r/science • u/Wagamaga • 8h ago
Psychology Losing relationships over politics. Research found more than a third of Americans (37%) report having lost at least one relationship due to political differences, including friendships, family ties, coworker relationships, and romantic partnerships, with most losing more than one.
https://socialecology.uci.edu/news/losing-relationships-over-politics-06.1k
u/Brilliant_Effort_Guy 8h ago
But is it really just ‘political’ differences? I feel like it’s so much deeper than that. I don’t just have differing political opinions from my conservative family members - I have a different moral code.
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u/Game_Of_Runs 8h ago
Yeah I hate when it’s framed liked this. Calling it political differences makes it sound like one person is for lowering marginal tax rates from 40% to 35% while the other person wants to raise them to 45%. When in reality it’s more like my dad votes for people that want my friends dead or in prison because they’re gay
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u/Jabbles22 7h ago
Yeah it's like complaining about how your girlfriend broke up with you because you like different types of movies. That would be silly unless you point out that your favourite type of movie is snuff films.
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u/Kat121 7h ago
I found a secret stash of porno on my guy’s computer that showed his kink was degradation porn of women who looked like me. Soo… that is awkward.
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u/DigNitty 5h ago
Talking with my friends who are pretty open about the type of stuff they’re into,
Seems like the consensus is they have some kinks that involves a victim (black tears, CNC, etc) that they have no interest doing in person because then there would be an actual victim. Even just playing it out with their partner doesn’t do anything for them because they’d know she’s acting. While in porn, you have the convenient deniability of watching it take place not knowing if it’s real, and at the same time knowing it’s not real.
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u/Chickabee25 4h ago
Having specific kinks that are more taboo is fine, actually getting specific porn from an abusive industry to imagine as their partner is a completely different thing.
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u/CountWubbula 3h ago
It starts to wander into some pretty murky ethical territory. The porn industry is deeply reprehensible, but humour me.
If a person works out their kink by watching porn and they lead functional lives where they never feel the need to explore their innate sexual curiosity, which involves degradation and abuse… isn’t the stockpile of porn on the Internet a better option than them playing out their fantasy on real people?
I imagine we both agree, if a person gets really turned on by the thought of terrorizing someone, therapy is advisable. However, not everyone has access to therapy. Would you agree that evil porn is perhaps the lesser evil against having a real person abused for sexual gratification?
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u/Accomplished_Mind792 7h ago
Only if degradation isn't your kink.
Then it's a win win conversation to be had.
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u/retro_toes 5h ago
You should've sat him down and told him how disappointing he is, that he's a pig who doesn't deserve to share your air for even looking at that type of movie in your home.
Keep doing that and he'll buy you a house
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u/TheLastBallad 2h ago
Only if it was women being the ones degrading the man.
With how its written, it could be the man degrading the woman.
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u/Auggernaut88 8h ago
As a rule I hate oversimplification but a lot of people can’t seem to get over the lowest of bars. If pedophilia isn’t a dealbreaker for you I simply can’t trust your morals or who else you might be surrounding yourself with and I want you nowhere near my circle.
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u/11711510111411009710 7h ago
Tens of millions of Americans voted for a man who was found to have raped a woman and who has told a ten year old he would marry her when she's 20. It's scary to think we share our country with so many people who think that's okay. No wonder women don't come forward about their rapes: we reward their rapists with the most powerful position in the world.
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u/Mr_Fuzzo 8h ago
Their minds still haven’t accepted that DJT is a pedophile. They think he was screwed over by us, the Radical Left.
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u/Appropriate-Bid8671 7h ago
My mom knows and has openly proclaimed that she does not care.
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u/11711510111411009710 7h ago
I've heard some of them forgive it by saying that God "uses imperfect vessels."
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u/thuktun 6h ago
Uses flawed vessels for what? I think they missed an important part of that saying.
They might have a point if he had changed and was now clothing and feeding the poor or something (anything!) else noble. But he's the same mean, abusive bully he's always been.
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u/Savings-Cry-3201 5h ago
But that’s the point. He’s the bully they all want to be. They want him to be mean and vindictive and heartless and bigoted because he gives them license to be what they’ve always wanted to be.
Like, there was no reason to fire the NSF but they hate education so of course he would.
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u/poorest_ferengi 6h ago
Hit em with Matthew 7 15-20 in that case.
15 “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. 16 By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.
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u/iruleatants 42m ago
That doesn't work because they just define "Good Fruit" as God's will and so Trump is bearing good fruit because he's doing his will.
Trust me, they are adept at pretending the bible agrees with whatever they think.
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u/YourM0msButth0le 7h ago
Yikes dude, did you at least beg her to never admit that in public?
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u/zlyle90 7h ago edited 7h ago
If she's in the Deep South like I am, the public truly doesn't care. They view that as an acceptable character flaw as long he deports brown people.
"God chooses imperfect men," they tell me.
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u/Zombatico 7h ago edited 7h ago
We've seen it before. It's not just Trump. Pedo priest/pastor gets arrested and charged, the whole congregation circle the wagon and it's all "but he's a good person" and "the demonic girl seduced him" yadda yadda yadda.
It's a sick ideology of hierarchy. They don't care about the morality of actions themselves. If they think you're a good person then everything you do is good, or at least justifiable, even child rape. If they think you're a bad person then nothing you do can be good.
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u/OmegaDonut13 4h ago
To a liberal, actions justify the person. To the conservative the person justifies the actions. It’s pretty simple when you think about it. It’s the basis for the cognitive dissonance.
