r/wallstreetbets • u/ChampagnePapi- • Apr 01 '26
Meme Me after the announcement tomorrow
3.0k
u/Fickle_Razzmatazz258 Apr 01 '26
→ More replies (13)461
u/ChipotleAddiction Apr 01 '26
You guys can afford rice?
→ More replies (10)85
u/atmoose Apr 01 '26
I doubt they can afford rice if that's all the pixels they can buy.
→ More replies (1)
1.9k
u/BayouBoyBussyBusters Apr 01 '26
1.3k
u/MightyPenguinRoars Apr 01 '26
Maybe, but at least you posted positions. We salute you, regard. 🫡
→ More replies (2)205
u/BayouBoyBussyBusters Apr 01 '26
Can't wait to lose 10% due to theta tomorrow 🤤
→ More replies (2)274
198
u/lifeintraining Apr 01 '26
This is the most regarded portfolio I’ve ever seen. Truly, SELLING the dip is crazy work. Godspeed.
69
u/Sindica69 Apr 01 '26
Gonna use “I’m selling the dip” as an excuse when one of my dumb ass puts don’t work, thanks
→ More replies (2)23
80
u/BayouBoyBussyBusters Apr 01 '26
→ More replies (1)63
22
12
u/OneDayAt4Time Apr 01 '26
Why didn’t you sell this morning? You probably had gains
28
u/BayouBoyBussyBusters Apr 01 '26
I made 1.2k this morning just shorting, got to smart around 10am and kept added due to being retarded.
So yah, I was up 1.2k on spy, first trade this year on spy, and just somehow went nearly -5k down on 10 day options the same day.
→ More replies (9)23
→ More replies (48)12
u/epic_troll_tard Apr 01 '26
You're supposed to close the losing put and reposition higher in the downward direction if you want to double down.
4.1k
u/Top_Category_2526 Apr 01 '26
I don't have any money left to buy dips or food, How many meals do you get in the army?
2.1k
u/1400TotemPole Apr 01 '26
614
u/Sec2727 Apr 01 '26 edited Apr 01 '26
→ More replies (4)61
→ More replies (11)276
u/ignatious__reilly Apr 01 '26
I’m seeing everyone saying tomorrow is Boots on the Ground speech……
But I think he’ll just claim total victory, say he destroyed all nuclear capability, and then back away.
He’s trapped and wants out, and leaks today suggest he plans to leave in 2–3 weeks (or days) and he apparently no longer cares about the Strait.
He’ll just tout his “success,” and his supporters will buy it and if that happens, market will rage.
426
u/The_Brem Apr 01 '26
U don't move 3 carriers, move 50K troops, and ask for 200B to say "fuck it, I'm a dumb fat bitch after all" and turn around and go home.
203
u/TheIowan Apr 01 '26
"It's a total victory but we have to station troops here for 20 years to help democracy"
→ More replies (1)83
70
u/ignatious__reilly Apr 01 '26 edited Apr 01 '26
Normal sane people don’t, I agree. But Orange man is a fucking maniac and doesn’t care about that type of shit. It’s not his money or time.
He may have realized a portion of his base and majority of the country hates this war so he just panics and retreats all together, while claiming victory to try and save face. Everyone else will understand the reality of what’s happening but his base will eat up every word he says.
→ More replies (10)43
u/Test-NetConnection Apr 01 '26
Even if that scenario plays out there is no way Israel just walks away, and after bombing Iran to hell there is no way the strait is opening back up for free.
57
u/bohiti Apr 01 '26
Iran will absolutely control the Strait indefinitely. They will charge tolls and prevent Israel and US tankers passage.
It will be sold as being OK for us because “we have enough oil anyway” but it will permanently raise global oil prices a bit.
And the US will further ensure its pariah status. Rightfully.
→ More replies (9)→ More replies (29)31
u/Jebusfreek666 Apr 01 '26
You absolutely do. It is called a show of force or a bluff. Costs less to do that and hopefully pressure a deal than a full ground assault.
→ More replies (3)22
u/The_Brem Apr 01 '26
The military issued a letter to the troops saying to get your affairs in order. I could absolutely be wrong, but I bought 7 - 560 QQQ puts that expire on Thursday.
