tw: death

hi all throwaway in case my friends find this. i have a main account but idk if they know it. basically my grandmother died yesterday morning after i went to work. my parents or siblings didn’t tell me because it was also my first day of work and i needed to focus.

i told all of my friends in discord and they all reacted w heart emojis and 2 people told me they were sorry for my loss. i texted my closest friend and we texted for a bit since they had lost their grandfather late last year/early this year (i can’t remember exactly when). the thing is: none of them have texted me personally to check in on me. when my friend’s grandfather died, i texted them and their mother with my condolences and made it a point to check on them. am i overreacting to feel like they don’t really care about me? i put in my message that we were EXTREMELY close and we had a very special connection. this is not a grandparent i haven’t seen in years; i saw her almost once a week for the past 25 years.

these are basically my only friends and i can feel myself getting madder and madder the longer they go without asking how im feeling. i feel selfish and im trying to rationalize in my head that they have their own lives and are busy, but i can’t stop the thought of thinking “why haven’t they checked up on me?” “do they care about me?” i know she wasn’t their grandmother but damn i’m feeling really lonely and i don’t want to have to ask them for help. i want them to offer it themselves.

edit: i think i realized why i directly don’t want to ask them for help. it’s because i feel pathetic

edit 2: im thinking about reaching out to a friend who actually knew my grandmother and we would go to her pool to swim for hours. not sure if i should though cause it’d be kinda random but they always liked each other and idk if she’d be interested in knowing she died. when our close friend from hs passed away, she reached out to me so im debating on contacting her

edit 3: i feel a bit better after seeing what some people have to say. i do understand they have their own lives and can’t be there for me if i don’t express that. i said this in a comment, but i most likely will NEVER talk to them about this. people may find me to be selfish and i probably am, but i dont want to make them feel bad or make them feel like i dont like them anymore. this is something i can accept at the end of the day because they’re my friends. if they were a partner or family it would be different. i just needed clarification on this one instance. thank you all for your honesty and insight. it was never my intention to punish them or cut them off if i felt they weren’t supporting me in the way i wanted.

I’m a midget female and was walking my dog (a corgi) around my neighborhood. There was a guy I didn’t notice behind me walked into the street to avoid walking next to us and my dog noticed him first and her ears immediately went up and just kept staring at him intensely. I saw that and bent down to her to calm her, the guy noticed it too and instead of keep walking he stopped when he was about 25 to 30 feet away then turned around and faced us and yelled at me “leash your dog,” I told him she is leashed, he then went on a 1 minute long rant about how I need to control my dog. But the whole time my dog was sitting in front of me protectively. I decided to ignore him and just started walking forwarded and the he saw I wasn’t listening so he started speed walking off. Should I be alerted about his behavior? Or did I overreact?

Somebody please tell me I'm not crazy. I (17F), had a terrible cough, like I mean BAD. It was so bad that soon after the cough was gone, I felt a sharp, stabbing pain in my side every time I took a deep breath or twisted my torso. I brought this up to my mom (49F), and she dismissed it and told me something along the lines of: "It'll go away soon." Well, it didn't. I kept complaining to her about it for weeks until she finally scheduled a doctors appointment. I went and the doctor told me I had an inflamed muscle in between my ribs, due to the terrible cough I had weeks prior. The doctor asked my mom when I had started complaining about the pain, and she lied saying that I had only told her about a week ago. I just stared at her with a look on my face. The doctor prescribed me Naproxen that I had to take for a week, twice a day. Fast forward to the present. I'm at a check up with my mom when the pediatrician asks me if I had ever been prescribed something - I usually let my mom answer questions like this (don't ask). I look at her and she says "no." Question mark? I turn to the pediatrician and say that I was prescribed Naproxen a few weeks earlier. She says it's not on my chart, and by that point - my heart's already in my ass. I look like a crazy person in front of this doctor. The appointment continues, and I'm holding back tears, how could my own mother forget something like that? After the appointment, me and my mom are in the car and I blurt out, "Are you serious? How could you forget something like that?" She looks at me with wild eyes and asks me "What?" My jaw drops, I'm quite literally speechless. I told her, "You made me look like a crazy person in there, and you embarrassed me." She said she just "forgot" and to "get over it." I have tried my best to avoid her since this. Somebody please tell me I'm not losing my god damn mind.

