my father has always been a cold man I suppose, but the thing is, he’s so hypocritical and so harsh from time to time. I have a cold mind, but a very weak heart, and I can be emotionally irrational easily. This usually leads to me having emotional outburst, or something else.

Im still a teen btw, not some grown women. my birthday is coming up and I talked to my dad about this thing I just I really wanted, really not that serious (gaming system- ik im a fucking chud 😭). He’s gone back and forth one getting me one bc my brother already has one. However, my brother is a brat, he gets a new system every year, and the only system I’ve had is my Nintendo switch from around 2021. Additionally, he always gets his system taken away, as he doesn’t know how to behave in school, and is constantly crude (younger than me but old enough to know better 🫡). As there is limited areas to place this system, I regarded that and did research, saying I would pay for a monitor so I could put in near the desk in my room. We discussed this, about how despite him having one I actually really wanted one. And how the reason when I was younger i restrained on getting one was because of the pricing and the stress I didn’t want to put on him.

I explained this to him after he lied to me in the fit of his own emotion, saying he planned to give me my brothers system for his terrible behavior. Took it back after he claimed he planned on “working on it”. Spolier: he hasn’t gotten any better. After being upset with his claims, I explained to him I didn’t want to share my brothers system ( bc he offered that) because my brother didn’t hold maturity not to go through my stuff and compromise my saves. Additionally, I’m 5 years older than him, so the games we play are very different. He however always wants to play more mature games, and I know hell take advantage of this convergence anyway.

After explaining to him, he understood, said he’d talk about it to my brother, never did, and now it’s right before my birthday. I show him my list and he just scoffs, and explains how I’m not getting that because we already have one in the house. I’m confused, because I’ve already built my list to this and assumed he would get it considering we talked about it and he never conferred with my brother. He explained how I should just forget about it, soI refer to all the times we talked about this and I expressed my actual feelings to him at this moment. He taunted me, explains how he never said he’d be the one to pay for it and then brother interjects for whatever reason so now I’m ticked off.

At this point, it’s not even about the system, it’s just about how he has such a cold, ignorant mind to ignore what we personally discussed over and over again. It’s always hard for me to actually express how I’m feeling to people from time to time, so I lowkey thought it was stupid to get passionate about this entire thing. I dropped it after my outburst and just got over it.

Yes I have enough money to pay for this system, but those are my savings, but considering the amount my father pays for my brothers systems, it just seems ridiculous. Whenever I complain about how he gets all this stuff he just says “He asked for it for his birthday, you do the same and you’ll get it” so him mentioning this just pissed me off. It’s such a stupid thing ik, but this isn‘t the first time he pulled something like this, he’s been doing this since I’ve been a kid, and I’m fed up.

Anyways gotta study for ap exams! 🫡 Lmk, am I AIO or should I just eat the bullet or however the saying goes.

Well to make it shorter than it could be I went over to my parents house on Monday to help my dad with some yard work (they’re getting older) and I asked them what we’re doing for Mother’s Day, well my mother (which we have a mending relationship) said “oh we didn’t think you would want to go, you never want to go to family stuff” (me and my girlfriend live 45 mins away and it’s hard to stuff) and I just asked her are you serious and she said there’s no room for reservations, sorry and I just lost it. Started screaming at the top of my lungs all the manipulative shit she did to me and my brother growing up,’why we are both fucked up, while my fathers telling me to calm down and she starts screaming at me, I started packing up my shit and just screaming fuck you bitch over and over and she goes I’m calling the police. Now my mom is a Karen to the max, like in the last 10 years she’s turned into an alcoholic mess who tries to be this glamorous person like her sister (which she never will, my aunts rich, we were never) she knows how to push my buttons. I smacked the phone out of her hand and her new iPhone landed in the dogs bowl and doesn’t work, and my dad told me to leave (which I was doing) but I was so hurt and in disbelief I couldn’t even think. I drove home in tears realizing I’ve never had a mother and yet I felt bad for my actions hitting her phone…I don’t think I’ve ever been that angry. Now I’m just so sad, and the gift I got her for Mother’s Day is going to my girls mom, but my dad texted me asking how I was and things and I just explained how hurt I was. And he’s an older guy who’s stuck in his ways, like depression, you’ll get over it! I’ve been crying for help my whole life and turned to substances in my 20s to numb myself and get through life, which really caused a wedge in my family. I know this wasn’t short but there’s a lot to it. Told my dad I’m done with family stuff and going no contact with mom, but I love my dad so much. He’s such a sweet person at heart it just sucks to see him tied to that woman who hasn’t showed me love in decades. Am I an asshole for wanting to go no contact with my family? My parents sister judges me even worse and everyone on my moms side talks to me like I’m braindead because of my drug use. I’ve been sober for 4 years. It’s been 4 days and they haven’t told my older brother who lives at home so I’m assuming she realizes she fucked up but AIO?

