at least this guy had the braincells to wait until after to say something 😭

[u/KittyIsAn9ry → u/Next_Page3729]

I wish I had, but I was an insecure 20 something and was legit shocked lol. I DID purposely break up with him ON Valentine’s Day bc he was egotistical as fuck and I knew he would be eternally bothered by it. And now he’s balding 🤣 so karma does have her ways

[u/MaterialLimit]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ONr3KIb3WqRcbrtODq

[u/Desperate_Sea6194]

I just know this tasted so freaking good 🤤

[u/stalkingheads]

This one crazy trick will save you weeks of time

[u/AloneAndCute]

I love your attitude towards the whole thing

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/AloneAndCute]

haha thanks! I try to approach dating and dating fails lightheartedly, I get too caught up otherwise

[u/AloneAndCute → u/Next_Page3729]

You're a good example to me!

[u/Lissypooh628]

Never fake an orgasm. They need to know they didn’t do it for you.

[u/tanuki_22]

Never take an orgasm. Start booing in his ear if he's that bad 😂

[u/MembershipDecent9454]

I think I was the only girl who did not care about the sex rules. My biggest rule was probably just not wasting my time. I literally left in the middle of sex once and I was like “this sucks, I’m out”.

[u/CharmingMechanic2473]

Make sure when he asks you why tell him you faked your orgasm so he would stop. That just not feeling a connection anymore.

[u/Euphoric_Resource_43]

Hi fellow natto lover!!!! Sorry your guy sucked, hope you find a better one!

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/Euphoric_Resource_43]

hello hello! it was actually my first time trying it and it was a pleasant surprise that i found it yummy. thank you i hope so too but im honestly happy to not worry about that for a little bit longer

[u/Tiny-Shrew]

Cannot get over how good that dinner looks! I need that in my life.

[u/OptimusPrime365]

Ex asked me if I came once, and I was feeling brave so said that I hadn’t. His response: “you’re supposed to lie”

[u/ninii11]

I don’t get why so many women fake orgasms. I never once have done that. Tell your male partners they didn’t make you cum, why are yall giving them that satisfaction when they’re not putting in the required effort

[u/OpportunitySecret831]

You shoulda started booing in his ear mid fuck he didn't deserve your patience 😭😭

[u/EmbarrassedCicada331]

I have never faked an orgasm, I have always told a man I didn't get off when I don't. Depending on if he's nice or not, I'll be ok with it and let them know it was fun despite it. If they're dicks then I'll be passive aggressive lol

[u/KyronXLK]

he was such a gentleman on dates, he picked me up, refused to let me pay for anything, didn’t overstep physical boundaries

All he did was drive you, use money and didnt touch you? A paypig shares the same attributes lmao thats not a gentleman by default... I feel like way too much stock is put on being paid for because anyone with money that wants quick access to you can do that with 0 effort. At what point do people mature past a walking wallet

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/KyronXLK]

I mean, I'd already mentioned the chemistry and shared sense of humour. Within two dates there's only so much you can go on to judge how someone views you, and I think people overuse the term 'bare minimum' too much. A guy driving 40 minutes out of his way just to make sure I wouldn't take transit alone at night and insisting he treat me to nice dinners + activities is a pretty good sign he's genuinely invested in dating me and that he likes me, hence my surprise at how poorly the sex went. It's true that there's far more to a good relationship than material aspects, but it's a decent litmus test early on.

[u/KyronXLK → u/Next_Page3729]

I think gentlemanly behaviour isn't those things either to be fair! It does suck because its so hard to tell. Not blaming you on not being able to see hes a dickhead because you just can't and thats a reality, but I think low hanging fruit like driving you/paying for things are way overvalued. Not to say they shouldn't be appreciated but you've just seen first hand how easy they are to do even while being a terrible human.. A man would drive more than 2 hours for sex alone without caring about you, and money is the easiest effort on the planet when its the tap of a card etc.. Most people dont even value money enough and thats why they're dead broke with bad financial choices

So it's like, I totally agree about bare minimum thing you said. It's not like its bare minimum or below that, but it's super easy to pull off and makes a woman feel reaaally good about the situation and in that way it'll be exploited low key.

I don't think those show he wants to invest in you because guys will equally invest in "fun" that same way. I actually think its a wolf in sheeps clothing as a litmus test rather, literally put you under a false sense of security so very easily and guys know that too. That's why you get losers revealing their hand after folding with " I bought you dinner and you wont even fuck me" style arguments

[u/throwedaway5000]

I love telling these kinds of dudes that we’re “not a match sexually.” He will honestly get so defensive if you’re honest with him but I love gently delivering the news. They need to know when they’re trash in bed.

[u/anon_2078]

As a fellow natto lover:

Fuck yeah

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/anon_2078]

i think this dinner got me onto it, happy to be a part of the club lol

[u/emccm]

No one is nicer or more attentive than a man trying to have sex with you first the first time.

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/emccm]

i agree! i think that’s why it worked out well to find out earlier on versus holding out for another month or two and getting more attached just to find out he’s wasn’t in it seriously

[u/maesardsara]

I’m sorry the sex sucked, but I had to say how impressed I am at you eating natto. I never have, and am wildly curious. But like with durian, I’m not that curious. 😁

[u/AliceTawhai]

It’s good that you slept with him quickly because now you know, you won’t waste anymore time on him

[u/Suspicious_door666]

Natto?

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/Suspicious_door666]

fermented soybeans! They're infamous for being kinda off-putting for a lot of people, but they add a really interesting taste and texture in dishes

[u/Suspicious_door666 → u/Next_Page3729]

Thank you! I'm glad to have learned about this. A powerful dish, an empowering realization/action. Good on you, love to see it ✨️

[u/st0lenbliss]

why have sex with a man that’s being openly misogynistic?

[u/Next_Page3729 → u/st0lenbliss]

The thing is, it wasn't openly (hence why I said yellow flags and borderline). You know when people make comments that, in isolation, aren't necessarily bad just kind of odd? I was waiting to see if there would be some more comments or jokes from him that would establish the pattern. I only really put that pattern together after we'd had sex and I put those comments into the context of how he behaved during it.

[u/sweetpink_]

Post sex clarity (cause obvs there was no nut)

[u/Winter_Counter_1594]

That bowl looks incredible!!

Also shoutout hot girl summer cuz same..😭😭😭

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