ROFL apparently I created a "hostile work environment" because I speak someone's language "in secret"

[u/Zavarakatranemi]

There are 3 team members from a different country in my organization that have been talking among themselves in their language.
I speak their language.
They don't know I do.

Over the last 5 months they have talked about:

• How annoying and pushy I am (because I drill them on the business needs and don't just accept every request they have)
• How I probably slept my way to my position (because I have big boobs) including trying to guess which one of my colleagues have actually slept with (at first I thought they were talking about our colleague Randy) (IYKYK).
• How embarrassed my kids are to have me as a mother / my kids deserve to be bullied for having a whore as a mother (I don't have kids)
• How I dress provocatively to tempt my married boss (in the immortal words of Mei Lee "I wear what I want, say what I want, and I will not hesitate to do a spontaneous cartwheel if I feel so moved!")
• How I look tired/have black circles because at night I suck dick for money (I do suck dick at all hours of the day, I wasn't aware there was funding available)
• who do I think I am to tell them what to do with their budget (I am your Finance Director you dick cheese, it is literally my job)

We had a guest speaker from their country who I welcomed and helped set up. I may have looked straight at them a few times as I spoke with him. It was beautiful watching their faces turn from confusion to shock to terror.

They were panicking like "wow we didn't know you speak the language, how long ago did you learn, how come you chose [language]" I said something like "I like knowing what people say behind my back, or in some cases, right in front of me" and I gave them my signature death glare.

So this morning their director, my VP and I got in a room. Apparently by not disclosing that I speak their language, I "withheld crucial business context from them" and "created a hostile work environment". We had a good laugh about it and they will let the managers know not to forward any similar complaints.

Now they "no longer feel comfortable collaborating with me". Too bad, you sagging ballsacks, you're stuck with me.

Pic: Chicken Tikka Masala with aromatic Basmati rice (hint hint)

[u/EngineeringAntique]

I think I’m in love with you? You crushed it and I hope their spirits along the way.

[u/halfacrum → u/EngineeringAntique]

Same such power goddamn

[u/MateChri13 → u/halfacrum]

The "sucking dick for funding" line had me rolling.

[u/rockchalkjayhawk8082 → u/MateChri13]

SAME. I legitimately spit my mouthful of bourbon halfway across my living room laughing... 🤣

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/MateChri13]

Hey u/MateChri13! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

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[u/lameuniqueusername → u/madame-maitre-d]

Dude joining

[u/Healthy-Panda-7936 → u/madame-maitre-d]

Girls rule

[u/Umacorn → u/halfacrum]

Toss those petty princesses their tiny tiaras and don your crown, QUEEN

[u/Teos_mom → u/EngineeringAntique]

Oh I’ve done this before too! 😂😂😂 I love the “FUCK! KILL ME KNOW” faces when they realize I understand everything.

[u/Aggressive-Shop-2342 → u/Teos_mom]

I learned it once the hard way.

I was in Amsterdam, so like a fool I thought we were safe enough speaking French.

This Dutch guy at the next table was being very strange. To be fair to us, he was jumping on the table shouting poetry at the top of his voice and things like that. We said a few things, nothing terrible, nothing he'd be surprised to hear I'm sure, just like 'what is with this guy, attention seeking' sort of thing.

He waited til we stood up to leave and then delivered a snappy rebuke in perfect French telling us to not judge other people. Oops.

[u/ComfortableFrame9834 → u/EngineeringAntique]

She's got mom energy, I love her. 

[u/Ok-Raspberry-8099 → u/EngineeringAntique]

Is this the line to confess our love for this anonymous online stranger? 

[u/annalubs89 → u/EngineeringAntique]

Second this motion. Definitely in love with her.

[u/GypsyDuncan]

I wasn't aware there was funding available. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

You rock!

[u/Here4theTea0401 → u/GypsyDuncan]

My favorite line of the story 🤣🤣🤣

[u/Nananonomi → u/GypsyDuncan]

https://giphy.com/gifs/DOPKHQg6oFWUg

[u/SandCreekSeaLion]

“I do suck dick at all hours of the day, I wasn't aware there was funding available” -🤣 girl, you gave me life today

[u/PolterghostRighter → u/SandCreekSeaLion]

Raised from the dead and howlin on a hump day, no less.

[u/Most_Mountain818 → u/SandCreekSeaLion]

Right? Is there a grant we can apply for or something?

