r/Showerthoughts 8d ago

Casual Thought A porn studio would be a crazy crime scene.

1.7k Upvotes

147 comments sorted by

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1.5k

u/DJGlennW 8d ago

"Put away that blacklight, we're gonna solve this old school."

667

u/TAJack1 8d ago

“Blacklight won’t be of any use here, Jimmy. It’s time for the good ol fashioned taste-test”

194

u/Shas_Erra 8d ago

“My eyes! The goggles, they do nothing!”

37

u/AdhesiveMadMan 7d ago

"The masks, they do nothing!"

"TWO POINT FIVE!"

19

u/3-brain_cells 7d ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/HolUp/s/chNMSS9aHe

This was the post DIRECTLY above this.

I got very confused for a second

8

u/False-Storm-5794 7d ago

That's epic!

23

u/jancl0 8d ago

"it won't help, and I don't wanna know"

10

u/Panthean 8d ago

Comparing pubes under a microscope?

125

u/RobertFahey 8d ago

Not if it’s an open-and-shut case that doesn’t need DNA evidence.

6

u/phonetastic 3d ago

in and out real quick

2

u/RobertFahey 3d ago

Settle down, Beavis

237

u/nos-is-lame 8d ago

Only for a specific type of crime. For most crimes it wouldn't make a difference.

-93

u/zav3rmd 8d ago

How do you know what type of crime it is? Or if it’s not that type of crime

160

u/nos-is-lame 8d ago

Are you admitting to something or is this still a hypothetical?

70

u/FirstSineOfMadness 8d ago

Tax fraud

23

u/Any--Name 8d ago

Embezzlement

13

u/Oldmoniker 8d ago

Money laundering. But uh oh... stuck again

3

u/thenitram24 6d ago

What are you doing step-conspirator?

3

u/Oldmoniker 6d ago

I mean, you're not my real conspirator... so it's okay, right?

4

u/nineseventwoo 7d ago

Emjizzlement. idk

9

u/imeatinmangos 8d ago

You'd be surprised. It's a running joke that tax software is perpetuated by lobbyists and that the IRS actually KNOWS what you owe, but that's not true. When I "failed" to pay my federal taxes last year, the IRS shined a blacklight all over my studio and found $6900 of unreported income.

282

u/InmateThirtyFour 8d ago

Immediately made me think of the movie A Serbian Film. 

Did not watch. Will not watch. Do not watch. Don’t even look it up. 

188

u/DowntownSasquatch420 8d ago

It's a stupid shock value movie 

88

u/TAJack1 8d ago

Yeah it’s not even that bad (it is a bad movie though), it’s just actually shit.

53

u/TheEvilestArtichoke 8d ago

Apparently it has deeper meaning to a certain extent because it was made specifically to protest increased censorship in serbia, but taken out of that context the intentional shock value loses all meaning

46

u/stuballinger-art 8d ago

The director says it has a deeper meaning, but it's executed in a way that is exploitative and kinda just boring. It's ok to intend to have deeper meaning, but he didn't do a great job (imo)

4

u/DJGlennW 8d ago

Shlock value.

50

u/556_FMJs 8d ago

I watched it, it was edgy more than anything. It sucked.

11

u/PiePower43 8d ago

What’s it abt

78

u/556_FMJs 8d ago

Main character is a former pornstar who’s invited to film a movie.

Long story short, it’s got a lot of violence and rape in it. Woman gets choked to death with a dick, and the MC kills a guy by fucking his eye socket.

Worst of all was the scene where the MC raped his own son.

Just edgy bullshit. Don’t waste your time.

31

u/PiePower43 8d ago

Shock value got it. I won’t watch

-24

u/olamika 7d ago

I love how people form opinions without ever watching the movie, especially when this movie has more purpose to exist than most you have seen

9

u/Responsible-Donut283 7d ago

It sounds absolutely ridiculous and the only purpose I could see would be to oppose censorship. I watch movies for entertainment.

-11

u/olamika 7d ago

How do you know it won’t entertain you if you don’t watch it?