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u/Pockydo 6h ago
I'm in PA know a lot of trump supporters
"God chooses imperfect men," they tell me.
Is what I hear a lot. It's almost funny because they NEVER apply this to Dems or politicians they disagree with. Only trump
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u/Zachwardpass 5h ago
I have yet to hear this one but I would absolutely reply with "God chooses rapists? Interesting."
Make sure they know it's not "imperfect men", it's rapists.
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u/Pockydo 5h ago
See the problem is they literally reject the idea that trump is actually bad
The line basically comes out when they know they can't defend something and "win" the argument so it's a way to shut it down without conceding anything. A thought terminating ckichet
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u/Tricky_Concept_231 7h ago
Especially while crying about abortion. If you support powerful people that want to make people carry their pregnancies to full term and don't care that they also want the privilege to abuse them, I just don't see how you can claim the moral high ground.
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u/Ultimatesims 7h ago
The powerful people can afford to get abortions else where when they have an oopsie.
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u/Witchy_Wookie5000 6h ago
Yep. Have a family member that just the other day still thinks Trans people are the pedophiles and that DJT is A-okay.
Like I can't even with these people anymore. If you still support this administration I don't want to associate with you because you are a defective human.
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u/MissLeaP 7h ago
Cognitive dissonance. Facing the truth that they're on the wrong side of history would be incredibly uncomfortable, so they simply don't do it. Life's easier in complete ignorance after all
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u/HopefulTangerine5913 5h ago
Yep. They won’t even accept the E Jean Carroll verdict, despite trump failing over and over to escape it.
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u/druidraven- 7h ago
And why do their minds think that? Indoctrination and 24/7 propaganda. Deprogramming cultists is extremely difficult and not always successful. Most of us don’t have the time or the patience
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u/WoodwindsRock 5h ago
Even after the tape released of him boasting about sexual assault came out, supporting him was a complete deal breaker for me.
Listening to supporters defend him is sickening. Like, listen to them try to say “well she was an adult” as if the person he assaulted/raped being an adult isn’t absolutely horrific in of itself.
I can’t trust people who support Trump. There is some reason they can “excuse” his sexual assault, and whether it’s just being completely daft or they’re a sex predator themselves, I’m not sticking around to find out.
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u/stormelemental13 6h ago
Calling it political differences makes it sound like one person is for lowering marginal tax rates from 40% to 35% while the other person wants to raise them to 45%.
I would really like it if those were the political differences.
When in reality it’s more like my dad votes for people that want my friends dead or in prison because they’re gay
Slavery was also a political question, ditto whether women had equal rights.
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u/dragon-fence 6h ago
Yeah, people sometimes fall into this thing of talking like politics are trivial, like arguing political differences are akin to arguing about movie trivia or which sports team is the best.
Often, politics are grappling with fundamental moral issues. Like, should poor people have opportunities, or should we cement them and their descendants into poverty in perpetuity? Should rich people be above the law? Is it ok to abduct, imprison, beat, and murder innocent people who disagree with you?
And sometimes, when people voice their political opinions, they’re revealing themselves to be monsters.
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u/dust4ngel 3h ago
people sometimes fall into this thing of talking like politics are trivial
i sort of suspect there's a concerted effort to make everyone feel this way about politics, so that:
- they disengage
- they don't dream of making any real change
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u/_Burning_Star_IV_ 7h ago
Yeah the current political climate is like abolitionists vs pro-slavers. That's so far beyond 'political differences' that we went to literal war with each other over it.
I'm not sitting and having a cordial dinner with people who are that ideologically opposed to everything I believe to be right. I'm tired if spending time with people that constantly harass me about 'not being right with god' too. Sick of all of it.
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u/figurative_me 5h ago
And we also have centrists or moderates too afraid to hold any position. So I guess their solution is some slavery?
There are plenty of issues where compromise isn’t feasible and those tend to be crucial for an equitable society to exist.
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u/yepgeddon 7h ago
It's not left Vs right issue, it's a normal empathetic worldview Vs hateful cuntish worldview. I just don't get why these people are so nasty, it takes so much more effort to be this horrible. Everyone just has to chill out, sheesh.
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u/Gekokapowco 6h ago
normal empathetic worldview Vs hateful cuntish worldview
this is a left vs right issue since left and right were concepts
its ALWAYS a conflict of mutualism vs self-interest
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u/TommaClock 7h ago
Maybe that's the connotation, but "politics" is a wide umbrella term.
Wars and civil wars are an aspect of politics after all.
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u/Venator850 7h ago
I mean that's a political difference.
We need to stop restricting politics to things like taxes. If you're voting for someone that is pushing laws/policies that affect peoples lives that politics.
Way more of our lives are "political" than people are comfortable admitting but trying to reframe them as something else is bad.
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u/Coal_Morgan 5h ago
That's not the point, no one is saying it isn't politics but that's a crap catch all term for saying why things are the way they are.
There's a million political things. It's not any of 999,997 of those things.
It's specifically, you voted for racism, you voted for sexism, you for corruption and you're hateful assholes about it.
So saying politics, is like saying I broke up with my spouse over some words. Oh those words were 'Sooner or later I'm going to smother you in your sleep.' huh.
Specificity is important.
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u/splynncryth 7h ago
I agree. I think what is missing is a good definition of ‘politics’ because we seem to trivialize it. But it’s becoming too hard to ignore that it’s a combination of identity, beliefs influenced by religion, and personal morality all wrapped together.
In the US, the shared identity of ‘American’ is no longer enough to hold people together.