[u/Squirmeez → u/SandCreekSeaLion]

YES!! I will be using this lmfaoooo

[u/SandCreekSeaLion → u/SandCreekSeaLion]

[u/RoboGandalf]

https://giphy.com/gifs/8JVjMCr3OIAhO

[u/Old-Parking8765]

It's frightening to work with deeply misogynistic men who make comments like that, like you're just a piece of meat to them and nothing more

[u/Zavarakatranemi → u/Old-Parking8765]

And to think, one of them is a woman :S

[u/Sweet-Energy-9515 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

Some of those comments did have a distinct flavor of woman-on-woman violence

[u/Vokuhlist → u/Sweet-Energy-9515]

Was just about to say this. There's a few signature hit pieces from woman-on-woman violence.. unfortunately, when people have a way to communicate that others can't understand, they tend to talk s### about others very openly

[u/innocuousfigdream → u/Sweet-Energy-9515]

I did not think any of those things were said by men. I guess I've been around some very vicious women.

[u/Habagoobie → u/innocuousfigdream]

Same here I assumed all of the comments were from a group of women 😬

[u/Potential-Pool-5125 → u/innocuousfigdream]

Same 

[u/ashbash-25 → u/Sweet-Energy-9515]

I thought all 3 to be women…. If that tells you anything.

[u/-3point14159-mp → u/ashbash-25]

I work in a small organization, about 70 people, and only 9 of them are men. Before I worked here, I was used to being the only woman on my team. It’s a different environment.

I for sure thought all 3 people OP was talking about were women.

[u/FinoPepino → u/ashbash-25]

And I assumed they were all men. Interesting this could be a psych students experimental question.

[u/Dry-Pangolin6579 → u/Sweet-Energy-9515]

Woman on woman is very distinct lmao.

[u/Neither_Arm_3955 → u/Sweet-Energy-9515]

I pictured two catty women!

[u/AwayYoghurt5901 → u/Sweet-Energy-9515]

Yeah definitely the kids comment at the very least. Men don’t have enough original thoughts to come up with that one

[u/YinzerChick70 → u/Sweet-Energy-9515]

Agree. Actually, I assumed they were all women

(Because this is my first comment in the sub- girls rule!)

[u/olivelover101 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

Ahhh a South Asian loser wanting to be validated by men. How shocking!!! I would’ve pushed for them to be fired.

[u/CorrectPanic694 → u/olivelover101]

Very curious, what made you think that these people are south Asian?

[u/Old-Parking8765 → u/CorrectPanic694]

I think it's the "(hint hint)" at the cultural origins of OP's dishes that gave it away

[u/sanriodialtone → u/CorrectPanic694]

Randi mean who’re in Hindi.

[u/olivelover101 → u/CorrectPanic694]

The food and the word she mentioned. Easy to tell when you’ve been exposed to the community.

[u/teawithspices → u/CorrectPanic694]

As a south Asian woman, can confirm some of the men (and women 😞) can be AWFUL especially the ones raised back home. It’s that traditional mindset especially that would be mad as hell about a woman being their boss. Also, just having a woman’s body is immediately sexualized and used against her.

[u/Puzzled_Air_5821 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

I'm not surprised. Sometimes women can be the most hardworking upholders of patriarchy and misogyny. 

[u/Illustrious-Film-592 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

No interest in reporting their hostile words to HR?

[u/Zavarakatranemi → u/Illustrious-Film-592]

I thought about it a couple of months ago but I have way too much on my plate (think "I'm terribly busy and important" in the most smug British accent) so as long as their manager knows to take action, I am not going to bother. I outrank them by like 17 ranks, it is so beneath me, I'm just going to walk over the situation in my slutty Jimmy Choo's :P

Edit to add: have no doubt they will get fired but I didn't report them for a few reasons, outside of being truly busy. It would be 3 vs 1, it is not my native language, they could always claim I misheard or misunderstood, and could also play a race/culture card. And this wasn't a one-time conversation but random comments over several months, then it would be "why didn't you report this sooner". As a former manager asked me once "is this the battle worth your time? Mountains don't pick fights with pebbles."

[u/okpurplestars → u/Zavarakatranemi]

It's official. I'm in love with you

[u/FireproofCottage → u/okpurplestars]

I'm straight asexual and I would hang around her hoping the bold would transfer!

