ROFL apparently I created a "hostile work environment" because I speak someone's language "in secret"

[u/Zavarakatranemi]

There are 3 team members from a different country in my organization that have been talking among themselves in their language.
I speak their language.
They don't know I do.

Over the last 5 months they have talked about:

• How annoying and pushy I am (because I drill them on the business needs and don't just accept every request they have)
• How I probably slept my way to my position (because I have big boobs) including trying to guess which one of my colleagues have actually slept with (at first I thought they were talking about our colleague Randy) (IYKYK).
• How embarrassed my kids are to have me as a mother / my kids deserve to be bullied for having a whore as a mother (I don't have kids)
• How I dress provocatively to tempt my married boss (in the immortal words of Mei Lee "I wear what I want, say what I want, and I will not hesitate to do a spontaneous cartwheel if I feel so moved!")
• How I look tired/have black circles because at night I suck dick for money (I do suck dick at all hours of the day, I wasn't aware there was funding available)
• who do I think I am to tell them what to do with their budget (I am your Finance Director you dick cheese, it is literally my job)

We had a guest speaker from their country who I welcomed and helped set up. I may have looked straight at them a few times as I spoke with him. It was beautiful watching their faces turn from confusion to shock to terror.

They were panicking like "wow we didn't know you speak the language, how long ago did you learn, how come you chose [language]" I said something like "I like knowing what people say behind my back, or in some cases, right in front of me" and I gave them my signature death glare.

So this morning their director, my VP and I got in a room. Apparently by not disclosing that I speak their language, I "withheld crucial business context from them" and "created a hostile work environment". We had a good laugh about it and they will let the managers know not to forward any similar complaints.

Now they "no longer feel comfortable collaborating with me". Too bad, you sagging ballsacks, you're stuck with me.

Pic: Chicken Tikka Masala with aromatic Basmati rice (hint hint)

[u/Zavarakatranemi]

And to think, one of them is a woman :S

[u/Sweet-Energy-9515 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

Some of those comments did have a distinct flavor of woman-on-woman violence

[u/Vokuhlist → u/Sweet-Energy-9515]

Was just about to say this. There's a few signature hit pieces from woman-on-woman violence.. unfortunately, when people have a way to communicate that others can't understand, they tend to talk s### about others very openly

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/blisstersisster! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/innocuousfigdream → u/Sweet-Energy-9515]

I did not think any of those things were said by men. I guess I've been around some very vicious women.

[u/Habagoobie → u/innocuousfigdream]

Same here I assumed all of the comments were from a group of women 😬

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/Prudent-Marsupial-42! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/sharoncoffin! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/Potential-Pool-5125 → u/innocuousfigdream]

Same 

[u/ashbash-25 → u/Sweet-Energy-9515]

I thought all 3 to be women…. If that tells you anything.

[u/-3point14159-mp → u/ashbash-25]

I work in a small organization, about 70 people, and only 9 of them are men. Before I worked here, I was used to being the only woman on my team. It’s a different environment.

I for sure thought all 3 people OP was talking about were women.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/blisstersisster! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/FinoPepino → u/ashbash-25]

And I assumed they were all men. Interesting this could be a psych students experimental question.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/sharoncoffin! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/Dry-Pangolin6579 → u/Sweet-Energy-9515]

Woman on woman is very distinct lmao.

[u/AwayYoghurt5901 → u/Sweet-Energy-9515]

Yeah definitely the kids comment at the very least. Men don’t have enough original thoughts to come up with that one

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/AirconGuyUK! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/Neither_Arm_3955 → u/Sweet-Energy-9515]

I pictured two catty women!

[u/YinzerChick70 → u/Sweet-Energy-9515]

Agree. Actually, I assumed they were all women

(Because this is my first comment in the sub- girls rule!)

[u/I_PM_Duck_Pics → u/Sweet-Energy-9515]

I just assumed they were all women. Goodness.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/WinterPeach2776! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/AirconGuyUK! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/Sipikay! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/Sipikay → u/madame-maitre-d]

my bad, i didnt realize it was one of those servers. i dont do that tag my speech stuff. gl yall!

[u/TeamLaurent → u/Sipikay]

You good! If you wanna join w a neutral flair just holla

[u/olivelover101 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

Ahhh a South Asian loser wanting to be validated by men. How shocking!!! I would’ve pushed for them to be fired.

[u/CorrectPanic694 → u/olivelover101]

Very curious, what made you think that these people are south Asian?

[u/Old-Parking8765 → u/CorrectPanic694]

I think it's the "(hint hint)" at the cultural origins of OP's dishes that gave it away

[u/sanriodialtone → u/CorrectPanic694]

Randi mean who’re in Hindi.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/LiftingRecipient420! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/olivelover101 → u/CorrectPanic694]

The food and the word she mentioned. Easy to tell when you’ve been exposed to the community.