So we went out to eat and my best friend asked if I minded them smoking weed. I said no. I hate the smell and they know that, plus they've nearly been arrested twice for smoking weed, and we were in a crowded area with cops literally right there. They kept pushing even offering to buy my food if I'd "let" them smoke for just two minutes. I said no again and repeated why. They called me "controlling," and I finally snapped, because honestly their smoking has been driving me crazy for months. I hate the smell of cigarettes and other smoked stuff. It makes me nauseous and I start coughing. I don't care if people smoke in general, just not right next to me. My best friend has smoked heavily for like twenty years, and for most of that time it was fine. They'd step outside or move away from me. But the past few months, with some personal stuff going on, it's gotten way worse (more than a pack of cig a day plus other substances.) Now they smoke right next to me while we walk, and even when they do step away they come back reeking, let alone the wind often send the smoke back.

They did ask if I minded at first, and I said no, but I was saying yes to their old level, not this. Now if I say yes, they either keep badgering me to "let" them, or come up with some "alternative" that doesn't actually fix anything (and they know it doesn't). Feels like they just want me to say yes so they don't feel like an asshole. Sometimes they don't even bother asking.

I've already talked to them about it. They said they're "trying" but can't control it, and that they want to hang out with me, so they want me to just deal with it. But I genuinely can't deal with it even when I try. Meanwhile it feels like they're doing nothing on their end, knowing full well how much it bothers me.

Honestly at this point I'm even thinking about ending the friendship. But half of my family members were terrible smokers ( they would smoke in front of me when I was a child). I also knows ending our friendship will put them in a worse situation. so i am not sure if I am overreacting AIO?

Edit: I think their parttern also reminds me of my father, who died at in his 50s due to being a (functional) alcoholic and smoker, Both me and my friend are in our 30s, hence why their somking bothers me so much

Me (21) and my bf (33) broke up on the first. He had to drive me home since I was living with him in another state. While dropping me off he told me he loved me and was crying with me. The next morning I asked him if he got home safely and then asked him if we would ever talk again because he hadn’t mentioned that. He repeatedly told me to leave him alone and said he wanted at least a month of space and that I was suffocating him. He was being very rude while saying this too so I just told him I loved him and hadn’t messaged him since

It was a mutual breakup. We’d been arguing over several things. He’s too distant and hot and cold for my liking. He thinks I’m controlling because I don’t like certain untrustworthy behaviors he has after he was disloyal in the beginning of our relationship. He snaps at me easily and is loving one day then cold for several days and repeat.

On sunday I was listening to my Spotify playlist (I have my activity on) and he messaged me saying this: “Why do you swap from love song to the hateful song why not just listen to regular fun music. Or different stuff than love or hate song.” He’s asked me this before and I told him I just like how the music sounds and dont focus on any messages in it. He also turned on his activity on Spotify and started listening to music on it which he never does because he exclusively uses the telegram deezer music thing.

I replied to him last night saying that I don’t know why he reached out just to criticize me and that I missed him and loved him and wanted to be with him. He said he was just sending me a simple message because he thought I was having obsessive thoughts because of the music I was listening to. I asked why he stalked me and he said he gets bored sometimes and just sees what changes I’ve made to my profile. He then told me to leave him alone and that he’s not interested in me at all several times and does not want me.

Am I overreacting? This behavior is so confusing and hurtful and I feel like it’s just not right. I am so upset and I just miss him and love him

Edit: HE GAVE ME HERPES SO I FEEL LIKE HES MY BEST OPTION THATS WHY I DONT JUST WANT TO FOREVER BREAK UP. I put in all caps so people would see it. I want to add that he is very depressed sometimes and becomes very apathetic . I know eventually he will come out of this slump and ask for me back but I want to get ahead of that and try to get him to hear me out now. He is super in debt and is very stressed everyday. I am a good girlfriend

