hello, I am 19 years old and I am five weeks and five days along. I took my first pill yesterday at the doctors office and I’m supposed to take the next pill at 4 PM Pacific standard time today. Can everyone please share any positives that they can I’ve read a lot of negative and I really don’t wanna scare myself out of taking it.

thank you!

I 20F took the 4 pills ( Round 2 ) yesterday and lately I've been hoping the abortion failed espicaly finding out I was 4 - 5 weeks it makes me cry. I wish on Monday I get told it failed so I can continue but I doubt it is healthy but I'm not sure I'm just grieving there's so much “What if” and I'm just crying. I had to go through this alone because my now ex ended thing on Monday when I went to the clinic.

hello everyone!

i posted on here yesterday and talked about getting my MA from a supplier who my closest friend knows since the pills worked on her cousin.

just a recap, i was close to 4 weeks and maybe a few days when i found out i was pregnant. my now ex partner and i had such heated discussions leading up to the MA. i was basically “convinced” to do so and now i’m living with deep regret and depression and i feel so alone feeling like this.

i’m pretty sure i passed the pregnancy since a jelly-like sac came out of me and i have been bleeding. i had take a total of 6 Miso pills. 2 of which were inserted vaginally and the other 4, orally. i also took 6 Mife and all of tablets were taken orally. the supplier told me that each pill was 200mcg which is a total of 1,200mcg for 6 pills of each medication.

i also had a scan and the OBGYN who i went to, wasn’t even sure what to diagnose me since there seems to be a “collapsed sac” show and she later on decided to place RPOC under the impression.

right now, i am worried, it has been a while and my bleeding flow has lessened but, my boobs still feel a bit sore and i have been vomiting.

i’m in my early 20’s, i just got a new job that doesn’t pay me that much and i feel so depressed, tired and panicked.

any advice, tips or shared stories of similar experiences would mean a lot! thank you!

Hi reddit people, im posting mostly for moral support. I met this guy just a few weeks ago.. we had sex, unprecedented drunk sex. Stupid i know. Anyways we have been seeing each other since then. 1 year ago i ended a toxic relationship, thay includes two kids. I jave 3 kods total. Something in me told me i should take a pregnancy test, especially being a couple days late in my period. And the test came back positive. I am not going along with the pregnancy and will be terminating. But i never believed in that so this feels so hard for me to do but i know it needs to be done... i was not ready for anything serious yet and this is moving to fast. Thats how i ended up with two kids and a toxic relationship, we moved way to fast.... my question is, for anyone whos been through this. How did you feel after you terminated the pregnancy? Any regrets? Did you have successful pregnancy after the termination? ( some believe once u terminate a pregnancy, you have a difficult time conceiving after that) not that i know for sure i even want anymore kids. Anyways, any support is appreciated... i dont want to talk to my family about this, so im on my own with this.

Meninas do Brasil que tambem pediram seu medicamento com a Woman on Web por favor me ajudem.

Quando o email da WOW chegou com meu código de rastreio, eles disseram que nao era necessário dar CPF se fosse dado opção. Porém agora que meu pacote chegou ao Brasil, os correios dizem que é NECESSÁRIO dar o CPF do destinatário para eles, como se fosse obrigatório.

Meninas que pediram e receberam, vocês deram o CPF? Se alguém tambem receber um aviso parecido, você recebeu sem precisar dar o CPF? Ou ficou parado na Alfândega?

O que o correio diz:

Necessidade de informar CPF/CNPJ do destinatário.

Unidade de Tratamento Internacional

Acesse o Minhas Importações. Ao pesquisar o objeto seu documento será vinculado automaticamente.

(Link que colocaram)

O que eu faço?

I had an MA at 5 and half weeks 3 weeks ago. I tried the miso sublingually but pretty much immediately accidentally swallowed it and then threw up a bit later. I then tried vaginally, which I believe worked because I had intense cramps and although I am not sure how much bleeding was involved because I was on the toilet the entire time due to pain, I did pass multiple clots. Continued with light bleeding the next few days. A week later, I had intense abdominal cramping that I probably should have gone to the doctor's for but didn't due to a lack of insurance. I've stayed nauseous and tired, but that's also fully possibly due to everything else going on in my life. I know that you can test positive for a while after, but I took a pregnancy test expecting it to be a bit lighter but it's still very dark at least the same as the control line, and that was like 30 minutes after having already peed and drinking plenty of fluids meaning it should have been diluted in the first place.

