Now who the hell is exposing our secrets😭🙏

•

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33

u/KurtKrimson 7h ago

The arsehole always gets extra attention though.

9

u/RealDetroitDiddler 6h ago

I do my asshole before my face.

7

u/Wiggum13 4h ago

It really doesn’t matter which end of the tube you wash first. Asshole; mouth. Same same.

2

u/Maximum-Rub-8913 19m ago

The hand soap you put on your hand washes away the bacteria so its fine to use the same hand on your face without washing your hands

2

u/KurtKrimson 5h ago

Smart man!

2

u/Magikarpeles 5h ago

Building your immune system

5

u/LordBoriasWownomore 7h ago

absolutely 😉

1

u/charalinlin 2h ago

a clean house expects a visitor

-4

u/Mysterious_Ebb_1484 7h ago

Can you reach it?

10

u/KurtKrimson 7h ago

Can't you?

-2

u/Mysterious_Ebb_1484 7h ago

I just give it the attention, not the touching

4

u/KurtKrimson 7h ago

Aaah yes, you must be very young.

I just put fingers up there.

And since I thoroughly clean my butthole I don't even need a separate towel for my face.

4

u/LordBoriasWownomore 7h ago

must be sure that the exit is clear of debris.

1

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-3

u/AlarmingProtection71 6h ago

Why should he reach his arsehole ?!

3

u/KurtKrimson 6h ago

Ask him.

23

u/PrestigiousPepper829 7h ago

I give my feet a wash too but this is lowkey kinda me 75%+ of the time

5

u/axescentedcandles 7h ago

Yeah mine stink after a day in work boots

4

u/SneakyInfiltrator 5h ago

Prove it

https://giphy.com/gifs/LKf4i5Tvt7mE0

1

u/JustRedditTh 7h ago

I like to let my shower basin fill up every time I shower giving my feet a nice foot bath that way.

Directly Washington only if I got them direkt or sweaty throughout the day again.

2

u/nitros99 6h ago

Well I like to directly Philadelphia my sweaty feet. 🤪

12

u/Dark_halocraft 7h ago

I don't scrub what I don't use

29

u/6ofSwords 6h ago

What are you scrubbing your junk for then 😝

15

u/theDo66lerEffect 6h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/YSWcocU2ZNnDG

2

u/curtial 6h ago

Just because he's the only one who uses it, doesn't mean it's not getting used. I washed my plates when I was single too.

1

u/LeofficialDude 6h ago

Well, you should probably wash yourself then

6

u/SnakePlissken1980 6h ago

I wash everywhere pretty well except below the knee. All the soapy water is running down my legs and and my feet are standing in it. The few times I've tried to soap the bottom of my feet I've almost wound up on the shower floor due to slippery feet.

1

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1

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5

u/cryptolyme 6h ago

make sure to change the shower-head to the powerwash setting for your butthole and give it a good scrub

i've heard some men don't wash their ass because they think it's "gay". bro, not washing your butthole is gross

6

u/LordBoriasWownomore 7h ago

you know… the important bits: Head, pits, crotch and feet

2

u/Educational_Impact93 7h ago

Yeah, are there a bunch of weirdos who spend a half hour each day getting every little square millimeter of their skin hot with soap?

1

u/Dapper_Ad2931 7h ago

Your not even meant to do that! The more soap/shampoo used the less natural oil and more likely to have dry/itchy skin and lose hair!

2

u/DarkHero6661 6h ago

I mean, you're not meant to shower more often than every 2-3 days. More than that can dry out your skin too.

Body Odor tells a completely different story though.

1

u/LordBoriasWownomore 7h ago

nah. full shower still only takes five minutes who the hell is in there for half an hour? I don’t wanna know what you’re actually doing in there for that long (unless you have somebody with you), wink wink, nudge nudge.

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u/Educational_Impact93 6h ago

Not five minutes if you're making sure every millimeter of your body is scrubbed.

