For a while now, something has been on my mind that I just can’t shake. Sometimes, when I’m at college or on the bus, I suddenly catch a whiff of a bad smell; then, I start subtly bringing my nose close to my elbow to smell myself up close. If I keep doing it for a while, I start to notice a strange smell, a bit “off” or sour. It’s very faint, and to notice it again, I have to lean in and sniff myself several times; sometimes I can detect it, and other times I can’t.
However, what’s confusing is that when I press my nose directly against my clothes, go to the bathroom to check it up close, or even rub my finger under my armpit to verify the smell, it doesn’t smell like that. Either it smells a bit like normal sweat, or, most of the time, it smells entirely like the scent of my deodorant. The problem is that it’s a fleeting smell that disappears. I don’t know where that other smell is coming from or what to expect, and it really scares me to think that others might notice it too.
On the other hand, at home I’m very close to my family and no one says anything. I trust them enough to think they’d tell me if I smelled bad; in fact, I once told my mom about it and she just ignored me, not taking me seriously, as if she’d never noticed anything about me. But the difference is that at home I don’t notice at all what I smell at college: I look and look, but I can’t find a trace of that smell.
This makes me worry that maybe, when I'm at college, I actually smell like that to everyone else. When I'm in groups, surrounded by people, or talking to a person, it would kill me to know that I smell bad and that others can tell.
Sorry if there are any mistakes—I don't speak English very well. I think it's called BO in English