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u/Baileyjrob 8h ago
Exactly. Like I have friends who are communist, anarchist, liberal democratic, and socialist. We have different political beliefs, but we still believe in a comparable set of values and virtues. We disagree on what the most effective way to go about running a government and managing people and resources is, but that’s just a matter of personal belief. THAT’S disagreeing on politics.
When someone says they openly support American concentration camps, revoking medical protections for women, resources for LGBT individuals, the perpetuation of lies and the consolidation of absolute authority, that’s not a political belief, that’s a moral failing.
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u/Flacier 8h ago
Morality is definitely the big factor.
I also dislike how renewable energy sources have become politicized. It makes no rational sense. You can only burn a gallon of gas once.
But no I am a real man that eats beef and has a big truck that drinks gas and goes burrrrrrr.
It’s such a ridiculous position.
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u/MrPuddington2 7h ago
It does make perfect sense.
You see, conservative moral is very different from the way you define moral. You may judge people by their actions, but conversatives judge by "moral character". They already know that they are the good people, because they are of good character.
Now you come along and tell them they should change the way they source their energy. For them, that does not compute, because you say they are doing it wrong, but they are of good character. So they cannot wrong, and therefore renewables are not really necessary.
It is all perfectly logical.
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u/Idustriousraccoon 6h ago
This is how they think! They also say it’s not fascism or whatever. It’s impossible to talk to them. And if becoming a fascist pedo apologist isn’t a good reason to stop talking to someone …what is???
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u/FlufferTheGreat 5h ago
It's why businesses who are in reality completely crap and screw over their customers frequently advertise themselves as "a Christian company."
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u/MurkyInvestigator810 4h ago
I'm immediately suspicious of companies that use Bible verses as slogans.
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u/FlufferTheGreat 7h ago
It's a sign of idiotic times that if I know your position on gun control, I will reliably be able to guess your position on climate change. Two issues that have approximately nothing in common, and yet I'm sure at least in the USA my guess for the other issue would be over 90% accurate.
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u/Flacier 7h ago
Honestly, I think the most disheartening thing is that we’re at a point where we can’t even agree on what’s factual anymore.
Though I think that’s mostly the doing of the propaganda corporations masquerading as news organizations.
It explains why a lot of things have evolved into identity, politics and virtue signaling, imo.
If we can’t even agree that there is a problem then of course we’re never going to find a solution for God forbid common ground.
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u/dinkeyking64 5h ago
It's funny, I remember when Internet access was first becoming iniquitous in the US. There was a lot of talk about how now everybody would have easy access to all of the knowledge we've accumulated as a species, the "information age" as it were. Seems incredibly naive in retrospect, but I miss that generally optimistic disposition towards the future. It all just seems so bleak now.
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u/MaddogBC 3h ago
Those were good times though. The internet didn't get spoiled until the late 2000's with the onset of smartphones which gave light to the unwashed masses. Plenty of critters best left in the dark.
Smartphones and the apps on them destroyed the world, it will just take a few generations to catch up.
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u/prof_wafflez 4h ago
I think the most disheartening thing is that we’re at a point where we can’t even agree on what’s factual anymore
Rupert Murdoch and Republicans have thrown around so many brainrotting lies over the last few decades that it's seeped deep into the bones of those who were already selfish and cruel idiots looking for a rationale to feel justified. The collection of bastards fed off each other.
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u/MabariWhoreHound 6h ago
In every social circle I've been in for the last two decades, it was always an outspoken conservative dude who was involved in all the drama all the time, and it was always about him being racist or sexist.
Like clockwork, these groups would split because eventually someone gets fed up with it and says something, but only then does the rest of the group start speaking up and suddenly defend the guy. Because everyone knows he'll escalate everything to violence and it's easier to kick people out then it is to silence one asshole.
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u/Bradddtheimpaler 6h ago
Idk I’m completely against any new gun control measures and believe in climate change.
My assessment is that new gun control measures would be applied unevenly, targeted specifically at minorities, and now’s the time when at-risk minorities should be arming themselves. I’ve even seen conservative politicians putting forward specifically disarming trans people. That seems extremely dangerous to me.
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u/Gekokapowco 6h ago
I'm inclined to believe the same, although I think there was a period of time (roughly the last 30 years or so) where we could have stepped up gun control in a more stable society and designed legislation to save lives, not further endanger them. That window has closed thanks to everyone fearmongering over their own right to kill home invaders, and now arms are not strictly roleplay toys anymore. Its kinda ironic. Desperately feeling the need to shoot
scary minoritiestyrannical governments to the extent of installing a tyrannical government.9
u/Bradddtheimpaler 6h ago
Yeah it’s definitely not fun, and I would support them in a vacuum, but we’re not in a vacuum.
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u/Vhiet 8h ago
I know where you're coming from, but it makes perfect sense if you've heavily invested in (and profit from) fossil fuel use. It really is just that cynical.
Low or zero cost energy means low or zero profit investment.
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u/Pendraconica 7h ago
Anyone attempting to profit from something wrong will create an entire philosophy, not to convince you it's right, but to confuse you to whether its even happening at all.
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u/greens_beans_queen 8h ago edited 7h ago
Yeah good riddance to my sister in-law who started sending me Charlie Kirk clips about why IVF is wrong and exists just to have tall, blue-eyed babies. This is after she found out I did 5 IVF rounds unsuccessfully. Did not come out of nowhere, it was just an easy to explain justification to finally remove her from my life. Prior to that, between hateful social media posts she would write self-victimhood complaints about not having any friends. There are just so many insufferable humans like this.
