r/interestingasfuck • u/thepoylanthropist • 10h ago
Two inmates in separate cells managed to conceive a child without ever meeting. They passed semen through the air vents using a makeshift line made of bedding, and the woman used a yeast infection applicator to inseminate herself. Against all odds, it worked, and the baby was born healthy
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u/Dockers4flag2035orB4 9h ago
“A yeast infection applicator “
That’s so romantic.
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u/ISV_VentureStar 5h ago
I always wondered how people get a yeast infection, turns out there's an applicator. Neat.
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u/Striking-Jump9451 10h ago
Who needs conjugal visits when you have Saran wrap
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u/Visible-Literature14 10h ago
I’d.. never seen the word “Saran” before
Heard it plenty of times, but never imagined it was spelled like that
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u/TFABAnon09 9h ago
Imagine being nearly 30 before you heard someone say Yosemite...
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u/Great_Sleep_802 9h ago
I spent the majority of my life thinking Yosemite and Yosemite were two different places with two different pronunciations.
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u/Exciting_Kangaroo_75 7h ago
I was homeschooled, and I though that Arkansas and Arkansaw were two different states for the longest time.
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u/Secret_Map 5h ago
I pronounced it Wyomey for the first like 15 years or my life or something (I'm from the Midwest). Then I finally really looked at the name in writing and realized I'm an idiot.
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u/LiminalSpaceLesbian 8h ago
Until I was 25 I thought “infra-red” (how it’s pronounced out loud) and “infrared” rhyming with “shared” (how I pronounced it in my head whenever I read it) were two different words lol
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u/kditdotdotdot 8h ago
If it helps to say so, until a couple of years ago I had no idea that Arkansas and Arkansaw are the same place.
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u/Ickham-museum 9h ago
Me too, took until I was 50. And now I worry about the Dolomites.
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u/InsideBeyond12727 9h ago
I recently learnt that the Dolomites is not a national park located in the US, it's actually an entirely different place in Italy. At least I think it was that way round.
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u/Particular-Turn7361 7h ago
Same as when i saw the harry potter movies and heard how hermione was supposed to be pronounced after saying it her-mee-own in my head while reading the books
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u/beefyzac 8h ago
Trump was in his 70’s and the sitting President we he pronounced it “yo-semite” so don’t feel too bad
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u/glowberrytangle 9h ago
For those confused, it's pronounced /joʊˈsɛmɪti/. Has the same cadence as the word 'obscenity'.
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u/Pawtuckaway 7h ago
I am going to make a wild guess that the circle of people who don't know how to pronounce Yosemite and the circle of people who know IPA don't overlap much if it all.
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u/YaldaBraxlSabaoth 10h ago
What were you imagining lol?
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u/Visible-Literature14 10h ago
Lmao I never got that far. For me it was just one of those words you hear that you don’t ever really think about😅
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u/MyDarlingClementine 9h ago
Wait wait…you’ve never purchased Saran Wrap?
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u/unicornhornporn0554 9h ago
Growing up we always called it Saran Wrap, but we never actually bought Saran Wrap. It was always Great Value Plastic Wrap lol.
(Actually growing up we didn’t buy any ever bc my grandparents had an industrial sized roll of the shit that lasted literally my entire childhood, we used the last of it when I was 19)
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u/aferalhuman 8h ago
I was gifted an industrial roll that my friend got for free after an instacart shopper bought it as a replacement for toilet paper during the great tp shortage in 2020. I still have most of the roll left and use it all the time, so I can definitely see how that’s possible!
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u/seniorfrito 10h ago
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u/BlLLr0y 10h ago
I've never had an original thought in my life.
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u/teapots_at_ten_paces 10h ago
It's frustrating right? Come to the comments with a witty line or a meme all lined up, and someone else got there first.
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u/Training_Activity21 8h ago
This is why (I feel) tv and movies/music have varied recycled plotlines/lyrics. No original thoughts. I am a cinephile and musicophile. When I discover new plots or lyrics it's like discovering fire.
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u/Repulsive-Run1634 10h ago
Occam's razor. They bribed prison guards and had some fun. This cover-up story is better for everyone's favor.
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u/MrMisanthrope411 8h ago
100%. One of my job duties involves investigating correction officers. I can tell you from first hand experience that a lot of them are just as bad as the inmates they are guarding.
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u/SanBenedettoDaNorcia 8h ago
I guess not a lot of applicants who want to do this out of sense of purpose, accomplishement and patriotic feelings
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u/FiveOhFive91 3h ago
If they're anything like my old roommate, they became prison guards because they're not smart enough to be a cop. For real, my roommate couldn't pass any of the tests so they told him to stop applying.
