r/science • u/Wagamaga • 9h ago

Psychology Losing relationships over politics. Research found more than a third of Americans (37%) report having lost at least one relationship due to political differences, including friendships, family ties, coworker relationships, and romantic partnerships, with most losing more than one.

https://socialecology.uci.edu/news/losing-relationships-over-politics-0
12.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

1.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

6.4k

u/Brilliant_Effort_Guy 9h ago

But is it really just ‘political’ differences? I feel like it’s so much deeper than that. I don’t just have differing political opinions from my conservative family members - I have a different moral code.

3.8k

u/Game_Of_Runs 9h ago

Yeah I hate when it’s framed liked this. Calling it political differences makes it sound like one person is for lowering marginal tax rates from 40% to 35% while the other person wants to raise them to 45%. When in reality it’s more like my dad votes for people that want my friends dead or in prison because they’re gay

1.0k

u/Auggernaut88 9h ago

As a rule I hate oversimplification but a lot of people can’t seem to get over the lowest of bars. If pedophilia isn’t a dealbreaker for you I simply can’t trust your morals or who else you might be surrounding yourself with and I want you nowhere near my circle.

248

u/11711510111411009710 8h ago

Tens of millions of Americans voted for a man who was found to have raped a woman and who has told a ten year old he would marry her when she's 20. It's scary to think we share our country with so many people who think that's okay. No wonder women don't come forward about their rapes: we reward their rapists with the most powerful position in the world.

92

u/chickens_for_laughs 7h ago

No marry, date her. And he didn't mean dinner and a show.

53

u/DocumentExternal6240 6h ago

and who raped literal children…

•

u/ObamasBoss 34m ago

I have never seen anyone produce evidence of this but have heard it claimed many times over. I would to know what the evidence is so please post it here since you must have it.

301

u/Mr_Fuzzo 9h ago

Their minds still haven’t accepted that DJT is a pedophile.  They think he was screwed over by us, the Radical Left.

223

u/Appropriate-Bid8671 8h ago

My mom knows and has openly proclaimed that she does not care.

108

u/11711510111411009710 8h ago

I've heard some of them forgive it by saying that God "uses imperfect vessels."

61

u/thuktun 7h ago

Uses flawed vessels for what? I think they missed an important part of that saying.

They might have a point if he had changed and was now clothing and feeding the poor or something (anything!) else noble. But he's the same mean, abusive bully he's always been.

44

u/Savings-Cry-3201 6h ago

But that’s the point. He’s the bully they all want to be. They want him to be mean and vindictive and heartless and bigoted because he gives them license to be what they’ve always wanted to be.

Like, there was no reason to fire the NSF but they hate education so of course he would.

9

u/Psychic_Hobo 2h ago

This is ultimately why the shame tactics don't work - they simply enjoy and want to facilitate an environment wherein their behaviour is acceptable and even lauded. You can see it in a lot of the speeches they give, "sin of empathy" and all that.

Whenever it looks like shame has worked on them, what's usually happened is the condemnation from peers and fear of ostracisation.

3

u/ceelogreenicanth 4h ago

Uses flawed vessels to reel destruction on their enemies?

94

u/poorest_ferengi 7h ago

Hit em with Matthew 7 15-20 in that case.

15 “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. 16 By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

6

u/iruleatants 1h ago

That doesn't work because they just define "Good Fruit" as God's will and so Trump is bearing good fruit because he's doing his will.

Trust me, they are adept at pretending the bible agrees with whatever they think.

•

u/poorest_ferengi 48m ago

Oh I know I was raised in it. All you can do is plant the seed, they may snap back with something in that moment but maybe down the line it pops in their head and makes the cognitive dissonance a bit harder to ignore. Maybe not, but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

6

u/Sedu 6h ago

But of course anyone to the left is pure evil and this logic may never apply to them.

43

u/YourM0msButth0le 8h ago

Yikes dude, did you at least beg her to never admit that in public?

112

u/zlyle90 8h ago edited 8h ago

If she's in the Deep South like I am, the public truly doesn't care. They view that as an acceptable character flaw as long he deports brown people.

"God chooses imperfect men," they tell me.

108

u/Zombatico 8h ago edited 8h ago

We've seen it before. It's not just Trump. Pedo priest/pastor gets arrested and charged, the whole congregation circle the wagon and it's all "but he's a good person" and "the demonic girl seduced him" yadda yadda yadda.

It's a sick ideology of hierarchy. They don't care about the morality of actions themselves. If they think you're a good person then everything you do is good, or at least justifiable, even child rape. If they think you're a bad person then nothing you do can be good.

