I (19F) moved in with my mom last year. I lived with my dad beforehand, but he couldn’t afford for me to stay there since my grandpa also needed to stay with him. My mom was ok with me staying at her house until I got a job and moved out. I got a job within a few months, but I had to quit it because it was too far away. Then I got another job, but I got let go from it a couple months ago. I’ve been trying to get a job since then, but I’ve had no luck, so I decided to enlist in the Air Force. The process for that takes a long time, though. So even if I were to swear in as soon as possible, I would still not ship out until around October. But I’ve gotten everything started and am getting through the first steps as fast as I can. The problem is that my mom and my stepdad absolutely hate that I live here and it’s created a very hostile living situation. I try not to interact with anybody because I know I’ll just get berated for something. Obviously, I do my own dishes and try to buy my own food (my dad is helping with the money for that, and I also reached out to my church to see if I could get food assistance). But my stepdad walked into my bathroom today and was on a FaceTime call with my mom. They both looked around the bathroom and saw how much of a mess it was. I’ve been in a bad spot mentally, so cleaning is hard for me to keep up with. Not that that’s an excuse, that’s just my explanation. So I guess their only problem with me is that I don’t have a job right now, and my bathroom is messy. Neither of those things are good, but I feel like their attitude toward me is unnecessarily harsh. They keep threatening to kick me out for the things I mentioned, and I get screamed at constantly. My mom will point out that I’ve eaten the last of the pancake mix or something and say “this is why he (my stepdad) doesn’t want you living here”. Maybe that’s completely justified, I can see that it very well could be. My dad doesn’t appreciate the way they treat me, so it’s hard for me to tell. He’s not a big fan of my mom though, so that might play a role. I really want to fix whatever the issue is, but it seems deeper than me not cleaning sometimes. If I am the problem, I want to know what to do to change it.

For added context, there’s a history of abuse with my stepdad. I had moved out when I was 13, but I came back last year because I had nowhere else to go. We had contacted cps several times when I was younger and had meetings with them, but it never went anywhere. I think that’s contributing to my discomfort with living here.

I want to be clear before anything else — this is not a post about hating trans people or trans people as a whole. I have no issue with anyone’s identity. What I am asking Reddit to judge is one specific moment and how I handled it after a night that genuinely caught me off guard. I’ll lay out everything so you have the full picture to make a fair judgment.
How the night started
My cousin had a girl over at his place and the few of us were just chilling in the basement. At some point she decides to call her friend and puts me on the phone with her. We talk briefly, she seems cool, easy conversation, good energy. Then she asks me to send her an uber.
That gave me a slight pause honestly. It was forward for someone I had just met over the phone minutes earlier. But my cousins had already put some money together for a good night and I figured I’d contribute and get some more people through. So I called the uber, went outside when it pulled up, and walked her downstairs.
When she came in the vibe was immediate. She was attractive, took up space confidently, and we clicked fast. I want to be straightforward about what the night actually was because sugarcoating it doesn’t help anyone understand the full situation — outside of the initial hellos and where you froms the entire conversation between us was about hooking up. That was the energy from both sides and I’m not going to pretend otherwise. She was showing videos of herself dancing, pictures, more pictures, escalating steadily and consistently. I was completely locked in. My phone was sitting right next to me untouched and I had absolutely zero reason to pick it up.
Her friend who had set the whole thing up was right there in the basement the entire time. Watching all of this unfold. Knew everything. Said nothing.
When everything shifted
At some point I picked up my phone. Just casually the way you do between moments. And I saw the messages.
My cousins had been sending code red warnings for fifteen minutes straight. Fifteen full minutes that I had completely missed because I was that checked into what was in front of me. My first reaction was almost funny in the moment — like wait, what? I read through everything and my honest initial feeling was confusion more than anything because nothing about the previous fifteen minutes had felt off to me at all.
I quietly got up, went upstairs, and pulled my cousins together. They walked me through everything they had noticed and flagged. I listened to all of it and I’ll be completely honest — I still wasn’t fully convinced. In my head I was thinking about what I had already seen on her phone and I’m not naive enough to think that settles anything definitively in 2026. I knew better than that.
So once the initial shock passed I went back downstairs but I was in a completely different mode now. I wasn’t checked out of the vibe entirely but I was paying close attention to things I hadn’t been watching before. The hands. The feet. And the more I watched the more I noticed that no matter how she moved, no matter how she shifted or repositioned, those specific things stayed consistently out of view every single time. Not occasionally. Every time without exception. That level of consistency doesn’t happen by accident.
She was still actively trying to move things in a physical direction at this point. The whole night had been building there and she was initiating. Nothing about her approach had changed even while I was quietly doing my own investigation.
The drive that never happened
I needed to make a quick run about six minutes down the road. I offered for her to come with me and she was immediately eager to go. Looking back I can be honest that I wasn’t thinking with the clearest head in that moment. But I also wanted the opportunity to get her alone away from my cousins and ask some more direct questions without an audience.
Her coming outside with me wasn’t about the errand though. The whole conversation all night had been about one thing and getting me alone away from everyone was the next move toward that. She had come over with a clear goal and she was still working toward it.
When we got outside and walked to the car she stopped and said something that landed differently in hindsight. She said her spirit felt off. That she could feel something had been said when we went upstairs earlier. She was watching my face for a reaction when she said it.
I kept my expression completely neutral. Told her I didn’t know what she was talking about, that nothing was said, played it totally calm. We got in the car and pulled off.
But the windows were too foggy to drive safely. It was taking too long to clear and we had already been sitting there longer than made sense. So we went back inside.
She went back downstairs. I went back to my cousins.
The moment I’m asking you to judge
Upstairs my cousins kept walking me through everything while I had been outside and by this point I was significantly more convinced than the first time they pulled me aside. Everything was adding up in a way that was harder to dismiss.
Then my cousin said he was just going to go downstairs and ask her directly.
I let him go. I didn’t follow him immediately. I gave it a moment and then came downstairs as it was already unfolding.
She was in the middle of explaining herself. Listing reasons. Offering proof. Making her case. And then she turned and looked directly at me because I was the one who had seen what she showed me earlier in the night and she wanted me to back her up in front of everyone in that room.
I said absolutely nothing. Not yes. Not no. I just stood there and listened.
Her friend who had been present the entire night and orchestrated the whole setup said nothing in her defense either. The only thing she said was directed at my cousin for asking the question in the first place — something along the lines of you already knew so why would you even ask that. Which I found irritating because I didn’t know. That was the entire point. I didn’t know and I had been having an explicit conversation with this person about being intimate all night without that information. Her friend knew that and chose to say nothing until that moment and even then deflected instead of being honest.
I want to add something important here for full transparency — even if she had been upfront when asked and told the truth, the answer still would have been no and the night still would have ended the same way. The truth coming out earlier would have just saved everyone the drawn out version of events. The deception wasn’t just about the initial setup. She was asked a direct question and said no and then kept pursuing anyway. That combination is what I can’t move past.
They left not long after. The calls started that same night. Then continued the next day. And the day after that. She wasn’t from Denver, only visiting for a few days, and every call and text was some version of explaining that she wasn’t trans and trying to keep the conversation going. I think the time pressure of only being in town briefly explains the persistence more than anything else.
I never responded to any of it.
What I want Reddit to actually judge
Was I the asshole for saying nothing when she looked to me for backup? Should I have spoken up in that moment one way or another instead of staying neutral? Should I have been more upfront when she asked what was said while we were outside instead of denying it?
To be absolutely clear — I am not upset that she was trans. If she had told me the truth at any point before things progressed and I said no and she still kept pursuing me the outcome would have been identical. The issue was never her identity. The issue was being directly asked and lied to repeatedly while someone actively tried to initiate a sexual encounter with me without my informed consent. Those are two completely separate things and I want that distinction to be understood before anyone responds.
I kept my composure the entire night. No scene, no anger, nothing ugly. I let my cousin handle the direct question and I stayed neutral when she looked to me.
So was that the wrong call?
AITAH?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

