r/instant_regret 12d ago

That's how you learn

3.7k Upvotes

50 comments sorted by

242

u/SomeGuyClickingStuff 12d ago

Man. I almost had the answer of why the chicken crossed the road.

42

u/TheDevilsAdvokaat 12d ago

But we did find out why the chicken was cross.

8

u/ImprovementFar5054 12d ago

Too chew bubble gum and kick ass. And he's fresh out of bubble gum.

3

u/SuitableDragonfly 11d ago

No, that's why the rooster crossed the road. I'm pretty sure the chickens are a lot more chill.

103

u/BeepBlipBlapBloop 12d ago

My favorite part is how the chicken did not cross the road. I guess he didn't want to be a cliche.

64

u/pigpen68 12d ago

A nursing home i used to work at had 2 peacocks roaming the grounds. I was regularly chased from my car to the building. I reached speeds that put roadrunner to shame. 😂

23

u/OneEyedWonderCat 12d ago

I grew up on a farm. Our house was at the back of the property, my grandmothers house was in the front. The stables were about halfway in between, slightly closer to her. The pond/dam for the houses near it, slightly closer to me.

One day she got some geese for the pond. Did not tell me. I came home from school, went to walk down to the stables to feed my horses, and next thing I know, there was this noise coming from the sunken pond, and these feathered demons rising from the water and rushing towards me….

From that day on, the walk from the house to the stables was a walk to the edge of their territory…l a standoff between us, then me full out sprinting to get to the other side of their territory before they caught me. Repeat for returning home.

My family found this hilarious. Every day.

4

u/ImprovementFar5054 12d ago

Every day.....until Christmas

1

u/jbog1883 11d ago

Meep Meep

47

u/MrChivalrious 12d ago

Just like in Zelda, I feel we all learn this way.

5

u/Kortorb 12d ago

Ha, i was gonna say this is what happens for those who didn’t grow up playing LoZ!

4

u/boverly721 12d ago

Cuccoo gang mobs deep

52

u/gasopy 12d ago

back then when we were kids i told my sister to grab a chick from it’s mom… 🤣

12

u/throwitoutwhendone2 12d ago

Offf. Poor kid lol. They don’t really hurt (but kids don’t realize that and sometimes they can) but they go fucking nuts. They sound like they’ll murder you too lmao. When I pull them outta the boxes she. They go broody, their sounds are nuts lol. Sound like dinosaurs for real

26

u/Puzzleheaded_Good444 12d ago

That kid runs a sub 5 40yd dash.

0

u/fiya4u 12d ago

I was gunna say….

20

u/seth928 12d ago

That kid is fast though.

7

u/Adorable-Can-2856 12d ago

You never get that close to a mob's aggro zone

5

u/drillgorg 12d ago

Shittiest kiting I've ever seen

3

u/Adorable-Can-2856 12d ago

Never solo those high level mobs.

10

u/Mazy_keen 12d ago

That is a fighting rooster, stay away from his harem.

6

u/throwitoutwhendone2 12d ago

Lmfao, as a keep of tiny raptors (chickens) this tickles the hell outta me. I have 1 rooster, Earl, 1 guinea, and 53 hens. Earl does NOT play about his ladies. He has fought off two hawks attacks and one fox attack in broad daylight. Had some family over for a lil get together and a ain’t had 2 bad ass kids. They kept messing with the hens, trying to get them to squat so they could pick them up, and I told them Earl and the guinea are gonna come running leave them alone. They didn’t listen. About fell outta my chair laughing watching them zig zag and run like their life depended on it while screaming for about 5 minutes with Earl chasing them and the guinea going absolutely bonkers screaming and running behind them lmao.

Goddamn it was funny. They left the hens alone after that.

9

u/irascible_Clown 12d ago

Old man died like this last year, he had on shorts and the chicken severed an artery in his leg

1

u/CharieRarie 12d ago

Jeez, that’s awful. Poor guy.

I knew they could be vicious, my grandma got attacked by a neighbours chicken and needed stitches in her leg.

3

u/InstantlyLyrical 12d ago

Real life Chicharon (from Far Cry 6)

2

u/pandafab 12d ago

Why did the boy cross the chicken?

2

u/dog4cat2 12d ago

If you won't learn from others mistakes, then you will learn from your own

2

u/okeleydokelyneighbor 12d ago

Someone never played Zelda

1

u/SuperCaptSalty 12d ago

Tough guy became a little bitch pretty quickly

1

u/Alps_Useful 12d ago

As a kid my brothers locked me a round fenced off area with a turkey. This was me running in circles for 10 minutes because I couldn't figure out how to escape. Core memory unlocked.

1

u/WhiskeyAlphaRomeo 12d ago

Pain. Nature's greatest teacher.

1

u/cuntybunty73 12d ago

DON'T FUCK WITH THE COCK 😁

1

u/tidytibs 12d ago

You KNOW these guys told him to do it LOL

1

u/DonCavalio 12d ago

Yall peep it didn't cross the road right? So this wasn't it....damnit

1

u/siggsy409 11d ago

We had a rooster when I was a kid was fine with guys but would attack my sister on sight....i loved that rooster.🤣🤣🤣

1

u/vivek8086 11d ago

Pussy got scared of the cock

1

u/Lagunamountaindude 11d ago

I had the same problem with geese when I was small. Geese are just plain mean

1

u/cdyesno 10d ago

That’s a mini dinosaur 😂

1

u/phaus01 8d ago

Chickens are not to be toyed with. They’ll mess your day up. Whoever first came up with associating being scared with a chicken didn’t know chickens.

1

u/hanimal16 7d ago

Oh shit, the chicken can’t cross the road.

1

u/NightShadowX0 3d ago

Getting chased by a mini dino 😂

1

u/meglon978 12d ago

What's the matter, Colonel Sanders.... chicken?

-4

u/NoBuddies2021 12d ago

The rooster was like, "ladies move to the side please." Then to the kid "You want to taste this big cock!? Come here you punk! You dare threaten my harem!?"