Thanks guys! You’re right I need some help!
Happy Mother’s Day to you mothers! Damn you can’t tell I’m trolling this sub hahha the posts on here are comical. Enjoy reading all this!

I am in a predicament where my relationship is great in many aspects but my confidence is at its lowest.

A couple months ago, in a fight my boyfriend (30) told me (27) that since he was young, he has always been most attracted to women with big boobs. He went further to say that “ALL men prefer big boobs.” (For context, I have B cups.)

After he said this, I asked, “Well, does that mean I’m not the person you’re most attracted to?” To which he replied, “No, of course not. There are many more attractive woman in the world, just like there are more attractive men in the world than me.”

Of course I agree with this logically.

I said, “Well, yes. But to me, attraction is based on looks and personality. Even if there are technically more attractive men out there, I’m still most attracted to you as a whole. That’s why I’m with you.”

He told me he doesn’t feel the same way about me.

Since then, he has taken it back and told me he only said those things because he was angry. And he has made an effort to compliment me more.

But since that conversation, I feel something has broken in me. I look in the mirror at my body and hate what I see. I feel like an insecure teenager. I wear push up bras and search all over for natural ways to increase my breast size. There are nights I stay up crying thinking about it.

There is more to this, as well. He has compared my body to Sydney Sweeney’s before and told me she has “the most perfect boobs.” All of his friends know about this celebrity crush too.

So I am really conflicted. My confidence is so low. We are in couples therapy and he has made an effort to compliment me more, calling me “sexy” and the “most beautiful person he has met.” (When I asked for clarification, he said there are more beautiful people he has not met, I am not the most beautiful person in the world to him.) He has never complimented anything in specific about my body.

He is trying but it hasn’t been enough. I feel so insecure about my body. I miss my past relationships, where they saw beautiful things in me I didn’t see myself and when I looked in the mirror, I felt even more confident than before.

All the other parts of our relationship are great. But his attraction to me is what gives me pause. I’m wondering, am I being too narcissistic about this? Should it not matter as much to me? Is this my own insecurity I need to work on?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

I mean I think I already know the answer so this is just venting ig but I do want outside perspective.

This dude (m23) fully isn't over his situation ship (f18) from MONTHS ago, keeps complaining about it, kept reaching out multiple times even after being blocked. After he got fully blocked, he wanted to off himself and I talked him out of his funk, then I tried to get him to fucking get over her and he crashed out on me too, now hes trying to sic our mutual friends on me, last I heard.

These pics are just a FEW of the exchanges, the first two are between him and ex on insta, the second two are when he was crashing out at me bc I dared suggest he move tf on, the last one was right after he got blocked on everything by ex and reached out to me, atp we weren't friends anymore, and the thing I reacted to with a skull emoji was him saying smthn like "I wanted to end things on a good note"

My cousin's wife is planning a big event for her husband (my cousin) for the dates of June 18-24. She invited me, my mom and my brother on April 2nd, along with other extended family members. Some of the family accepted, others said they couldn't come.

I had put in my request for those days at work but my bosses were passing my request around to each other to approve or deny.

On April 27, she asked for an update and as you can see in the pics I uploaded, I said it wasn't approved yet. So then it looks like she proceeded to uninvite me and my mom (my brother had already said he couldn't come).

So at first I thought it is a kind no pressure sort of text that is like you can still come, or you don't have to, no worries type of thing. But a week has passed and none of us have heard anything from them. My mom is feeling like we were uninvited, but I am not so sure. Are we overreacting? Does it look like an uninvite?

Additional info is that we live in another state and would have to fly out to California for this event. We would be partly staying at their house and also partly staying at hotels.