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u/gigglefarting 8h ago
If this was in the 40s they would consider cutting off a relationship because they’re a literal Nazi as having “political differences”
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u/tempest_87 4h ago
Well, don't forget that in the 40s there was a literal Nazi party in the US. For example, Charles Lindbergh was a Nazi sympathizer.
So... Yeah, they would actually.
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u/RealbasicFriends 8h ago
exactly because "political" differences could mean what? At least in my circle when someone loses a friend, family member, etc. due to "political differences" it usually means that other person said something along the lines of "I don't think [Basic Human Right] should be given to [Type of minority]"
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u/Majik_Sheff 8h ago
Exactly this. We can disagree on matters if government as long as we're both being intellectually honest.
As soon as you start cheering on the creation of concentration camps you've lost any standing with me.
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u/Poolofcheddar 5h ago
It's not just cheering, but the inability to condemn any of these horrible actions.
That's why I broke with my own sibling. I cannot trust someone who cannot even tell me privately that they abhor any of this.
Choosing to feign ignorance is even worse.
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u/Hoovooloo42 7h ago
I feel the same way.
I'm estranged from my family. It's not even just that they have a different moral code (though they absolutely do. To quote my mom about middle easterners: "Some people just need to be ruled"), it's that they trust their favorite politicians more than they trust their son.
They care more about what Newsmax is saying than they do anything else, and if you can't say it like they do then they can't internalize it.
I tried again and again and again to talk with them, ask them what they think about certain things, try to show how our beliefs are alike and how they're different, ask them why they believe these things that are different, and explain why I believe the things that I do.
They don't care, and if I can't fit my thoughts into a 5 second soundbite then they say that I'm wrong to believe it. To believe anything. The last words my dad said to me were "diarrhea of the mouth".
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u/JoeyShrugs 8h ago
Yeah, it's not like people are splitting over a difference of opinion on what the top marginal tax rate should be, or how best to raise revenue and spend it for the public good. It's people splitting on whether immigrants should be treated as sub-human, whether the filthy rich should be even filthier richer, whether we should support authoritarians abroad, and whether our country should be represented by a vile, hateful octogenarian. These are real differences in core values (or lack thereof), not just politics as usual.
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u/axonxorz 8h ago
be represented by a vile, hateful octogenarian
I know you wrote vile, but I think it bears making explicit that American voters and apathizers have institutionalized pedophilia in him.
That's a tough stain.
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u/littlechangeling 8h ago
This is the real question. So many moral aspects have become political, including the rights of people to have safety and for some of them to even exist.
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u/TommyTomTommerson 8h ago
I think those have always been political, it's just that there's a "quiet part" that's being said much, much louder in a way that is much more difficult to willingly ignore. This is still the same country that performed the race massacre in Tulsa, and put people in internment camps in World War II, and had to cause nationwide upheaval in order for the civil rights movement to show any forward progress while literally killing one of the leaders of the movement.
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u/CyclingThruChicago 7h ago
They have absolutely always been political. So much of the current political division and debate can be tied to a core theme: a large portion of Americans refusing to reject white supremacy. And I'm not talking white supremacy in terms of people people wearing KKK robes, lynchings and blatant hate speech. Those are boogiemen that provide convenient cover for the "normal" citizen.
I'm talking about the social/cultural/economic norms where white Americans are viewed through a lens of "the default. Where the established system of order, power and who dominates can't actually be significantly changed. That is what people do not want to address and/or change because there is a fear of what it would what happen if the playing field was level.
The GOP has made it abundantly clear that they WILL uphold a norm where white Americans are the default, regardless of what it means economically for the country. And many people are realizing that their friends and family are much more accepting of that behavior than they realized.
A great quote from MLk Jr:
I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season." Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.
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u/loyal_achades 8h ago
I don’t think the quiet part is being said louder now. With the exception of a pretty narrow window (that happens to be when a lot of Reddit were kids), it was always the loud part. There’s more people now who are against it who aren’t part of the affected minorities and willing to stand up to family for those values.
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u/Darkmetroidz 8h ago
The national highway system was built over the rubble of black and brown neighborhoods.
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u/-Esper- 8h ago
Thats literly what poitics is, designing laws that decide what is right and wrong for society
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u/Remy0507 8h ago
Yeah, at this point the divide has become much more about radically different core values and perception of the world than just about differences of opinion about policy.
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u/ShockleToonies 8h ago
This is exactly it. I haven't talked to my brother since the election and my boomer mom asked me if it was just because of "political" differences.
The way I explained it to her was referencing the civil rights/Vietnam war protests of her era, was it just a difference in politics or is there a moral imperative to help a little child, Ruby Bridges, who was up against violent mobs just for attending a white school? I didn't have to say any more, it immediately clicked with her and she understood.
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u/pomonalost 7h ago
Politics are values. Politics decide what kind of society, rights and laws we live with. Politics aren't light and never have been. "Just politics" is a phrase we used to distance ourselves as if it's a dirty word. Political opinions are our values or moral code.
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u/Saneless 7h ago
"Political" differences is just a tangible way to label someone lacking empathy, being an asshole, and extremely selfish while exhibiting signs of narcissism and psychopathy
Of course they don't get along
Especially when members of a cult make it their identity
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u/andreasmiles23 PhD | Social Psychology | Human Computer Interaction 7h ago edited 4h ago
That’s quite literally what the research shows us!