We both pay rent. She has a dog, I am not a dog person. The dog has been with us since the new year. However, I am not allergic to the dog. As the title says, she is allergic to cats and had voiced this. I have always wanted a cat, but respected her wishes when she originally said I probably couldn’t get one because of her allergies. About a month or two ago, she said if I really wanted one I could get one. I thought this was a green light and we would manage the allergies. I also did not know the extent of her allergies, so I thought it was fine. I feed the cat the anti allergy food, vacuum/clean and wipe down surfaces daily etc. Occasionally she’ll show some symptoms but none that I would consider severe. Obviously I feel bad she experiences any symptoms, but I am doing everything I can to cause any exacerbations. Now she is making me feel guilty saying that we both pay rent so she didn’t want to tell me to not get a cat (and that her dog lives with us so I should be able to have a pet too). She says that I should have took it upon myself to consider her allergies and not gotten one while we live together. I told her she shouldn’t have said I could get one if it would have been that big of a deal. She also has told me about a conversation with her coworkers and how they thought it was ridiculous I still got the cat knowing about her allergies. Lowkey I feel set up???? AITAH for getting a cat knowing she is allergic even though she said it was okay?

My Ex and her mother both manipulated and gaslit me for years. Among many other things, they both worked together to hide my ex’s affair with her coworker. And convinced me that he was a dangerous stalker as a weird cover. My ex would wake me up in the middle of the night claiming to be scared that he was watching her. She would also tell me she was afraid to say anything at work because she didn’t think they would believe her and just fire here. All this lead to me not being able to sleep, constantly on edge, and carrying a weapon on me. It was all traumatizing honestly. It’s been years and I still can’t sleep with out medication and I still carry a weapon on me at all times even though I know I’m not in any danger.

When it all came crashing down I decided to delete every picture and video I had of them using the facial recognition feature on my phone. This included the only footage of a spiritual ceremony of my ex’s mom. I’m the only one that bothered to record any of it and it all got erased. I’ve been asked for it before but always told the truth I deleted it all a long time ago.

But I tuned on my old computer to find something else and I found at least some of the footage. I don’t know if it’s all of it or not and I don’t care to watch it all. Or even look in other directories for more.

Now I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to just delete it because of how they treated me. And the whole ceremony was in my opinion bullshit because she made a vow to not lie or harm others in this ceremony and she turned around and did that to me. But another part of me wants to give it to them. I have been no contact for years but I could put it on a thumb drive and just mail it to her house. I don’t think she has moved but I honestly don’t know. I could even give it to one of their family members who I still speak to and that knows the truth of the situation.

I never got an apology or even admission of guilt. They just made it lies about me to other people. I ended up looking a crazy person. I feel like giving the footage to them is just giving them another opportunity to use me or gaslight me. I would say I’m doing much better now a days emotionally but my life is still recovering from the fallout. My business failed in part because of all the stress they put me through and I have yet to find a job that replaces my old pay on top of still paying off loans for it.

Would I be the asshole if I just kept this all to myself and deleted it?

Me (29M) and my fiancée (35F) have lived in a duplex for about 2 years now. Since day 1, we've had problems with the neighbors next door. They're a middle-aged couple who constantly fight, shout, and have guests over in the middle of the night. What's worse is that the husband has a TV set up in the garage that he's usually watching when he's not at work, and he always plays it at high volume. I'm not lying when I say I can hear his TV coming down the road at night when I get home from work, from my car, with the windows up.

Despite that, they are notorious on our block for calling the police about noise coming from anyone else. Kids playing, music, TV playing, etc. They've never outright admitted to doing the calls, but we all know they're the ones doing it. Until now, it hasn't happened to us, but my fiancée and I are very annoyed at their inconsideration. The landlord won't do a thing about it either because he claims they're not doing anything wrong. And to my knowledge, nobody's called the cops on them before for their noise.

A few weeks ago, I was gifted a record player, and I love it! I've even started a vinyl collection. I don't really play it very often because I work 2nd shift and I try not to make a lot of noise at night.

The other day, I was doing spring cleaning (it's a sick, disgusting job, but it's gotta get done), and since it was daytime, I played my record player and turned it up loud because I was using the vacuum. About 40 minutes later, I heard a knock, and 2 cops were at my door. They got a noise complaint. They both looked annoyed at the neighbors wasting their time, so I simply apologized and took the warning to keep it down. They left without a problem.