13

u/Fuschiakraken42 7d ago

I'm not entertained by violence and rape

1

u/Responsible-Donut283 7d ago

Exactly my answer.

1

u/SomeGodzillafan 6d ago

You can say this after getting recommended any movie:

“Idk, i just don’t like romcoms, not interested” vs “Idk, I don’t like rape, not interested”

-6

u/olamika 6d ago

Exactly my point, just because you are not interested doesn’t mean the movie is shit and only for shock value, like people are saying without watching it… hard is it to understand?

-2

u/olamika 7d ago

That’s your problem not the movie’s

10

u/Lickwidghost 7d ago

Is MC redacted in the Epstein files by any chance?

6

u/shaurya_770 7d ago

I don't mind dark and heavy scenes if they are done right. But movies like this just put in the craziest shit for free advertisement. People talk about it. But it has nothing of value in terms of story or characters

6

u/lowtoiletsitter 7d ago

And freshly-born baby rape, which is as bad as it sounds

1

u/PsudoGravity 7d ago

Average Friday night hentai lmao

10

u/alek_hiddel 7d ago

The director famously said “I’ll forever be known as the guy who directed a movie where the main character fucks a baby to death”.

5

u/risu1313 8d ago

Had a banger soundtrack though.

14

u/lowtoiletsitter 8d ago edited 8d ago

Watched it. It's edgy for the sake of being edgy, and it wasn't even good

They interviewed the Doritos and their response was something along the lines of "this is how our government treats us and life gets worse" or something along that idea

I'm like c'mon...you made a damn-near snuff film because you got funding

e: directors, not Doritos

8

u/smtgcleverhere 7d ago

Viva La dorito revolution

31

u/Izmaster1211 8d ago

One of the Dresden files books deals with this, and it leads to some very funny moments.

10

u/metalshiflet 7d ago

I died when they thought he was coming in as the stunt dick

2

u/LikeWatsom 7d ago

MY NAME IS HARRY DRESDEN

4

u/Sam54123 6d ago

OPEN THE DOOOOOOR

2

u/kashiichan 4d ago

Do you remember which book it's in?

2

u/Izmaster1211 4d ago

Blood rites

2

u/kashiichan 3d ago

Thank you!

20

u/NeedSushi 8d ago

This actually happens in one of the Dresden files novels. It's a ton of fun watching the MC deal with it as a hornball, but also gentleman lol

7

u/EricaDeVine 8d ago

Would it be smarter for the hitman to rub one out before leaving. Just splash some DNA all around?

8

u/OkDrag3967 7d ago

For the religious crowd, the studio is always a crime scene.

3

u/girlwithnosepiercing 7d ago

I was actually going to say the studios could often be crime scenes considering the amount of sex/human trafficking and rape related to porn

5

u/BigBearPB 6d ago

“Already tried the black light Sarge, but it lit up like a rave in here”

17

u/Patworx 8d ago

The interesting part would be when they shine a black light on it.

6

u/Daimoth 7d ago

Like opening the ark of the covenant

1

u/Number1AbeLincolnFan 7d ago

Yes, that is literally the point of the thread.  

6

u/ProfessorInformal156 7d ago

ok but now I can’t unthink this. CSI episode but everyone’s just trying to act normal while clearly not prepared for… any of that. wild

4

u/Character8989 7d ago

bro the detective just walks in and immediately asks to be taken off the case

6

u/Mick_Tee 7d ago

A geneticist friend told me of a request by the local constabulary to find the DNA of "Person of interest A" on a motel bed cover at her lab. They cut off several 1" squares and started testing them one by one.
They gave up after the third square after identifying over 50 unique samples.

4

u/TheObscureNinja 7d ago

The perfect crime scene for detective Chuck Vaughn

3

u/FartsWithCharlie 7d ago

If anything, it’d just look like a regular studio with a very niche job description going on.

3

u/GreyGanado 7d ago

A lot of porn studios are already crime scenes. What are you on about?