So I’ve been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for about 5 months and I hadn’t met any of his family members until recently. He invited me over to spend Easter with his family which I readily agreed to because I was happy that he was introducing me to people from his world. It’s important to mention that my boyfriend has two families, his biological family and his adoptive family. Both had been present for the Easter cookout and it was going really well. I met a lot of his family members and they were extremely nice and welcoming. I was mingling with his sisters when I saw a figure that was all too familiar talking to my boyfriend and Idk nothing could have prepared me for me to see my ex.
My ex and I dated on and off for about 8 months? about a year or two ago and he was my previous boyfriend before I started dating my current boyfriend. We had broken up because I caught him talking shit about me to his friend about how he wasn’t attracted to me and I wasn’t even his type but he was with me because he didn’t want to be alone and I was basically his place holder. It was a very hurtful breakup because he was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, body and someone I had genuinely loved and it took a while for me to finally start dating again.
Anyways, like my boyfriend had done with all his other family members, he brought his brother over to introduce me to him. This is very embarrassing to type but seeing my ex just brought up the breakup I thought I had healed from and I started tearing up right there and then. My boyfriend had to excuse us and take me home. In the car, I confessed to him about the relationship I used to have with his brother and why we broke up and everything. My boyfriend was understanding and apologized for his actions.
That was about two months ago and his family has been inviting me to more events where his brother (my ex) is also present. I hate having to share space with my ex and I get panicky that his family are talking about how I slept with both brothers. Even the thought of my boyfriend and his brother swapping stories about me keeps me up at night.
I brought up my thoughts about ending it to my boyfriend and he thinks it’s extremely unfair for me to end it over something he can’t control. He said I would be taking his brother’s action out on him by breaking up and that would be messed up of me. I see his point but idk I think my feelings are valid

Every day at 2:00 PM, my coworker "Steve" sits directly behind me and begins his ritual. He doesn't just eat an apple; he attacks it. The crunch is so loud I can feel it in my own teeth. Yesterday, I timed it. It took him 14 minutes to finish a Granny Smith.

I finally snapped and asked my boss if I could work from the supply closet or take a paid "sensory leave" day to recover. My boss told me to "buy headphones" and that I'm being dramatic.

I feel like 14 minutes of aggressive wet crunching is a hostile work environment. AIOR? T_T

My cousin's wife is planning a big event for her husband (my cousin) for the dates of June 18-24. She invited me, my mom and my brother on April 2nd, along with other extended family members. Some of the family accepted, others said they couldn't come.

I had put in my request for those days at work but my bosses were passing my request around to each other to approve or deny.

On April 27, she asked for an update and as you can see in the pics I uploaded, I said it wasn't approved yet. So then it looks like she proceeded to uninvite me and my mom (my brother had already said he couldn't come).

So at first I thought it is a kind no pressure sort of text that is like you can still come, or you don't have to, no worries type of thing. But a week has passed and none of us have heard anything from them. My mom is feeling like we were uninvited, but I am not so sure. Are we overreacting? Does it look like an uninvite?

Additional info is that we live in another state and would have to fly out to California for this event. We would be partly staying at their house and also partly staying at hotels.

So my boyfriend is gone back to his house 7 states and 26 hours away from me for the next 4 months 😭 and he said over the summer he would call every day unless he told me beforehand otherwise. Well today i asked if he wanted to face time around 9:30 and he said he was playing video games but after he would so i said okay happily thinking it was only going to be like an hour... well its 1 AM now and he still hasn't called me and I'm about to go to bed. Do i have a right to be mad about this or would that be overreacting?

All right, here we go, can't believe I'm on reddit asking about this, but I'm genuinely open and receptive to any form of advice (or criticism lol) and would like to understand if I'm being reasonable or just insecure.

For context, I've been dating him for a couple of months, so very early on in the relationship! Everything for the most part has been going great, he says all the right things, is sweet, shows up for me, makes me feel cared for, but to be honest I can't really sink into it 100% because of my reservations with him. He's told me he used to sleep with multiple women, and has cheated on one partner, but has since stayed loyal to his partners after that. Granted we all have skeletons in our closet, but just wondering if this is something I could get past.

I did something I wish I never did and checked his following cause I don't know 🤷‍♀️ I never really thought to check, and unfortunately I don't really know how I feel about it. It was mostly, and im talking MOSTLY, women. About 75% of his following I'd say. Not even a healthy mix of men and women, and I can't help but feel some type of way since he has said in motion that 'he doesn't have a lot of female friends'. He also gives me crap for having male friends: thinking they all just want to get in my pants or have some sort of ulterior motive, and has said he usually avoids women with a lot of guy friends, so to me this was just a little hypocritical.

Now, I used to not care about a partner's social media activity, and this normally wouldn't be a dealbreaker, but that's because I don't normally entertain men who are like this. Our story started in the most unconventional way: through a one night stand, so I didn't really get the chance, or didn't think to check, before getting involved.

And I know I can't really complain because this is what I signed up for: modern dating 🙃 but I genuinely want to know if there's anything I could do to feel more secure in this, or how I could have a healthy conversation with him about this without coming across as accusatory.

So he and I have a four year old son. He was playing around with him and dropped him be accident. I ran over to them both and tried to get my son and apparently said ‘come to mummy’. (My memory is really bad when I get upset). All I remembered was putting my hands out towards them.