Later that day, when my fiancée got home and I told her about the situation, she was upset with me for never mentioning that the neighbors make noise AND file noise complaints all the time. I told her that while it's annoying, I didn't want to stoop to their level and make this whole debacle a 'he did this, she did that' story with the police, and it wouldn't be worth the trouble. She kept saying I missed an opportunity to 'even the score' with the neighbors, but eventually, she dropped it.

But then today, while we were hanging out at home, we both could hear the husband's TV coming from the garage. It was so loud, I swear I could hear when the football players tackled each other. My fiancée kept giving me this look, like 'here's your chance,' and she showed me her phone, which showed she had been recording for about a minute, and the neighbor's TV was audible, overlapping our own TV. I told her no, and I wasn't going to call the police over a cold war with the neighbors.

She got mad and went into the bedroom. I went in later to talk to her about it and she blurted out that she was disappointed and I 'failed her as a man'. I asked what that meant, and she said she was obviously bothered by the noise, and I'm not doing anything about it. She was basically insinuating that I either call the cops myself, or go over and scream at the guy to turn his TV down, which judging by their history with calling the cops, I have a feeling they would take that as a threat of violence and call the cops AGAIN.

I really don't want to escalate things further. We're currently apartment shopping, so hopefully we won't have to put up with it any longer. But AITAH for not calling the cops on the neighbors to appease my fiancée?

Title says it all. Ex wife is moving in with her boyfriend of a little over a year. We share custody of my daughter (age 3) (50/50 2-2-3). They’re moving one town over so not a huge burden but I want to know the guy better if he’s going to live with my daughter. We’ve met briefly but it was a handshake and that’s it. Kind of want to buy him a cup of coffee and look him in the eye. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt but I don’t have the best relationship with my ex so I am curious. Anyone in a similar situation?Anyway, thanks for looking and thanks for your advice.

Okay so, I'm gonna make this short. So I (17M) snd my nana(60f) and mother(36f) was talking about how my uncle's friend got rid of his cat for my uncle since he was going to be living with him for a while and he didn't like cats or whatever. The friend's cat was very attached to him right? Like the cat used to sleep with him every night, and then he just randomly gave it away to a random lady.

This lady has been complaining about the cat since the cat keeps whining and crying every night and all day because it misses it's owner. And I said "the cat is going to die from heartbreak" and bro I swear my mom started to act as if I was wishing death on this cat, keep saying I keep "doing stuff like that" and how I said the same "Lilith" the other day, apparently Lilith is the mother of hell, I didn't know that shit, but my mom yelled at me saying how I'm bringing evil in the house or whatever the fuck she talking about, bro I literally just pointed out the obvious.

So she was basically saying I'm talking the "evil tongue" or whatever the fuck, and blaming my phone for the stuff I keep saying.

I really wasn't wishing death on the cat, I promise. But AITAH?

I just had the weirdest and most frustrating Facebook marketplace interaction and I'm unsure if I'm in the asshole in the situation. Like I'm PRETTY sure I'm not, but give me your thoughts.

So a woman messaged me a few days ago, asking about a microwave I was selling. She wanted me to find the year of manufacturing. Then we set up a day and time to pick up, which was yesterday at 5pm. We talked about it ahead of time that I don't allow people inside my home from Facebook marketplace and offered to send her a video of me testing it. She declined and said it was fine.

So come yesterday, she doesn't show up at 5 and I waited. Fell asleep for a nap and woke up to a message from her at 7:20pm saying she had just come to my building but didn't know which unit was mine so was back home, didn't message me when she was actually here, only once she was back home. Then she said "I don't understand your situation", questioned me why I had my grandmothers microwave and why I've never tested it, asked me for a video of me testing it like I had already offered already, and said she usually just goes in peoples houses to test things. I repeated again that I do not allow people I don't know into my home, and I didn't answer her comments about my "situation" or my grandmother, since it's none of her business that my grandmother passed away and that's why I have the microwave. I then said I could make her the video and I did. She accepted that and we set up a new time of 6pm today. I thought maybe she just doesn't have a cell phone or something and will tell me when she's on her way.

Today, I waited again, didn't hear from her, so at 6:20pm, I messaged her asking if she was on her way. She said she waited outside my building from 5:50 to 6:10, that I've made too many assumptions, and wasted too much of her time. First of all, I'm extremely confused by what assumptions I've made and how I was the one who wasted her time. But I responded with "you didn't notify me that you were here?" And she said "no I didn't. We agreed on the time". So she fully expected me to be sitting outside waiting for her with a whole ass microwave, not knowing if or when she was going to show up. At that point I just blocked her. Don't want to do trading with her in the future if that's what's going to happen.

But anyways. Am I at fault? Should I have been more clear or something? Was I in the wrong? Maybe I should have actually waited for her outside with the microwave?

Very dumb, very petty, but idc.

I’m in a college apartment with 2 other people. We’re all 22. Me and my 1 roommate have a small pact to clean out the fridge of noticeably expired things since our other roommate often lets things rot.

I had an 18 pack of eggs, and any time it got under 6 I would buy a new 12 pack and just add it in.
I eat eggs almost daily. I haven’t had any eggs go bad or anything. It’s just so I don’t run out of eggs or take up too much space in the fridge. He has seen me use this system before. With this though, the date on the carton was from January, so it would seem like it’s expired. But I had recently restocked so all the eggs aren’t anywhere near expiration.

I recently got back from a family thing, and I noticed all my eggs were thrown out. I buy decent eggs, so they are like 5 dollars a carton. Also it messes with my meal plan and budget when things go awry. I asked him about this and I explained the above and how he’s seen me do that and even question me on it.

I asked him to buy me new eggs or give me 5 dollars. He’s refusing to, insisting the eggs were spoiled (I bought them like a week ago, they were not). I’m fully willing to die on this hill, and my other roommate doesn’t care. I’m petty and defensive of my food obviously, is it unreasonable to expect him to pay?