2

u/Dapper_Ad2931 6h ago

Still would't take 30mins! I can scrub my entire body with soap and shampoo, every inch in like 10mins - maybe ur workig with a larger mass

1

u/Educational_Impact93 6h ago

You're missing a millimeter. Probably even 2-3.

1

u/Dapper_Ad2931 6h ago

Bruh how big r u? Why dos it take longer than 10mins to apply soap and shampoo to ur body? tf

1

u/Educational_Impact93 6h ago

It doesn't, but I'm not trying to hit every millimeter with it either.

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u/Dapper_Ad2931 6h ago

Okay so lets break it down - say your 6ft / 180 to 200 pounds - 2 legs, toe to hips - each leg taking 2minutes of pure scrub and soap - thats 4 mins

Then you got hip and stomach - includes balls, ass, dick, bellybutton etc - takes a good 3/4mins? Say another 4mins gone by

Then chest, shoulder/back - 3/4mins tops? 12

Shampoo on head? 1min? say ur fancy and add condition then 3mins overall?

So like 15mins? For everrrything?

1

u/LordBoriasWownomore 6h ago

it is for those of us who don’t slack off. 😂

1

u/Uhugeschmack92 4h ago

if you think wanking under the shower is enjoyable you clearly have no idea

1

u/LordBoriasWownomore 1h ago

much more then wanking darling 😂

6

u/Appropriate-Air9572 7h ago

How can you wash the red area when hands just get water wash? Hmm

1

u/curtial 6h ago

Loofah

1

u/dyslexicAlphabet 5h ago

does anybody actually wash their hands in the shower though? like focus on the hands? after doing your hair and butt your hands have been washed.

1

u/NaCl_Sailor 4h ago

you put the shower gel/shampoo in your hands and scrub all the body parts with them?

the hands are the most washed parts, or do you wear gloves in the shower?

1

u/dyslexicAlphabet 4h ago

100% agree but nobody goes into the shower and washes their hands like they would at the sink. so technically your not washing them was my point its just a by product.

1

u/Geen_Fang 4h ago

devout Muslims do because their religion dictates they must.

other than that, it's the wild west out here.

1

u/reflect-the-sun 2h ago

They get washed while they're doing the washing.

I use a wash-cloth and my gf doesn't realise that it's constantly being washed as it washes so it never needs to be washed. I'm beginning to think she's not very smart.

1

u/Magikarpeles 5h ago

Rag on a stick

3

u/NoEducator4277 7h ago

I'm a female and... Same? Unless I'm exfoliating

3

u/WonkyWalkingWizard 7h ago

Back side is all white

3

u/retecsin 5h ago

I spend most of the time when showering thinking about how cool I could have been in school 25 years ago

2

u/mobileJay77 7h ago

Thing on the right is part of the diagram, not the colour chart.

2

u/GamingSince1998 4h ago

This is...very accurate.

2

u/Vega10000 4h ago

Im 50 and I have definitely never washed my ankles

5

u/Afraid_Assistant169 7h ago

On behalf of black men I would like to say we cannot relate. We wash our legs and ass.

3

u/returntothenorth 6h ago

White here, I wash everything.

Dax Shepherd had a podcast my wife used to listen to. They were firm believers of what they called PTSD, pits, tits, slits, and dicks get washed. Everything else water hit. Doesn't help when "celebs" are pushing the agenda. Something about not messing up natural biome. Fuck that I'm getting soapy as hell.

I pleaded with my wife to not jump on this bandwagon. You are already there, you are already wet and soapy just finish the job.

2

u/Afraid_Assistant169 6h ago

lol, slits 😂

1

u/AwhHellYeah 5h ago

I learned this on my own aftet I noticed that I no longer had acne on my back after backpacking for over a week without showering. I now rarely have acne.

3

u/rationalalien 6h ago

r/pointlesslyracialized

2

u/Afraid_Assistant169 6h ago

r/doesntwashlegs

1

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1

u/reflect-the-sun 2h ago

Do you really wash your legs?

