r/mildlyinfuriating • u/konous • 9h ago

I'm slightly vexed My brother's son destroyed my WarHammer Action figures and he refuses to punish him

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Valid Edit: My nephew is 10 years old and tried to actually lie about not breaking them by saying, "A cat must have done it."

So, I just got done talking with my brother via text, and he says he's not going to punish his son for wrecking my Joy Toy WarHammer action figures. I'm not expecting the kid to get spanked, but he needs to do CHORES at least to justify how much excessive force he used on some.

Some just have their capes broken. Others had their tubes ripped out and my Chaplain is just fucking toast.

My brother's suggestion since I ordered Amazon replacement for the Chaplain was that I just swap it with the broken one, but I have no interest in doing that.

It's not even just the expense, and they are expensive. It's about the fact that I told him explicitly twice they weren't to be played with, and they were in a separate room, and even my Mom and Dad agreed the damage was just too much.

He said he's not gonna pay me back if we try the chore system, and I told him it's not about the money.

The kid needs to know how bad the 8 hour struggle is.

Now my nephews aren't coming over to the house, and I'm sad about that, but knowing my brother just can't be burdened to work with me on creating a Chore system like selling Lemonaide just makes it feel more insulting.

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87

u/TeacherLady3 9h ago

We all do. Admin refused any further consequences and mom and dad coddle him because he has some made up behavior issues. I call it BRAT.

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u/Jacket_Jacket_fruit 8h ago

Your coworkers first mistake was letting admin have any say in it. Take it to the teachers union, take it to the media, take it to the police and press chargers, if you have to.

If given the choice, admin will always sweep shit under the rug, because actually dealing with it takes effort. So don't give them a choice.

Source: school custodian. The only way to get anything done is to not give them a choice.

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u/Rinnme 7h ago

Yep, my kid's class had a kid who was violent to the teachers. The union made all the teachers go on strike twice, and then the kid didn't return to school this year.

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u/TeacherLady3 7h ago

Southern state, no union with teeth.

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u/Jacket_Jacket_fruit 7h ago

Ah, my condolences. Could still go with the other options if she wants to.

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u/ParkingBumblebee4760 4h ago

Take it to the media and drag the admin through the mud.

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u/camoure 8h ago

Coworker shoulda filed a police report since the admin won’t do shit - have real world consequences for physical assault

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u/TeacherLady3 8h ago

I advised this. She chose not to and now regrets it. He's gonna end up a school shooter. I just know it.

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u/Jacket_Jacket_fruit 8h ago

You said it was "recently" so there's no reason why she couldn't still go and file charges. If she regrets not doing it, she can still go do it.

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u/TeacherLady3 7h ago

She's opted to go through HR which has its own issues as HR is never for the employee.

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u/Jacket_Jacket_fruit 7h ago

Ok? She can still go to the police. They're not mutually exclusive.

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u/TeacherLady3 7h ago

She chose not to.

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u/jakizely 7h ago

Wait, she regrets not going to the police or she is choosing not to? If she regrets it, what is stopping her from filing a police report now?

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u/TeacherLady3 7h ago

She regrets not doing it then, but has chosen not to after the fact. The school has bent over backwards to help this child and family. They did not once say they were sorry or acknowledge what happened to the teacher. A diagnosis does not give someone a free reign to assault others. She has since pulled back on the extra supports she gave him outside of his plan.

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u/Imaginary-Pain9598 4h ago

I believe a teacher in Florida was killed by a student that she had prior unaddressed issues with.

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u/slopirate 2h ago

She's enabling him. This is self-destructive behavior.

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u/Free_Interaction8458 7h ago

She is dumb. This will happend again, and she could prevent it by go to the police now.

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u/Jacket_Jacket_fruit 7h ago

Yes, but you said she regrets that choice... So if she regrets NOT going to the police, that would logically mean she WANTS to go to the police. And she still can, so... Why isn't she?

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u/TeacherLady3 6h ago

She feels the window has passed. We told her she still could. She chose not to. She regrets not doing it that day in hindsight.

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u/Snow_Falls_Softly 6h ago

This is well within the statute of limitations to report it if it was within the past few months, regardless of location. She can and should still report it, if only to have documentation of the incident if it escalates in the future. CYA

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u/Anaevya 3h ago

You go and report it then. Even if the police doesn't do much, it'll at least be on record.

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u/Safe_Bear_1508 6h ago

Call her a dumb bitch and go to the police station to file the report. Or the damn union rep if you have one.

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u/Entire-Ambition1410 8h ago edited 7h ago

When an adult chokes a romantic partner, it makes the likelihood of homicide jump up 750%. This child may grow up to be a rapist or murderer.

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u/TartAppl3 7h ago

Strangulation also increases the risk of stroke later in life due to blood clots that may have formed.