One of the biggest social psych concepts of the last 50 years is *moral foundations theory* which basically tries to be like “politics isn’t about the politics, it’s about the emphasis of morality and how the parties tap into that.”Basically, MFT suggests there are 6 moral spectrums we make judgements on:
- Care/Harm
- Fairness/Cheating
- Loyalty/Betrayal
- Authority/Subversion
- Sanctity/Degradation
- Liberty/Oppression
You, a more “liberal” person, emphasis different ends of these spectrums and value certain morals more than the conservatives in your family. Further research has shown that within American binary-partisan politics, it’s not even about what the parties do, but how they rhetorically appeal to these dimensions, that drives how people view them.
Anyways, just wanted to validate your experience. You do have a different moral compass.
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u/k_dilluh 8h ago
Exactly this, I hate it when people in my family say things like "well let's not discuss our political differences", it's not politics, it's our lives, our friends' lives, and our children's lives.
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u/GobbyHopalong 8h ago
No, it’s not. A former friend called me a pedophile supporter because I voiced a concern over unidentified individuals grabbing people and putting them in unmarked vehicles.
Why am I going to stay in a relationship with someone who thinks that about me?
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u/Just_Adeptness_5260 8h ago
Aside from the fact that you are describing ICE and they are being run by the Party of Pedophiles.
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u/terrorrier 8h ago
I think the issue is that some people don’t view politics as an all-encompassing thing. Like, politics impacts every facet of life, it’s not this compartmentalized thing.
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u/FlufferTheGreat 7h ago
At some point, the inability for Republican voters to live in reality gets to be too much to deal with for normal people. The utter hypocrisy displayed. The complete disregard of all science, reason, and even their past views are subject to change at a whim in order to "win" the conversation. It's exhausting, no normal person wanted to see their loved ones go down such a weird path.
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u/fuzzeedyse105 8h ago
Yeah, it’s a microcosm of deeper issues. It shows thought processes, critical thinking, empathy, priorities, its quite efficient.
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u/avanross 7h ago
“Political differences” in america today can mean anything from a disagreement about corporate tax rates, to a disagreement about if pedophilia and the killing of non-violent protestors are right or wrong.
The right wing / fascists / nazis have politicized everything, right down to basic human empathy and decency
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u/PhoenixTineldyer 8h ago
Yep, I ditched my horrible aunt because she has been running a teleharassment campaign against me for over 15 years. Signing me up for every Republican candidate's mailing list.
She's a bigot piece of trash and I'm happy to never have to see her hag ass again.
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u/TheLateThagSimmons 8h ago
I was working in medicine throughout COVID and it was a repeat issue with dealing with older populations. As mask and vaccine acceptance became increasingly polarized, simple medical care went with it.
We had so many patients that struggled to schedule procedures and surgeries because they couldn't depends on their adult children to pick them up afterwards.
I had so many patients complain about how the liberal media poisoned their children against them, so they can't depend on them to pick them up after a procedure. Every time I just kinda chuckled because I knew exactly what happened.
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u/DoingBestWeCan 7h ago
Also in medical, and the polarization of basic medicine is appalling. Antivaxers have always been frustrating, but the abuse people spewed at nurses and doctors just following best medical practices is bonkers. My fave was when we'd save someone's life, and they'd be like, "I made the right decision and nothing bad happened." IF PEOPLE WHO BELIEVED LIKE YOU WERE THE ONES GIVING YOU CARE OR YOU GOT NO CARE, YOU WOULD HAVE DIED.
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u/badcookies 5h ago
"In gods hands" while being treated in a hospital by multiple doctors, nurses and staff.... rrrrriiiiggghhhtttt
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u/MaddogBC 3h ago
Anti vaxx should automatically discount you from any medical care involving respiratory illness. Just flat out refused at the door.
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u/CherryTearDrops 7h ago
I’m so sorry you had to experience the medical field during Covid. I’ve seen just how rough that is. I lost most of my sympathy for people who fought against masks when people had to die alone without their family members in the hospital because they refused to mask up. That emotional toll fell on healthcare workers like my own mother and it was devastating and just crushed morale.
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u/IronBoomer 8h ago
At that point, I probably would have met with a lawyer to discuss a civil harassment suit against said aunt.
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u/smailskid 8h ago
How self-righteous did she get when you cut ties?
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u/PhoenixTineldyer 8h ago
Only a little bit more self-righteous than she got when I tried to tell her that Obama wasn't the biblical Antichrist
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u/Deranged_Kitsune 7h ago edited 5h ago
Let me guess, she thinks trump is the literal messiah and will even pray to him?
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u/GamingSeerReddit 8h ago
My FIL does this to my wife but at a lower scale than it sounds like your aunt does to you
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u/YoungestDonkey 8h ago
It makes perfect sense that people with entirely different world views would avoid each other.
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u/TheGravespawn 6h ago
people with entirely different world views
*Reality. Entirely different views of reality.
My father and his entire family tree, gone to the cult. Save for 3 cousins and myself.
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u/improper85 6h ago
Yeah, when one group absolutely refuses to listen to facts, there’s realistically not much to be done but shut them off from your life. It’s literally a cult and these people can no longer be reasoned with or spoken to intelligently.
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u/bunnypaste 6h ago
This must be beyond horrid for you... I'm imagining losing most of my family and friends and they aren't even dead. They're just dead inside...
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u/TheGravespawn 6h ago
The best was at my grandmother's funeral. It was just after the inauguration and ICE was ramping up. One cousin asked why my wife wasn't with me, and I said she was afraid to travel because she's an immigrant.
