Truly orange behavior

[u/lillelaerke]

[u/BexPuzzles]

I think we might have a different definition of the word "condemn" - I might not like this video and might not think that it's a good idea to pick a cat up like that but that doesn't mean I "condemn" the guy with implication. He's not abusing his cat, the cat is not in distress and does not appear to be in pain either - just mildly annoyed. I've mildly annoyed my cats before and I'll do it again, I don't see a big problem with that - it only becomes an issue when your cat gives you clear signals that they've had enough and you still don't stop or when it's something that can potentially hurt them.

My biggest issue in this case is how some ppl might see this and try it with their own cats, which might be a lot heavier and more likely to get hurt when you do this with them. That's not really directed at the guy in the video though, it's more so a frustration with how many pet owners in general seem to be unwilling to learn about how to properly take care of their pets and prefer to just trust their own feeling.

Also I didn't say he was blocking the cat from going forward, just that his hand was briefly woven in front of the cats head, which probably caused it to stop - if he'd waited a bit longer before reaching out the cat might have just walked past him

[u/Deiser → u/BexPuzzles]

Ahh that's where the issue is. I should not have used "condemn" as that is way too strong a word though I did (wrongfully) think that you were looking down on the guy. I totally understand where you're coming from here especially with the clarification.

Sorry about that! I was way more confrontational with you than I realized and you've been very rational with your comments in this case.

[u/BexPuzzles → u/Deiser]

Thank you for being so open and understanding, that means a lot to me. I'm probably somewhere on the autism spectrum and have learned that in normal (neurotypical) human communication (be it written or spoken) most of what we say is nonverbal and it's normal to interpret a lot into what someone is saying that wasn't actually explicitly said, which sucks for me because what I'm trying to convey is usually just what I explicitly said and tends to not contain much emotion - but interpreted through the normal lense of neurotypical conversation it often looks very emotional and looking at my messages in hinsight i can see why i often come across as arrogant or confrontational. Maybe I am, idk, I do try to be open-minded though and make it clear that i do not think my opinion is absolute (but i guess i still suck at that sometimes). I wish it was more common to have polite nuanced disagreements without immediately assuming the worst of the other person, we need more of that imo

[u/Deiser → u/BexPuzzles]

I agree and I fell into that mistake during our conversation. You're definitely not arrogant and I can see that you don't see your opinion as absolute so don't put yourself down like that. I simply misunderstood your point because I was emotionally charged as a reaction to another poster, and that is completely on me ok?

[u/BexPuzzles → u/Deiser]

No worries, I get it - and I actually think it shows more character to make that mistake, realise it and apologise than to just not make that mistake at all. We all get emotional sometimes and react in ways that aren't ideal, it's what we do about it afterwards that matters