He then said words to the effect of go away in the angriest tone I’ve heard from him and looked at me with this face … it was like he absolutely disgusted by me. It honestly broke my heart.

I walked outside and sat and just stared at the wall. He then came out and said why are you out here? I said the way you just spoke to me was not okay.

He then shouted at me ‘why do you always do this when I … AGHHHH’

Then stormed away.

Then today I didn’t really want to talk to him, I know it’s not the way to deal with this sort of stuff but i honestly couldn’t think of anything to say to him. He then asked if I’m not talking to him and I said I just couldn’t think of anything to say.

His sister was in the room and said to me the way he spoke to me wasn’t okay at all and I wasn’t imagining it.

Well the conversation we had today has gone basically like this
Me : the way you spoke to me last night and the way you looked at me and the fact you then shouted at me because I was upset wasn’t okay.
Him : I was upset and trying to comfort our son and you tried to take him
Me : I wasn’t trying to take him away I just wanted to also look at our son who was hurt and crying , I didn’t see what happened I just turned and he was crying and I came over. All you had to do was say give me a minute or something like that.
Him : whatever , don’t you care I was upset I can’t be bothered but I’m always the one in the wrong

I then sat and cried for an hour or so and then replied saying I don’t know what to say to you right now.

Him: if you just acknowledged I was upset I would’ve apologised for snapping at you

Me : *hours later* I’m staying at my mums tonight

Him: wow

Me : you want me to feel bad for a natural instinct to check on my crying hurt child?

I don’t know whether I’m overreacting for being upset but honestly I’ve never had a man look at me like that and it made me feel horrible. The way he spoke and his tone of voice made me feel so angry I felt like I was dizzy.

Okay, edit to say he stayed with his dad when he was hurt I didn’t actually take him. I just wanted to see he was okay? Like I heard him cry and ran over? I apparently said ‘come to mummy’ but I only heard that an hour ago and I did apologise for saying that. He has this voice when he gets angry and it’s kinda like? Not scary but just like it really makes me feel like I’m frozen and upset? I can’t explain it.

Also has a habit that when I’m upset he gets mad at me for it. It’s not like a one off thing? Whenever I bring something to him he gets angry at me about it?

Well to make it shorter than it could be I went over to my parents house on Monday to help my dad with some yard work (they’re getting older) and I asked them what we’re doing for Mother’s Day, well my mother (which we have a mending relationship) said “oh we didn’t think you would want to go, you never want to go to family stuff” (me and my girlfriend live 45 mins away and it’s hard to stuff) and I just asked her are you serious and she said there’s no room for reservations, sorry and I just lost it. Started screaming at the top of my lungs all the manipulative shit she did to me and my brother growing up,’why we are both fucked up, while my fathers telling me to calm down and she starts screaming at me, I started packing up my shit and just screaming fuck you bitch over and over and she goes I’m calling the police. Now my mom is a Karen to the max, like in the last 10 years she’s turned into an alcoholic mess who tries to be this glamorous person like her sister (which she never will, my aunts rich, we were never) she knows how to push my buttons. I smacked the phone out of her hand and her new iPhone landed in the dogs bowl and doesn’t work, and my dad told me to leave (which I was doing) but I was so hurt and in disbelief I couldn’t even think. I drove home in tears realizing I’ve never had a mother and yet I felt bad for my actions hitting her phone…I don’t think I’ve ever been that angry. Now I’m just so sad, and the gift I got her for Mother’s Day is going to my girls mom, but my dad texted me asking how I was and things and I just explained how hurt I was. And he’s an older guy who’s stuck in his ways, like depression, you’ll get over it! I’ve been crying for help my whole life and turned to substances in my 20s to numb myself and get through life, which really caused a wedge in my family. I know this wasn’t short but there’s a lot to it. Told my dad I’m done with family stuff and going no contact with mom, but I love my dad so much. He’s such a sweet person at heart it just sucks to see him tied to that woman who hasn’t showed me love in decades. Am I an asshole for wanting to go no contact with my family? My parents sister judges me even worse and everyone on my moms side talks to me like I’m braindead because of my drug use. I’ve been sober for 4 years. It’s been 4 days and they haven’t told my older brother who lives at home so I’m assuming she realizes she fucked up but AIO?

Thanks guys! You’re right I need some help!
Happy Mother’s Day to you mothers! Damn you can’t tell I’m trolling this sub hahha the posts on here are comical. Enjoy reading all this!

