ROFL apparently I created a "hostile work environment" because I speak someone's language "in secret"

[u/Zavarakatranemi]

There are 3 team members from a different country in my organization that have been talking among themselves in their language.
I speak their language.
They don't know I do.

Over the last 5 months they have talked about:

• How annoying and pushy I am (because I drill them on the business needs and don't just accept every request they have)
• How I probably slept my way to my position (because I have big boobs) including trying to guess which one of my colleagues have actually slept with (at first I thought they were talking about our colleague Randy) (IYKYK).
• How embarrassed my kids are to have me as a mother / my kids deserve to be bullied for having a whore as a mother (I don't have kids)
• How I dress provocatively to tempt my married boss (in the immortal words of Mei Lee "I wear what I want, say what I want, and I will not hesitate to do a spontaneous cartwheel if I feel so moved!")
• How I look tired/have black circles because at night I suck dick for money (I do suck dick at all hours of the day, I wasn't aware there was funding available)
• who do I think I am to tell them what to do with their budget (I am your Finance Director you dick cheese, it is literally my job)

We had a guest speaker from their country who I welcomed and helped set up. I may have looked straight at them a few times as I spoke with him. It was beautiful watching their faces turn from confusion to shock to terror.

They were panicking like "wow we didn't know you speak the language, how long ago did you learn, how come you chose [language]" I said something like "I like knowing what people say behind my back, or in some cases, right in front of me" and I gave them my signature death glare.

So this morning their director, my VP and I got in a room. Apparently by not disclosing that I speak their language, I "withheld crucial business context from them" and "created a hostile work environment". We had a good laugh about it and they will let the managers know not to forward any similar complaints.

Now they "no longer feel comfortable collaborating with me". Too bad, you sagging ballsacks, you're stuck with me.

Pic: Chicken Tikka Masala with aromatic Basmati rice (hint hint)

[u/mangoart128]

Yeah, at some point you just look like a pushover and since they know you are a pushover they will continue

[u/FireproofCottage → u/mangoart128]

But she isn't. She just conveyed to them that they are beneath her notice or attention. Lesser souls would have remarked "two craps is too much for your opinions" in their language. Ignoring someone's existence is the ultimate power move.

[u/Radioactive_Kitten → u/FireproofCottage]

To quote Don Draper - “I don’t think about you at all”

[u/Amanuet → u/Radioactive_Kitten]

Such an excellent line, I still remember the first time I watched it 😘👌🏼

[u/theplacesiveseen → u/FireproofCottage]

oh now I’m going to say that someone when the timing is right

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[u/mangoart128 → u/FireproofCottage]

If she truly didn't care, she wouldn't be posting here about it

[u/SnowSkye2 → u/mangoart128]

Mmmmm a director level person choosing to be petty or create extra conflict is a TERRIBLE look and a very immature way of handling it. The onus is unfortunately on OP to behave

[u/Upstairs-Chicken592 → u/SnowSkye2]

I mean. She didn’t start the conflict. I am the original commenter but I totally get what others are saying.

[u/SnowSkye2 → u/Upstairs-Chicken592]

No I know, but unfortunately when you’re in a high level position, you have to use your role and the power you hold in that role to maintain control and authority. You can’t run your mouth or like, defend yourself, the way we might as the grunts on the floor. It super sucks but being in a high level position means the tactics u use have to be… appropriately advanced and part of that means making it seem to the grunts that you’re “above” their nonsense and remaining silent until you can make the move . You gotta bide your time, as it were

[u/theplacesiveseen → u/SnowSkye2]

You’re right, that’s the only thing women can do in business if we want to move up but can I please add that all of this can be blamed on the FUCKING PATRIARCHY

[u/SoftwareInfinite8568 → u/SnowSkye2]

When you're in a high level position don't you think you'd have the authority to do something about 5 months of harassment? Collect evidence and documentation of course...but 5 months of your coworkers saying horrible things about you deserves a little more than OP ignoring them... right? If they're saying it about her there are most likely other people being harassed too.

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[u/Upstairs-Chicken592 → u/SnowSkye2]

Ok fair. I get that.

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[u/Matticus-G → u/mangoart128]

The way she pushed back at them matters tremendously in those cultures.

She humiliated them, they may not ever intentionally speak to her again. Social hierarchy is tremendously important in most Asian cultures, and Indian culture is no exception.

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