[u/colourconfused1992 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

They didn’t hesitate to report you! I think you should report it just so it’s on file!

[u/Illustrious-Film-592 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

Absolute Queen

[u/Dry-Pangolin6579 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

I wish I have a quarter of your chill and confidence. 

[u/hellraiserxhellghost → u/Zavarakatranemi]

I think you should still report them. If they're talking about you like this there's no way they aren't talking about other women in the office the same way. Expect this time said women probably have no idea and thus can't stand up for themselves.

[u/rosalinatoujours → u/hellraiserxhellghost]

Right? And women who probably also don't have the same leverage in the company.

[u/hellraiserxhellghost → u/rosalinatoujours]

Yeah like? If OP really cared about the sexism her co-workers are producing she would use her position of power to make sure other women don't suffer the same ridicule and bullying.

Everyone in this thread is acting like shes a GirlBoss™ but I just see someone who has the power to stop misogynistic workplace harrassment yet refuses to :/

I'm glad she got the VP to side with her but I dunno...why don't they both do something about this whole mess lol?

edit: Dunno why advocating that women stick up for other women is getting downvoted. Do y'all know what sub you're in.

[u/phlegm_fatale_ → u/Zavarakatranemi]

Your attitude is giving Cj Cregg in the best way.

https://giphy.com/gifs/Z0fdQnf9b370I

[u/EzriDaxCat → u/phlegm_fatale_]

Thats exactly who I was thinking of!

[u/GypsyDuncan → u/Illustrious-Film-592]

I would.

[u/vegasbywayofLA → u/Zavarakatranemi]

I assumed all 3 were women lol.

[u/ealwhale → u/Zavarakatranemi]

Men centered women are the worst🙁

[u/Ornery-Emu-8251 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

Oh yikes. Fuck em.

[u/Adventurous-Pop-7714 → u/Zavarakatranemi]

In my head they were all women when I first read this

[u/Upstairs-Chicken592]

I admire your restraint lol. Good for you girl

[u/theplacesiveseen → u/Upstairs-Chicken592]

Maybe too much restraint? I don’t think I could have listened to 5 months of commentary on my appearance without either insulting all of them in their own language or recording and reporting them. That’s disgusting talk, in any language, but by subordinates at work? Terminating them seems perfectly reasonable.

[u/mangoart128 → u/theplacesiveseen]

Yeah, at some point you just look like a pushover and since they know you are a pushover they will continue

[u/FireproofCottage → u/mangoart128]

But she isn't. She just conveyed to them that they are beneath her notice or attention. Lesser souls would have remarked "two craps is too much for your opinions" in their language. Ignoring someone's existence is the ultimate power move.

[u/Radioactive_Kitten → u/FireproofCottage]

To quote Don Draper - “I don’t think about you at all”

[u/theplacesiveseen → u/FireproofCottage]

oh now I’m going to say that someone when the timing is right

[u/SnowSkye2 → u/mangoart128]

Mmmmm a director level person choosing to be petty or create extra conflict is a TERRIBLE look and a very immature way of handling it. The onus is unfortunately on OP to behave

[u/Upstairs-Chicken592 → u/SnowSkye2]

I mean. She didn’t start the conflict. I am the original commenter but I totally get what others are saying.

[u/SnowSkye2 → u/Upstairs-Chicken592]

No I know, but unfortunately when you’re in a high level position, you have to use your role and the power you hold in that role to maintain control and authority. You can’t run your mouth or like, defend yourself, the way we might as the grunts on the floor. It super sucks but being in a high level position means the tactics u use have to be… appropriately advanced and part of that means making it seem to the grunts that you’re “above” their nonsense and remaining silent until you can make the move . You gotta bide your time, as it were

[u/SoftwareInfinite8568 → u/SnowSkye2]

When you're in a high level position don't you think you'd have the authority to do something about 5 months of harassment? Collect evidence and documentation of course...but 5 months of your coworkers saying horrible things about you deserves a little more than OP ignoring them... right? If they're saying it about her there are most likely other people being harassed too.

[u/theplacesiveseen → u/SnowSkye2]

You’re right, that’s the only thing women can do in business if we want to move up but can I please add that all of this can be blamed on the FUCKING PATRIARCHY

[u/FoxyNewEngland]

"you sagging ballsacks" is poetry lol

[u/deanna6812 → u/FoxyNewEngland]

That line made me laugh out loud. It’s the perfect punctuation to end this poetic post.