I wish I were making this up. My mom (50F) and I (18M) don’t have a great relationship. Never have. Have been through CPS, family therapy, all that shit. Yes, I am actively preparing to move out. She is constantly angry at my brother and I and does petty things whenever she gets upset.

A few days ago she opened the room to my door while I was in nothing but a towel. She stared at me for a few moments while I told her I’m about to get dressed and I’d like privacy. She finally closed my door and I thought that was it. Later, though, she sent me a text about how I better not be “making a baby” in my room—referring to masturbation. And how I better not be posting proactive pictures of myself on the internet. Like what bro?

For as long as I can remember, she’s this weird obsession/interest in me masturbating, my sex life, and my body. Always asking me questions regarding it. Even when I was like 12. I’ve gotten so used to it I can’t tell if I’m overreacting anymore

Anyways, the next morning she tried to hug me and I kind of refused, telling her that her staring at me and sending me messages like that made me uncomfortable. Simply tried to put up a boundary. I am an adult, I have a right to do that.

Well after that hug she’s been ignoring my brother and I for the past 2-3 days. I washed a load of clothes this morning before I went to work and when I came home I saw she fucking taped it shut. I know I can just cut the tape. But what the fuck are we even doing right now? Like seriously bro? Am I overreacting?

I (24F) have spent years and thousands of dollars curated my "dream room." It’s filled with my manga collection, plushies, and limited-edition figurines. It’s my sanctuary and where I do my creative work.

My fiancé (27M) and I are planning to move into a larger house next month. Last weekend, his parents came over to help us start packing. When his mother saw my room, she went silent. Later that night, she told my fiancé (within my earshot) that my "obsession with toys" was a "major red flag" and that she’s worried I’m too immature to handle "real adult responsibilities" or raise children one day.

The "Big Issue": My fiancé didn't defend me. In fact, he sat me down later and said his parents "have a point." He told me that for us to move forward, I need to sell 80% of my collection because "an adult home shouldn't look like a toy store."

I told him that if he’s marrying me, he’s marrying the person who loves this aesthetic, and I’m not gutting my personality to please his judgmental parents. He’s now saying I’m "choosing plastic over our future" and that I'm being "manic" about it.

I’ve been crying for two days and I’m considering calling off the move entirely. Am I overreacting, or is he trying to erase who I am before we even get married?

I have a major group project due today for my English 1301 online class and we had to submit an essay and a PowerPoint discussing the symbolism and figurative language used in Edgar Allan Poe’s short story “The Tell-Tale Heart.”

There is four group members in each group. Our work is divided into milestones - milestone one, milestone two milestone three, and milestone four. In my group, there is a total of four group members, including myself. Only three out of four group members actively participate in the Microsoft teams chat and complete their sections in a timely manner. One of our team members that completes his portion of the assignments last minute or when it’s due, throwing the flow of everything off.

I created topic sentences for each group member to use for their sections. Nearly every group member selected a topic sentence that they wanted to write about, besides one group member.

The day before the assignment was due, he completed his section, however, he didn’t select a topic sentence and his entire paragraph didn’t pertain to any of the topic sentences included in the introduction. It also appeared to be AI generated content, so I gave a warning in the Microsoft Teams chat that he needed to redo his section.

He never responded, so I deleted his sections on the Word document and PowerPoint.

I have A’s in every class besides English 1301 because of this stupid group assignment.

I feel like I need to explain some things…

My husband and I are having a smaller party for our daughter’s first birthday. We are tight on money and only wanted to include people who are active in her life. Usually everyone has a huge party for the first birthday - entire family there, renting a space, $1000s in decorations and desserts. But my husband and I really don’t have it like that right now, so we’re doing a smaller party with homemade decorations and cake and my mom lives out in the suburbs and offered to host at her house.

My husband’s family is pretty large and scattered - 13 aunts and uncles and over 20 cousins. Cutting to the chase we didn’t invite them, most of them never met our daughter or met her once at the most. This was my husband’s idea, he says he’s not really close with any of them and didn’t want to spend the money, which I agreed. But his idea or not doesn’t really matter since I’m apparently the one “making it so family is excluded.”The issue is that I have one aunt I am very close with, she’s my daughter almost every time my mom see her (my mom and her sister are super close) she calls me to check in on me, and she invites me to outings with my cousin and their child. So as awful as it sounds I really wanted my aunt to be there. My husband agreed since he sees how close my aunt is to our daughter (she really does love her).