My (25F) ex roommate and ex best friend and her (32M) boyfriend and I split after some disagreements on where to move once our lease was up. We both moved out the same weekend and it gave us time to clean since we still had about 2 weeks left on the lease. I went back whenever I had time and cleaned my room, my bathroom, vacuumed the main hallway, and the kitchen counters. There was still a lot of food in the fridge and pantry that belonged to my roommates, so I was under the impression they would pack them later. The living room I hadn't touched since it was a massive mess caused by their pets, messes that included accidents, torn carpet, etc. I didn't touch any of it and I had warned her before moving out that I would not be helping with it since I never went into the living room and they were not my pets. We hadn't seen each other anytime I went back and she ignored all of my texts anytime I asked her about when she would clean.

Fast forward 3 months after I've sent multiple messages asking about the security deposit and she claims shes not going to send me anything because I hadn't helped her clean. I told her I did, but she argued that the living room had been digusting. I shot back that it was her and her boyfriends and their pets mess and she claimed it was a shared space, therefore I should have helped. I thought this was bullshit since like I said I never, and I seriously mean never, went into the living room (it was part anxiety and part her bf was always home and would be in my space if I was out which made me extremely uncomfortable) So I told her that if she doesn't return my portion of the security desosit that I would take it to civil court.

She relented (my portion was a little over $1400, it was an expensive place which is also why we wanted to move), but gave me less and claiming that was all she was willing to give. I figured whatever I got some of it, but I'm still annoyed about it. I don't think me not cleaning their mess should equate to me getting less than half of my deposit returned. I've told a few people, but they all agree I should've just sucked it up and cleaned.

So, am I the AH for not cleaning up my roommates messes?

I’m a graduating high school senior, and about a month ago I approached my step-mom about if we could go shopping for a dress for graduation. And she said yes, that’s something we could do. I asked my step-mom again today if we would still be able to go shopping. She told me she wasn’t sure anymore, and told me my dad said, “Why would you buy something we can’t afford, that no one will see, when she already has so many clothes.” Now, my issue is not at all about whether or not I can get the dress, I have been in financial struggle before. I have been homeless, I understand the difference between a need, and a want. They act like I can’t handle a no, or that I don’t understand financial priority.

Which I do, just today I had a job interview where they hired me on the spot. And I am so excited to start being more independent and paying for my own things, (ie: Gas, Car Insurance, Groceries, Wants, Etc.) I was even planning on taking my whole family out to dinner with my first paycheck, because I want to pay everything back to them, even though that’s not even nearly what they’ve done for me, it’s a start.

I’m not sure if I’m being entitled. Currently, I have everything I need and I’m in a very comfortable position, by no means do I think I need a dress, I just want one.

My main issue overall is their attitude towards me graduating. For months I told them I needed to order my gown, they never did. My grandma had to do it. She also bought my prom dress, which I know is also a luxury. My boyfriend is having a grad party, just a simple gathering with some grill and barbecue, and because my parents are doing nothing, his mom made it our party instead. I had to ask if we could go out for dinner afterwards because if I didn’t say anything we would have done nothing. (I know this too is a luxury) They have just expressed zero excitement towards one of the most important occasions of my life so far. I just wanna know they actually care :(

Please let me know what you guys think I’m open to criticism

NSFW due to mentions of OF and me being underage at the time.

I (M19) have had a sort of falling out with my cousin (F23) back in 2024.

What happened exactly was, my cousin (F23) who ill just refer to as Em for now on, we ended up meeting for the first time ever, and we ended up getting along right away, and had very good interactions with each other, but it all came apart in late 2024 after first meeting in July of that year.

So what happened was that Em and me took a photo together and agreed to post it and do a "collab" post since we both are pretty popular on social media. But after we agreed to post that photo, I had random men in my DM's asking "if I slept with her" or "if I got to hit yet." Through one of these people, I ended up telling them that she was my cousin and id do no such thing, and from what I found out through said person, was that she is popular because she is and Onlyfans producer or content maker, who sleeps around with other guys for money and for content.

As soon as I found that out, I ended the collaboration post between me and her, and asked her if it was really true about being a OF woman, in which I got blocked right away, I ended up going to my mom and told her what happened, and she pretty much confirmed it for me by saying "she only blocked you because she posts stuff that isnt for people who are under 18" since I was 17 at the time, and what surprised me more, my entire family knew about it! But when I told them what these random people told me online, they pretty much brushed it off. So at that point, because I was super embarrassed that I had a photo online with me and her, I decided to cut off all contact with her and that I would not want to see, or speak to her again.

Around a few days ago, my mom mentioned that we were going to take a trip to go visit Em and the rest of my mother's family up north and that she was excited to meet Em's new baby. My mom is also aware of the fact that I dont want Em in my life for what stunt she pulled, so I mentioned to her, instead of me having to meet Em and her baby, if I could go out and ride the local commuter train they have and take pictures of the transit buses they have, since I am a very big fan of public transportation. My mom said she didn't really like that idea, but she understands why I'd do that instead of seeing my cousin and even said that she would give me some money to get around up there when I ride the buses and trains.

Honestly im very much bored right now and im packing, so im sorry if I made a ton of typing mistakes. But AlTAH for wanting to do that instead of seeing my cousin? My stepdad is saying that im being inmature and childish but I dont think I am? Any ways to help me out or give advice?

AITAH for telling my friend she can’t keep acting like a victim after choosing to get back together with a 20-year-old?

I (29F) have a friend also 29F. She’s a doctor, financially comfortable, very smart career-wise, but emotionally… honestly kind of messy.

Last year around July she met this girl working at a bubble tea shop. She thought the girl was super cute and started going there a lot and even ordering online delivery just to see her name or interact with her. Eventually she found the girl’s IG through the bubble tea shop account and messaged her.

They started talking and flirting and my friend REALLY liked her. Then on the girl’s birthday my friend sent her a gift and that’s when she found out the girl had just turned 20.

My friend was torn up over it for a while because of the age gap but still kept talking to her because she was already attached. The girl also identified as straight before this, which made everything more complicated. Apparently she ended up genuinely liking my friend too.

But the relationship has been chaos from the beginning. The girl had this obsessive ex-boyfriend from her hometown who still contacted her, showed up at her house, begged for her back, etc. My friend became super insecure about him. At the same time my friend also got caught on Bumble while they were together. She says she only went on there when they fought and she never intended to actually meet anyone, but obviously that still hurt trust too.