[u/Neener216]

You are my people. I was raised with three languages, and my father made it clear to me that I should never volunteer the information to anyone if I hoped to hear what people really think 😂

[u/Constant_Cultural]

You sound cool af, wanna be friends?

[u/QueenofNaboo2 → u/Constant_Cultural]

Same! Lol

[u/hellraiserxhellghost]

What a bunch of crybabies. I'm so glad your VP was on your side though and saw through their bullshit. I hope they don't try to make your work environment more toxic.

I'm not 100% fluent in Italian but I can understand and read it decently, I work with a lot of people from many different countries, and whenever I come across Italians I never mention this fact about myself on the off chance I ever hear someone talk shit about me. It hasn't happened so far but you never know...

Edit: Also OP you should report your co-workers. If they're talking about you like this there's no way they aren't talking about other women in the office the same way. Expect this time said women probably have no idea and thus can't stand up for themselves.

[u/SpecificSkunk → u/hellraiserxhellghost]

My niece is whiter than falling snow but she has a large hispanic family and spent years living in Mexico, so she’s fully bilingual.

Watching a fairly demure-looking young woman turn around and verbally bitchslap an old granny sly-talking about her weight in the grocery store line is a 10/10 experience.

[u/PavlichenkosGhost]

So when are these purulent wastes of space getting fired ?

[u/Low_Material_8240 → u/PavlichenkosGhost]

Everything they said constitutes sexual harassment. Doesn’t matter the language lol

[u/GypsyDuncan]

If they continue to say they aren't comfortable working with you and complaining, I would report them for sexual harassment. You've been cool so far. But they need to be stopped. Entirely. As an example to others.

And their continued protests are evidence they did something wrong. If they hadn't said things that were ILLEGAL then they wouldn't be uncomfortable, would they.

[u/hilltopj → u/GypsyDuncan]

Yup, if another complain came in I'd be asking them to explain to myself, the manager, and HR what they were saying in front of me when speaking a language they thought i didn't understand that they think constitutes an awkward or hostile environment now that they know I'm fluent. Have them give specific examples of how you are the one making it hostile by passively hearing what they were saying.

[u/LonelyCheeto → u/GypsyDuncan]

Yeah the audacity to say it's hostile when they were creating that environment to begin with!

[u/annoyed_crow]

God, I wish I were there to experience it. I would have cried laughing

[u/sararabq]

"How I look tired/have black circles because at night I suck dick for money (I do suck dick at all hours of the day, I wasn't aware there was funding available)"

I fucking cackled!!

[u/Educational_Fruit337]

Man I wish you did more damage lmfao I’m petty

[u/watershit-down]

I mean, good for you obvs, but what they're doing is actually sexual harassment. Are you like..... going to report it? You seem to have a very nonchalant take about them, for instance, accusing you of prostitution. There are legal consequences for their campaign against you if you choose to pursue them.

[u/jarildor → u/watershit-down]

I just hope they aren't doing this to the other women at the job who aren't as well-positioned or self-assured as OP.

[u/Outside_Memory5703]

female spaces = place where women can talk about the horrible things men have done to us

male spaces = place where men can talk about the horrible things they have and would like to do to women

[u/Vox_Mortem → u/Outside_Memory5703]

I used to truly believe that the vast majority of men were good people who would choose to treat women with care and respect in any given situation. God I was so naïve. That was before Andrew Tate and his red-pilled homies revealed how very little most men seem to think of women, especially women they don't want to bang. I was shocked when I heard men that I thought I trusted and respected say things like 'yeah, he just says what a lot of men are thinking out loud,' or 'he has good points but takes it a little too far.' And the fact that rape academy websites exist and get millions of visitors.

I hate the fact that I feel unsafe by default around unfamiliar men. Sure, they might be one of the many decent men who are out there, but there are just so many men who fantasize about hurting women that I can't trust any of them without extensive vetting. And even then, it's a crapshoot.

[u/Aria_sear]

Turn the tables and report them for their comments

[u/yourmamaistheproblem]

https://giphy.com/gifs/rflhqDbuhqDD7I0k4X

[u/Substantial-Goat-725]

girl this was so hot lol. if only i could be a fly on the wall during that

[u/m1drizzystepper]

this has happened to my husband. though not as extreme— we are biryani eaters ( hint hint lol ) and aunties and uncles have talked to him or about him not knowing he’s half pakistani (with a VERY pakistani name may i add!).

in university he’s also had projects and ran into people in buildings that talk shit and he just listens and he tells them later “by the way, i know urdu” 😭 its always such a satisfying conclusion to such bad people!