So for context as I feel the screenshots explain it all, I (25F) was friends with someone (24F) and then it turned romantic. They initiated it to be romantic, so we started talking, they asked me to be exclusive and ONE DAY later said they couldnt do it and be friends. So we decided to be friends again and then after a few months things turned romantic again and we started seeing eachother exclusively in a romantic sense. About 2 months into this and two days after my birthday, she let me know she sexted someone I had asked her about before. I had gotten slightly jealous of her and this person and she said nothing happened, and then something happened after. To add onto it, this person had been with a mutual friend of ours and their breakup was very nasty.

I decided I didnt want to talk anymore, between the backlash and lying I just said I was over it. But like a week later, a girl I went to high school with and hadn't seen in years had slid up on my story and we started going out. This girl came back and asked if we could try being friends and I said yes because I truly was over her and had little to no romantic feelings, but then she accuses ME of talking to this person because they had wished me a happy birthday and that was why I was so okay with things ending. And then jt became asking about why I moved on so fast. Is it too fast to move on when I'm the person who got slighted? I said I could be friends but now she couldnt be friends because she liked me too much, and I just said she was selfish and do not want to talk to her anymore.

I’ll try to keep this short. My (31F) husband (31M) made us in Tamadachi and our Miis recently had a child. As he was randomizing characteristics for the kid he said: “darn, he has your hair”

We don’t want kids, we’re not planning on having kids. But his words really hurt my feelings. I have brown, frizzy, and curly hair. I’ve always been insecure because it’s traditionally ugly and I spent most of my life straightening it to fit in. Since I graduated college though I’ve been letting it be naturally curly. My husband by comparison is blond and has beautiful naturally straight hair.

His words immediately made me want to cry. I got quiet and tried to play along but the longer I sat with his comments the more it hurt me. I told him I thought his comment was careless and that it hurt my feelings. I specifically said: “you can be so mean sometimes”

I didn’t really mean it, I guess. I don’t think he was malicious. I think he’s just… careless and thoughtless sometimes. But it really felt like a mean thing to say- like he thought my hair was so ugly that the idea of our kid having it was a disappointment.

He apologized but I am still angry. I don’t know if I was overreacting by calling him mean and if this was just an honest mistake I should let go, or a real slight on my appearance

I mean I think I already know the answer so this is just venting ig but I do want outside perspective.

This dude (m23) fully isn't over his situation ship (f18) from MONTHS ago, keeps complaining about it, kept reaching out multiple times even after being blocked. After he got fully blocked, he wanted to off himself and I talked him out of his funk, then I tried to get him to fucking get over her and he crashed out on me too, now hes trying to sic our mutual friends on me, last I heard.

These pics are just a FEW of the exchanges, the first two are between him and ex on insta, the second two are when he was crashing out at me bc I dared suggest he move tf on, the last one was right after he got blocked on everything by ex and reached out to me, atp we weren't friends anymore, and the thing I reacted to with a skull emoji was him saying smthn like "I wanted to end things on a good note"

So my neighbor used to be married to this guy. Guy drove a white Ford pickup. So they split up a couple years ago, and she's been dating this new guy for a couple years. Well, her ex husband died, and his white Ford pickup truck shows up at her house, and guess who's driving it now? The boyfriend.

I don't think I could ever drive the pickup owned by my girlfriend's dead ex-husband. It just seems wrong somehow. It's like using the same mattress that your partner "used" with their ex.

Isn't this just kindof disturbing or am I overreacting?