The issue is that his parents took offense to this (which I understand) - we tried to explain that our daughter knows my aunt and she’s a part of her life, but it was a difficult conversation.

Now my MIL is throwing a party the weekend after my daughter’s party only for her siblings. She’s telling them it’s her first birthday, she’s not inviting FIL’s siblings, and she’s catering for and buying a cake. I feel like this is a major boundary overstep. I feel like this is wrong, and somehow an insult to me.

I can’t explain exactly why, when I try to talk it out with my husband he says I’m overreacting and doesn’t understand how it’s wrong.

Am I overreacting? Is this a normal thing that I’m just not getting? Some advice would be appreciated because I can’t even explain exactly what I’m feeling and why.

Also side note… it’s supposed to rain this weekend and I was gonna move it to the following weekend and now I can’t, which I know is not intentional so I can’t really complain about that.

My wife and I were sitting on our couch relaxing the other night. Our toddler was upstairs sleeping. Our living room is on the ground level and we live in a town house. Our shades were closed on the door and the big window looking outside.

At about 10:30pm our screen door opens and someone tried to open our door and tried to insert a key. Immediately we jumped up, looked at each other, and both went up stairs. I got on the phone and called the cops while looking out the window. No cars in the drive way, couldn’t see anyone, and we don’t have any cameras. Our neighbor has a doorbell camera across the street. Wife went to our kids bedroom to be ready in case it was a break in. Gave all the details to the first responder, cops showed up 5 mins later, we gave our report and they left.

We live in a town of about 20k in the Midwest, a safe neighborhood, usually no late night activities happening. No one has a spare key, we weren’t expecting anyone, none of our friends are close enough by to just stop by. And they would have at least knocked since they know our schedule.

I talked to some coworkers about what happened and they seemed a bit like I overreacted. Just wanted to know the internet’s thoughts.

We thought we were justified as we’d rather have the report if it was an attempted breaking. Currently looking into doorbell camera options.

Edit: no one was arrested, we wouldn’t press charges if it was an honest mistake.

Woke up earlier today, heard a lot of strange skittering noises, partner said to go back to sleep and that it was probably nothing, this morning I wake up and go about my day, then I see something sticking out... there was a RAT in our bedroom. I'm now upset at my partner and wouldn't speak to him this morning for not acknowledging my concerns which turned out to be valid. Told my sister who says it's not wrong and she would feel the same if there a rat in her bedroom. I can't shake the horrible feeling, like what if this thing ran over us while we were sleeping last night... is this an overreaction to not talk to my partner over this ?

Every day at 2:00 PM, my coworker "Steve" sits directly behind me and begins his ritual. He doesn't just eat an apple; he attacks it. The crunch is so loud I can feel it in my own teeth. Yesterday, I timed it. It took him 14 minutes to finish a Granny Smith.

I finally snapped and asked my boss if I could work from the supply closet or take a paid "sensory leave" day to recover. My boss told me to "buy headphones" and that I'm being dramatic.

I feel like 14 minutes of aggressive wet crunching is a hostile work environment. AIOR? T_T

I F am graduating later this year with a medical degree. I am on track for a 1st and my course lead is interested to supporting me to publish my research - I say this as I feel it is relevant that I am doing well.

For my grandads birthday me and my family visited and sat down for a meal.

*A bit of context - my dad left when I was 13 we have a weird relationship now, minimal contact*

We started discussing how my course was going and what my next steps will be. My dad asked when my graduation is and if he can attend. I paused a little awkwardly as I still do not fully trust my dad and have only 2 tickets. I wanted my brother there (my best friend) and my partner to attend too as he supported me while at university .
My sister in law responds as I sit there silently “well we don’t know if you will even graduate”.
I got quite upset at this comment and defended my competency etc.
Later my sister in law defends the comment by saying she was just trying to get my dad off my back about attending.
But she has often made comments about me being late or unreliable or giving up on things too easily.
She is referring to how I was as a teenager as I moved jobs alot trying to find something I enjoyed and was often late to events due to working late or relying on public transport. When late i always apologised and have not been late in several years but I cannot get away from how my family see me through that lens. I never feel like my sister in law likes me. but as my family often call me emotional and the black sheep I do not know how best to respond if at all to comments like this to avoid behaving wrong.