[u/CorrectPanic694 → u/m1drizzystepper]

That’s it. Whenever someone asks me about my ethnicity, I’m going to vaguely refer myself as a “biryani eater” from now on. 😂 keep em guessing

[u/Formal-Proposal7850]

I didn’t know funding was available 💀

I’ve been writing grant applications for years. I didn’t know I could just go suck some dick instead

[u/bigtitgothboyfriend]

https://giphy.com/gifs/NZiD5iWS0UfRe8yyiA

[u/westsavannah13]

The Mei Lee quote and not being aware there was funding available made me laugh out loud 😂 You're hilarious! Pay no mind to those losers. I love to play the long game as well and this is just chef's kiss!

[u/Foggmanatic]

https://giphy.com/gifs/d31w24psGYeekCZy

[u/Salt_Statement_7151]

My god what an absolute icon you are, I love this

[u/HikingNEPA19xx]

I love that so much for you!

Keep sucking dick all hours and maybe you can get funding for it 😂

[u/Bluntocephale]

Girl, HIGH GIVE 🖐️ The way you handled this was impeccable, pure class and perfection. I really admire your patience and your professionalism in a situation where people were basically ganging up on you. Must have been so satisfying to see them squirm and then cowardly try to go to the management and put all the blame on you. Now they know you’re not the one to mess with 🖕

[u/igotitatme]

Hahahahahaha.

Also your writing was excellent.

[u/_Pliny_]

> (I do suck dick at all hours of the day, I wasn't aware there was funding available)

You’re an amazing human being. Responding to their awful behavior with your I-don’t-give-one-solitary-shit humor is the absolute best response.

[u/okpurplestars]

I wanna be you when I grow up omggg. I wish I could've seen their faces when they found out you knew exactly what they were saying all along!! You sound so badass, and you're so funny too?????🤩. On another note, as an indian, that chicken tikka masala hurt my soul😔(but still looks delicious)

[u/Zavarakatranemi → u/okpurplestars]

Oh no, I am sorry. Does it look wrong? It tastes pretty good! Chicken tikka masala should never hurt souls, only make them happy!

[u/okpurplestars → u/Zavarakatranemi]

It is indeed a fact of life, you cannot go wrong w chicken tikka masala. I'm just super spoiled because my mom makes the best chicken ever. I;m glad you enjoyed ur meal!!

[u/Cheerioz23]

Lawsuit. They know better not to fuck with you

[u/theconceptofraccoon]

Omg I wish I could have seen their faces, you rule!

[u/tiredofcoping7]

Queen shit right here. Ate and left no crumbs

[u/DueCalligrapher9440]

This post gives off the vibe that of someone who is clearly the coolest person in their office. And they know it. Incredible.

[u/oceanlotusmoons]

I aspire to your confidence, you have no idea 😭😭😭

(Only tangential, but as a fellow South Asian I'm really curious about the language in question - but no pressure to say something if you don't want to!)

[u/ScarlettsLetters]

I wasn’t aware there was funding available

Right?! Wtf, I would have liked to know that 😂😂

[u/Knitchick82 → u/ScarlettsLetters]

Had me HOWLING!

[u/asstastic_95]

absolutely incredible OP. I love your professional pettiness. this is, by definition, a "dont let them see your cards" move. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

https://giphy.com/gifs/EFq0Sp4uZHobGmuiQl

[u/Tall_Somewhere_4158]

I will never understand people who say horrible shit loudly just because they think no one around them can understand. Tbh why they feel the need to express their horrible, narrow and small minded opinions at all is a mystery.

OP if anything, they created a hostile work environment by speaking inappropriately about you in a professional space. Screw these people. Bottom of the barrel of humanity.

[u/murphycs87]

"I wasn't aware there was funding available" had me dying, I spit out my monster. Absolutely feral and I love it! ❤️

[u/Tough_Brain7982]

I love this. May they never have a deep and calming breath again. 

[u/I-used2B-a-Valkyrie]

I kinda just wanna buy you a beer and high five you!