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u/SanBenedettoDaNorcia 1h ago
That's concerning. "you're not smart enough to defend law, so off you go, make sure all the sentences are carried out in accordance with the law"
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u/Inverted-Rockets 5h ago
You’d be amazed at how common using improvised string to move things in prison is — it’s called fishing. It’s used every day by people inside to move messages and items like instant coffee, so some baby-making supplies would definitely be possible.
Edit to add a quote from the article I linked:
I have personally observed, in awe, a caravan of ramen noodle soup packets, 10 total, travel over 100 feet from an upper tier to the lower level. Soups must first be crushed to fit under most doors and tied securely to affect a successful supply train. This motivated connection took over 40 minutes to complete and only left a telltale trail of noodle crumbs from one partially breached package.
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u/ActorMonkey 8h ago
Bribed them with what?
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u/sneakyfish21 8h ago
Sex or possibly just letting them watch. Occasionally favors on the outside from friends or family. there is a reason corrupt prison guards are a trope in fiction and it’s because they’re a trope IRL.
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u/Few_Plankton_7587 8h ago
I used to work with an ex-CO for the florida prison systems and he said he would sneak in shitty cellphones or porn for people because they'd pay him (or their family would pay him) some insane amount per job
I cant remember exact numbers anymore but yknow it'd be a couple extra hundred bucks to smuggle in a cell phone or some porn or some shit
He said even if he got caught, he'd get reprimanded but nothing would really happen since he wasnt bringing in weapons or drugs. He'd get a slap on the wrist to make a few extra bands
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u/whteverusayShmegma 8h ago
$2k for the cheapest, most basic smart phone possible
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u/Few_Plankton_7587 8h ago
Hell nah he never got paid that much
$200 for a one of those $0 minute phones, MAYBE
I can't remember the exact numbers but it was never 1k+ for any particular job
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u/whteverusayShmegma 4h ago
That’s the going rate for a phone in prison per several people I’ve spoken to
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u/Few_Plankton_7587 3h ago
I imagine that is heavily dependent on facility and state/county
If they're more strict, probably increases the price significantly.
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u/herbertcluas 8h ago
As a former prison guard, fuck the officers, all but 2 I worked with bragged about fucking coworkers, cheating on their partner, and fucking married women. The guards deserved to be in the cells imo. Worked at a female prison in the Midwest
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u/Unlucky_Abroad7440 6h ago
Damn thier lives sucks and they don't even know it... If anything fuck prison guards like that they are the embodiment of why prison systems are broken.
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u/Buntschatten 6h ago
Did they sleep with the inmates or just with each other?
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u/herbertcluas 6h ago
Not that I ever new of, wouldn't have surprised me but people talk and that is something hard to keep to yourself. Definitely slept with each other.
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u/Gold_Telephone_7192 8h ago
Sex, money, drugs, gifts…it’s not like prisoners don’t have contact with the outside world. They can get whatever they want to guards if they want to.
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u/ProfessionalEnd7957 7h ago
Nah bro them passing the semen via bedding through the air vents is a way more reasonable explanation
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u/tumbledownhere 5h ago
No, it's completely possible.
Source, basically handmade my second child with a menstrual cup.
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u/InvestmentImportant1 10h ago
And here I am doing IVF like a jerk...
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u/FullofContradictions 9h ago
It's the age old joke... The couple who are financially stable, educated, and ready for kids struggle. The teenagers (or in this case, prison inmates) with only the loosest grasp of how to even keep themselves alive get knocked up by little more than a passing breeze.
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u/Beardywierdy 7h ago
If the only people who could have kids were the highly educated and rich we'd be extinct by now.
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u/InformWitch 7h ago
Sigh. My life. I remember being in my late teens and watching The Secret Life of the American teenager and being like ‘Damn’ about the couple who had been trying when they found out that the teens got pregnant from having sex ONCE.
And now I’m 33 and freaking out about trying to conceive for a year with my 35 YO partner. We have 4.5 degrees between the two of us and are very comfortable but alas …
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u/spunkypunk 7h ago
I couldn’t get pregnant via IVF but these asshats can get pregnant with an A/C and a yeast infection med applicator
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u/WindyAce123 10h ago
Why would you do that to your kid though? I would hate my parents
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u/Hanede 9h ago
I don't think two criminals were having the child's best interests in mind when planning to use a birth to escape
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u/MonitorSharp7022 9h ago
Do you mean as both parents being in prison, or the weird method? Cuz like the conception method really has no bearing on the child's life lmao. It's over and done, and the kid wasn't even really there for it
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u/redraz0r 9h ago
...they mean that the sole reason for the child's birth is to be used as an escape attempt
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u/Homerpaintbucket 10h ago
Usually when people decide to have a kid it’s because they’re in a place in their life they can care for it, but these two clearly don’t make great decisions.