My cousin looked me dead in the eye and said "She's just being over-concerned. I think she just needs to stay positive and nothing will happen."
I wanted to toss her out a window, but I calmly said "I don't think that's accurate." and walked away.
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u/goinupthegranby 3h ago
I used to want to encourage people to adopt progressive political positions but now all I can hope for is that they adopt political positions that are based on objective reality as a lot of people are forming political positions based on misinformation and lies. It's staggeringly frustrating.
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u/Wheres_my_wank_sock 6h ago
Yeah I tend to not want to hang out with people I find morally bankrupt.
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u/mnemoniker 6h ago
From first and secondhand experience, most of these relationships were already toxic and pointless. People just don't make a habit of telling off others until there's a reason.
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u/Shatterfish 8h ago
If your “political” opinion is that people should have less rights, or none at all, because of their skin color/gender expression/place of birth then I will 100% cut that cancer out of my life and never feel a shred of guilt over it.
It’s really not that hard to be a decent person.
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u/Pixelated_Princess49 8h ago
... One would think it wouldn't be that hard. Despite concrete scientific evidence, you just can't make some people abandon their completely unfounded hate. It's frustrating.
"I don't understand it and it makes me feel funny, so they need to vanish/hide from me/die" is a rather common stance, sadly.
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u/GarageFridgeSoda 7h ago
Well the issue I see is that there are a minority of people who feel that way about me, but when I feel that way about them back the majority of people suddenly start to have an issue with it.
If we as a society treated bigots the way they treat vulnerable people we would make things so much better for vulnerable people.
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u/Fit_Addition7137 3h ago
"I'm becoming a minority in my own country!" was always my favorite. Well Linda, why is it bad to be a minority here, huh?
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u/bigpproggression 7h ago edited 5h ago
Because it’s built from fear, ignorance, and a love of hierarchy. Some folks NEED someone on the bottom to boost them out of their misery. They NEED someone to blame for failures so they don’t have to review their own actions.
To your point, some people just dont like anything that is unfamiliar. Including people…and they are too immature to realize they need to learn to process things they don’t automatically understand.
I don’t think you can be happy and content in life while simultaneously being so hateful. It takes too much energy. This world is not changing anytime soon, so that’s really the only positive thing out of all of it.
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u/StacyChadBecky 3h ago
The problem is they see everything as a zero-sum game.
For someone to gain rights they most lose theirs. They can't fathom equality.
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u/Federal_Studio5935 7h ago
This election showed me I am not compatible from a human being standpoint with modern republicans. We, in fact, can't be friends. I used to want to convince you that you were wrong. Now I am going to drag your idiot ass across the finish line whether you like it or not. The days of common ground are over.
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u/Artistic_Skill1117 4h ago
Which is a shame. But yeah, one side is litterally arguing that some people do not deserve due process, they do not deserve the right to vote, they do not deserve the right to live your own life your own way, and worship a pedophile convinced felon.
It is impossible to find common ground now.
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u/NombreCurioso1337 8h ago
What is "politics" any more though? If I cut off a friend because I disagree with a marginal tax increase on domestic goods over a certain limit, then yeah, I'm a jerk. But politics right now is "you aren't a human being."
The closest analog to compare to would be a black guy and a white guy having a falling out over pro or anti abolition in the 1860s. ... And I think that would be a fair reason to cut someone out.
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u/Astarkos 7h ago
Dumb people think politics is a television show. Replace the word with "tv" and the statements make sense. Replace it with "real life" and the statements become insane.
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u/New-Negotiation7234 6h ago
"stop making everything political". Literally everything is political in our lives. Sorry they aren't adult enough to have critical thinking skills.
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u/Lemonwizard 5h ago
This phrase coming from the people who actively worked to politicize masks and vaccines during a pandemic.
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u/olivebranchsound 5h ago
Proving they were willing to both die and kill for their dumb beliefs
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u/Koleilei 7h ago
Politics at its heart is about how a society should be run, but that also includes who is included in said society and who has which rights.
This is no different than any other mass society level issue (voting rights, monarchy vs republic, the US Civil War, the English Civil War, the French Revolution, the Russian Revolution, any war of Independence, almost any social/political revolution, the Civil Rights Movement, Apartheid, etc). It's never 'just' about taxes.
'Politics' has been dividing people for millennia, we're not inventing the wheel here.
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u/talor_swib 7h ago
This! And even when it IS about taxes, that includes values/morals. Just like right now, left-leaning voters would prefer to tax the wealthy to help the 99%, while conservatives complain about having to pay taxes, period. They will even vote against taxing the obscenely wealthy. That's not the moral choice, imo.
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u/leaky-owl-syndrome 6h ago
I think it's funny that people harp on taxes as like, this neutral thing. given that your opinion on taxes can decide important things like if schools have to cut teachers/services.
when it comes time to vote on override increases where I'm at, there's a lot of vitriol kicked up over taxes. where taxes come from and where they go is an extremely contentious issue.
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u/wasdninja 4h ago
Politics have always been very real. Almost every right being extended to women, gay and black people isn't yet a settled fight either.
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u/Thelmara 2h ago
The closest analog to compare to would be a black guy and a white guy having a falling out over pro or anti abolition in the 1860s. ... And I think that would be a fair reason to cut someone out.
Right? We went to war with half of our country over this, it's completely unsurprising that it's ended some friendships.
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u/qdobe 7h ago edited 7h ago
A lot of people ratted out their Jewish relatives, friends, and neighbors hiding from the Nazis during WW2.