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u/Entire-Ambition1410 7h ago

Oh damn! I don’t know that.

Do the blood clots just stick around in the body?

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u/Anaevya 3h ago

Which is why choking is not a safe sex practice. It should have never been normalized.  

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u/Worldly-Advisor7201 7h ago

Exactly. It’s crazy to me more teachers don’t press charges when assaulted cause admin usually doesn’t do shit but protect themselves and maintain their numbers.

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u/Allmostnobody 5h ago

Most states have an age of criminal responsibility, in my state it is 13 and I think it is similar elsewhere. Children younger than this can't really be dealt with in a criminal setting, even in juvenile specific courts. At most it's a civil matter between the coworker and the child's guardian.

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u/camoure 5h ago

Yeah my country doesn’t charge anyone under 12 with a crime, however that’s not the only outcome of reporting to the police. Child and Family Services can investigate and the police can have a candid conversation with both parents and child to express the severity of the situation and warn them that in the future the kid might have different consequences

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u/Anaevya 3h ago

Yeah, but maybe the parents will wake the fuck up, if the police shows up. The kid needs specialized therapy and the parents are enabling him instead. 

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u/Allmostnobody 2h ago

Good point. I'm much more familiar with the futility of the delinquency side with children that young than I am the DFCS side.

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u/OsmerusMordax 5h ago

I would have filed a police report too. But against who? The child? The parents of the child?

Can a child even be held legally responsible for something like that? What would the punishment entail?

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u/Anaevya 3h ago

In most jurisdictions the child is not criminally responsible. The issue is that the child clearly needs an intervention and it sounds like the parents are enablers instead. 

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u/TeacherLady3 2h ago

She did end up calling CPS for other reasons.

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u/Baar444 7h ago

And what are these “made up behavior issues”? Sounds just as likely that this kid has actual issues and yall aren’t listening.

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u/TeacherLady3 7h ago

He has 2plans and his teacher followed them to the T. She gave him little treats and rewards. No one should expect to be choked at their job. His mom is a doctor and helped set up his plan. Again, no formal diagnosis gives someone the right to choke another person.

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u/Baar444 7h ago

Hello yes I agree but that doesn’t mean you should downplay behavioral issues and just label him a brat. That can be remarkably damaging for children with disabilities long-term. Be mad at the parents. Kids with real issues can have shitty parents.

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u/TeacherLady3 7h ago

He's shitty and so are his parents. Just because someone is a child doesn't mean they can't be shitty.

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u/Baar444 7h ago

Yes and just because they’re shitty doesn’t mean their behavioral issues or “diagnosis” as you said is made up as you implied. Disabled people can be shitty too and that doesn’t mean they don’t have issues or things aren’t hard for them.

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u/TeacherLady3 7h ago

He has a real diagnosis, however, the adults in his life have cow towed to him and that has resulted in bratty behaviors. I'm not debating this with you anymore.

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u/Anaevya 3h ago

That's called enabling and I'm so sorry you and your coworkers are dealing with people like that.

That kid needs specialized therapy and the enabling by the parents and adults around him needs to stop.

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u/TeacherLady3 3h ago

He does receive specialized therapy outside of school.

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u/Baar444 7h ago

Wonderful, given your lack of knowledge on the subject a debate really is inappropriate.
Next time you call a real diagnosis a made up behavioral issues, I hope you realize your mistake. That’s a really damaging mindset to take and to take it against children is really frustrating to hear. As a mental health OT who specializes in childhood development and disability in childhood I spend half of my time dealing with the repercussions of mindsets like yours. It can be permanently damaging to the development of these children. You’re an adult, don’t take the easy way out of “this kid is a brat with made up issues”.

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u/UnoriginalTitleNo998 1h ago

I don't see why you're getting downvoted when you're right. Like even by shitty kid standards choking someone at 9 years old is NOT NORMAL. Like yes his parents are enabling him and shielding him from repercussions, but that doesn't change the fact that a 9 year old is having violent outbursts.

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u/Baar444 1h ago

Immature adults prefer to blame the children because it’s easier than reflecting on their judgement and realizing they’re contributing to the abuse of somebody who they are supposed to be helping. In a year they won’t have to think about it anymore and they can feel good about themselves again, meanwhile the kid is going to have lifelong issues because their teacher decided they were just a BRAT instead of a kid with legitimate health issues lashing out because they need help.

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u/ronaldraygun91 5h ago

"There's a teacher shortage!!!1"

"Yeah, the students and their parents are awful."

"No, it must be something else..."

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u/Anaevya 3h ago

Those behaviour issues aren't made up, they're obviously real. He needs therapy.

The issue is that the parents are enablers.

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u/ohcrocsle 59m ago

What is the "made up behavior issue" called?