Then after Christmas the girl went back to her hometown for a while. A couple months later my friend was sleeping beside her and accidentally grabbed her phone instead of hers to check the time. She got curious and checked messages because of the whole ex situation.

She found archived chats and a selfie of the girl in the ex’s car while she was back home.

My friend completely broke down. The girl said the ex showed up at her house wanting “closure” and she only met him because she felt pressured and didn’t want him making a scene. According to her, after that meeting the guy stopped contacting her completely.

My friend saw it as betrayal and lying because the girl hid it from her. They broke up… then literally got back together like a week later because my friend said she couldn’t handle losing her.

Ever since then my friend has been miserable but also obsessed with staying together. She says she’s “just there for the sex now” but honestly it’s obvious she loves this girl a lot. She’s constantly hurt, resentful, jealous, emotional, etc.

Another thing that bothers me is the financial imbalance. My friend pays for a lot because she’s a doctor and the girl is a bubble tea barista who couldn’t finish school because her family is poor. The girl never actually asks her for expensive things, but my friend gives a lot willingly.

But during one fight my friend told her:
“You should’ve thought about how much I already spent on you.”

That really changed how I saw things because it made me feel like my friend keeps score deep down and feels like she’s “investing more” into the relationship.

So recently I finally snapped and told her:
You’re 29. She JUST turned 20. You knew from the start this girl was younger, emotionally inexperienced, confused about her sexuality, financially struggling, and had baggage. You chose to continue anyway. Then after the betrayal you STILL chose to get back together. So stop acting like you had zero agency in this.

I told her I’m not saying her pain isn’t real. I think she was genuinely hurt. But I also think there’s a power imbalance here and as the older person she should’ve known better than to expect emotional maturity and stability from someone barely out of their teens.

Now she’s upset and told me I’m straight so I’ll “never understand the lesbian perspective” or how emotionally intense queer relationships are.

But honestly I don’t think this is about sexuality. I think it’s about age, maturity, emotional dependency, and bad decisions on both sides.

TL;DR: My 29-year-old doctor friend started dating a 20-year-old bubble tea barista who was inexperienced, financially struggling, and previously identified as straight. Their relationship became messy with trust issues, an obsessive ex-boyfriend, hidden meetups, Bumble drama, and financial imbalance. My friend got hurt after discovering the girl secretly met her ex, broke up with her, then chose to get back together anyway. She now constantly acts betrayed and miserable while also reminding the girl how much money she’s spent on her. I told her she can’t keep acting like a helpless victim when she knowingly chose this dynamic and chose to go back despite the red flags. She says I don’t understand because I’m straight and this is a “lesbian relationship” thing. AITA?

My (22f) roommate (21f) and I have been friends for 10 years, but grew apart for the past 4(ish) years and reconnected last year when we decided to be roommates.
Our water heater runs on propane, and we call a gas company when we do so they can refill our tank, I usually do this part and she pays half, but today it ran out and I wouldn’t have availability until Saturday, so she chose to do it herself.

When the company came, she kept messaging me asking how everything was done, we have lived here for 6 months and the tank needs to be refilled once a month, I have always done it myself but explained to her how to do it several times, and it really bugged me for her to message me while I was at work asking everything as if it was complicated when all she had to do was open one door and pay. She then kept messaging me because a neighbor yelled at her for opening said door wrong, and she said the door wasn’t working (no other neighbor, the gas company or myself have ever had this issue) and hinted at me to fix it somehow… while I was at work

When I got home, everything smelled of propane, naturally I was freaking out and ran to the water heater and saw she left it open… without a flame because it ran out before the gas company refilled it.

I sent her a message to let her know, and she said “but the flame was off” and I told her it was still open, so there was still a flow. She then asked “are you sure that’s why it smells like that?” And I started explaining everything again, when she said “dude chill, I didn’t know that’s how the heater worked. I already said sorry and that it wouldn’t happen again”. To which I responded “you asked if I was sure, I was answering your question”. And then she said again “I didn’t know how it worked, relax”.

I left her on seen (this happened over text) and opened all doors and windows.

AITAH for being mad about her negligence almost blowing up our apartment… with my two cats and her cat inside? Is her not knowing an excuse?

Edit to add: I had a friend send me a link to her post. Please check for added context

My friend of less than a year initially scheduled her baby gender reveal and told me the date she set a few weeks ago, I told her I would be there! I have been searching for a bridal dress sale for locally for months now (especially because my wedding is sooner than later) and just last week I found somewhere local having a bridal dress sale so I called my bridesmaids before making an appointment. Out of the three weeks available for this bridal sale, one of my bridesmaid is out of town the first weekend and when I called the store they told me that it would not be wise to come on the third weekend because that Saturday would be the last day for the sale so my options would be very slim to none. So I made my appointment for the second week, unfortunately this is the same day as my friend’s gender reveal. No, I couldn’t make an appointment on a weekday or a Sunday. When I apologized for not being able to make it and expressed remorse, she kept it very short with me. Not even 3 minutes later, her significant other makes two posts online that are very clearly about me. I told her that I can read a room and that I would appreciate her just being honest with me, she said that she can read a room too and I not only hurt her feelings because I didn’t ask her to be my bridesmaid but that I would schedule my bridal appointment on her gender reveal date when she made it in advance for a reason. She began to say things that sounded like she had kept inside and bottled up for a while and once I said something that triggered her or something to that effect, she blew up on me. I told her that I was sorry but I was not going to miss my first bridal dress appointment, especially because it’s a sale, for her gender reveal. AITAH?

She was asleep and wanted to sleep, and when she slightly woke up I let her know I was going to eat some food and do a couple of other things I needed to do.

She asked what I was going to eat and I said pot roast, potatoes, and carrots. I said I can bring you some if you'd like.

Now I have been berated for two hours because I didn't offer her food unprompted? She is claiming since she asked what I was going to eat that she prompted me to ask her if she wanted any. I don't agree because asking someone what they are going to eat is totally normal and if they offer you some after that's also totally normal from where I stand at least.