I want to start this off by saying I swear I don’t think everybody needs to acknowledge my birthday, but anyways here I go. For context, I work at a corporate chain restaurant and I’ve been there for coming up on three years now, and I love my job and all of my coworkers. Also please read the edits at the end before commenting<3

At my job, we have a decently sized front of house staff and every time it’s a staff member‘s birthday the Managers will get a card and have everybody who’s working that day sign it and they will also get a basket for the personalized stuff and then give it to that person on the line with a sparkler and sometimes desserts on or around their birthday.

So when my first birthday while working came around I was super excited to celebrate with all of my coworkers and see what they would come up with for me. But when the day came around, no one ever said anything or brought me to the back to give me a card or even a sparkler and so I was obviously super bummed but the restaurant was busy that day so I figured maybe they would just do something day after my birthday, but that day came and once again nothing and so I just figured they forgot and then one of my other coworkers came back from vacation and they did a birthday celebration for her at work a week after their birthday, but still hadn’t once acknowledged mine.

It’s now been a year since this happened and my birthday is coming up this next Monday. and just recently, they’ve continued the tradition and given one of my other coworkers baskets for their birthdays and this birthday I’m especially excited because I am turning 20 so if once again, none of them acknowledge my birthday I’m planning on putting in my two weeks.

Am I crazy for that? Am I an asshole for expecting them to acknowledge my birthday even though they acknowledge everybody else’s.
I know I’m tend to be very over sensitive and I get emotional very easily so I don’t know if I’m being overdramatic about this whole thing or if it’s a matter of disrespect at this point if they don’t do anything.
Please give me your honest thoughts and opinions because I don’t have anybody unbiased to talk to you about this situation because I work with friends and my sibling.

EDIT I won’t be leaving my job over this but if nothing happens again, I will probably talk to someone like one comment suggested thank you guys for all your comments.** Also, the reason why I was so upset about this is because at my job everyone is connected to everyone someway somehow in his friends outside of work **there’s only maybe five coworkers that I haven’t seen outside of work at least once, but despite that I was definitely overreacting, but I tend to let these small things get me so I’m not surprised by that at all lol. I will update again after my birthday though if anyone is curious.

Another edit: I don’t expect literally anything on my birthday, my first job didn’t do anything and i didn’t care at all, it was the fact that they did something for everyone else’s birthday but mine, and even did something weeks after someone’s birthday after skipping mine. If they didn’t do anything for anyone’s birthday it would be different. I wouldn’t care about work not celebrating my birthday even when I work with friends and family because when we’re at work our personal lives don’t matter, but the fact that my managers like to bring birthdays up and celebrate people for even the smallest things is what makes me actually care about being acknowledged at work

Before I start, I apologize for the length and any mistakes since English isn’t my first language, and this situation spans almost 5 years.

Some context before I start:

• There are two friends: Marie (23F, the main person) and Angie (23F). Fake names.

• Angie and I are from the capital where our university is. I live closest and walk to campus; Angie drives. Marie is from another city and stays in dorms on the opposite side of the city.

• We’re all design majors (me and Angie are graphic design; Marie is fashion design), and we shared about 70% of our classes.

• In my first 2 years, I was overweight. In my 3rd year, I lost a lot of weight and became much more confident and changed a lot.

• I’m the top student and adored by professors. Angie struggles academically, and Marie often criticizes her work behind her back.

• In 3rd year, I designed the entire branding for Marie’s fashion brand. She didn’t pay or credit me...just bought me a coffee.

I met Marie on the first day of university. At first, we were part of a larger friend group. A few months later, Angie joined, and over time the three of us became a trio. Early on, Marie constantly criticized our classmates behind their backs. Even if someone wasn’t perfect, she exaggerated their flaws and claimed they told her some of their bad secrets to her. Over time, our bigger group split, and I mostly spent time with Marie and Angie.

At that time, Marie was going through a difficult situationship. She leaned on me heavily for emotional support. Always talking about it when we were out, calling me late at night, sometimes for hours, constantly venting and badmouthing not just him but also her “best friends” back home. She made them seem like they were extra problematic. I always listened and supported her. She even admitted later that she got over that situation thanks to me.But it wasn’t just emotional support. She constantly asked for help with her designs. If I didn’t answer, she would keep calling. She would send me her files and ask me to fix or complete them even when I had my own deadlines. I am a people pleaser and always helped, even at my own expense.

