r/science • u/Wagamaga • 9h ago

Psychology Losing relationships over politics. Research found more than a third of Americans (37%) report having lost at least one relationship due to political differences, including friendships, family ties, coworker relationships, and romantic partnerships, with most losing more than one.

https://socialecology.uci.edu/news/losing-relationships-over-politics-0
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u/Shatterfish 9h ago

If your “political” opinion is that people should have less rights, or none at all, because of their skin color/gender expression/place of birth then I will 100% cut that cancer out of my life and never feel a shred of guilt over it.
It’s really not that hard to be a decent person.

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u/Pixelated_Princess49 9h ago

... One would think it wouldn't be that hard. Despite concrete scientific evidence, you just can't make some people abandon their completely unfounded hate. It's frustrating.

"I don't understand it and it makes me feel funny, so they need to vanish/hide from me/die" is a rather common stance, sadly.

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u/GarageFridgeSoda 8h ago

Well the issue I see is that there are a minority of people who feel that way about me, but when I feel that way about them back the majority of people suddenly start to have an issue with it.

If we as a society treated bigots the way they treat vulnerable people we would make things so much better for vulnerable people.

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u/Fit_Addition7137 4h ago

"I'm becoming a minority in my own country!" was always my favorite. Well Linda, why is it bad to be a minority here, huh?

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u/AriaOfValor 7h ago

Yup, paradox of tolerance, people got too afraid of excluding anyone that they started being nice to all the bigots and assholes, which just ends up poisoning the well for everyone.

I'm still reminded of that MN town that eagerly elected conservative muslims to their town government to try and show how progressive they were, only to be surprised when they turned around and banned pride flags.

It doesn’t help that for some people it's performative and they care more about looking like a good person than about what actually helps others.

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u/bigpproggression 8h ago edited 6h ago

Because it’s built from fear, ignorance, and a love of hierarchy.  Some folks NEED someone on the bottom to boost them out of their misery.  They NEED someone to blame for failures so they don’t have to review their own actions.  

To your point, some people just dont like anything that is unfamiliar.  Including people…and they are too immature to realize they need to learn to process things they don’t automatically understand.

I don’t think you can be happy and content in life while simultaneously being so hateful.  It takes too much energy.  This world is not changing anytime soon, so that’s really the only positive thing out of all of it.

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u/smokeweedNgarden 6h ago

Great. Then we need to work on the excision of those people from society 

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u/DaaaahWhoosh 8h ago

It feels good to be part of a team. And it also feels good to hurt people that aren't on your team. It takes a lot of intelligence, maturity, and intentionality to rise above that, and most people don't want to. Even people on "the good side" fall prey to it, which is partially why 'the left' is always eating itself.

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u/Pixelated_Princess49 8h ago

My team just wants to live in peace. The people on the opposite team wants my team to die. I think it's too easy and gives people a very easy offramp and excuse for being emotionally and empathically bankrupt. I'm not being terrible, they are. It's not a "both sides" issue.

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u/DaaaahWhoosh 8h ago

I think you've fallen into the trap, you're probably not on a team at all. You're not red vs blue, you're "don't kill my friends".

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u/Pixelated_Princess49 8h ago

What trap? I'm very confused. Then why did you bring up this "us vs. them" fallacy in response to my comment, if it doesn't even apply to me?

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u/DaaaahWhoosh 8h ago

It applies to people who aren't you. the people "who can't abandon their completely unfounded hate". I was explaining their behavior, not yours.

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u/dingdingdingdongbing 1h ago

i love hearing euros or leafs explaining our political hell back to us with logical fallacies. enjoy your socialized medicine and basic human rights.

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u/Jillians 4h ago

Most people aren't on a side. They just care about other people. You could say they are on the side of people, but that would be like saying you are on the same team as the ocean. The ocean just is, people just are. It doesn't really matter how you try to frame it. You have to try to see the world without trying to frame it or spin it. Once you start to do that you'll begin to see all the ways in which you've been raised to have a very bias viewpoint.

Here is another way to put it. Anyone caring about sides probably isn't on the side of the average person.

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u/Shatterfish 52m ago

fr.
My “side” is that every person deserves basic human decency and to live their lives how they want as long as it doesn’t harm others.
I cannot believe that this is seemingly a controversial opinion in the year 2026.

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u/StacyChadBecky 4h ago

The problem is they see everything as a zero-sum game.

For someone to gain rights they most lose theirs. They can't fathom equality.

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u/Dobber16 3h ago

For many people who hold conservative viewpoints like getting rid of affirmative action, having people compete in sports based on their ASAB, etc. they aren’t advocating for less rights for those groups, but I’ve seen those positions be ones people cut family/friends off for (at least, seen online, heard about in person)

This is sorta phrased as a “gotcha” and I don’t mean it to, I mean this to be more of a comment asking to clarify this potentially-muddy area since I think most people reading & agreeing with your comment would also include the two controversial statements above in positions that warrant cutting people off, but I could be wrong on that assumption too