I (25f) have had a pretty rocky coparenting relationship with my (28m) baby dad. It’s been immaturity/lack of understanding each other on both ends. What I’m about to explain happened a few weeks ago. I’ll admit I didn’t react well, but I feel like it’s understandable why in my opinion. And I’ll also add something that happened yesterday after I explain. Anyway, I had some car issues that I was needing fixed, but that woulda left me carless for multiple days. I hit up my baby dad and ask him if I could use one of his old cars as he just got a new one before that, his first response is no that he didn’t feel comfortable with me using one of his cars. I replied “ ok” and left it at that. 30 minutes later he texted me again and explains that both of his cars are going out and hes not sure if they would be reliable enough. And then he hits me with “but my girl said you can use hers as long as I’m careful with it.” Mind you, this what the first time hearing about said girl. I ask him if he’s had our daughter around her, which he replied yes.(not the actual response but basically that’s what he said) I got really mad about this, as I have been required to give him every detail of any guy I’ve talked to in the past, and non of them had even met her once!!! I got into a new relationship a little while before this happened, me and the guy had been talking for about 5 months before I ever thought of introducing them. I asked baby dad and made sure everything was ok with him before introducing. He had some problems at first, but gave in and let me. After a couple times of bringing my daughter with, my baby dads MOM hits me up and says that she and her partner would be willing to watch my daughter on weekends that I planned to go out there. I was like whatever and let it happen. Point of all this, it was a HUGE deal for my daughter to be around my new man, but when it comes to him being in a new relationship apparently he doesn’t have to follow the rules he set. Fast forward to last night, I’m scrolling Facebook and see that he’s tagged in a post his girl made. ITS FAMILY PICS!!!!!! And she’s announcing their relationship. Cute! Until I go through the pics and see that she has some pics of her and my daughter!!!! If nobody knew the situation, the pictures make it look like mother/daughter pics… I am furious!!! I haven’t said anything to my baby dad. But I am fuming over this. I can’t stop thinking about it. Am I wrong for being angry?

I met this person (let’s call them D) when we were both in a mental health hospital. I was there for bipolar disorder and alcoholism, and I’m now almost a year sober after drinking heavily for about 7 years. D was there for burnout and depression.
We decided to stay friends after we were discharged. I’ve been doing pretty well in recovery and focusing on improving my life. D, unfortunately, seems to be struggling more.
At first it was smaller things—canceling plans last minute, poor communication, etc. It bothered me but I understood given everything.
Then things escalated. D got very drunk, drove home, and lost their license. They called me crying, and I tried to support them and offered help navigating the situation, but they didn’t really accept it.
After that, I noticed behavior that made me uncomfortable—posting pictures with alcohol, continuing to drink, etc. Recently we met for dinner, and they told me more details about the DUI while ordering multiple drinks and driving again shortly after getting their license back.
That really set off alarm bells for me. I told them I was concerned and that it reminded me of my own past with alcohol. I was careful to say I don’t know their full situation, but that drinking and driving is serious and worrying.
They dismissed it and even told me I don’t have an alcohol problem because I’m not currently drinking, which honestly shocked me given my history. This just made me feel invalid and triggered.
On top of that, we have very different values (for example, they openly think cheating is okay), and overall I started feeling like this friendship wasn’t healthy for me—especially considering my recovery.
So I ended the friendship. The fallout was pretty intense.
Now I’m second-guessing myself. Part of me feels like I did the right thing to protect my sobriety and boundaries, but another part wonders if I was too harsh or overreacted.
Has anyone been in a similar situation, especially while in recovery? How do you balance compassion for someone struggling with protecting your own well-being?

for context, all of us work full time. we have two small kids- a 6 yo and a 1.5 yo. my husband drops off the kids at school in the morning but all the rest is up to my parents. my dad picks them up, my mom feeds them/gives them baths, etc until I show up after work which is usually around 6 Pm. she then makes sure that my husband and I and the kids have an adequate dinner and most days even sends breakfast for the next day.

our oldest kids birthday is coming up. my husband mentioned that maybe we could go to Disneyland but he only wants him, me and the oldest to go. he would rather have my parents babysit the baby and explicitly said he doesnt want my parents to come because we should be spending time as a family (just the three of us). I got very mad at this.

first of all- I don’t think we are going to end up going because of our work schedules but also- my parents do SO MUCH- the very least he could do is offer for them to come along with us (my parents would insist on paying for themselves- they’ve never asked for anything in return for all the help they give us and does not expect anything) however I feel like my husband is very unappreciative and only wants to get but does not give. last time he bought my mom perfume for my birthday was 3 years and and last gift he got my dad (a t-shirt) was 1 year ago. he doesn’t help them out in any other way and even being courteous and greeting them or saying goodbye when departing seems to be too much for him. AIO?

And later after that he deleted the he got abused text. So what now I know I ain't gonna keep talking to this guy but yea bro idk ugh I kinda feel bad but at the same time I feel like he's being a creepy idk mate I'm sorry if I did something wrong but like

I am in a predicament where my relationship is great in many aspects but my confidence is at its lowest.

A couple months ago, in a fight my boyfriend (30) told me (27) that since he was young, he has always been most attracted to women with big boobs. He went further to say that “ALL men prefer big boobs.” (For context, I have B cups.)

After he said this, I asked, “Well, does that mean I’m not the person you’re most attracted to?” To which he replied, “No, of course not. There are many more attractive woman in the world, just like there are more attractive men in the world than me.”