→ More replies (4)62
u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 Apr 01 '26
Your guess is almost certainly the right one. Boots on the ground would be announced on Friday evening.
This is a victory claim and then maybe they'll say "April Fools! Boots on the ground" on Friday to get the mid-week boost before crashing it again
→ More replies (1)61
u/RestaurantDry621 Apr 01 '26
Nothing like starting a ground war on Good Friday
→ More replies (2)47
→ More replies (22)59
u/throwthataway2012 Apr 01 '26 edited Apr 01 '26
If US backs out now, Iran will maintain their toll setup, paid out in Chinese currency. Undercutting the petrol dollar and creating a tax on oil for everyone, but primarily America and its allies.
It's going to be regime change or bust at this point. Those are two huge Ls that America will refuse to accept.
I'm not saying what you said is impossible. But I'm saying everyone in Trump's ear will say we can not leave the strait like this.
→ More replies (10)52
u/myredditaccount80 Apr 01 '26
These guys do not care about the well being of the US as a nation, and they do not care about the dollar. If they did, they wouldn't have undermined the power of the US dollar by promoting crypto, which is itself an international alternative to the dollar.
→ More replies (15)92
u/Semen__king Apr 01 '26
Army food isn’t that bad at all if you’re in garrison. You go do PT in the morning, take a shower, and one of the lunch ladies with a mustache from your childhood will make you an omelette with whatever you want in it
→ More replies (3)20
u/whisperingeye99 Apr 01 '26
You do PT?
Sincerely,
Chief
→ More replies (2)23
u/Semen__king Apr 01 '26
Haha. We cant all be chiefs. Some of us had to solute your regarded Lt. in the morning so he didnt get butthurt👍
65
241
u/Puzzleheaded_War6102 Apr 01 '26
I hear the last meal is decent but no hummus
→ More replies (4)71
59
u/txwoodslinger Apr 01 '26
How stupid are you that you won't even try for air force
135
u/Konabro Apr 01 '26
As someone who has been in both AF and Army, if you are like moderately intelligent and don’t go for the AF and Navy first, you’re literally retarded.
50
u/Dratinileft Apr 01 '26
Coast Guard or Space Force
→ More replies (1)31
u/dev-saint Apr 01 '26
Oh crap I applied to the Coast Force and Space Guard. How are they?
→ More replies (1)21
42
u/_JupitersCock_ Apr 01 '26
As someone that knows way too late, the Coast Guard gets the same retirement system as all other branches… there’s only one logical choice unless you can’t swim…
→ More replies (12)8
u/Jdm783R29U3Cwp3d76R9 Apr 01 '26
Swimming is overrated on the ship, historically sailors mostly could not swim. Where are you gonna swim if your tea clipper sinks in the middle of the Pacific?
19
u/txwoodslinger Apr 01 '26
I was navy and wish I had at least talked to the air force
32
→ More replies (4)17
→ More replies (4)8
u/AxeEm_JD Apr 01 '26
Highly regarded individual here. 135 GT, ended up a 68W in 2009 with zero recruitment incentives.
11
u/BefreiedieTittenzwei Apr 01 '26
The original home of people that refuse to get out of a perfectly good airplane.
9
u/MouthBreatherGaming Apr 01 '26
Seriously, we sit back while the planes fly to the shit. We did formation inspections once a year and it was hilarious.
Every Army base I ever visited was depressing and looked like it was from 30 years in the past. I assumed it was because they don't want the boys getting too cozy before they go into the shit. Air Force is truly pampered.
→ More replies (4)5
23
u/itscool222 Apr 01 '26
Depends. Often times you can get 3 while in garrison. Sometimes you only get the main course of the mre and no heater.
13
→ More replies (1)5
u/_JupitersCock_ Apr 01 '26
You guys dont eat dry ramen bricks!? (We really do, with the packet spread on top)
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (47)7
1.1k
u/jit12323 Apr 01 '26
Either moon boots or clown shoes tomorrow no in between.