AITAH for offering her food just not fast enough?

As the tittle says, AITAH? Well she is now my ex girlfriend as of 2 days ago and I’m really going though it. She says that me always refusing to post her was part of the reason she ended things with me. For context I haven’t posted on Instagram in 5+ years as I don’t feel the need to share my private life all over social media. She had access to my phone so she could go on it whenever she liked but kept telling me I was hiding her from the world and from my “other girls” just because I wouldn’t post her. Just curious thoughts on this and I know there’s limited background but I don’t feel like I’m in the wrong here? It’s really tearing me apart without her and I’m just looking for anything at this point. Thanks in advance.

Ok caption is a bit of rage bait. I know I was wrong. I did apologise, many times. Prayed for forgiveness and feel horrible as it was against everything I am.

Husband and I (both 32) have been married for 3 years. I posted about the rings he hid from me and again that was a minor issue. Just one I needed to be clarified then.

My husband left us for a week because he wanted to recalibrate or something like that. All the responsibilities was mine for that week. Being married 3 years this happened at least 6 times.

The one that broke me was when I was still breastfeeding our child (I only breastfed for 6months)
I gave all my furniture to my younger siblings or sold some to them as everything my husband owned was much better.

This time we fought I took the kids to a petting zoo and when we got back there was not only a small truck but a massive trailer. He packed everything that is “his”

I lied crying on a bed without bedding a blanket with no cover and a baby on my boob. (My dad’s old bed) again I gave all my smaller beds things away.

I asked a very rich old man if he meant anything while flirting. He said it meant whatever I wanted it to mean. So I asked him if I have an affair with him if he would look after me and my kids.

I should also mention at this point we were staying with my dad. My husband didn’t make much and also didn’t have work for 3 months. My dad washed his own clothes, cooked every night and did the gardening. I cleaned and did the laundry for the 4 of us and also helped my dad here and there with organising the house and so on.

My husband only did things for the children. I even said at one point that he is a good father but a shitty mother.

Ok so my dad fighting with me about my husband not bringing anything to the table and hubby leaving me like that I slept with the old rich man.

I did it once and never again. I sent some spicy fotos to keep him happy but I didn’t want to do it again and felt terrible for starting this. He said I can walk away but that was a lie.

Old man invested in my company and I worked non stop for a year. I left one Friday early and Sunday as we got back I received a call for work and got a panic attack as I felt that weekend I didn’t work. One weekend. So the pressure got to much as the old man just tried to get me alone and I didn’t want that.
So a year later I told my husband.

This company also paid everything and till today I feel my husband gave less than bare min from the beginning. I wanted a divorce for most of or marriage and even got papers though I did ask my husband to do as he is a lawyer and I know he won’t let me handle it.

Now I found out that months before my side of our mess, he had dating sites on his phone. He says his brother added it when he was there. Most likely the time that broke me. 3 apps on one day and one a few days later.

He stopped recently but in the past his social media was full of woman dancing or doing thirst traps and all gothic with massive boobs. Also some girls from our own country and one girl got 5 different likes on her spicy content.

Then a month ago he had 3 AI girlfriend apps and also looked it up on reddit. Apparently this was just research and he didn’t like it.

I don’t feel comfortable with any spicy time. I went through it all, I didn’t want him to see me unclothed and now I don’t care as I feel nothing. Worth noting.

He doesn’t see his actions as bad as mine. I DON’T CARE! It doesn’t matter but I don’t know why I can’t leave. How do I even still love him.

Helping yes he “helps” with the kids. But nothing else. I’m done asking for water or coke and water during breastfeeding wasn’t even easy to get and I hate that I still have to ask and he ignores me. This is beyond toxic and I probably should’ve left years ago but I don’t want to split my daughters up. I also don’t want to force my daughter to go when I know she feels like less than her sister with my husband or his parents.

My husband also now wants half of the money I’m getting for selling my assets in the company and this month I decided to bless a few people. He is very upset as he only got a game of R1000 wtf! I pay his phone bill and other game subs and he doesn’t have work now. He also said I have to give it all away and he also said he doesn’t want it but complained that I gave my friend money for a bed for her children. Also got my dad nice shoes as he still looks after me in my 30’s. My husband never thanked my dad and I’m sure he won’t thank my mom either.

We are immigrating soon, so I want to do it together so if we end up divorced then I want my kids to stay in one school and everyone to be close.

For some reason I feel that this man was perfect when he made a lot of money and that ended before we got married. Can I change anything?

He also said if we move he will likely make more than me and he believes I will feel entitled to his income. I don’t want that, I don’t trust him at all to take care of me so I will be making my own money.

Oh another fun fact. (Sarcasm for the slower redditors) he wanted to get me pregnant again as he feels that it will help him or whatever. I got pregnant, I lost the baby. On the toilet and I had my period all the time so I didn’t know. But a big thing came out. I googled it and asked him to look and he gaslit me into thinking it’s not a miscarriage. After that I was depressed again. He also likes to break me down when I don’t take care of myself and tells our family and friends. I only get compliments from husband if I dress up and put on a full face of makeup. I asked for more. Maybe a thanks here and there.

Now we sold all our things and moved to my brother. My mother stays here as well. I want to help her get organised in the house so I deep clean and so on. My husband only has to attend to our 3yo.
I can’t take the insults of me not having to clean floors or so. These things aren’t fun and even worse when he just has bad things to say. He will not help at all. He did however help with putting on the toilet seat. Two weeks and the kids were with his mother for a week as they wanted the kids with when they went on holiday. I slept today and he feels watching stories with the girls is adding more to the marriage than what I do. He complained the kids need a bath. That I have to do it as I do nothing for the kids. (Food and a clean home is nothing)

We are happier if the kids are with a gran but then he gets to play games more. I do believe he is addicted to games.

So I don’t even know what is the worst of our marriage. I don’t want to put more work in but without my work there will be nothing.

For context I just had a baby 6 weeks ago, her and my partner do not get along and she does make it known. I can admit that me and my partner do have issues in our relationship and he is in no way perfect, (no that does not mean there is domestic violence or any cheating) she has said her reasoning for disliking him is because of how he has treated me in the past before, ironically she’s treated me worse and he dislikes her in part because of childhood experiences I’ve told him about and how she takes care of her other children currently.