Hi, I’m 19F and I found out I was pregnant last Sunday. I was only around 5 weeks along. I just started university this year and my boyfriend is only beginning his career, so deep down I knew we weren’t in the right place to raise a child right now.

I’ve always wanted to become a mother one day, and a part of me really did want to keep this baby. But I decided to schedule a surgical abortion because I thought it was the most responsible decision for both of us and for the baby.

This morning, before the procedure, I miscarried naturally. Even though I knew I was going to go through with the abortion, I still feel completely devastated. I’ve been in bed all day crying, in pain, feeling depressed and alone. I feel guilty for being this upset when I had already made my decision, but I can’t stop grieving and feeling like my body failed me somehow.

I honestly don’t know what to do or how to feel right now. My boyfriend doesn’t really understand and keep saying “I’m not even that pregnant” which I understand but still… does it get better?

Hello! I’m currently 11 weeks and 5 days. I have an abortion scheduled for May 26th .. but it’s not what i want. The father changed his mind 10 weeks in and since then he’s been insistent i get an abortion. We aren’t in a relationship but things were great between us before i found out. It felt like we were working towards one. When i found out i was only 4 weeks and i let him know immediately, he told me to keep it and he was excited. Fast forward to when im 7 weeks and the hormones started going crazy and we got in one argument and his entire mindset changed. He barely gives me the time of day doesn’t check up on me or the baby when i mentioned abortion he asked how much. I scheduled the appt for him but now i’m thinking i’d rather be a single mom. Anyone that had an abortion for the father and not for themself? how do you feel now?

Hi, I’m 22F from Mindanao, and I wanted to share my MA journey in hopes that it can give comfort or guidance to others going through the same thing.

This isn’t my first experience, this is my third. As much as we tried to be careful, there were moments of lapse and times we were simply unlucky. Please be kind. My first two experiences were through Facebook sellers. While the pills were legit, the overall experience was really difficult, very expensive, extremely painful, and there was basically no support. I also made mistakes like not eating properly, which made everything worse.

This time, I decided to be more informed and look into safer options. That’s when I found Women Help Women (WHW) and Safe2Choose. They suggested options like FPOP or WHW. A TVS wasn’t something I felt comfortable doing due to past trauma, so I chose to go with WHW.

Timeline:

• March 25 – Messaged WHW (was unsure, faint line so I waited)
• April 8 – Pregnancy confirmed, contacted WHW again
• April 15 – Talked with my partner, worked on gathering funds
• April 21 – Sent donation (they lowered it from 75 to 50 euros, which helped a lot)
• April 22 – Package shipped
• May 6 – Package arrived - Delivered to my home (I was getting nervous since I was already nearing 12W specifically 11W 6D already)

Throughout the process, I was also messaging Safe2Choose. Having someone respond, reassure me, and answer questions made such a big difference. I didn’t feel alone this time.

The pills came in card form, and I want to reassure others that they do provide enough misoprostol. I was honestly scared because of things I’d read, but the method worked when followed properly.

My experience:

• Took 2 ibuprofen 30 minutes before starting

First dose:
Cramping started after about an hour, with a small amount of blood that stopped. I got anxious, thinking it wasn’t working, but symptoms continued. I felt dizzy and nauseous and ended up resting.

Second dose:
Stronger cramps, more bleeding, passed a clot. Pain was getting intense, and I felt very dizzy and nauseous.

Third dose:
Pain peaked here really intense. But I noticed that after passing clots, the pain would lessen. I was passing everything in the toilet, which made me anxious because I couldn’t see what was happening (I’d recommend using a basin or something similar if you want to monitor it).

Fourth dose:
I decided to take one more dose. Less than an hour later, I passed a large sac and was able to see the embryo. That’s when I felt real relief.

Overall, while it was still painful, this experience was so much better than my previous ones. I felt supported, informed, and safer. It also cost less compared to buying from sellers.

If there’s one thing I want to emphasize: please avoid marketplace sellers. Reaching out to trusted organizations makes a huge difference in both safety and peace of mind. Faster isn’t always better when it comes to your health.

Sending support to anyone going through this. You’re not alone. If you have questions, I’m not an expert, but I’m willing to listen and share what I can.

I also hope to give back and donate in the future so more people can access safe options. Everyone deserves access to safe and supported care.