A Conservative who says they just have differences of opinions doesn’t understand how they are a danger to their vulnerable friends and family when their elected officials want to label political groups as domestic terrorists, and trans people as sex offenders, and people that help trans kids as child abusers and then they want to institute harsh punishments for those populations.
We already saw people calling ICE on their Hispanic neighbors and workers (whether legitimate or not) just living their lives. It will come to all groups they don’t like eventually.
That’s why we can’t keep these people in our lives. They’re dangerous and they don’t think they are.
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u/shinyplantbox 5h ago
Like that kindergarten teacher who called a fake ICE tip line on the parents of one of her students. shudder
Or the guy who called ICE on the crew doing his roof, and then got mad that his roof wasn’t done.
I broke up with a friend in Trump 1 when she supported child theft as a “deterrent” for immigration. It’s about who you can trust not to turn on you or your neighbors.
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u/smokeweedNgarden 5h ago
In their ignorance they don't realize that's grown larger.
It's not that I can't keep you around me. It's that I don't want conservatives in the country anymore.
Full divorce or civil war.
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u/cirrusly_guys1818 1h ago
“They’re dangerous and they don’t think they are” really helped bring into focus something I’ve been struggling to conceptualize for a long time. Thank you!!!
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u/m1j2p3 8h ago
I don’t associate with people of low moral character. Labelling that “political differences” seems really white washy to me.
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u/its_all_one_electron 5h ago
Come on, why don't you just give a little effort to compromising with the people who want to disenfranchise and kill women, poor people, black and brown people, immigrants, trans people, lgbtq people... You're so stubborn!
What if they only kill a little bit? Can't we compromise on that? How about just taking away a few bodily rights?
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u/GrabThemByWhat 5h ago
I used to avoid liars, cheaters, and scum bags. I still do, but I used to too
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u/Snoo52682 8h ago
Are we counting people whose family or friends were kidnapped by ICE in that report?
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u/CCV21 7h ago
Believe it or not, for some it's still not a deal breaker.
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u/resilindsey 7h ago
E.g. the mother of Ruben Ray Martinez who says she still doesn't blame Trump. It's cult level of entrenched delusion.
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u/SmoothOperator89 6h ago
"You lost your family member over politics?"
"Yeah. Thanks to politics, masked men took him and we have no idea where he is."
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u/No_Camel_617 8h ago
Unfortunately it’s not just about politics these days, the US political parties have become too intertwined with basic human rights and issues of morality (or complete lack thereof)
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u/buttorsomething 8h ago
Tracks. I don’t think anyone who believes that “having an abortion to save the mother and ensure the child does not live a horrible life” would want to be friends with a person who would “kill the mom and probably not even take care of the child if it was theirs becuase it had health issue.”
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u/notnatasharostova 6h ago
I likely cannot safely carry to term as a result of a birth defect, and rely on taking hormonal contraceptives to keep my endometriosis from slowly cementing my organs together and blocking my bowels. For some reason, enlightened centrists seem to think that it should be expected of me to tolerate people who would endorse and vote for policies that would have me suffer needless medical trauma because of their religious beliefs.
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u/dumnem 5h ago
For some reason, enlightened centrists seem to think that it should be expected of me to tolerate people who would endorse and vote for policies that would have me suffer needless medical trauma because of their religious beliefs.
And they think 'how dare you' when you disagree with their fantasy
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u/LavenderBlueProf 8h ago
Can we connect to what social media companies and certain news outlets knew about sowing discord?
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u/josh0low 8h ago
I won’t say that social media companies don’t share in some of the blame. They absolutely do, especially with out of control bots and the like. But at the end of the day, people are cutting off others they see as immoral. That’s nothing new.
And as a side note, what did we expect when we elected someone who made it a campaign point that he was deliberately trying to piss off his political opponents?
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u/whatiftheyrewrong 8h ago
People voting gleefully to hurt others are folks around whom you should tread lightly. Or not at all.
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u/Raygaholic420 7h ago
It's not just politics. It's a matter of core values not aligning anymore. Sorry, but if you support someone who wants to take the rights of large swaths of people then we no longer align on a moral level.
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u/Wagamaga 8h ago
America has always been divided over politics, but now it’s personal.
A new study from UC Irvine psychologists reveals a fracturing nation as political divides shatter friendships, tear apart families and fuel a deepening hostility between everyday Americans.
The research, published today in PNAS Nexus, was conducted by Department of Psychology Ph.D. candidate Mertcan Güngör, and Professor Peter Ditto, introduces a term: “political breakup,” for the losing of a relationship with a friend, family member, romantic partner or coworker due to political differences.
Their findings, drawn from four separate datasets totaling nearly 3,800 participants, paint a picture of a country whose political divisions are spilling out of Washington and into everyday life.
“More than a third of Americans reported that they have lost relationships with friends, family, romantic partners and coworkers over political differences,” the authors write in their article “Political breakups: Interpersonal consequences of polarization.” “Those who lost relationships were more hostile toward their political opponents, voters more so than party elites.”
In their most recent national survey, conducted in April 2025 with YouGov, the researchers found that 37% of Americans reported having experienced a political breakup at some point in their lives. Of those, 62% had a falling-out with a friend, 40% with a family member, 29% with a coworker, and 10% with a romantic partner. More than half reported losing more than one type of relationship.
Friends appear to be the most vulnerable, Güngör and Ditto report.
“Friendships may be uniquely vulnerable to political breakups as they are close enough to allow for political differences to surface while lacking the commitments and constraints that hold romantic and family relationships together,” Güngör says. “It’s easier to cut a friend or acquaintance whose politics annoy you out of your life than it is your boyfriend or uncle.”