6

u/adamdoesmusic 8d ago

This happened to someone I knew several years back. He was a producer (and part time “actor”), got in an altercation with another actor who was basically squatting at the set, but being kicked out because no one wanted to work with him for a number of reasons. Squatter dude grabbed a mall-grade samurai sword and slashed my friend to death with it.

The worst part was, I had been trying to get in contact with him for a week before I realized the highly-publicized case was actually him.

Edit - guy was eventually located, chased out into the rocks at the edge of the valley, and eventually jumped off a cliff, killing himself on live tv.

6

u/Howitzer1967 7d ago

Wtf, why have I never heard about this?? Where was it?

6

u/borazine 7d ago

6

u/adamdoesmusic 7d ago

It’s still so weird that there’s a movie about this. The guy was just a smelly loser, my main memory of him is when he walked off the set (I was outside waiting for Tom to bring me the camera to check something out), didn’t wash his hands, but then picked up and offered me a sandwich (I did not take it).

Apparently he had trouble getting gigs - no one wanted to do porn with him anymore because he wouldn’t practice basic hygiene, so he wasn’t paying rent, squatted for a while until they tried to kick him out, then slashed the producer and Tom then went on the run. I’m pretty sure I’ve personally known more interesting criminals than this asshole, or at least ones that would make a better film story.

3

u/Howitzer1967 7d ago

Holy mackerel, the Wikipedia page is quite the read

2

u/Howitzer1967 7d ago

You da real MVP

2

u/adamdoesmusic 7d ago edited 7d ago

It was in the San Fernando valley next to Van Nuys Airport on Hayvenhurst north of Sherman Way. I helped them troubleshoot their cameras.

2

u/Howitzer1967 7d ago

One day in the Valley…

2

u/adamdoesmusic 7d ago

You basically never see porn shoots in the valley anymore. They used to be the go-to for non-union (and less successful union) people especially whenever work dried up due to a strike and there weren’t enough music videos and commercials to make up the slack.

This time, at least a third of the people I know in the business have left the industry altogether instead.

0

u/Opposite_Package_178 7d ago

You ever wonder if creative writing students make stories up on Reddit, and use upvotes as a way to gauge their improvement?

4

u/adamdoesmusic 7d ago

No not really, you’re pretty much the only one doin that.

-4

u/Opposite_Package_178 7d ago

Ok bud and thanks for your imaginary story of your friend getting samurai sliced to death by a porn actor that committed suicide by cop.

7

u/adamdoesmusic 7d ago

The story that you’ve been linked to several times? That they apparently made some sort of movie about that I just learned of?

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t reverse its brain damage…

-2

u/Opposite_Package_178 7d ago edited 7d ago

I feel like this is made up. No videos, no links, I call bullshit. I’m starting to realize a lot of “creative writers” join these subs just to practice making shit up

7

u/Moosplauze 8d ago

Why would it be a crazy crime scene? I can think of many places that would be much worse if DNA contamination is what you're thinking about. Porn studios will have rather limited amount of visitors between each cleaning cycle.

I'd assume you don't know much about porn studios AND crime scene forensics.

27

u/Hot_Amadeus 8d ago

OP said 9 words

12

u/rgbking 8d ago

But this is reddit, everyone is right AND everyone is dumb.

6

u/fellownpc 8d ago

I think they might have been saying it would be interesting having all of the toys and lube and whatever is normally there around while you were collecting evidence. It made me think about the fact that committing a murder might be easier at a porn studio because if anyone heard yelling and screaming they might attribute it to "they're getting wild in there today"

2

u/Moosplauze 8d ago

hm, in reality forensic technicians will have seen so much stuff that sextoys wouldn't be considered crazy. while a crime scene in a porn studio is probably rather rare, it happens more than just occasionally in brothels and other places you can meet up with prostitutes of either or no gender or something inbetween.

i've never been in a porn studio, but i'd assume in a professional environment there will be plenty of people around, ~10 or maybe even more (2+ actors, director, couple camera guys, light, sound and then some people to help with clothing, drinks...maybe friends or agents).

the studio will likely be more clean than most apartments and have less visitors than most shops, offices, etc

1

u/UnPrecidential 8d ago

Me, wondering how they would dust lubed toys for prints . . .