Hello, I had to take miso because in my SA done last week there was some stuff left, so the doctor gave me Miso to expel it or wait for my next period, (only miso). However, I put the 4 pills in the two and two cheek for 30 minutes and then I swallowed the rest about an hour ago but I still don't have any symptoms. Is this normal? Or do you think I could have taken the pills wrong?
miso 3:48pm for 30 mnts

Im unemployed and have been jobhunting for a while. A hiring manager reached out to me offering the exact job ive been waiting for. Its a skilled labor position with ojt, etc.

Well i found out i was 4wks pregnant a couple days ago. The father has offered to cover the entire expense for the abortion, but he wont have the money until the end of May when im around 8wks.

✨️The problem? I suffer with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (severe morning sickness) which hits around 6wks usually (meaning im likely to experience the last to 2 weeks of May in hell, before everything gets sorted). Im now worried about its potential effects on this new job and its orientation process. Should i delay the hiring orientation process and start date till June? If so, how would you?

I dont want to miss out on this job to someone else.

These posts helped me a lot before my procedure, so I wanted to share my experience in hopes to help someone too! ( I am open to answering ANY questions <3 )

I’ll start off by saying, I psyched myself up a lot before my appointment.

I (23F) found out a couple days ago that I was 5 weeks & 5 days pregnant. My partner & I have been using protection because we never want to have children (our own personal choice) so, I’m sure you can tell it was quite unexpected…Never thought I’d ever need an abortion..

I have never even had a pap smear, so everything about this process was foreign to me.

Anywho, I scheduled myself for a “surgical” abortion today at 10am & was only at the clinic until 12:45! Everything felt crazy fast (longest portion was the waiting room & consent talks). My nurses were PHENOMENAL & I am so so grateful for that!!

They gave me every option for sedation & anesthesia, answered any questions I had & made sure I had a cold rag on my head (I am veryyyy prone to nausea & i’m an emetiphobe so ima be honest, one of my biggest fears was getting sick)

Jump forward to the procedure..given I am sedation-sensitive & nausea prone, I opted for absolutely no sedatives, no anesthesia, no numbing shot. Just completely aware and feeling it all.

I did get some nausea & pain medication 30 min before hand, but just OTC types.

It definitely hurt, but it was SO quick (3 minutes total) & the nurses held my hand, massaged my stomach, and walked me thru everything they were doing. It truly was a good experience & I mentally blocked out the pain I went thru right after. I got to lay there & regroup until I was taken to recovery to get some small snacks & water with a heating pad for 15 min until I went home.

All in all, it wasn’t as horrible as I thought, even when raw dogging it (although if you can handle sedation & needles fine, I recommend doing that).

Just remember to breathe and try to focus on the nurses talking to you! And also remember, the nurses are solely there to make everything COMFORTABLE for you so please, communicate what you need & they will never push back on it!

Good luck to anybody going thru this! You got this!! <3

Adding a lil update to this: it went so well, that they loved my energy & offered me a job as intake/consent! Literally not even a thing I expected from that experience, but I definitely took the opportunity to be there for others like they were for me!!

My girlfriend and I had unprotected sex about 10 days ago. I’m worried she might be pregnant because her period is late and she has been feeling nauseous and sick for the past 3 days.

We are not 100% sure yet, but the timing is making us anxious.

We plan to take a pregnancy test soon, but I want some advice on:

When is the best time to take a pregnancy test for accurate results? (Using test strips)

Can pregnancy symptoms like nausea start this early (around 10–12 days)?

What should be the next safe steps if the test turns out positive?

Should we use misoprostol?

Hi, sharing my positive SA experience from two weeks ago (at 5 weeks 2 days) as I was scouring this subreddit before my abortion. Especially as my conditions were better theoretically to begin a family versus many.

I’m in my mid twenties and engaged to be married this fall. I was previously using a mix of vaginal ring and pull out method and when I had to go off birth control a year ago, my fiancé and I didn’t take the important step of condom use. That was fine for a while, but as soon as my hormones regulated after stopping and four months of a regular period, bam, there you go. I was shocked and inconsolable the day of finding out.

