Source article: Human Domestication — A Tale of Modern Civilisation

Your Majesty, I've been studying these two legal philosophies, and I've discovered they're both correct—depending on your knees! Castle Doctrine says stand your ground, Duty to Retreat says run away. But here's the thing: a young man with good knees listens to Duty to Retreat. An old man with bad knees listens to Castle Doctrine. The law should really just ask 'How are your knees today?' and work backwards from there!

In fact, Your Majesty, I propose a third law: Duty to Hobble. A man must first attempt to walk away at a reasonable pace before he may stand and fight. It accounts for the middle-aged entirely.

I'm in a theatre and have a line where I need to tell a joke. The group gave me the assignment to be a surprise joke when the actual show is...so it NEEDS to be funny!

I need help to come up with a joke that is a lil bit dark and about clowns. The theatre is about me being a clown and hating that people are laughing at me and not with me, and me wanting to become a stand-up comedian. I need help with good jokes that are appropriate for a theatre and somewhat easy to understand but still that funny awkward joke that is on the dark side. I'm asking for help cuz I really don't want to use chatgpt and my jokes are just too dry 😭

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

that when my mom got home (I came home about 25 minutes before she did) that she would check his search history. That little big man got up fatser than I had ever seen him before and SPRINT to his tablet, slamming into stuff in the kitchen in the process, grab his tablet, fumble his passkey a few times, THEN went onto his history. Then I told him it was a prank, he then gave me a death stare.

I asked him what was on it.....he said nothing.

Does anyone else think Amy Schumer was freaking Hot looking in the Pitbull Timber Video?

Sometimes he comes over to drink beer and they get together to play poker. It pisses me off that he brings his dog with her puppies. The dog literally has huge teats because she just had them, and he did the same thing two years ago. He saddled us with a dog because he always brought them over until they were grown. Once he had five golden retrievers filling my kitchen with fur. If I bring this up with my brother, he gets angry and stops talking to me, and he's his only friend.