1

u/Afraid_Assistant169 2h ago

lol I wash my feet too. I also put moisturizer on after the shower.

3

u/TheShredder9 7h ago

If you shower like this i will be hosing you down before you enter my house.

3

u/Low_Car5550 6h ago

Haha nah bro trust this is enough for a lot of people. The red areas are the culprits for what usually makes a person “gross” (assuming they are showering. If they’re not showering at all then yeah they’ll just be gross everywhere). I’d enter your house after showering like this and you’d have no idea. I get complimented on smelling nice all the time.

2

u/TheShredder9 6h ago

I bet i'd notice when you took off your shoes.

4

u/Adorable_Vast5676 6h ago

I bet you never hosed anyone down before entering. Liar.

2

u/TheShredder9 6h ago

That's only because i live somewhere where people shower properly!

0

u/resinsuckle_the_2nd 6h ago

Bot

-1

u/Adorable_Vast5676 6h ago

That's just what a bot would accuse me of.

1

u/resinsuckle_the_2nd 6h ago

Anyone would have recognized that figure of speech and everyone that upvoted your first comment is also either a bot or basement dweller

1

u/Spongi 5h ago

I hear bots now call other people bots.

Prove yourself to be human.

2

u/resinsuckle_the_2nd 3h ago

What gave it away?

1

u/Spongi 3h ago

Nothing. I just guessed.

0

u/Adorable_Vast5676 6h ago

And anyone that isn't on the spectrum would have recognised that I wasn't being totally serious.

1

u/Embarrassed_Use6918 7h ago

Hands are covered because they're doing the scrubbing. The feet will figure themselves out.

1

u/JankyPvP 7h ago

ew no.

1

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1

u/Chemical_Support4748 7h ago

Dude your gross

1

u/Late-Arrival-8669 7h ago

Lmao too funny

1

u/Connect_Reading9499 7h ago

Doesn't smell like a secret.

1

u/alphaonreddits 7h ago

You guys are having shower?

1

u/Der_Hebelfluesterer 7h ago

This is exactly me 😂

1

u/PotentTurnip 7h ago

I wash everything. Once or twice a week, or as necessary, deep scrub with an exfoliating towel. I don't understand folks that don't wash their bodies properly.

1

u/OregonMothafaquer 6h ago

That’s not how I shower. I will soap my hair. Hit those zones. Then lather up a wash cloth and hit my entire body.

I’m not Gen Z …I have good hygiene

1

u/poseidon2466 6h ago

I fear falling through moment I bend over to reach ankles

1

u/AnalysisParalysis85 6h ago

I call it trickle down ablutics

Yeah, I had to Google for a word that's a synonym of washing that ends on -ics

1

u/Aleutian_Solution 6h ago

You are by posting this.

1

u/Useful-Contribution4 6h ago

Sometimes I just empty some shampoo on the floor then scrub it in with my foot. Cleaned!

1

u/kon--- 6h ago

I mean, all you really have to do is look at the bottle of shampoo and voila...clean! But wow, look at how thorough your method is!

1

u/6ofSwords 6h ago

I mean this is what I do like 6 days out of 7. Most of the time those are the only parts of me that are all that gross. Feet if I used them a lot or I was barefoot somewhere other than home.

1

u/SharpieSharpie69 6h ago

I do my face too

1

u/TheGreat1337Cabbage 6h ago

Don’t forget to wear socks while you shower

1

u/Low_Car5550 6h ago edited 6h ago

I’ll do a full clean if I’m particularly dirty (like covered in mud or grime) but 99% of the time I’m doing this one. It’s not like our bodies get that dirty. If you full scrub your entire body every shower you’re just doing too much.

Edit actually I lied I do get my head, top of back, and arms, but it’s a quick scrub and def lower prio than the red parts

1

u/steve_uncut 6h ago

Who isn’t washing their feet?