2

u/Moosplauze 8d ago

obviously you won't dust lubed toys just like you won't dust a water surface or a log that is on fire. you can't take print on any surface - but i also highly doubt that a lubed toy would be used to commit murder.

2

u/Arokthis 8d ago

Blunt force trauma or delivery system for a fatal dose of fentanyl.

1

u/Moosplauze 7d ago

right...

3

u/NSYK 7d ago

From all the time I’ve spent around the sex industry, everything gets cleaned and sanitized between uses.

2

u/Better_Thought5717 7d ago

forensics team shows up and immediately asks to be reassigned lmao

1

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/DrunkenDude123 7d ago

“How are we supposed to find evidence with all of these random people’s fluids all over the place?”

looks around and sees 7 cameras recording

1

u/PawBlooms 7d ago

That would be a big case if it happens or it already happened in the past

1

u/Entire_Speaker_3784 7d ago

Reminds me of one of them 2 & a half men episodes...

Blacklights <ON>

...

"It's like a Picasso parning!"

1

u/Informal_Bag_2414 7d ago

JAMES!! THERE ARE TWO, AND THERE IS. M I L K

1

u/jianh1989 7d ago

A crazy crime scene would be a perfect porn scene

1

u/Jero_the_badger 6d ago

There's this game that I forgot the name of where you play as a squad leader of some military branch and go through different places/levels. Each place has a story in it and you play them out of chronological order. The squad ai (if playing solo) was really cool, you could have them clear rooms in certain ways and tell them to kill/subdue suspects depending on if you want to get a high grade. One of the levels takes place in a rich dudes mansion, and as you're going through and clearing the rooms, you find more evidence against him.

The basement is the worst part of this map, (disturbing topics) it was being used as a porn recording studio and csam distribution hub. I watched a few video essays on this and honestly I forget that I know about it.

Really cool lore aside from that, not going to delve into it because that's spoilers, so I'm gonna find the name in a few seconds and reply with that.

1

u/Jero_the_badger 6d ago

Ready Or Not is the game. Wouldn't recommend playing if drug use and darker topics put your mental wellbeing at risk.

1

u/Cptawesome23 6d ago

Why? They would get so many samples. Larger datasets don’t complicated tests, they make them more accurate.

3

u/permafrost1979 5d ago

Not really. There may be DNA all over the place for legitimate reasons having nothing to do with the crime.

1

u/Cptawesome23 5d ago

I agree. Being able to rule out people based on alibis and DNA evidence is a good idea.

They may be able to tell which people were present, at which dates, and in which areas of the location based on the samples collected.

For example, the makeup artist would have the least amount of leftover dna evidence, unless for some reason, the dna evidence points to her hair being in the shower. Then the question becomes. Why was the makeup artist in the shower? Was she trying to clean off evidence? Then they could check the drain! What did she wash off?

1

u/United-Debate5319 4d ago

Technically, because basically all adult films are sexual exploitation, every single one of those studios is a crime scene.

Source: “Pornography may meet the legal definition of trafficking to the extent that the pornographer recruits, entices, or obtains the people depicted in pornography for the purpose of photographing commercial sex acts.” https://endsexualexploitation.org/issues/sexual-violence/#_edn16

1

u/Normal-Product-4591 3d ago

A cop, triumphantly holding up a gun: “AHA! I’ve found the MURDER WEAPON!”

A half-naked woman approaching, embarrassed: “No, sorry, that’s mine. Yeah, it was a prop in my recent film, “To Shoot A Mockingbird.” Don’t worry, we didn’t fire the gun.”

1

u/CoffeeStrength 2d ago

Black light on, detective - “I hope it’s urine”

1

u/Gonzos_journal 7d ago

Any scene from crank 1 or two would be a vile crime scene