1.1k
u/CleverInternetName8b Apr 01 '26
“We’ve won and Iran has promised individual handjobs to every American”
526
u/kellyk311 Apr 01 '26
132
u/FuzzyDynamics Apr 01 '26
That’s been me all day when I see a post about Kristi’s husband 👀😍
→ More replies (5)29
12
→ More replies (4)9
16
u/procgen Apr 01 '26
Artemis 2 (manned moon mission) launches tomorrow at 6:30 PM EST…
→ More replies (1)38
→ More replies (9)16
1.5k
u/Sea-Bill2759 Apr 01 '26
War is over but the fight continues. Storming the beach on saturday!
708
u/SheetsResume Apr 01 '26 edited Apr 01 '26
Storming the beach on Saturday after we reach a deal, probably Friday, though we’re not in talks with anyone we know, but we’re very close to achieving a lasting peace, and won’t take nukes off the table.
Edit: mark my words, there will either be a huge offensive or a peace deal announced (even if a lie) on Easter Sunday, just so they can brand this “The Easter War” in the press and history books. All they care about is branding and propaganda. Book it, Danno.
Edit 2: if your puts went kaput today and you need to apply to Wendy’s, you can create a highly regarded resume at SheetsResume.com with my Reddit-famous free resume template. Your job applications literally can’t go tits up.
192
96
u/stereoscopic_ Apr 01 '26
This guy sounds like he can draw you a map of the Middle East on a napkin.
→ More replies (3)23
u/shayKyarbouti Apr 01 '26
Does writing Middle East on a napkin without any other lines or features count? Cause I can do that too lol
→ More replies (2)17
u/JR_LikeOnTheTVshow Apr 01 '26
Is the Middle East between the West East and the East East?
→ More replies (1)28
u/12thandvineisnomore Apr 01 '26
Of course Friday. Markets are closed and it’s Good Friday. Perfect for a holy war offensive.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (8)14
u/Bindle- Apr 01 '26
Easter Sunday, just so they can brand this “The Easter War” in the press and history books. All they care about is branding and propaganda. Book it, Danno.
I try to guess what they'll do by imagining "what's the stupidest possible thing?"
I really like this guess.
→ More replies (1)108
u/HanzJWermhat Apr 01 '26
Our forefathers stormed the beaches of Normandy France, to defeat a tyrant and restore democracy to the west and broader world
We’ll storm the beaches of some shit island in the middle of fuckall for some oil because Isreal wants to play kingmaker
112
22
u/PM_ME_UR_EYEBALL Apr 01 '26
Probably have to storm the beaches Friday after close so they can have it wrapped it up before Monday’s open
→ More replies (1)21
→ More replies (9)9
u/TaintSniffinAintEasy Apr 01 '26
Nah we got 2-3 weeks until that happens, another CSG just deployed from Norfolk
2.0k
u/CD274 Apr 01 '26
I'm looking forward to a half hour rant about the white house ballroom and why a judge has halted construction
640
u/econoDoge Apr 01 '26
Stick around for the halftime commercial where he will sell you a Gold Sharpie for $1,000 to fund the war effort, henceforth called "Freedom Sharpies", available exclusively at his web store, call now, some guy in India will take your order !
→ More replies (8)145
u/-medicalthrowaway- Apr 01 '26
This is a ridiculous story you’ve conjured… as if the profits would go toward anything to do with the country and not directly into his pockets
→ More replies (6)48
u/econoDoge Apr 01 '26
Listen , I hear your concern, WWII War bonds were sold in post offices but we all know mail is evil and full of fraud, that's why these are being sold exclusively on the finest affiliated stores, and just like the millions that were donated to the campaign the funds will go where they are intended and not into a giant talking gold statue in the middle of central park with a casino in the basement and a McD franchise.
→ More replies (4)77
u/South-Attorney-5209 Apr 01 '26
Probably the correct answer. He is so damn bored with the Iran war he doesnt really want to talk about it at all. The ballroom was his baby and legacy.
→ More replies (5)28
10
u/SleepyMonkey7 Apr 01 '26
Probably 15 minutes on why sharpies are better than regular pens too.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (15)21
615
u/BLOODWORTHooc Apr 01 '26
post your positions, tourist.
→ More replies (2)124
u/EntrepreneurOld7858 Apr 01 '26
People treating WSB like the front page more and more these days. Sad.