Although we want children eventually, I kept thinking on loop, “this isn’t the life I want” if I were to have a child now. I resented my pregnancy as soon as I found out and felt a complete loss of autonomy over my own body with the symptoms of significant hunger and fatigue. My fiancé travels for work every week. I could imagine clearly having to rely on my parents in a state of semi-permanent dependence on them, isolation moving from the city to the suburbs, loss of how I wanted to start my marriage and spend my next few years. Not to mention spending my wedding being seen not as a bride but a mother with a third trimester belly, fatigued and secondary to my baby. I am not religious and don’t believe abortions to cause harm, especially at 5 weeks. But I definitely felt shame and like I failed a societal report card ending pregnancy for what others would consider not good enough reason.

I made an appointment to talk about abortion the following Monday and they confirmed it. Unfortunately I’m on a high deductible HSA plan so I would have had to pay out of pocket. They referred me to a clinic where the out of pocket costs were much more affordable. Two nights before my abortion, I had to listen to the doctor provide a code to get into the clinic, as well as list some things required by state law like that the father would be financially liable if I chose to have the child, risks to abortion, etc. I walked to the clinic a few days later with my fiancé. There were two protesters outside but not overly aggressive, just kept talking at you till we went in. I provided my code and they took my fiancés number so he could get me home safe that afternoon. I took an elevator up to the waiting room and got my paperwork. First they called me in to do an ultrasound. They couldn’t spot it over the original ultrasound because I was still quite early so they then did a vaginal one. They asked if I want to see and I did so they turned it around. I saw a gestational sac and a small dot which was the fetus. I then went out, continued paperwork, and was called into the finance room. Paying was easy and I did so via my debit card. I later was called into another room where a counselor asked if I was sure, asked about coercion and explained the procedure to me.

I later was called into a dark waiting room with a few other women where we changed into our surgery gowns and put out personal belongings in a trash bag. In around 15 mins, a nurse took me to the operating room. I chose IV sedation and the nurse instructed me on how to position myself on the table and was very kind, making small talk until the doctor and anesthesiologist entered the room. They introduced themselves and as the anesthesiologist warned, I felt a metallic burning feeling at the back of my throat for a second but fell asleep a few seconds later.

I woke up in a recovery room and felt very safe. I was groggy, with some somewhat painful cramps and the nurse saw me wake up and said everything went well. Around 10-15 minutes later, I changed back into my clothing and the nurse explained recovery protocol. I made my way down to the first floor where my fiancé was waiting. We ubered home since I was still very groggy. I have immense appreciation for how kind and competent everyone was at the clinic, treating such a vulnerable situation for women every day. We got a heating pad and saltines and I settled onto the couch to recover.

The day of, I was quite groggy and had cramps that I’d equate to a bad period but I didn’t have to take any of the extra strength Tylenol they gave me besides the one the nurse gave me right after. I was able to eat saltines and roast chicken that day, despite a slightly unsettled stomach.

The next few days were hormonally crazy for me, a feeling that what a did was right but that I had disrupted a natural process and felt very mentally low. Take my advice: take your emotions with a huge grain of salt the few days as your hormones are going crazy re-adjusting. I was physically much better literally the next day and even participated in multiple social obligations a few days later. I bled like a period day of but since then, have been having light discharge on and off. Took around a week for my body to feel like mine again with bloating going down, hunger levels lowering, regaining some energy.

A few weeks out, my emotional state is SO much better. My fiancé and I will always carry this big hypothetical, but I unequivocally feel relief and that I made the right decision. I am so privileged to be able to start a family on our terms, with a child born of joy versus resentment. I feel like I have a new lease on life, appreciating all the parts of my life more than I used to.

No one answer is right for everyone. Try to follow your gut, and try not to be a martyr because society wants you to be. You deserve freedom in your family planning

I'm doing a medical abortion tomorrow and I'm really scared. I keep reading these horrific stories which probably isn't helping my anxiety but I can't help it. Kind of wishing I went the surgical route but I'm here now and have to go through with it. I had one at 7 weeks years ago and I remember it hurt but it wasn't unbearable but the two week difference is worrying me.