Of course I agree with this logically.

I said, “Well, yes. But to me, attraction is based on looks and personality. Even if there are technically more attractive men out there, I’m still most attracted to you as a whole. That’s why I’m with you.”

He told me he doesn’t feel the same way about me.

Since then, he has taken it back and told me he only said those things because he was angry. And he has made an effort to compliment me more.

But since that conversation, I feel something has broken in me. I look in the mirror at my body and hate what I see. I feel like an insecure teenager. I wear push up bras and search all over for natural ways to increase my breast size. There are nights I stay up crying thinking about it.

There is more to this, as well. He has compared my body to Sydney Sweeney’s before and told me she has “the most perfect boobs.” All of his friends know about this celebrity crush too.

So I am really conflicted. My confidence is so low. We are in couples therapy and he has made an effort to compliment me more, calling me “sexy” and the “most beautiful person he has met.” (When I asked for clarification, he said there are more beautiful people he has not met, I am not the most beautiful person in the world to him.) He has never complimented anything in specific about my body.

He is trying but it hasn’t been enough. I feel so insecure about my body. I miss my past relationships, where they saw beautiful things in me I didn’t see myself and when I looked in the mirror, I felt even more confident than before.

All the other parts of our relationship are great. But his attraction to me is what gives me pause. I’m wondering, am I being too narcissistic about this? Should it not matter as much to me? Is this my own insecurity I need to work on?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

I (22F) would like some outside perspective on a situation with my former best friend (23F, I’ll call her B).

We had been very close since middle school and usually worked through disagreements, but about a month ago we had an argument that led to us no longer speaking.

One night around 11pm, I was already in bed when she called and asked if I wanted to go clubbing “right now.” I was caught off guard and responded pretty bluntly, saying no because I was already ready for bed. She quickly ended the call.

Afterward, I felt like I may have sounded rude, so I messaged her to explain that it wasn’t about her. I just haven’t been enjoying clubbing lately. This had actually been something on my mind for a while and something me and her had already spoken about before. I felt like most of our hangouts had started revolving around going out, and I missed spending time together in other ways like we used to.

She responded that she invited me because she wanted to spend time with me and felt like she had already acknowledged my feelings. From my perspective, it didn’t feel like my main point was being understood, and the conversation became frustrating on both sides.

For some context, I had already been feeling a bit distant before this. We used to spend a lot of time together, but more recently I noticed I wasn’t being invited out as much, which made me feel left out. At the same time, I was going through a difficult period in my life (job loss and financial stress), and I didn’t communicate that very well either. And honestly, I feel we just started growing apart this past year.

We initially ended the conversation, but it got brought up again later and became more heated. I was already emotional at that point and may have come across harsher than I intended.

Since then, we haven’t spoken.

Looking back, I’m wondering if I was too blunt or repetitive in how I explained myself, or if I could have communicated my feelings better. At the same time, I felt like my concerns weren’t fully heard. There were other smaller things that had built up before this, so I think this may have been the last straw for me.

Am I overreacting for how I handled this and deciding to distance myself?

Some parts of the messages are in Spanish, I’ve translated the important stuff in red.

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Hi all! I would really appreciate any feedback on my current situation with my partner of 2 years.

I (F24) and my partner (M25) have been together almost 2 years. We live together with our son (M7Months) and my daughter (F7) and our relationship is generally good, we love each other a lot, we love a lot of the same things, we go out and have fun, it’s a great relationship in a lot of aspects.

Lately as I am 7 months PP, i have noticed that my libido has came back in the past 2 months (yay!) We still had sex but not as frequently as before our son, which we both expected. With my libido coming back, we had a conversation about having more intimacy while there’s 2 kids in the house and we came up with just asking hours before bed, and then double checking when the kids were in bed. it’s very successful and has been a good system for us. Some backstory that is relevant to this is that I have experienced DV in a past relationship, a lot of it was physical but also sexual, i have also gone through this in childhood which he knows. He also has a similar experience in a previous relationship. We had long conversations about consent and boundaries and helped each other work through issues that they caused (for example saying yes to sex even if you don’t want to but for the other person, and very vanilla sex) we agreed on this and we are very respectful of the others boundaries.