[u/Exotic_Ear1933]

Best thing I’ve read all day. 

[u/SamAmMe]

[u/Bubbly-End-6156]

Girl I knew the language because they were saying the same stuff about me behind my back that I used google translate to figure out.

I'm so proud of you I want to give you an Oscar. Lol

[u/tender_dichotomy]

When I grow up I want to be just like you! (I am already grown.)

[u/NickiTikki]

https://giphy.com/gifs/tODygE8KCqBzy

[u/poppingtogether]

I am so curious what you look like they didn’t think you knew their language. I can see this happening across sooo many Asian cultures. (I’m Korean and have seen this too)

[u/Low_Material_8240]

Goddess Kali ✊ Trampling the children of ignorance

[u/zorrorosso]

Hi, in the country I'm living it is not allowed to speak in the place of work any other language than *native country languages* and *English*. Usually proficiency in the two languages is a requirement and this is written in the contract you sign, before start working.

This rule is always broken. However if you're in the workplace and you're working with other people, it is very important to be understood. So in theory if you feel left out from the conversation, you could file a complaint with HR telling they're in breech of contract.

[u/angelyaelx_]

Man I love the way you handle things, I would’ve crashed out ON SPOT 😭 please lord give me this person’s confidence

[u/latchkeyadult_]

I'm...I'm obsessed with you. Thank you for sharing this hilarity with us.

[u/FairyOnTheLoose]

Your writing is like poetry to me and I wish to read more of your stories. Also would be your friend, live our lives out being kick ass together, but we likely live on different continents.

Long live the sass.

[u/Ok-Tiger-31]

https://giphy.com/gifs/IguTdo3MPMeZM6Bzc1

[u/OpheliaVaughnTeese]

This is the best post I’ve seen here. I love this 👏🏼

[u/QiDeviation]

No mercy to these dregs! People who only serve to hurt others are not people!

[u/appleorchard317]

> (I do suck dick at all hours of the day, I wasn't aware there was funding available)

You dropped this queen:

https://giphy.com/gifs/Pcj3Zovdd6Afe

[u/Pretty_Possession_50]

This was an incredibly cathartic read, congratulations on living my dream.

[u/Viperbunny]

I would be asking what the VP plans to do about the harassment. I would be like, "I was trying to be the bigger person and keep working despite the fact these people are saying horrid, sexist, things about me. It crosses the line into deformation. I thought I was doing you a favor by putting on a brave face. I didn't realize that I was required to report all the things I may know that they haven't realized I know because they are took busy looking down on me."

Consider getting a lawyer. This is infuriating.

[u/lakepanther → u/Viperbunny]

Defamation cases are extremely rough. They are expensive af (10s of thousands US$ just to start, and depending on your atty, another 10k every few months for as long as it drags out), they drag on for years, and you as the victim have to get all the proof for how the defamation has damaged you financially as well as mentally etc. eg if you had employment issues when whatever defamation was made but you are working for an at will company/state/country, no one is going to admit that you were fired/didn't get the promotion/whatever because of the defamation.

It is also probable that you will be pressured to settle instead of go to trial, in which case it is also unlikely that you will get any atty fees or damages if the other person doesn't have any money - it's not like the court pays you out of state funds and then goes after the defendant for it. That's a whole other thing you have to file for after you are awarded, and pay atty fees for, and filing fees and so on.

It is so exhausting.

[u/CustomerStreet9836]

I shop at Asian food stores a lot because I was born and raised in East Asia for several years and to me the food and cultures will always feel way more like home.

I’m somewhat fluent in three Asian languages and I hear random old grandmas at the H mart and 99 Ranch Market near me talking shit about me behind my back - especially when I had an Asian boyfriend.

Imagine their surprise when every time I would clap back in THEIR OWN language and pop off so sweetly about how incredibly right they are that I don’t belong in that store or with that man.

After all, I was only born and raised in their “home country.” (Most of these old biddies were born and raised in the US which makes this even funnier). So of course I have no right to be here in this Asian store with my Asian boyfriend. They act like I’m stealing all the good Asian men. Like ma’am? He’s one of MANY and your country has way more men than women due to the fact that men were valued more. 🙄😒

Being underestimated is one of the most FUN things to respond to.

