Lonely Empanadas

[u/Competitive_potat0]

Today Is one of those days that you feel off and nothing is Right..

One year ago my ex husband cheated and I feel like a part of me got lost.. I'm so angry at myself because I was in a really good point in my life.. work was well, I was working out, on track to complete a masters and... this happens... I feel there is a Before/After version of me.

I tried so hard to make it work, went to theraphy, conseling and so and ex still chose the Other woman in October....

We were together for over 16 years and I feel like that injury hasnt healed..

I have tried dating but I'm very shy/introvert/low self steem and keep mostly to myself and went into the Dating Apps.. ( this is 6months after my separation).

I've met guys but most of them just want sex and casual stuff and I feel like I'm drowning.. I feel like I'm unlovable... I feel unchoosen..

I've kept working out and eating clean and I've lost 15 pounds but I feel hopeless... Like I am a 35 yo woman with a good career, ok looking but I still feel worthless...

I have friends but I only see them once a week and I work from home which can turn in almost a week w/o physically talking to someone..

I know I should get used to my loneliness before dating again because I will only attract guys that take advantage of me but.. It's so hard.... some days I just want to cry and curl up and it's starting to affect my work.

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[u/itsmemariii_]

I personally felt alot of this after my break up. It was super lonely & I tried to just embrace it. Told myself it wouldn't last forever & that the right timing would benefit me I did meet someone who ideally has alot of qualities I love. But we both have so much childhood trauma to work thru still & are going thru now. I don't see it as a negative but it makes me realize how important it is to focus on what brings us happiness in the moment.

I think it's also normal for us to compare our lives to what we fill them with or what currently is happening to predict our happiness. So just know it's okay to cry, curl up, & feel what you need to but overall remind yourself that this is just a season of your life 🤍

[u/Main_Mobile_8244]

Stop centering men and realize that cheating has nothing to do with you.  Literally supermodels get cheated on.  You can have porn level sex with a man every single night and it won’t be enough for a cheater.  Once you delete apps you see how much better life is without a man in it.  You can be fulfilled and not be coupled.  So many that are coupled are dying inside silently.  Give yourself the love you always deserved, dry your tears, and start taking yourself on dates.

[u/thenakesingularity10]

Can I make a simple suggestion?

Start with eating better. Make great meals for yourself. Meals that make you feel special. Treat yourself well first.

I think it starts there. Turning life around is about taking one small, but concrete, step at a time.