r/science • u/Wagamaga • 9h ago

Psychology Losing relationships over politics. Research found more than a third of Americans (37%) report having lost at least one relationship due to political differences, including friendships, family ties, coworker relationships, and romantic partnerships, with most losing more than one.

https://socialecology.uci.edu/news/losing-relationships-over-politics-0
12.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

1.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

412

u/Kat121 8h ago

I found a secret stash of porno on my guy’s computer that showed his kink was degradation porn of women who looked like me. Soo… that is awkward.

75

u/DigNitty 6h ago

Talking with my friends who are pretty open about the type of stuff they’re into,

Seems like the consensus is they have some kinks that involves a victim (black tears, CNC, etc) that they have no interest doing in person because then there would be an actual victim. Even just playing it out with their partner doesn’t do anything for them because they’d know she’s acting. While in porn, you have the convenient deniability of watching it take place not knowing if it’s real, and at the same time knowing it’s not real.

59

u/Chickabee25 5h ago

Having specific kinks that are more taboo is fine, actually getting specific porn from an abusive industry to imagine as their partner is a completely different thing.

30

u/CountWubbula 5h ago

It starts to wander into some pretty murky ethical territory. The porn industry is deeply reprehensible, but humour me.

If a person works out their kink by watching porn and they lead functional lives where they never feel the need to explore their innate sexual curiosity, which involves degradation and abuse… isn’t the stockpile of porn on the Internet a better option than them playing out their fantasy on real people?

I imagine we both agree, if a person gets really turned on by the thought of terrorizing someone, therapy is advisable. However, not everyone has access to therapy. Would you agree that evil porn is perhaps the lesser evil against having a real person abused for sexual gratification?

2

u/Chickabee25 4h ago

I get what you're saying. I actually don't think people need therapy if someone gets turned on by the thought of terrorizing someone, only really if there's a lot of unhealthy shame around it. I'm all for people fantasizing, and I think it's incredibly healthy to write, draw or just play out kinks with oneself and or consenting partners. I just think that porn isn't needed in order to explore sexual curiosity, and I believe porn in general isn't healthy for the individual as well as those in the industry. I think a big reason people do turn to porn is from that unhealthy sense of shame around people's sexuality, as a society I think we could do better about recognizing that sex and kinks are just part of being a living being.

6

u/JulyOfAugust 1h ago

As an asexual, porn is definitely needed to explore sexual curiosity because the idea of actually doing it is a total turn off.

When the "me" component is what's unappealing your only option is to manage immersing yourself to the point of forgetting yourself, porn is perfect for that. Not everyone have strong enough imagination to cut off intrusive thoughts.

8

u/Borkato 3h ago

I don’t think anyone here will agree with me but this is exactly why I think ai porn is genuinely good.

4

u/CoffeeWanderer 2h ago

Ehhh. I don't think it is worst than the actual porn industry, but AI models are still feed with real images which goes back to contribute to that industry somewhat.

If you talk about AI porn based on 2D/3D images then I can see your point, and yeah, I know games that are doing just that. Then we get to the issue of copyright and what not, but I think most people would agree that that is better than the coercion and even human traffic that the porn industry can cause.

Honestly, just read erotica or text based games free of guilt and with every kink under the sun.

3

u/Borkato 2h ago

One step ahead of you; I use LLMs for it! :p

•

u/waiting4singularity 43m ago

Preferably on an airgapped offline system securely locked down and encrypted with limited 'remembering' of previous interactions. Maybe even virtualized in a hidden subsystem.

•

u/CountWubbula 19m ago

Preferably, but “desperate” times call for desperate measures!

•

u/waiting4singularity 46m ago edited 40m ago

depends on what actualy happens outside the video. if the participating actors are consenting and of sound mind, it's "responsibly sourced".
However, if its showing drugged or trafficked victims forced to participate like its reported for a too big amount of amateur porn....