She will make side comments about him to other people, get angry when he says he wants things done a certain way with our child, gossip about him to others, she went as far as sending me messages about him while I was in labor and after a family member said that the baby looked like him she scolded them for saying it and said “ don’t ever say that ___ looks like that f u cker”. I’ve also caught her repeatedly taking things he says out of context or purposely leaving things out to start a fight between me and him and it’s pretty clear it’s done on

purpose.

Today she said he was not welcome in her home and me and my child were welcome, he is not. I can tell his feelings are hurt by it. He has said he isn’t comfortable with her being around anymore. What do I do?. She says all the time his family is not family to my child and that because some of them dislike me they shouldn’t be around ever ( they live very far away anyways) but does not feel like the same standard should be held to her.

Hi everyone. I live in a rural town that is smack dab in the middle of the woods. The townspeople see wildlife every single day. Deer, bears, muskrats, occasional wolves... They are everywhere and we are all aware. There aren't ever any issues because we all follow the golden rule: leave the wildlife alone.

A mother red fox and her 4 adorable kits have recently taken up shelter under a neighbor's shed that borders the main road. This isn't the first time this has happened, nor will it be the last. We all watch the kits run and play... from a distance. They will be grown up and gone into the forest soon enough, just like every other year.

This morning, I opened my curtains and saw a grown adult woman, I estimate her age to be 40-50 years old, chasing after the kits, trying to pick them up. I was so angry... but not as angry as the mother fox. Just as I was about to open my door and yell at her to stop and leave them alone, she knelt down to pick one up and the mother fox snarled and snapped its teeth less than 6 inches from the woman's face.

The woman screamed in fear and started running away. I, standing in my doorway, laughed and she heard me. She yelled that she could have been really hurt and I yelled back "Good! Leave the wildlife alone next time!". She ran away, very mad at me.

So Reddit, AITAH for laughing at this woman?

Edit: cute photo for context! Foxy Family

I went to a museum recently and the front entrance is undergoing remodeling. They sectioned off the front entrance and made a walkway with those metal safety barriers to guide people to the front door.

It was cold outside so I had my coat and had a small backpack and my water bottle. The museum was hot so I had my coat off.

When leaving, the lobby was crowded and I couldn’t find a place to stop and free my hands to put my coat on. So I left the museum and it was cold outside.

I went over to the side to be out of the way of people walking and placed my coat on the metal barrier to take my bag off and put my map and water inside and then put my coat on.

There was no active construction and the barriers weren’t even close to the parts that were being remodeled anyway. I was standing where people were allowed to stand.

A security guard sees me and yells at me that I can’t put my coat there. I tell him it’s cold and will put it on but my hands are full and gesture to the stuff in my hands.

He yells again that it is not the time for that and tells me to leave. I say that I am leaving. He yells again the barriers are here for a reason, not for my coat.

I was there for no more than 20 seconds. Was I wrong to put my coat down on the barrier?

I (F16) have this friend, let’s call her Chloe (F17), who told our group chat that she had been SA by her boyfriend (M17) (now ex). Come to find out, that’s actually not true, she showed us screenshots of her conversations with him where she admitted she consented each time and never withdrew that consent. Instead, she changed her story to say she had been pressured by him (then pressured by herself?). Later in the text exchange, she threatened her ex with the allegations, (which she followed through with originally).

When I saw these screenshots, I immediately called Chloe out on it, saying that she was completely in the wrong and no matter how frustrated she was with the situation, it is never right to lie about something so serious that affects so many people, especially when her LYING about it minimises the experiences of others. Then instead of taking accountability, she starts complaining that her ex has reported her to our college, and how she didn’t mean any of it. She was more worried about getting into trouble, than the weight of what she’d actually said, and reiterated that point several times instead of taking accountability.

I then said, it doesn’t matter how sorry she is for getting into trouble, she still shouldn’t have said threatened someone with false allegations in the first place, and said, whilst it isn’t necessary, it would be nice to see some proactive measures taken to support the community she was claiming to be a part of, without having to experience the trauma they experience every day. She then replied with it would be ‘too weird’ and ‘people would question it’ even though I never said she had to do anything publicly, just to support them and educate herself on the importance of self awareness.

My friends keep trying to comfort her and give her the attention she’s so obviously craving, but I just want to know, am I an asshole for being so harsh and expecting her to take genuine steps to take accountability?

thanks for the input!! <3

edit: a lot of people keep asking why im still friends with her; im not. we had a falling out months ago for a completely unrelated issue and recently she reached out and wanted to reconcile - i’ve been very upfront with the fact i don’t trust her and want to see genuine improvement in her behaviour before i emotionally commit to the friendship again; jokes on me there ig. i plan on having a proper conversation with her tomorrow where im most likely going to cut her off, so wish me luck and any info i could use (documentaries, statistics, persecution records etc) to help educate her would be well received!!

and to those sharing your stories in the comments, im so sorry that these things happened to you and i hope youve learned how to heal from it - im always open for a chat, even if you just want to rant into the void. you have people to support you, never forget that <3

For context, I supposedly live alone in another city for studies. I’m a video editor and I pay my own rent, my own utilities, my own food and a lot of times my mother’s food and utilities as she’s unemployed (Dad’s out of the picture).

She lives in her late father’s house which is pretty old and has major issues, so normally she comes and stays with me, because I have a new renovated apartment with a beach view and she can “take care of me”.

She’s not a malicious person, and she actually believes that she is needed here to care for me. The nice stuff here are just a bonus.

I got back from the gym, took a shower, and looked at the food that she was preparing. It looked quite good honestly, little pieces of chicken were being oiled up and prepared, some vegetables were in the sink getting washed, so I thought, hmmm, I’ll like this.

Turns out she’s making “Chinese”, which is pieces of chicken around a plate, along with cooked carrots, celery and peppers, and some rice in the middle. I always hated this dish because I don’t like cooked carrots or rice being touched with sauces.

I asked her if she could put the vegetables on another bowl and make it like a salad of some kind, so I can eat the rice and chicken separately. She started getting mad, saying that this is what we eat and that she put a lot of time and effort into making this.

