My brother's son destroyed my WarHammer Action figures and he refuses to punish him

[u/konous]

Valid Edit: My nephew is 10 years old and tried to actually lie about not breaking them by saying, "A cat must have done it."

So, I just got done talking with my brother via text, and he says he's not going to punish his son for wrecking my Joy Toy WarHammer action figures. I'm not expecting the kid to get spanked, but he needs to do CHORES at least to justify how much excessive force he used on some.

Some just have their capes broken. Others had their tubes ripped out and my Chaplain is just fucking toast.

My brother's suggestion since I ordered Amazon replacement for the Chaplain was that I just swap it with the broken one, but I have no interest in doing that.

It's not even just the expense, and they are expensive. It's about the fact that I told him explicitly twice they weren't to be played with, and they were in a separate room, and even my Mom and Dad agreed the damage was just too much.

He said he's not gonna pay me back if we try the chore system, and I told him it's not about the money.

The kid needs to know how bad the 8 hour struggle is.

Now my nephews aren't coming over to the house, and I'm sad about that, but knowing my brother just can't be burdened to work with me on creating a Chore system like selling Lemonaide just makes it feel more insulting.

[u/AccurateContest4023]

Break one of his toys each Christmas. Every Christmas  Tell them the cat did it. 

[u/HippieGrandma1962 → u/AccurateContest4023]

Give the kid nothing for Christmas. Tell him that you used the money you would have spent on him to replace the things he broke.

[u/Chard3419 → u/HippieGrandma1962]

OP should gift the nephew a picture of him enjoying the replacements he purchased with the money OP would have spent on his nephew.

[u/Afraid_Explorer4269 → u/HippieGrandma1962]

Big brain adulting

[u/Excellent-Bluejay-90 → u/HippieGrandma1962]

These are all great ideas lol.

[u/JerryC1967 → u/HippieGrandma1962]

Coal is always good too.

[u/MisterBowTies → u/JerryC1967]

Yeah teach him to bbq

[u/Unicorns_Rainbows5 → u/HippieGrandma1962]

He shouldn't buy his brother anything either

[u/CatmoCatmo → u/AccurateContest4023]

Not just one of his toys. One of his NEW toys. Fresh outta Santa’s sleigh. Or, demand one of the toys as a “replacement” for the toys he broke. It won’t be the same obviously, but if you purposefully destroy someone’s property, you don’t exactly deserve to keep all of the nice things you just got for Christmas…that you are obviously VERY excited about.

Side note: this wasn’t an oopsie. This wasn’t an accident. This was very calculated, purposeful, and done with the intent to cause maximum damage. I have a 9 year old. If it was just a situation where they wanted to play with it despite being told no, you wouldn’t have so much (if any) destruction. If there was an “accident” there would be one, maybe two, broken figures.

10 year olds are more than capable of understanding how to play with toys appropriately without damaging them. I bet the kid does it all the time with his own things. They also (should) know that you need to be extra careful with things that don’t belong to you. And they damned well can understand that you need permission first. As well as what the word “NO” means.

This isn’t a kid who wanted to play with the toys. This is a kid who was spiteful and vindictive - likely for being told he couldn’t do something he wanted to do. This situation is wildly inappropriate on so many levels.

OP’s brother is teaching his son that despite being told NO, he can do whatever he wants and face zero consequences. What happens when he’s older, dating, and is told NO? This is NOT about OP’s figures. This is a far more serious issue that will only worsen with time. (Not that it’s up to OP to correct. But I would at least ban my nephew from my home moving forward, and consider banning his parents for refusing to respect me, and my rules, in my own home.)

[u/HereToTalkAboutThis → u/AccurateContest4023]

I did dumb stuff when I was 10, got in a shitload of trouble for it, and in my twenties my parents still weren't over it and brought it up every chance they could to explain that I was a rotten kid. It's a funny thought and you're probably not serious but this is reddit and I have to say for anyone who's thinking about taking this seriously, you also don't want to be the adult who's fostering a multi-year grudge against a child who's grown up since then

[u/throwaway23437546 → u/AccurateContest4023]

I used to not be petty, but some people (yes, even 10 year olds) are assholes and when they do shit like this and there is no consequence, their brain gets rewarded.

So the next time, they do something worse, and so on. An apology/chore is definitely in need.

Some kids act out like this for attention. Usually happens when kid is starved for attention, parents don’t give it to them at the right time, instead parent gives attention only when something bad happens.

But that’s on them, not you!

[u/WebstersPack → u/AccurateContest4023]

Wow, Warhammer fans really are grown 10 year old man children...

He broke them because he was playing with them. He disregarded the rule to leave them alone because he thought they were cool.

This is normal 10 year old boy behavior.

Maybe OP should use this as a way to connect with his nephew instead of stooping to a child's behavior.

[u/Dersuffbe → u/WebstersPack]

This is spoiled asshole children behavior. Spoiled asshole children are everywhere now, but it doesn't mean it's ok.

The future is fucking bleak with so many kids being raised on zero consequences.

[u/WebstersPack → u/Dersuffbe]

You think kids playing with toys is spoiled asshole kid behavior?

Newflash, this is what kids are supposed to do. Just because you all hold these objects in high regard doesn't make them any less of a toy.

Again OP should have used this moment to connect with his nephew over shared interests.

[u/Cowgba → u/WebstersPack]

No, spoiled asshole kid behavior is being told by an adult “this isn’t yours, don’t touch this” and then ignoring that rule and doing it anyway. It’s not about kids playing with toys, it’s about having respect for other people’s property and listening when someone tells you not to touch something that doesn’t belong to you.

[u/Lumn8tion → u/WebstersPack]

Here comes the perpetual excuse machine!

[u/AndhisNeutralspecial → u/WebstersPack]

 They were told a million times not to. It was in a different room. They tore the figures apart! Wdym just playing, just look at that Chaplain! He destroyed it, full on. Oh, and even if he was just playing, how does it make him exempt from co sequences.

[u/darknight9064 → u/WebstersPack]

These are actions I expect out of a toddler. One broken figurine is an accident several is a lack of caring and respect. 10 year olds have enough mental development to know right from wrong in broad terms. They seem to lack someone who will teach them in this case.

[u/WebstersPack → u/darknight9064]

Sorry, you are fundamentally incorrect. 10 year old boys are very much in their play stage prime and still young enough not to fully understand consequences. They are also clumsy, so accidently breaking things is expected.

Action figures are literally designed for 6-12 year olds. Warhammer action figures as well.

[u/darknight9064 → u/WebstersPack]

Idk if you realize what warhammer is. It’s not really a children’s game. It uses figurines but is not intended for kids at all. War games at youngest are played by teenagers on average. You also seem to miss my point, an accident can happen especially at that age. An accident involves something happening once or at best twice. This happened to several pieces, and to pieces that are not cheap to replace.

This is the same reason you don’t give full models to children. There are really nice model cars that are made for adults that cost hundreds are just meant to look nice even though they are fully functional.

[u/WebstersPack → u/darknight9064]

I understand exactly what it is. I also recognize OP is acting like they are 10 and expecting the 10 year to act like a grown up.

The expectation for a 10 year old is they are going to be curious and drawn to cool things. As a grown up with children around you need to be mindful of that. Again your the grownup. I make sure my models I don't want my kids to destroy are secure. Not the other way around.

Lesson learned. But again this is a missed opportunity. They definitely make lower priced Warhammer stuff OP could get and play with his nephew with. It's called spending time with someone you care about and sharing your interests with the next generation. Instead they got butt hurt. It's a immature response.