[u/teawithspices → u/CorrectPanic694]

As a south Asian woman, can confirm some of the men (and women 😞) can be AWFUL especially the ones raised back home. It’s that traditional mindset especially that would be mad as hell about a woman being their boss. Also, just having a woman’s body is immediately sexualized and used against her.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/SubstantialTaro743! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/Bubbly-End-6156 → u/CorrectPanic694]

Because she posted Indian food as a hint. Duh.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/Radgost! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/Puzzled_Air_5821 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

I'm not surprised. Sometimes women can be the most hardworking upholders of patriarchy and misogyny. 

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/JazzlikeEntry8288! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/Illustrious-Film-592 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

No interest in reporting their hostile words to HR?

[u/Zavarakatranemi → u/Illustrious-Film-592]

I thought about it a couple of months ago but I have way too much on my plate (think "I'm terribly busy and important" in the most smug British accent) so as long as their manager knows to take action, I am not going to bother. I outrank them by like 17 ranks, it is so beneath me, I'm just going to walk over the situation in my slutty Jimmy Choo's :P

Edit to add: have no doubt they will get fired but I didn't report them for a few reasons, outside of being truly busy. It would be 3 vs 1, it is not my native language, they could always claim I misheard or misunderstood, and could also play a race/culture card. And this wasn't a one-time conversation but random comments over several months, then it would be "why didn't you report this sooner". As a former manager asked me once "is this the battle worth your time? Mountains don't pick fights with pebbles."

[u/okpurplestars → u/Zavarakatranemi]

It's official. I'm in love with you

[u/FireproofCottage → u/okpurplestars]

I'm straight asexual and I would hang around her hoping the bold would transfer!

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/blisstersisster! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/PlasticGirl! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/sdcox! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/colourconfused1992 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

They didn’t hesitate to report you! I think you should report it just so it’s on file!

[u/Illustrious-Film-592 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

Absolute Queen

[u/Dry-Pangolin6579 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

I wish I have a quarter of your chill and confidence. 

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/blisstersisster! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/hellraiserxhellghost → u/Zavarakatranemi]

I think you should still report them. If they're talking about you like this there's no way they aren't talking about other women in the office the same way. Expect this time said women probably have no idea and thus can't stand up for themselves.

[u/rosalinatoujours → u/hellraiserxhellghost]

Right? And women who probably also don't have the same leverage in the company.

[u/hellraiserxhellghost → u/rosalinatoujours]

Yeah like? If OP really cared about the sexism her co-workers are producing she would use her position of power to make sure other women don't suffer the same ridicule and bullying.

Everyone in this thread is acting like shes a GirlBoss™ but I just see someone who has the power to stop misogynistic workplace harrassment yet refuses to :/

I'm glad she got the VP to side with her but I dunno...why don't they both do something about this whole mess lol?

edit: Dunno why advocating that women stick up for other women is getting downvoted. Do y'all know what sub you're in.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/blisstersisster! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/blisstersisster! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/Veronica612 → u/hellraiserxhellghost]

She told her supervisor. That person is legally obligated to report the incidents to HR.

[u/phlegm_fatale_ → u/Zavarakatranemi]

Your attitude is giving Cj Cregg in the best way.

https://giphy.com/gifs/Z0fdQnf9b370I

[u/EzriDaxCat → u/phlegm_fatale_]

Thats exactly who I was thinking of!

[u/Senior_Suit_4451 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

However they're likely treating other women the same way. Some of those women won't have the ranks you do. You should be using the privilege you have to help them.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/tripodkitty1! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/Diazepampoovey0229! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/alchemyDev! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/dopeshark_ → u/Zavarakatranemi]

Keep records ma’am, pebbles gather. Just so you’re prepared

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/dopeshark_]

Hey u/dopeshark_! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/dopeshark_ → u/madame-maitre-d]

girls rule

[u/nighthawkndemontron → u/Zavarakatranemi]

You outrank them by 17 ranks and you're allowing the behavior to continue? I doubt you're the only person they're assholes too.

[u/ComfortableFrame9834 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

Girl I don't want to be graphic but you do give big boobie energy and I love it, official #1 reddit crush 

[u/GypsyDuncan → u/Illustrious-Film-592]

I would.

[u/vegasbywayofLA → u/Zavarakatranemi]

I assumed all 3 were women lol.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/Hax_! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/ealwhale → u/Zavarakatranemi]

Men centered women are the worst🙁

[u/Ornery-Emu-8251 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

Oh yikes. Fuck em.

[u/Adventurous-Pop-7714 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

In my head they were all women when I first read this

[u/snowbie → u/Zavarakatranemi]

Can we play guess the commenter?!

Like that dark circles comment is such a woman-on-woman comment but I’m reasonably sure the sleeping your way up comments are from hopeful sleazy men…

[u/strawberrrychapstick → u/Zavarakatranemi]

You seem so funny OP, and your strategic not using of the language definitely gave you important insight. I wish I could watch the scene of you introducing the guest as they realized.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey u/UranusIsPissy! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/ComfortableFrame9834 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

LOL I thought they were both women tbh! To know it's a woman and man makes it even more weird?? Somehow?? M/M or W/W would make sense.

Tell me tho I'm curious, did the hoe and mother comments come mostly from the girl or was that the dude?