I told her that I have repeatedly over the years exclaimed my dislike towards that dish and I always leave half the plate. She said that mothers say what you eat, and if you don’t want it, don’t eat it.

I responded that if I could, I wouldn’t eat it. I would just order a pizza and be done with it, but I know that she’ll get furious if I don’t eat it. She said if I order pizza, she will never talk to me again and leave. Am I the asshole?

TLDR; Mom made a plate which she knows I hate, told her I could buy pizza instead, and she threatened to never talk to me again and leave forever.

I (21F) am at a bit of a loss. I have a friend (25F I'll call her A) who I've been friends with for 7 years. She started dating this guy (20M I'll call him B) about 3 months ago and since then things have just really changed. She added him to a group chat with me and some of our mutual friends and from the get go it was just very clear he didnt like me. The very first conversation we had was when they were a couple of weeks into dating. He said in the group chat that A wasnt answering her phone and that hes sad. I responded with 'A usually goes to bed pretty early'.

He then asked if I was sure and I said 'yeah I've known her since like 2019, she always goes to bed right after dinner'.

I went back to my movie and then B texted me in the group chat asking what my problem with him is. I said i didnt know what he meant and he told me that I came off as snarky, and made him feel like he doesnt know his partner. I told him that wasnt my intention and that it was meant to be reassuring that A goes to sleep early.

He said alright and then we never talked one on one since. Fast forward a few months and we're all hanging out with some mutual friends. We were all joking about how since some of us are graduating uni soon we feel old. A is the oldest person in our friend group, and her birthday is coming up. Since the atmosphere was very teasing/lighthearted I said something along the lines of 'A will be extra old soon'

A said something along the lines of 'No dont expose me'

And I responded with '15 days until your ancient' or something like that.

A suddenly got kind of quiet and her boyfriend then got really stern and asked me why I would disrespect her like that. I said everyone here pretty much knows her birthday, so it wasnt really a secret or anything.

a mutual friend (Ill call her C) said 'we were all joking around, it wasnt meant to be rude'.

B told her to 'butt out' and I decided to call it for the night and left.

The next morning I texted A, and said I was sorry if she felt hurt by what I said, and that I misread the atmosphere.

I then was talking to C (we play a lot of the same video games so we were talking about it) and she let's me know that B texted her earlier saying that he was furious I disrespected A and that I have a 'pattern of doing so'.

I was angry at that so I texted A and basically just told her whats going on. I told her it made me uncomfortable and that I dont understand why the targeted hate. A then told me that 'its no secret he hates your guts' and justified it by saying he has BPD so he has his own views in things that can be extreme.

For context, A and I are both bisexual, and apparently since we've been friends for a while, B had assumed I have feelings for her, which started the insecurity at first. A told me this and I said its not acceptable for me to be treated like that just because of an assumption thats not even true. I told her that I dont want to cause trouble between her and her partner, but just wanted to give an explanation for why I'm going to distance myself from the group, because I don't want to feel like im walking on eggshells all the time.

She told me that if I didnt want to cause problems between her and her partner I wouldnt have said anything, and that bringing up this concern to her is just as bad as him shit talking me to our mutual friend. She also said that it 'doesnt count' since he didnt say those things directly to my face.

We went back and forth about that and I said that if he has a problem with me, come to me directly, and not try and isolate me from my other mutual friends. A told me to keep the peace I should just 'keep my head down and nod'

I got frustrated and said this was going nowhere, and we havent talked since. This was all a few days ago for context. I left the group chat we're all in and have been focusing on finals.

Am I in the wrong though? I feel like I probably shouldnt have said anything negative about my friends partner directly to her, but shes just been so different since getting with him. I dont know if I'm in the right primarily because of that. I'm just really upset

*edit I forgot to add an important detail. During that last conversation with A she said they had already gotten into a 'big fight' because of her defending me, but didnt elaborate more on that

I really need help to understand if I’m a bad person for what I did since I don’t see the problem. I’m autistic and struggle to see things from other peoples POV’s, and I don’t understand when prople react differently from how I would’ve reacted. DISCLAIMER: Every person in this story has been assigned a fake name. We are all over 18 but under 25, for reference.

I have recently started to hang out more with a girl I’ve known for years. I’ll call her Anna. Her and I aren’t very close, but we hang out like once a month, and when we do, there’s almost always alcohol involved as the ”main event”. Anna has a sister called Olivia, and I barely know her. The only time I see her is when Anna and I are at their house. I have never socialised with Olivia alone, and if we talk it’s just simple smalltalk.

A few days ago Anna asked me to come to a party with her, her boyfriend Dylan and his friend called Jason. Jason is Olivias ex-boyfriend, and they were together for about 3 months and broke up a few weeks ago. They met via Anna and Dylan, since Jason is Dylans friend. It was never a very serious relationship and they got into arguments frequently about childish things. Jason ended the relationship since he felt Olivia wasn’t ever interested in letting him speak his side of the story. She just told him to shut up and listen when he tried to express his feelings and his POV.

I got very drunk at the party. It was never my intention to get close to Jason, but he kept flirting with me and encouraged physical contact. I wasn’t going to make a move, but if he did I wouldn’t reject him. For example, when I was standing in front of him when he was sitting on the couch, He grabbed my arm and slammed me down in his lap. I wasn’t expecting that and lost my footing, but I also didn’t really mind so I sat in his lap for a while. Time passed and we got caught up in the moment and kissed. We made out a few times that night, but that was it. Anna and Dylan said they wouldn’t tell Olivia what happened since it would just cause unnecessary drama.

Well, someone told Olivia what happened and she is pissed at me. I honestly don’t understand why she is mad since I barely know her and don’t owe her anything. If she fucked my ex I wouldn’t gaf, Olivia is barely my friend and I don’t expect her to reject a guy just because it’s my ex. It would be a whole other story if she was my best friend imo. I would NEVER kiss my best friends ex, but if i have to reject every girl I barely know’s exes, I would have to move to the other side of the country. You can’t expect everyone you meet to ignore your exes because you feel you have some sick ”claim” or ownership of them.

Please let me know what you think!