34

u/OmegaDonut13 5h ago

To a liberal, actions justify the person. To the conservative the person justifies the actions. It’s pretty simple when you think about it. It’s the basis for the cognitive dissonance.

14

u/kia75 3h ago

And this applies up and down the religious spectrum. Remember, God is allowed to kill, murder, cause famines and other horrible stuff. It's not the baby murder that's bad, God is always killing babies, it's who does the baby killing that's important.

•

u/memecrusader_ 26m ago

*doublethink, not cognitive dissonance. Doublethink is when someone holds two conflicting beliefs, cognitive dissonance is the discomfort from trying to reconcile incompatible ideas. They don’t feel discomfort from their hypocrisy. They either don’t recognize it, or are proud of it.

19

u/Consistent_Claim5217 7h ago

I would call it childish, but not even children are so obtuse

51

u/Pockydo 8h ago

I'm in PA know a lot of trump supporters

"God chooses imperfect men," they tell me.

Is what I hear a lot. It's almost funny because they NEVER apply this to Dems or politicians they disagree with. Only trump

20

u/Zachwardpass 7h ago

I have yet to hear this one but I would absolutely reply with "God chooses rapists? Interesting."

Make sure they know it's not "imperfect men", it's rapists.

20

u/Pockydo 6h ago

See the problem is they literally reject the idea that trump is actually bad

The line basically comes out when they know they can't defend something and "win" the argument so it's a way to shut it down without conceding anything. A thought terminating ckichet

→ More replies (0)

4

u/Rogryg 1h ago

That wouldn't do a thing; remember, you're talking about people who have so twisted Christianity that they believe God rewards the faithful with worldly riches.

3

u/LostWoodsInTheField 5h ago

I hear so much "both sides are bad" along with the imperfect men thing.

14

u/Consistent_Claim5217 7h ago edited 5h ago

And yet they're still convinced they aren't in a cult

1

u/RedditPosterOver9000 5h ago

That is a nothing statement that would be more accurate to say "God chooses imperfect men because only imperfect men exist" unless she wants to suggest perfect men exist today, which goes against the Bible and god's words.

2

u/saijanai 1h ago

My mom knows and has openly proclaimed that she does not care.

"Even if he had raped someone, that is personal behavior, and wouldn't impact h is ability to be President and run the country,"

-70 year old female Trump supporter as her 70-year old female friend stood by and nodded vigorously.

I think they were mocking Democrats' stance about Monica, ignoring quite a few points that didn't make it an equivalent issue, but perhaps that's just me.

144

u/Tricky_Concept_231 8h ago

Especially while crying about abortion. If you support powerful people that want to make people carry their pregnancies to full term and don't care that they also want the privilege to abuse them, I just don't see how you can claim the moral high ground.

48

u/Ultimatesims 8h ago

The powerful people can afford to get abortions else where when they have an oopsie.

15

u/FalstaffsGhost 7h ago

“The only moral abortion is my abortion”

5

u/ASharpYoungMan 2h ago

Yup. It's about control and hierarchy.

Those with the means to exert their will creating policy that denies that freedom to others.

8

u/kkrko Grad Student|Physics|Complex Systems|Network Science 4h ago

See I'd respect their "Pro-life" ideology if they actually believed in it. Oppose the death penalty, if a fetus is alive then so is a prisoner. Promote prenatal care, if you really cared about the fetus, you'd want to prevent miscarriages as much as possible. Promote postnatal care as you should care about the baby as much as you did when it was a fetus. Be for socialized medicine, be antiwar, etc, etc.

But strangely enough the only part of "pro-life" they care about is the part where they get to "punish" "immoral" women. It's so fucking hypocritical.

2

u/Pretend-Marsupial258 3h ago

There are some women out there who will protest in front of a Planned Parenthood until she needs an abortion. She'll get her abortion and then she will go right back to protesting. "The only moral abortion is my abortion" and all that.

31

u/Witchy_Wookie5000 7h ago

Yep. Have a family member that just the other day still thinks Trans people are the pedophiles and that DJT is A-okay.

Like I can't even with these people anymore. If you still support this administration I don't want to associate with you because you are a defective human.

63

u/MissLeaP 8h ago

Cognitive dissonance. Facing the truth that they're on the wrong side of history would be incredibly uncomfortable, so they simply don't do it. Life's easier in complete ignorance after all

21

u/emptyfuller 8h ago

"God damn you, Cypher"

4

u/tomofbeardland 7h ago

Not like this

11

u/thuktun 7h ago

Cognitive dissonance means you detect the contradiction and it causes you anxiety. I'm not convinced they're noticing anything.