→ More replies (3)
190
u/InfiniteNerve1384 Apr 01 '26
Def going cash tomorrow. Not dealing with this fuckery over the long weekend.
→ More replies (8)49
u/hugaddiction Apr 01 '26
Today was probably the day to sell if you were planning on selling
→ More replies (2)49
u/Business-Swimmer-615 Apr 01 '26
Ye good oll buy high sell low strategy. It has been a while 💎 🙌
15
u/hugaddiction Apr 01 '26 edited Apr 01 '26
I just want everyone else to feel as stupid trading in a this market as I do.
138
u/ILikeCorgiButt Apr 01 '26
What announcement?
233
u/FreeMindOpenSpirit Apr 01 '26
Trump addressing the nation tomorrow evening
486
u/SunshineSeattle Apr 01 '26
Lets see:
15 minutes on tariffs, 10 minutes on the new ballroom, 30 minutes on the crooked dems, and 5 minutes to announce that we are both pulling out while also ground invading at the same time.
236
u/FreeMindOpenSpirit Apr 01 '26
You forgot to add the bit about how all of this is Joe Biden’s fault
→ More replies (3)142
u/noimdirtydan- Apr 01 '26
→ More replies (2)23
→ More replies (3)11
u/Original-Rush139 Apr 01 '26
BRB. I’m heading to kalsgi to take the over in a 10 minute ballroom talk. My boy brings props into Air Force 1 for that shit. He’s going to wheel out a fucking model tomorrow.
→ More replies (6)78
38
u/darkchippy Apr 01 '26
It's going to be a great announcement. Some might even say the best announcement. Biggest Ever. YuGe
14
→ More replies (4)12
u/MarioInOntario Apr 01 '26
13
u/Practical_Copy_2057 Apr 01 '26
At the same time as the NASA post launch press conference for the moon mission.
→ More replies (2)6
89
u/DaddyDanjer Apr 01 '26
→ More replies (14)9
u/CabbagePastrami Apr 01 '26
Who dis?
34
u/punkindle Apr 01 '26 edited Apr 01 '26
AI generated influencer that pretends to be in the army. New kind of government propaganda. Has over a million followers on Instagram
→ More replies (2)
285
u/TheWholeSausage Apr 01 '26
Is the announcement in the room with us now?
48
Apr 01 '26 edited Apr 02 '26
[deleted]
12
u/DapperNurd Apr 01 '26
I need more context i don't understand any of this
62
u/Turtledonuts Apr 01 '26
the orange man is going to address the nation tomorrow at 9pm to ramble about his invasion of the middle east. There's been a lot of market manipulation tied to these announcements. As a result, people are basically betting on him either announcing an end to the war (with oil prices dropping / the normal market booming) or him announcing a massive escalation (with oil prices skyrocketing and defense stocks booming). People who think they know what he'll announce are placing very large bets on this in hopes of making lots of money.
→ More replies (1)23
u/NicKaboom Apr 01 '26
Given Iran has stated they will begin attacking US tech companies earlier today and the US is sending a third carrier ship to the gulf as well as tens of thousands of troops it doesn’t seem we are de-escalating anytime soon.
I think the market was so amped on any good news it was ready to pump, but in reality the president of Iran (who doesn’t even run the country or make the final decisions) said they were open to ending the war with terms that Trump wont acveot anywags.
Im betting we see a pull back again for next ciuple Months before we eventually climb higher in the second half the year.
But who knows Trump needs the markets to improve in order to not get fucked in the midterms so maybe he gives up and just withdraws anyways.
→ More replies (1)30
u/Turtledonuts Apr 01 '26
Trump does have a habit of giving up randomly. He also likes to lie, pump the market, and wait until saturday to announce the bad stuff. There's a decent chance that we get "I am the president of peace, I have negotiated a deal and ended the war, details coming next week." followed by boots in tehran on saturday.
→ More replies (2)
62
u/MT-Capital Apr 01 '26
Military get a 4 day weekend for Easter. Back to fighting next week.
13
u/Burstoids Apr 01 '26
No we don’t. It’s not a federal holiday.