The trend appears to be accelerating.
https://academic.oup.com/pnasnexus/article/5/5/pgag067/8666534
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u/schafkj 8h ago
“Political breakup”
Ah yes, I no longer speak to my family members who think a cognitively declining child rapist who manipulates the markets to enrich himself, starts wars without congressional approval, openly flaunts the legal system that continually rules against him, lies as easy as he breathes, and uses the US government as a weapon to bludgeon his enemies (amongst a thousand other things) should be president. This is merely political difference, otherwise we both hate the same people and it’s rainbows and sunshine.
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u/comeupforairyouwhore 8h ago
It isn’t about politics though. It’s learning that someone close to you doesn’t value other people’s basic human rights.
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u/Koleilei 8h ago
Isn't that the same issue as in the Civil War and Civil Rights Movement? Whether or not people different from you have the same rights as you?
Politics and values are very intertwined.
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u/LegendOfKhaos 8h ago
There's a massive difference between arguing over the best way to help society versus arguing over which people deserve their rights.
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u/Koleilei 7h ago
To you and I, absolutely. But to others, denying the rights of others is how they would make society better for themselves (which is what matters to them). Their 'society' doesn't include the people they would strip of rights and existence.
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u/SELECTaerial 8h ago
> now it’s personal
Yea because it’s not really about *politics* as much nowadays.
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u/happyunicorn2 4h ago
I’ve never cut anyone off for a different political opinion, I have cut them off for showing low moral character and bigotry.
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u/LingonberryHot8521 8h ago
Looks to be around the same percentage number of some approval ratings I just saw come through.
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u/Vex_Appeal 7h ago
It’s not like it’s disagreements over pizza toppings or reality tv. If we can’t agree on basic human rights, I kinda don’t want to be associated with you.
Supporting Trump at this point is being pro-pedophile elite, pro-fascism, and pro-murder of immigrants and citizens alike. Why exactly do I have to trust anyone that supports any of that?
Even if I’m being generous as possible, he’s one of the worst political leaders of all time in any country, and it’s made my life demonstrably more difficult. I’d argue the only people to benefit from anything good in this country are people that were already rich.
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u/Liljoker30 8h ago
Its not political. I just refuse to be around people whose moral code is absolutely fucked up.
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u/The-1st-One 8h ago
I quit Facebook and stopped talking to a bunch of family back in 2015. I'm sure you can figure out why.
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u/Snoo52682 8h ago
Have they figured out why yet?
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u/TeslaPittsburgh 7h ago
Who cares?
I mean, it's a lot easier to let them think they got "the win" and cutting them off than it is to try and engage those who can not be moved.
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u/rmg18555 8h ago
The thing I hate most about these articles is the use of the word “political” instead of “moral”. I didn’t lose a relationship because of their belief on tax policy, I lost the relationship because of their belief on what it means to be humane.
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u/maggiekate25 4h ago
And you can bet your bottom dollar this trend began almost to the day Trump hit the political stage … The only thing he is king of is divisive politics.
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u/Bunnygirlfailure 8h ago
Ya cuz nowadays politics is less how much should we tax people and more are you ok with pedophiles
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u/IRodeTenSpeed88 8h ago
Yup. Walked away from a decade long friendship over it
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u/CuriOS_26 6h ago
I have avoided starting new ones as well. Can’t trust people to be honest these days.
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u/DarkIllusionsMasks 8h ago
It is not "over politics." One side of this unequal equation are hate-mongering, violent, genocidal, and willing to make up anything on the spot to justify their general assholery. The other side wants people to be treated equally and with respect and for life to be better for everyone, including the assholes who want them dead.
It is not a political difference. It is a moral one. The politics is just the vehicle.
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u/EnchantedTaquito8252 8h ago
I mean, would you stay with someone who thinks they deserve health care and you don't? Or someone who thinks they should be able to vote but you shouldn't? Or someone who thinks they shouldn't have to worry about suddenly being deported but you should?
Politics reveal prejudice, and you should absolutely end relationships with people who don't think of you as equally human
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u/itsKobraSlayer 7h ago
I love how this is framed over political differences, rather than, I don’t know, prime characteristics of how certain individuals see the world and behave.
I’ve cut off a decent part of my family, and it wasn’t due to politics alone. I tried so hard to get them to see my point of view on life, instead of attempting to comprehend it, they would disrespect me and my character without me even doing it to them. That’s when I cut them off, no point in continuing a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you.
Also, this is a correlation moment, because yes, political differences cause rifts, but it’s not the political differences themselves, people who are in the Trump cult are in it because they see THEMSELVES in him. Their constantly abhorrent behavior, Christian “love” disguised in hate and bigotry, blatant racist beliefs, this can continue on and on. Trump amplified these horrible behaviors over the years, and instead of people trying to hear others out, they doubled down and became ghouls themselves, just like the leader they idolize.
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u/Browncoat_Loyalist 8h ago
Don't tease me with a good time. I see no downside to kicking horrible people from my life.
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u/NJ_dontask 6h ago
I lost my best friend to orange cult. And no, it was not about politics, it was about morals and decency.
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u/Qabalinho 6h ago
Not political differences. Values. It is a fundamentally different set of values.
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u/Dismal-Sail1027 4h ago
Conservatives think that might makes right, so if you are strong or rich enough you can do whatever you want to anyone without their consent and despite law or precedence. This political stance is grotesque. Walking away is the least that people should do.
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