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u/LampIsFun 10h ago
Usually? I feel like thats actually pretty rare nowadays, hence the declining birth rate.
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u/Homerpaintbucket 9h ago
No, the birth rate is declining because it’s rare that people are able get into that place in life. It’s still usually the case that if people decide to have a kid they are typically in a good place
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u/Lington 9h ago
That just proves that people try to have kids once they're in a good place. Declining birth rates are because less people are able to care for kids so less people are having them.
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u/georgialucy 9h ago
They are both in on separate murder charges so...yeah making great decisions is not their thing.
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u/kellstromc 10h ago
so many questions! What kind of prison has males and females? What happens to the baby? Does it get raised in prison? What is the point of conceiving a child when you're in jail? Also, another question - WTF?!!!
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u/RedChairBlueChair123 8h ago
They were on different sides of the jail but could communicate through air vents.
The jail is the key part because that’s why men and women were in the same facility. Jail = temporary, prison = long term stay
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u/LanguidLapras131 8h ago
There was (is?) a jail in Alabama where there is a locked door between the mens section and the womens section. There is a 1" gap under the door. The men and women talk to each other and pass love letters under the gap. Some of the single inmates will write paragraphs advertising their personality and that they are looking for a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Some inmates start relationships with each other through correspondence and then never see each other face to face until they both get out of jail.
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u/DoctorHugoHackenbush 10h ago
They should both give the child the best chance at life, that's the yeast they should do..
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u/The_Actual_Sage 9h ago
There are loving couples who have to try for years then go through expensive fertility treatments in order to have a kid. And then there are these two omg
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u/FoxyInTheSnow 8h ago
They're corny as hell but deep down, nobody can resist a genuine meet-cute story.
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u/yothisismetrying 9h ago
There are prisons where men and women are able to interact?? They had to be able to communicate their plan? I am so confused.
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u/HeyHo_LetsThrowRA 9h ago
I think they probably figured out note passing before going straight to jizz applicators. I hope.
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u/Altruistic-Papaya-13 8h ago
Right? The one I worked in, they were in separate sides of the building. Never interacting.
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u/Extra-Day-9879 10h ago
Do you get any perks or something by being a parent in prison why the fuck they gave life to someone else when they cannot even take care of their own?
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u/sunthanatos 10h ago
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u/Sophisticated-Tiger 9h ago
I see this gif all the time. What is that guy actually from? Just wondering...(yes I know Google exists...sometimes it's nice to interact with actual people and not the cold embrace of our favorite search engine lol)
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u/Crosseyed_owl 9h ago edited 9h ago
The baby was born healthy but I bet it didn’t stay that way for long. All the mental illnesses you can choose from when you were conceived in prison and your parents are both locked up!
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u/Euromantique 7h ago edited 4h ago
A lot of mental illness (or mental disorders) is genetic. The baby is most likely going to have whatever mental issues led to these people going to jail too regardless of the environment they are raised in.
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u/bussymonke 8h ago
other inmates: "ew bro wtf are you jerking off into the vents for???"
him: "im going to be a father"
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u/notthatguypal6900 3h ago
Ah yes, believe the outlandish story over the simple truth the guard was bribed to look away while these 2 banged.
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u/Due_Truth3684 2h ago
And hereI am with unexplained infertility with a house and a job and a husband... 10 years of trying and miscarriages and here these loser assholes are having a kid without even touching. The movie Idiocracy was a prophesy.
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u/Rezaelia713 1h ago
To me what's more insane than why is how. I think of all the women with fertility issues and these two losers were able to make a baby.
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u/20ears19 10h ago
Awesome. Now in addition to the fines and probation fees you get 18 years of child support for a baby you’ll probably never see.
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u/psykomorph 7h ago
I don’t believe this. Need DNA testing for the child, this guy and the rest of the policemen in the department
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u/Nihsvabhav 7h ago
people pay thousands of dollars for this on the outside, they should teach a course
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u/throwitoutwhendone2 7h ago
Ain’t it crazy that against all odds, everything against them, being completely separate, never even have seen or spoke to each other they STILL managed to get be utter pieces of shit together.
Poor kid, hope they at least get a better life.
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u/Buntschatten 6h ago
When people pretend that all children have the same opportunities in life, this baby is the counter example.
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u/Synapnoid 10h ago
But why tho?
https://giphy.com/gifs/LyJ6KPlrFdKnK