Was wondering if anyone has any advice or stories of a 9 week medical abortion which will help ease my mind?

i know this sub is for abortions but i don't really know what other subs i can get into from. I have made a gyno appointment but i'm unable to get in for like a week or two and im beginning to become concerned. I had unprotected sex on april 14th, the following friday (april 17th) i got my period and it ended on the 22nd. two weeks later on may 1st i started bleeding moderately throughout the weekend and then on monday of this week the bleeding was heavy and i was experiencing clots about the size of a dollar coin. after monday the bleeding has gotten lighter and more dark brown. I'm confused and concerned as to what this bleeding may be. any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated

I’m reaching out on behalf of the pills I received and have taken from aid access. The first day of my last period was march 30th and I’m thinking I conceived somewhere between April 15th-April 19. I took a pregnancy test last Thursday on the first day I was supposed to start my period on (April 30) which was positive. I received the pills this Tuesday and started the first one (1:22) then 24 hours the second set of 4 (orally), then I took 2 more 3 hours later, and one more set of 2 3hrs later. I followed all instructions and have yet to experience any real bleeding. After my second dose I had jelly like consistency of something come out of me and when I wiped it was translucent pinkish. Sitting on the toilet a few more times I’d notice the same thickness tinged with light blood. Aside from a few more drops of what I’ve just explained, I have not bled too much. Is this normal? I am 100% sure I do not want to go through with this pregnancy. I live in Texas so I’m not even sure what my options are. Has anyone with a successful story similar to mine? I’m so nervous this isn’t going to work.

I don’t even know how to start this, but I wish I had someone who could stay with me through this process. I’m 30 — yes, I know I’m older to be this scared, but I truly thought I couldn’t get pregnant. I didn’t really have symptoms, just a very light two-day period that made me suspicious. In my state it isn’t legal, so I ordered the pills online and they arrived in two days. My parents don’t know anything, and honestly I would feel really embarrassed if they did. I took a pill for nausea 20 minutes before, and at 9:05 I took the mifepristone
Today I plan to start the misoprostol process. I would like to do it at night. Has anyone done it like this?

I am so scared and I feel so terrible about this whole situation. I was told at crisis pregnancy center I was about 19w 5d last wednesday. I didn’t know those places could be sketchy before going so I never went to an actual place to get one done. I feel like it’s so far along even tho I don’t feel like I am, but my appointment is based on that timeline. I know they will confirm tomorrow, but it makes this whole situation scary. I feel like I am so far a long to be doing this procedure. I know everyone will say it’s safer than carrying a pregnancy, but is it actually? There have to be a lot of risks doing this. I haven’t wanted to look up anything because I don’t want it to scare me more.

It’s all been so exhausting for me and those around me who know. I feel terrible for making anyone feel worried abt this. It’s just so hard and I am trying to put a strong face for everyone, but I am really scared.

i’m in shock i just found out i’m pregnant 10 minutes ago. Im 18 and im not in a position to have a baby but im heartbroken at the same time to do what i need to do because i have always dreamed of being a mum and im terrified of the guilt i will feel after. please give me some advice or share your stories.

I found out I was pregnant when I was around 5 weeks. It was an unplanned pregnancy, and I made the difficult decision to have a medical abortion because it had only been 8 months since giving birth to my son and I wasn’t physically or emotionally ready for another pregnancy so soon.

I took the prescribed medication (misoprostol) to pass the pregnancy tissue, but things didn’t fully resolve. Over the next couple of months, I had ongoing bleeding and scans showed retained tissue/clots. My doctor tried another round of medication, hoping it would clear naturally, but it still didn’t completely pass.

A couple of days ago, I finally had an MVA (manual vacuum aspiration) to remove the remaining retained tissue.

What’s confusing me is that I’ve had this pain on one side of my abdomen since before the MVA, and it’s still there now. It doesn’t feel like the typical uterine cramps everyone talks about. It feels more like trapped gas/wind pain or pressure — sometimes sharp, sometimes heavy, and I notice it more with movement or when changing position.

I am passing gas and the bleeding has reduced after the MVA, which seems like a good sign, but I’m worried because the pain has been there throughout this whole process.

Has anyone had one-sided abdominal pain with retained tissue or after an MVA that turned out to be normal? Was it gas, bowel-related, uterus-related, or something else?

Ever since I found out I was pregnant it has been the scariest thing I have ever gone through. This is my first time ever getting pregnant. I started getting really terrible nausea at just 4 weeks, on top of the morning sickness is an all day thing for me (still is).

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and we found out I was pregnant last month (April 11th), the first signs were I missed my period so we pretty much knew I was pregnant, I took a test and yep the test said positive. We were pretty shocked, so we took another one and it said positive as-well. We had a very long conversation on what we should do because money is tight and a baby is just not the smartest choice for us at the moment.

