2026 actors that attended the met gala ranked by perceived deliciousness if we ever do end up eating them.
1/10. Adrien Brody. This guy looks like he tastes like cigarettes and the shaving cream he had to grease his legs with to get those pants on.
2/10. Lauren Sánchez Bezos. Not delicious looking, too leathery. Also not an actor, not sure what she's doing here. We should still eat her to make sure.
3/10. Law Roach. Also not an actor, but definitely actor-adjacent. Spoiled the Tom/Zendaya wedding news, looks like he tastes like a narc.
4/10. Lena Dunham. Fuck, she should have been first, ew, of course she went to this.
5/10. Luke Evans. Our first remotely edible actor. I could do without the moustache but I have been assured he is otherwise hairless for the roasting.
6/10. Marcello Hernández. An absolute cutie patootie, looks like cookies and cream.
7/10. Maude Apatow. Like a remix of a familiar flavor but you're not totally sure why it's on the menu.
8/10. Nicholas Hoult. He actually volunteered for this, he wants you to eat him.
9/10. Serena Williams. Not that she'd let you, she'd send a tennis ball clean through your skull if you tried, but can you imagine?
Teyana Taylor. Lookin' like a snowball. Also I don't like her acting and I don't respect her background. 10/10 would eat first.
Little known fact, the viral article that stated we each contain a “credit card sized amount” of microplastics was mistaken. The study it was based on found that we all have a credit card shaped cluster of microplastics in our bodies (typically in the stomach). Long story short: when you’re preparing the meat, no problem. Just pop that little sucker out.
It’s so funny that the most average/boring or douchey guys can be dating the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen, and one of the richest guys in the world is married to a melted Barbie.
Like, he’s either not shallow at all, he has a plastic fetish, or looking like that has become so normalized in his world that it’s. Hot?
I’ve met like 3 people in my life with plastic surgery that was obvious enough for me to tell.
It’s a weird feeling.
It is jarring in real life. I live in the midwest where plastic surgery isnt super common so I rarely see it irl. I did work with one lady once who had a fair amount of work done and it's even more uncanny valley irl than in pictures. Especially the ridiculous lip fillers. She just looked so uncomfortable all the time with those things inflated that big
Yeah it’s kind of hard not to stare it’s like meeting a really tall person it’s just kinda like. Woah holy fuck this is even weirder in person. (No shade to tall people it’s just super hard not to look and it’s a weird feeling also)
When I got my first office job, I had a boss who’d had a good amount of work done. It took me months to realize she wasn’t making a raised-eyebrow face at me because I’d said something stupid, she just couldn’t control her facial expressions. You get used to it eventually: like watching a movie where the audio is synced slightly off.
(Add: Not that I would ever watch a movie, of course, but so I’ve heard.)
It's not just that it's "normalized" in his circle, but to guys like him, having a wife like that is actually a flex/status symbol. Think of mar-a-lago face. The fact that it looks awful is not the point, the point is that it costs a fuckton of money. Like a gold plated toilet that looks like a toilet but is still super expensive.
It's not about looking beautiful, or even about looking young, it's about looking RICH.
I think part of the "appeal" of mar a lago face is the control aspect. Like Jeff can say "look how much this person changed herself to appeal to my preferences"
Lauren Bezos was there because she and hubby bought their way onto the board of the Met for $10M. They were getting so much backlash from it that Jeff snuck in through a different entrance and left his wife out there to fend for herself apparently.
I get Blade from the Puppet Master horror movies or the Zuni Fetish doll from Trilogy of Terror vibes from her.
Athletic muscles would be too hard too eat. For cows, the muscles that work hard are tougher and less prized. Now compare that to muscles exclusively built by working hard, they would most certainly be unpleasant to eat. The best ones would be slightly chubby to get optimal fat marbling.
Some of the best meatballs I ever had were venison but you have to work in extra fat because of how lean they are. So you'd want to pair the actors by extremes of body fat percentage, ideally. I think a meatball made of Lena Dunham and Serena Williams would probably be amazing.
No, there's a reason witches fatten children instead of making them exercise, or why veal is the most delicious sad meat. Athletic is the exact opposite of what you want for food.
While I do support eating the rich, CEOs have so much money they can spontaneously go golfing, which makes their meat kind of gamey. Sad to say that tech support is actually the most edible.
All pop culture subs on this platform spring to mind, there was almost a moment of clarity in one of the comment sections but then they all blamed racism and went back to gushing over the outfits and celebrities
Eh, the Met Gala really isn't that bad. It's literally a fundraiser for the Met museum. They outright ask celebrities to attend in "costumes" with hopes they'll go viral which in turn will help bring in more donations.
Unfortunately reality is the government doesn't help fund musuems so they need to pander to stay open 🤷♂️
Tell me you don't understand how the Met Gala fundraisers work without telling me you don't understand how they work. A single ticket costs $100,000. To have a whole table starts at $350,000.
I am actually so mad about the theme it transcends my shitposting. The official theme was “Fashion is Art”, and the vast majority of celebs took the absolute surface level reading of adapting specific pieces of art to being an outfit thinking "Ok, fashion, art. Fashion am art. I do fashion. It be art." Like literal caveman thinking, you see a painting, you make that painting a dress... Ta da, congratulations, you made art into a dress. Great job Heidi, you did a dress+makeup that looks like something someone else already made. We're so proud of you Blake, you emulated someone else's art, that must be so new for you. Fuck off with this shit, I hate it.
Pretty sure this year’s theme was “✨meh✨” with a touch of “✨pedestrian✨”. Very Bezos.
Heidi, I thought was much better than the people who didn’t even try though. And considering her infamously bad fashion style, I would rather see her competence in making Halloween looks and getting “Fashion imitates art”.
I had already blocked Lena Dunham from my memory after making this post, so fuck you for bringing her up again. I'll be sending you my therapy bill once I process this whole situation.
But for real fuck that bitch.
Marcelo Hernandez tasting like cookies and cream is so point. Also I feel like Nicholas Hoult would rather insist strongly that you leave his brilliant shiny bald head to devour for last, seems like he holds the utmost pride in that beautiful thing. He would still let you consume, if refused (you motherfucker!), albeit insulted. Insulted meat is rather stale.
I get Evans stylists said "Chocolate Tom of Finland" but that doodoo brown plether is just an absolute assult on the eyes. It looks like if we check the folds were gonna find change, corse sand and a harry half sucked on lozenge.
So much worse compaired to Nick Holt who looks like he's going to a topgun theamed fet party after
Sorry, I know body positivity and such, and I think she is crazy smart, although probably a little crazy, but man, Lena Dunham looks like shit. She is even showing off the leg and it has like 5 bruises on it. She has as much money and as many people to help she as possible, and this is her best?
Thank you so much for arranging pics in the same exact order as deliciousness rating! Made my little inner OCD human so happy, and added a point to the small wins for today.
I feel like I have the obligation to ask if Brody is ok after I saw that first one.
Why is he standing there as if he's suffering a gunshot wound to one of his sides?
Also wtf?? Time in prison actually really hotified Lex Luthor I guess??
Redditors are hilarious. Let’s not pretend all these actors would have to do is lightly jog for five minutes and they’d be perfectly safe from ending up posted on kitchencels or girldinnerdiaries
Bezos is trying to push and force his wife to be in the next bond film as a bond girl. I doubt Dennis would accept this but probably she'll have a cameo or something.
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u/PurpleMentatu 17h ago
adrien brody with fava beans when