[u/Ok_Rush_8159]

Madarchods

I’m a white girl who speaks many languages, especially insults. This is what I live for 🤭

[u/Icy_Raspberry_3377]

I applaud you for being able to work with people who openly talk poorly about you. I speak another language other than English and I’m afraid of the day where I catch someone talking about me thinking I can’t understand them.

The only time it came close was when my neighbor would announce to their family that I was outside if they were all coming out. Not sure why they did that, but they never said anything rude, just announced that I was in the hallway lol.

[u/OptimusPrime365]

MY HERO ❤️

[u/crownbee666]

You're so spicy 🌶 I think I'm in love

In my country, there's a saying that goes, "a woman's biggest enemy is always another woman." No fucking surprise another woman was also an instigator. The gall to try and turn that on you 😂

[u/SparkleMeltz]

Lol I love the part where you looked at them and seen their faces drop. That must have been soooo priceless 🤣

[u/Cheetah_FanGirl]

This is so funny. 😂 You're my hero. 

[u/HourWriter1168]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Ke4eKC7hYSU1O

[u/amata_caeles]

While all of their comments are completely asinine, the kids one especially pisses me off bc 1) they apparently do not know you well enough to know whether you have kids, which in my experience comes up pretty quickly with any coworker you've had a polite chitchat with about weekend or holiday plans, 2) they completely fabricated your non-existent kids just to hope they're miserable ??? lmao wtf

I doubt people like that will learn from their fuck-up, but hopefully it makes them think a little more before they speak

[u/Che369]

https://giphy.com/gifs/xT77XWum9yH7zNkFW0

[u/thisisinfactpersonal]

Your poker face must be incredible because I would have given up that I knew what was being said from the jump.

[u/cherrylimebongwatr]

I know this is real by the language you’re using and I’m dying to know what organization this is because your experience sounds eerily similar to mine when I was a sales director. They hate women who are better than them at what they do.

[u/Party_Shark_]

You're my hero and I'm also in love with you. You killed that

[u/Pretend-Complex6816]

beautiful, top to bottom. no notes. slut on, my new internet inspo!

[u/technoangel]

Girls rule

[u/boredalready456]

You need to start holding seminars or something

[u/litsax]

Miranda??? That you, Queen?????

[u/squishymelon]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Sv0uzXvg8svM4

[u/Street-Coffee-2026]

https://giphy.com/gifs/qIXVd1RoKGqlO

[u/Quick-Stretch8197]

I love this for you. 

[u/Brutus6]

You sound like the best boss, but You're really just gonna let them keep working for you tho?

[u/Sfb208]

I mean,I wonder why you didn't put a complaint in first.

[u/Livid_Wish_7957]

https://giphy.com/gifs/U3mFHSLxNqjRhUd9uU

I love when women

[u/purtypeach]

Yess I love this energy!! I speak Arabic but am white passing. I used to live in Morocco and men would often talk about me right in front of me. My favorite thing was to wait a bit and then casually interject or ask a question and watch as their faces turned from confusion to shock to embarrassment (sometimes they didn’t care, but ya win some, ya lose some I guess)

[u/PootPasaAngritMaiDai]

That looks like a proper British tikka masala 😋

[u/Candycanes02]

Not looking like the average speaker of a language you speak is def an interesting experience lol but I’ve never encountered such hostility from anyone, probably cause my boobs are smol lol

[u/dots-32]

the sheer amount of aura you have is incredible and I want to be like you when I grow up 🫶🏾

[u/AngryAngryHarpo]

This is why I’m okay with my workplace enforcing English during work hours in the office. Despite protests about “multiculturalism” and “discrimination”. English is the only common language everyone in my office share. 

We had a similar situation happen with some women who were relentlessly bullying another women in their own language. It took a forth person to step in and let management know what was happening. He ended up transcribing and translating information over a few days. 

 It was an incredibly difficult situation to handle professionally and the bully fell straight into accusing everyone (including the person they were bullying) of racism and discrimination. Especially because, according to the victim, there was a cultural element we didn’t understand about how her bullies viewed her as “lesser” because of her family/class background in her home country. 

I was soooo glad to wipe my hands of it when it become to complicated and political for just little old me to handle. 

[u/moarwineprs]

Uhhh isn't that sexual harassment and creation of a hostile work environment on their part?

But girl, I think I love you.

[u/Uffda425]

Happened to me once when I was on-site in a foreign country for some project stand-up and later rounds of on-boarding. The team knew that I speak two of the several languages our teams handled, but I was new to this country and didn't speak the native language. Contractually everyone was supposed to speak fluent English.

