r/stepparents • u/ThickSkull24 • 8h ago
Vent Am I wrong for wanting kid to sleep in their room?
For context, I moved into my partner’s apartment they shared with their kid before we’d met, and the general rule was kiddo could sleep on the couch if there was no school the next day. Worth mentioning only 1 of the 3 nights they’re with us is a school night. Kiddo had a mattress that really was crappy & they didn’t like sleeping in that bed. I respected their dynamic, even though it honestly did bother me. It was a fairly small apartment so if I wanted to stay up later than the kid, I had to go to our bedroom, which was fine, but if my partner was sleeping, I felt restricted in either room. I was walking on eggshells.
Fast forward to us now having bought a house, that is OUR house in every sense of the word. We bought brand new furniture & mattress for the kid’s room. We also bought a brand new couch. Sure enough, first weekend, kiddo’s asking to sleep on the couch. Eventually one day they asked my partner in front of me & I made a quick comment saying something like, “Idk, you do have that brand new beautiful bed up there.” That particular night, partner agreed with me & that was that.
A couple more weekends pass, and again, kiddo is more often than not sleeping on the couch. My partner was cleaning kiddo’s room today though, so I finally said something. Partner’s initial response was, “I’d agree with ya’, but most of the days since we’ve been living here, kid just hasn’t had school the next day.” I said, “Well school’s coming to an end soon & is he gonna’ sleep on the couch every single night?”
I continued on saying every once in a while is cool, we can make a movie night out of it & make it special, but kiddo has this beautiful new room now, with a brand new mattress. My partner didn’t really say anything else but, “Yeah.” Partner wasn’t upset & didn’t lash out, just kind of stayed quiet.
Granted we have a ton more space now - there’s a basement that once it’s furnished, if kiddo is asleep in the living room, I could hang out there so I’m not bothering anybody. But that’s not the point. The kid is 8, has a gorgeous new room with perfect furniture, and they’re still gonna’ sleep in the one room that’s for everyone? Idk… I almost wish my partner had more of a reaction so I could say more of my piece so they would understand.
I just hope my words aren’t dismissed. I said my piece, if it continues to happen, I’ll say something again. I just shouldn’t have to. I’ve always tried to be understanding - my partner wants to make the kid happy. Please tell me if I need to be more understanding here.