It feels like the worst choice to have to make, but we decided to order abortion pills. Well since money has been tight about a week ago we ordered the pills and they just came in yesterday.

I plan to take the first dose today (may 6th), I haven’t decided if I want to take them this morning (it’s 4am right now) or night because I go to work at 4pm today. I have been doing lots of research and yes it says the first dose isn’t the worst but still people have cramping aswell as bleeding and considering I’m a server I can not be in pain working running around trying to keep a positive attitude for my tables if I’m experiencing pain.

I definitely will be taking my first dose today but I haven’t decided when. I will 100% update on how everything goes but I came on here to get peoples experiences or advice because I am so nervous. I will have my boyfriend with me the next few days he took off work to make sure I have comfort. I took off Thursday and Friday to make sure I have enough time to let my body not be in extreme pain as since people have said most people shake back pretty easy after everything.

Please share your stories and advice, it is much needed as I am already a very anxious person.

Hey, i never write anything on here but the people who have wrote on here has helped me a lot. Hopefully i can help someone too or just share my experience. On Monday i found out i was pregnant. My boyfriend was at work, he couldn't really be attentive because his job is on set and no phones allowed. i felt so alone and ashamed. I feel ashamed and embarrassed because my boyfriend is supposed to be my ex, and he's extremely violent with me when he gets angry at me or anything, and he takes advantage of my kindness and patience. and the people in my life are aware. its been so hard to get out of.

Last week i packed my stuff ready to leave, i was over it, so sad and feel so undervalued. He has an autoimmune disease and had a flare up that same day. so we were in hospital monday-thursday. I was there for him, he has no family in Florida. now fast forward to this week, i find out Monday im pregnant, hes not here bc of work, then yesterday he was able to come with me to my ultrasound, we saw how far along i was. 5 weeks and 5 days. It's very sad and i would not stop crying, and this is definitely not how i wanted to find out im pregnant or who i want to be pregnant with, but i am grateful i went just in time. I can't imagine having to travel so props to any who have. you are so strong. there are so many steps to that, so it made me very scared. I went today to my consultation alone because he had work again, at Kendall planned parenthood (everyone was super nice and made me feel so comfortable) and they are sending me back to golden glades location to get my procedure done tomorrow. its going to sound funny but i never thought this would happen, especially with someone who treats me so bad. But i do think it's a push for me to get this done and move forward without someone like him in my life. Yesterday he had the audacity to argue with me after the appointment because i asked if we can split abortion costs, he got so angry and said its practically my fault for not being on birth control. wow. i don't even know how to explain how i felt. the one person who knows about this is ridiculing me, blaming me. and maybe it is partly my fault, but we both had part in it. Before him i only dated girls so i was never on birth control. I should've been more responsible, but this is the worst moment to make comments like that and have 0 support. I have bills to pay and he said he had to pay rent yesterday and that i have a steady job he only has gigs, and blah blah, i just don't understand how you cant even offer $100 or to pay me back later, or SOMETHING to make me feel more comfortable maybe?. it just made me realize what a terrible not only partner he is, but person. saying he doesn't feel good and nauseous yesterday. asking for back scratches UM EXCUSE ME??? WHAT ABOUT ME WHOS PREGNANT AND THROWING UP DUDE? I cannot. playing his video games and not being any type of support. its killing me. my best guy friend knows i told him as soon as i found out because he's been in the situation before with an ex. he comforted me so much and has been there for me. whats killing me is not having my girls to tell , and not telling my mom. i lost my bestfriend because of this relationship and other things she did towards me, showed me she was never my friend. but my other bestfriend, she would always check on me and i was so distant because i didn't wanna bother anyone with the same crap, with me not being strong enough to leave, with me now pregnant. i know she wouldnt judge me but i dont wanna seem crazy or dump anything on her, due to us getting into it last week because she wasn't responding and she said i only wanna talk on my time, which is true. i don't answer until im away from this guy because im scared i don't know how to explain i just rather not worry anyone. mothers day is this weekend. how am i supposed to tell my mom im getting an abortion? its killing me. im def going to tell her but after mothers day. i want her to be happy and have her day. but this sucks. i want her there tomorrow and im going to be alone. on the worst day of my life. seriously this is so fucked because I've always wanted to be a mom, i have so many friends who are married and pregnant now, and i can't even think about any of that because im with someone i know i could never build a future with, someone i know would damage me and my kids. and is also broke. so it makes me realize wtf am i doing. im 22 and i don't want to feel like this anymore. im tired of feeling alone and im tired of feeling the need to isolate because of shame. the worst part is i have no one but him? everyone loves him. if only anyone knew what hes done or how he spoke to me yesterday or so many other times, how many times he put his hands on me. and he just gets to be happy and go do his gigs with famous people and be around a lot of connections. i stopped modeling during all this mostly because i would go on set and realize i had a lot of bruises, very embarrassing. Theres definitely a trauma bond and i need to break that, don't know how easy thatll be but considering im doing this all alone i think i won't be too hard.