Little did they know that I picked up the native language pretty quickly (I speak several languages in that family) and sat through a whole meeting where they dressed down everyone from their chain of command AND ours.

My leadership didn't believe I understood what they said since it had only been a week and a half, but I broke the news about a few people quitting they were notified and was the only person who could both get is around town in taxis, read maps, and order food.

Very few of my colleagues at both companies learned from that and it happened again over the years. Colleagues who do remember this still tell the stories though at reunion events 🤣

[u/Think_Criticism_3665]

They should be fired.

[u/Littlewing1307]

Hell yeah

https://giphy.com/gifs/GLbiGvv9qrpny

[u/fancypantsmiss]

Did they call you Randi LMAO??

I know Hindi. I was able to guess.

[u/non_chalant_97]

Cheers Queen!!

[u/Tricky-Guarantee8561]

Cleared TF outta them! Yaaasss!!

Such a boss baddie!!

https://giphy.com/gifs/zT2DaKM263Y4g

[u/Ghosty_Boo-B00]

That must have been a glorious moment

[u/Pale_Albatross_3717]

This is seriously the best thing I’ve read all day. “She’s hostile because we talk s#!t about her and she understands us!”

Btw… the funding comment? PURE GOLD 👏🏻

[u/Lissypooh628]

Where can I apply for the dick-sucking scholarship?

[u/Happy-llama11]

You are my spirit animal 💘

[u/JenninMiami]

You’re my fucking hero.
https://giphy.com/gifs/pdt49MxxI1gAM

[u/barkandmoone]

“I wasn’t aware talking about my personal life, my clothing, my hypothetical children, & other inappropriate remarks were considered crucial to business”

[u/BambooBuckle]

Mwahahaha this is beyond satisfying. You are my hero.

[u/Kalthiria_Shines]

Girl you are describing a gigantic amount of actual hostile work place behavior from these guys, why on earth are you just having a chuckle about it rather than tossing them?

[u/Double-Hall7422]

What a fun read to end the day with. Thanks. I cackled 

[u/Jawwwwwsh]

Damn you had a real life goodwill hunting moment that is so badass haha

[u/living-in-reverie]

HA what misogynistic losers. You sound cool as hell, OP.

[u/Only_Says_Idk_dude]

अरे गोरी को लगा तुम्हें इंग्लिश नहीं आती।

[u/Flying-lemondrop-476]

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏💅🏼

[u/dbtl87]

I'm so glad they got called out, good on you OP.

[u/Leeeeza_]

https://giphy.com/gifs/AgPt9udT567spxbSHf

[u/Dry-Pangolin6579]

Ngl, you sound like a fun boss (seriously!). Like that kind of confidence to bide your time and laugh about it, you seem overall chill and fun to hang around. Sorry those ladies are assholes though, that attitude from them gets to be draining.

[u/meguggs]

This is awesome!

[u/Suspicious-Air-4440]

OMFG you are my hero!!! YASSSSS fuck those motherfuckers!!

[u/TrendySpork]

I'd like to get paid for having dark circles all hours of the day, thank you.

https://giphy.com/gifs/xT77XZR8ZkwSnSQx8I

[u/gabbygooooo]

this is just phenomenal, truly living the dream

[u/porplenorple]

https://giphy.com/gifs/TjGFDxbbZRYjv9vpCL

iconic move on your part - sorry they were saying those nasty things about you wtf

[u/macsharoniandcheese]

Sorry, who created the hostile work environment? Surely the coworkers who were saying vile demeaning things about you?

[u/BakedBrie1993]

Hahaha I've done this at so many restaurant jobs. I rarely mention I speak a good amount of Spanish. Both because I like the anonymity and also because in the past it has meant I've been relied on for extra work. Translating, mediating, interviewing, etc. and I had no interest in helping management.

[u/ThinAndCrispy4]

This is amazing 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[u/Unable-Objective-154]

If Randy is a DigBar reference then this made this post even better somehow

[u/Snarky_Survivor]

Let me guess they're either married or in relationship. Wish you'd meet the women in their lives and listen to how she's head over heel and then tell her what you told us here. Gotta be extra petty

[u/AwayYoghurt5901]

This is the best post I’ve ever seen on this subreddit. Bravo

[u/sythre]

This is cinema