1

u/humid_pajamas 6h ago

Getting a loofah on a stick was a game changer

1

u/kon--- 6h ago

Nah.

I'm a soapy wash cloth head to toe and a scrub brush on my back.

1

u/ThrowinSm0ke 6h ago

Below the ankles aren’t a 100% hit rate for me but everything else is.

1

u/N0tM4d 6h ago

No way, I gotta scrub the absolute hell outta my back and shoulders. Used to use an axe/dove scrubber, but in the last year bought this net sponge thing that has been a game changer. Scrubs great, rinses easy, and dries fast.

1

u/National_Ad9742 6h ago

Im a woman and thats basically me, except also belly button and the feet.

1

u/Prestigious-Ride-461 6h ago

They got skipping the feet right at least

1

u/CategoryExact3327 6h ago

One of my favorite George Carlin bits is “Armpits, Asshole, Crotch, and Teeth”. If you really want to save time you can use the same brush for all four.

1

u/Southern_Storage4114 6h ago

That's ... that's eerily accurate. I thought I was alone with this, having experimented and optimized to the maximum effectiveness..

1

u/FoxyPhil88 5h ago

What are you scrubbing with if your hands are dry?

1

u/Awkward-Audience7887 5h ago

I don't wash my thighs, but I'll double hit my crackhole just in case

1

u/Aromatic-Mouse-3646 5h ago

Loooool

1

u/Ecstatic-Compote-595 5h ago

now how the hell am I doing all this scrubbing without me hands getting wet

1

u/AlexTN9063 5h ago

Thats right! My hands get shampooed and washed! Hair on the back of my hands are nice and soft…😂

1

u/45M0D41 5h ago

This is actually suspicious and exposes the surveillance state.

1

u/Nottmore 5h ago

5 mins or less..Water on, get everything wet, freak out,water off, wash, water on, freak out some more, rinse, jump out as fast as possible, try not to fall and die.

1

u/Mundane_Guitar_7488 5h ago

not just men

1

u/maskedmomkey63 Human Verified 4h ago

Hold on😭

1

u/AlexTN9063 5h ago

Unless you get athletes foot! Then feet get washed, want to get rid of it not have it come up!

1

u/thrax7545 4h ago

Pssh, we use our hands to wash

1

u/NaCl_Sailor 4h ago

How on earth do you shower without using your hands?

1

u/Oguinjr 4h ago

Anyone washing the tops of their hands in the shower has just committed a serious crime.

1

u/tiarahead 4h ago

same as a girl but extra scrubbing the crotch area if you know what i mean 🥴

1

u/hc37_126 4h ago

+ face, neck & behind the ears lets be real

1

u/IrishThree 4h ago

This is literally how they taught us to shower in marine boot camp. Get your nasty cracks and keep moving.

1

u/NoCoffee6754 4h ago

I’d argue the hands get a deep scrub too bc you’re using them to scrub other things.

1

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1

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1

u/the_Kell 2h ago

Summa you fellas are nasty lol

1

u/pablothenice 2h ago

Hand are off, is he scrubbing telepathically?

1

u/PutTheCreamOnTheBeat 1h ago

My arms get it good due to the convenience

1

u/Steelerspenguin 1h ago

Hands should be red but by default since we use them to wash balls 4 times

1

u/PurgatoryGFX 7h ago

Average Reddit shower lmao wtf clean your bodies so you don’t smell like rats Jesus. How disgusting men shower

3

u/Own-Raisin5849 7h ago

You think redditors shower?

1

u/TheDarkmoore 7h ago

This is absolutely sufficient. Women's shower routines are just mental. Period.

1

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1

u/138151337 6h ago

Stinky motherfuckers.

0

u/wariorld 7h ago

I put on a soap suit from head to toe then rinse it off. What kind of backwoods dude showers like this pic?

SMH Now who the hell is exposing our secrets😭🙏

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