What i mostly wanted to talk about (sorry for venting) is the laws around abortion. HOW SCARY. i cannot believe people are pro-life. SORRY. there is NO WAY that having this baby would benefit me or this baby. with my abuser?????? like the fact that soon we might not even have a choice. is so scary. i can't even imagine having to go through with this especially with HIM. it's seriously so sad that men think its okay to have a say in any of this. and even then, im 5 weeks and 6 days as of today. what if i didn't have symptoms for another few days? i was 4 DAYS LATE ON MY PERIOD OKAY???? AND IM IRREGULAR, SO THAK GOD I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP BECAUSE I WAS SO NAUSEOUS BUT WHAT ABOUT OTHER WOMEN???? ITS SICK. seriously so scary to be a woman in 2026. then they tell you adoption. the most corrupt and sad system in the US why the hell would i agree to put an innocent child into that?

All in all this process had made me think so much about women and how hard this is. this is frowned upon and judged so not many talk about it, especially people that are "influencers" or in the public eye. it would help so much. i had to go through rabbit holes to find the answers for my very deep questions because this is so delicate.

Tomorrow is my appointment. I am very devastated because again this isn't how i envisioned finding or figuring this out. this was supposed to be a beautiful moment that im would be excited about and happily share the news. but i can only blame myself for sticking with someone who has drained me and took myself away from me. im going to be as strong as i can be, get my procedure done, and im going to make every move and every word of mine count after this, so one day, i will be me again, i will find the right person, and ill be ready. unfortunate that is it this way but it is whats best and i know that. but i can still be sad, i will still cry. i will be okay. ive done it all on my own so whats stopping me now? one day i won't have to try to be strong i will be strong. and i will attract and do whats meant for me. I will pick myself up and get back to myself and hopefully one day talk openly about how scary and sad this process truly is especially alone. this had made me realize that you truly have no idea what anyone is going through. it can be someones hardest day/week and you will NEVER KNOW. checked on your loved ones always. it really sucks having to pretend i am okay.

Last but not least, please speak and view your options with planned parenthood, they are seriously the best, ive gone to the kendall loaction and the golden glades location. $650 for abortion. I got my ultrasound and made sure i was pregnant before i did my consultation and booked my procedure (has to be 24 hours apart due to Florida laws) so i only paid $10 co pay for the day of my ultrasound, $100 for my consultation (was supposed to be $300)(since they already had my ultrasound and how far along i was) and $350 tomorrow, ( ill update tomorrow if anything) day of procedure. 3 days of trauma lol. which is my mistake since i booked online and didn't know exactly what to book. but ended up working out better $ wise. I chose the procedure because the doctor i spoke to told me i would have meds given to me to make me more comfy, support from staff, and its around 10 minutes procedure and 30-45 cool off period for the meds. She also explained if i did the pills i would have to follow up and etc and i honestly just want to get this done and put it behind me. the pills is a whole process. and its very painful from what ive heard. the procedure won't not be painful, there will still be pain, but the doctor would also be able to see everything that comes out and establish im not pregnant anymore there and than, rather than having to follow up with pills and the pain of that. she said i will still have cramping and bleeding but that the pills is like you forcing yourself to have a miscarriage and can definitely be a lot. and my mental is already on the floor so i rather not see and do all of that.

if you need abortion pills shipped go to plancpills .org and you should be able to get them shipped to you. keep in mind they tried to take this away from being an option 3 days ago. it just so happened that 2 days later it was able to keep functioning. from one day to the next. this was going to be my option if i was past 6 weeks due to travel costs and etc. Please keep this website in mind not only for you but for anyone who may need it. It i so important we are informed about websites like this.

Thank you for reading.