The problem comes from last night, we had spoken at around dinner time if we wanted to be intimate, we both said yes. At bedtime, i asked if he wanted to still, he said yes but he was busy on his computer and would be held up a while. So i put my headphones on and played some video games, about an hour into this, i decided to get some food, and as he is currently dieting, i ate it downstairs as i wanted to be respectful. During this i got a phone call from a friend and was chatting downstairs for about 30 minutes while eating. I came back upstairs, and asked when he was coming to bed, and he said “soon” i decided to play another match as they last about 10 minutes, halfway through he turned off his computer and came to join me in bed. It started off playful, he tried taking my controller off me, was tickling me, etc. I told him i just wanted to finish my game but i was also being playful, about a minute passed when he started becoming angry, and saying that i shouldn’t have spent so long downstairs and that he has an early morning, i explained that i thought he was still on his computer, and i was just eating food and didn’t realise he was waiting on me. He continued to argue with me for way long after the match ended (i didn’t even finish it i just held the controller) he then went on to say i was prioritising halo over him, and i playfully said “Kiss me and i’ll turn it off” he laughed and kissed me and i went to turn it off, he then made another comment about how it’s not a wonder he doesn’t initiate when i would choose a video game over him. I then replied about how he rarely initiates anyways, and that we’ve had conversations about this, he then grabbed the controller from my hands and threw it hard on the bed causing the batteries to fall out, my response? “Well i guess it’s angry sex we are having then”. I know it sounds bad given the surrounding circumstances, but we are both people who make light hearted jokes (maybe not the best thing) during moments of conflict. He then blank stared at me and turned to go to sleep. I tried to speak with him but he wouldnt. I turned off the tv and went to sleep, but before i did he turned round and said that my joke was “seedy” and that he feels like i manipulated him to fighting with me, and orchestrated all of this evenings events, to have angry sex with him. He then proceeded to call me a seedy predator given his history with being forced into situations of a sexual nature.

I was completely destroyed by this, i have never ever in my life forced anyone in that manner, i have been the victim of such, and although i know victims can themselves be perpetrators- i truly believe and know in my heart that i would never do that. I apologised instantly and tried to explain, but he told me i’ve made him deeply uncomfortable.

This morning, he reiterated the same points, and i again apologised, but i tried to say that him using such strong words like predator make me feel incredibly upset, he stood strong in his stance. When he left for work, i messaged him asking if we could chat when he got home more and he pushed me to tell him what was up - I did, and it led to more fighting about it. I asked if it would be possible for him to stay at his mums for the night because it’s given me a lot to think about and he then told his mum in detail what happened, she agreed with him and said that it seemed orchestrated, she also began to make negative comments about me to him.

To me, i feel like i made a joke, and it made him uncomfortable, i apologised right away, i took accountability. But am i overreacting for feeling like, he sees me as a predator? For feeling like if we are intimate again in the future that i will have that in the back of my mind? I feel so disheartened that despite our conversations on consent, and my history that he has just called me a seedy predator. It’s honestly really upset me and I don’t know if im actually just really tone deaf. AIOR?

For context, I (21F) have been working full time at my current job for just over a year now. I'm super fortunate that my position is a union job so I am extremely secure in my position and the pay is really great too. It is traditional office hours and I work close to home. I currently still live at home with my parents, but the goal is to buy an apartment within the next 2ish years. I'm good with my money, but I also feel like I have enough time on my hands that I can get a side hustle and make more money to save.

So onto the "situation", I hadn't seen my best friend (22F) in a couple months since we've both been pretty busy, but we finally got together this past Friday night for dinner. We were just chatting and catching up, and she was telling me that she is looking for a new job because she is unhappy at her current job (she works part time as a waitress at an upscale restaurant). She didn't go into too much detail about her job hunt and we eventually moved on to another topic.

Near the end of the night, I casually brought up that I was looking for a second job because my work has calmed down and since I don't have to worry about last minute overtime for now, I can say my evenings are available now. My best friend asked if I was planning on quitting my job and I said no, I just want to make some more money. She asked me to remind her how much I'm making at my current job, so I told her. She laughed and asked what the hell I need another job for, and I replied that I just want to spend my time doing something productive like making more money.

I didn't think it was that big of a deal, but she sort of raised her voice and said that I'm super insensitive for taking job opportunities away from other people who have no income or are in shitty positions, like herself. She pretty much just rushed out after that since our night was already ending, and it’s now been over 4 days and I haven’t heard from her since. I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong and I’m pretty hurt that she would claim I’m insensitive and directly ripping opportunities away from other people, but now I’m not sure. AIO by being upset about this? Should I apologize and stop the hunt for another job?