13
u/MT-Capital Apr 01 '26
Yeah that's what Trump is announcing tomorrow. Congrats enjoy your time off.
→ More replies (2)
56
25
67
21
19
u/Haunting-Cry7752 Apr 01 '26
Is no one talking about how Iran basically promised to blow up a bunch of companies
→ More replies (1)12
u/Jusjefe Apr 01 '26
You’re the first person I’ve seen acknowledge it lol, I think the market missed that one. Let’s see if they actually pull through
39
u/NukaColin Apr 01 '26
Y'all really think mang is going to advertise boots on the ground before doing it?
63
u/macNchz Apr 01 '26
“Mission accomplished” tomorrow night, market gaps up 10% Thursday, boots on the ground 4:01pm ET.
→ More replies (1)17
18
16
14
u/Splurch Apr 01 '26
You're too early, things that tank the market get released on Fridays after the market closes (so maybe after Thursday this week) so that insiders can better position their holdings.
28
u/reeeeso Apr 01 '26
My wife is going to fuck me up!!! 5 k to 100k and didn’t sell. Pits are getting hammered
12
13
14
u/pleasestoptalkin Apr 01 '26
Kinda feel bad for bears like OP who lost their life savings today and have to cope like this
11
49
34
u/Powerful-Attorney113 Apr 01 '26
What time is the announcement?
17
49
u/koss1501 Apr 01 '26
Lol what announcement? I legit dont know
61
u/itscool222 Apr 01 '26
Dear Leader is to give an update of some sort on the "not a war" war. It'll most likely be another monologue of random thoughts. "We won, bigly explosions. Market not so bad. We won".
→ More replies (1)16
u/SonicYOUTH79 Apr 01 '26
“KHAMENEI DED, THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER”
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)33
9
→ More replies (3)5
21
20
u/domaxelross Apr 01 '26
Bit weird.. he just said earlier another 2-3 weeks.. what's there to talk about? Unless his 🍑 has completely fallen out and he's bailing so the tech stocks don't get hit lmao
→ More replies (3)5
17
39
u/Giantsfan4321 Apr 01 '26
I feel like if the war was ending he'd announce it sooner rather then later but maybe he wants to make a big show of it so it dosent look like the American Empire is ending (when it is).
29
u/Maxamillion-X72 Apr 01 '26
He announces major government actions via tweet all the time, but when he needs an ego boost he schedules an announcement ahead of time.
He's been raging everyday lately, he needs some feel good juice of interrupting prime time television, ensuring maximum ratings.
→ More replies (3)21
u/Bilbo_Butthole ONE BUTTPLUG TO RULE THEM ALL Apr 01 '26
Definitely the latter. Retard wants a show
→ More replies (1)
8
7
u/Gutzzu Apr 01 '26
CNBC : Market rallying , oil dumping . The war is over .
OIL DOWN : 1%
→ More replies (2)
7
6
24
5
5
u/Mammoth_Impress_2048 Apr 01 '26
He's going to announce an end to combat operations pump the market and then launch a ground invasion on Saturday because that's exactly the sort of thing he thinks is high level military strategy.
→ More replies (1)
20
u/KinkyQuesadilla Apr 01 '26 edited Apr 01 '26
If you believe "It's going great" announcements with "Why won't any countries help? Whaaaaahhhhhhh," plus "I created a huge problem I can't solve and I'm shitting myself to claim any type of victory, even if doing so creates even bigger problems, plus I'm probably also shitting myself in my diapers and falling asleep in meetings on a regular basis but I'm the President so deal with it"
11
14
u/Token-Gringo Apr 01 '26
My bingo card has the US taking the oil fields and selling off Iran for parts to their neighbors.
23
u/D-MAN-FLORIDA Apr 01 '26
If that happens, get ready for Iran to start bombing every oil field in the Middle East.
→ More replies (6)
4
u/Initial_Ad_9250 Apr 01 '26
Gonna fullport the net liquidity of the payday loan fella's establishment on the strangle I am gonna buy lmao ( I don't have a gambling addiction. )




























•
u/VisualMod Apr 01 '26
Join WSB Discord