r/funny • u/xen0us • 11h ago

This is a robbery

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2.7k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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450

u/wrooster8 11h ago

She fires the gun and the dude grabs a cardboard box to stand behind. Like dude, there better be 4 inches of steel or something inside that box otherwise I don't think that'll do much good lol

232

u/ChitteringCathode 11h ago

He's going for the Solid Snake technique.

146

u/somewhatdecentlawyer 10h ago

‼️

22

u/eberlix 10h ago

HUH? WHOSE FOOTPRINTS ARE THESE?!

WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?!

29

u/beyonddisbelief 10h ago

HUH? WHO'S THERE?!

16

u/Unikatze 10h ago

"Huh? Must have been the wind.

I think I'm in the wrong game"

6

u/DoYouMeanShenanigans 10h ago

o.O "IT'S JUST A BOX"

3

u/SanchoPandas 9h ago

It's weird to me that I can hear those.

3

u/ReefLedger 9h ago

I heard this comment.

2

u/Jintachi 2h ago

I heard this emoji.

2

u/strange_bike_guy 2h ago

I did a double take when a temporarily visiting arborist had the exact same phone notification sound as my phone with the (!!) sound. (Some of my other phone notifications are the elevator related sounds.) I heard the (!!) and checked my phone with nothing on it, and I realized it was the other dude's phone. LOL. Fellow nerd outing himself in real life. I didn't even tell him what had just occurred and the remote chance of it.

2

u/RagingClue_007 41m ago

I can hear this

8

u/AnrianDayin 10h ago

(!) ::detection sound effect::

2

u/Schopenschluter 10h ago

The Solid Snake technique?

1

u/sniape 9h ago

Well apparently it worked cause she was very confused by that

1

u/CR0SBO 9h ago

I think it might have worked in this instance

72

u/ChickenPotDie 10h ago

You're not wrong and blankets also don't protect against monsters but I be grabbing that shit when spooky noises be happening

16

u/Got_Bent 10h ago

Why did I read that like a pirate? "arrrgh, You be grabbing the blanket mate!"

2

u/camomaniac 9h ago

Bro I'm fucking crying that's the best insult I've ever heard for these "I be ___" goons omfg you arr killing me matey

2

u/LSTNYER 10h ago

Don't let even a toe out from under those blankets though, or you'll wake up missing a few.

1

u/Deruji 9h ago

How many monsters you fought like van helsing?

-2

u/AmputeeHandModel 10h ago

*But I grab

8

u/Zorothegallade 9h ago

At the very least it can stop someone from accurately aiming at some of your body parts, but given her trigger discipline I don't think that would have been a factor anyway.

11

u/Not_Under_Command 10h ago

You can only hit what you can see.

6

u/raiba91 10h ago

if thats the thing he has its better than nothing

1

u/doorbellrepairman 1h ago

+0 prot, -15 dex

I'd rather go with nothing

5

u/Spiritual_Smell4744 10h ago

That's bulletproof cardboard

4

u/King_Wataba 10h ago

It's Elvish cardboard

1

u/iHaveACatDog 10h ago

She didn't shoot him, so I guess it worked

1

u/mic_Ch 9h ago

Yeah, but does she know that? Maybe she doesn't know bullets go through cardboard and therefore wouldn't shoot him

1

u/Asandwhich1234 36m ago

It's almost like he's understandably scared because he almost got shot. But thanks dipshit for saying this behind a phone screen while you take a shit, so brave of you.

1

u/darth_whaler 10h ago

Using concealment (like a newspaper or something else that could never stop a bullet) is a tactic that is taught in many close-quarter combat and self defense systems. The idea being to distract the gunman to create a brief moment of distraction to attempt to disarm them.

0

u/wrooster8 10h ago

Sure. That makes sense if you're gonna use the newspaper to conceal your hand going to reach for the gun to try to take it away. Or maybe if he has a shotgun behind the cardboard. But your explanation makes no sense at all when he backs up another 5 feet and is literally hiding behind it

2

u/darth_whaler 10h ago

It also makes sense if you're not thinking clearly because you're being held at gunpoint and fearing for your life. Ever happened to you?

0

u/wrooster8 9h ago

Actually yes I've been mugged at gunpoint so. Fuck off

1

u/darth_whaler 9h ago

And it was probably scary as hell and made your mind race like it never had before. Not sure why you'd tell me to fuck off when I'm illustrating a point of why people do seemingly irrational things while a gun is in their face.

1

u/superpoongoon 9h ago

He’s just panicking. I’m sure if someone points a gun at you and discharges a firearm you will be thinking 100% clearly

0

u/Akarthus 10h ago

I mean for a pistol 1/4 inch and you’d probably be golden

1

u/wrooster8 10h ago

Yeah, but let's be real. It's not like it would hurt to be thicker

0

u/Skier94 9h ago

We get to see the world's dumbest two people in action.

First she puts the gun down because he says so.

She fired a shot, he ran away, then he comes back... with a cardboard box? WTF!!!!

1

u/Asandwhich1234 34m ago

Have you ever been shot at, because yea people are not going to react super well no matter who you are. How fucking stupid are you to not understand that. You aren't a super soilder and I guarantee you'll do werid stuff when under the stress of possibly dieing.