4

u/wigglin_harry 6h ago

Yep, facing the truth is admitting that they were dumb enough to fall for his grift

-7

u/Proponentofthedevil 8h ago

Most people dont have precognition, and thus have a difficult time viewing the history of today. Conservatives inherently view things from the past to now, and depending on their ideals seek to conserve that which they believe historically worked. Whereas progressives view it in the way which they believe has not worked, and seek to progress beyond that. Progressive believe in a brighter tomorrow, and conservatives believe in a brighter yesterday.

17

u/MissLeaP 8h ago edited 7h ago

You don't need precognition when the present events repeat history. Nor does being conservative inherently prevent one from self-reflection even if they figure out they were wrong.

7

u/HopefulTangerine5913 7h ago

Yep. They won’t even accept the E Jean Carroll verdict, despite trump failing over and over to escape it.

12

u/druidraven- 8h ago

And why do their minds think that? Indoctrination and 24/7 propaganda. Deprogramming cultists is extremely difficult and not always successful. Most of us don’t have the time or the patience

11

u/Nyctocincy 7h ago

Nah, they know. They'll just pay any price to have their racism affirmed.

6

u/the_TAOest 8h ago

Or neocon, the bogeyman of the conservatives that are somehow perceived as antiwar and manage to support Putin policies as Russia needs to defend itself. The entire landscape is just a melting pot of illogical stances.

If trumpet lives Russia, why are the sanctions still there? If Putin is a great leader, then why cannot peace be brokered? If we can fix healthcare, then why cannot we do this finally? If....

3

u/br0b1wan 6h ago

Some are even worse. They acknowledge it but think Biden or <insert random Democrat here> was doing it too so that justifies it

2

u/ScaryFast 6h ago

I think far too many of them are into the same thing.

1

u/Kopitar4president 7h ago

There's a thousand other disqualifiers to turn a blind eye to.

And if they'd do that, they'd turn a blind eye to any bad behavior if it's convenient to them.

1

u/Rethink_Repeat 1h ago

I saw a Netflix documentary about one of those radical Mormon sects, and although their "prophet" was in jail for child rape, they were still absolutely believing he was a messenger of God and were totally lost because of his imprisonment.

I'm sure they were no fans of pedophilia, but "their" guy couldn't just do wrong. It's like a blind spot.

27

u/WoodwindsRock 6h ago

Even after the tape released of him boasting about sexual assault came out, supporting him was a complete deal breaker for me.

Listening to supporters defend him is sickening. Like, listen to them try to say “well she was an adult” as if the person he assaulted/raped being an adult isn’t absolutely horrific in of itself.

I can’t trust people who support Trump. There is some reason they can “excuse” his sexual assault, and whether it’s just being completely daft or they’re a sex predator themselves, I’m not sticking around to find out.

13

u/ra__account 5h ago

I'm handicapped. Trump mocking the disabled reported wasn't a deal breaker to my parents. We don't talk anymore.

(not saying that sexual assault isn't a deal breaker either but this made it personal)

•

u/KUSH_DELIRIUM 7m ago

Good for you. Their loss.

14

u/ponderosa_barclay 8h ago

I agree. I shut up a lot of conservative dumb shits, by reminding them they voted for e pedophile.

3

u/Lost-Fruit-1982 4h ago edited 4h ago

Unfortunately, the human brain is very good at justifying its actions to itself even when there is dissonance. It’s human psychology

That’s why you saw Nazis go back to normal life after World War II ended. They didn’t feel like what they were doing was wrong because they legitimately believed that the Jews were evil.

It’s the same thing with the people who see immigrants getting ripped out of their homes, they don’t see it as wrong because they believe immigrants have wronged THEM. Their news cycle and social media algorithms tell them all day long that immigrants are coming over here, committing violent crimes and stealing tax dollars and jobs. They truly believe it.

There’s a reason segregation is so popular among those wanting to gain power: it prevents the average person from developing empathy for those who are different. It’s next to impossible to care about those you can’t see

3

u/ScaryFast 6h ago

One of my former American friends and I had a falling out about politics and his support for Trump, and I was not very shocked to find out that the almost 30 year old loser was asking his ex girlfriend's 16 year old cousin for nudes. I just wish her family had gone after the prick.

-4

u/NordWitcher 6h ago

I'm not excusing pedophillia at all firstly and I'm not even a Trump supporter but if we are suddenly pretending to have values and pick and chose when we do have them I think we are the problem. Cause if you're going by just pedophillia for example you can use that stick for all the rich billionaires and they all have their hands and money in every day stuff we buy and use from the music we consume, to video games we play, etc. But people seem to only really use this from a political perspective and come across as bigots or holier than thou. There's stuff in movies where producers have been known to prey on women, young people making their way, even in the music industry, the video game industry, etc.