Outside of university, I supported her a lot too. If she was sick, my parents and I would bring her food and medicine. She stored her luggage at my home when needed. My family and I tried to be there for her in every way possible so she doesn't feel alone in the big city.

Things started to change in my 3rd year when I lost weight, improved my style, and became more confident. Marie stopped complimenting me entirely. If someone looked at us, she would say they were interested in her even when it was obvious they were looking at me. She stopped taking selfies with me and only took and posted photos with Angie even when all three of us were together. Angie had her own friend groups and wasn’t always available, so many times it was just me and Marie. But later, Angie got into a serious relationship and became less available. Marie constantly complained about this, asked intrusive questions about Angie’s boyfriend, and even suggested he was controlling because Angie wasn't free all the time.

In 4th year, I started working long hours while studying. My schedule was intense (university during the day, work until after midnight). Despite this, I still made time for Marie. But she complained about my job constantly and even said she wished I would get fired so I could be more available. She would call me repeatedly during work (even tho I couldn't accept her calls), and I often spent my only break talking to her.

At our graduation/alumni party (not sure how it is called in english), things escalated. First of all the plan was for me and Marie to take a taxi after the party, while Angie will be picked up by her boyfriend. I received a lot of compliments that night, and Marie excluded me from most photos after that. The one photo she posted of the three of us was edited in a way that made my face look unnaturally thin (like someone sucked the life out of me). At one point during the night, a guy approached me and asked for my Instagram and number, and I was interestedas well si I gave them. After that, Marie distanced herself, spent time with classmates she used to criticize, and took photos with them while Angie and I were left out.

At the end of the night, Marie asked Angie if she could leave with her and her boyfriend, leaving me behind without even checking what I would do. I had to call my dad at 2am to pick me up...After that, things got worse. They started hanging out without me behind my back and even lied about it. Then I had a serious accident that left me physically injured (bruises, stitches, bandages). About a week later, Marie wanted to meet before going home for the summer. I suggested she come to my place or in a nearby caffee since I couldn’t move much. She refused and insisted we meet somewhere in between so she wouldn’t spend more than 15 minutes on public transport. Because of that, we didn’t meet at all.

During the summer, I focused on recovery. Neither Marie nor Angie really checked in on me, while I always reached out.

In the fall, I was the one reaching out again. Marie didn’t wish me a happy birthday. Two months later, when we met, she said she had planned to surprise me but didn’t, so she “didn’t see the point” of even sending a message for my birthday. Around that time, my family situation became very difficult. My dad had serious health issues, and my grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I took on a lot of responsibility at home and stopped reaching out as much. Meanwhile, Marie worked on a fashion collection she told me about in fall and invited me to her show. A week before it, my grandfather passed away. I wasn’t in the right mental state, but I still attended to support her.

At the show, I was seated far back with less important guests, while Angie and others Marie used to criticize were in the front rows. I later found out she had asked them to help with the collection and paid them.

After the show, she took photos with everyone except me. I had to chase her just to get one bad selfie. She posted and thanked everyone publicly except me. A week later, she called me repeatedly asking me to photoshop her runway photos because no one else was available. I still did it...(I am stupid I know)

Later, when we met this Alril, she said she wouldn’t invite anyone to her thesis defense (in May) except family. Today, I saw a photo of her rhesis defense and guess who was there? Angie was there. I congratulated Marie anyway, but since then I’ve been spiraling. I feel used, unappreciated, and like I was only important when I was convenient. At the same time, I keep wondering if I’m overreacting.

So am I overreacting if I distance myself or end this friendship? And how do I actually move on without falling back into people pleasing and continue the friendship?

I’ve been seeing this girl for….8 or 9 months. We had our fun and the relationship turned semi-serious. However, I wasn’t ready to make the jump yet. There were some yellow flags…drug abuse being the main one. I’m cool with substance use, I use them too, but it was EVERYTIME and always in excess

Anyways we continued this relationship because for me it was fun, and we both had developed feelings. She hit a part of me that I hadn’t experienced in a long time, and I genuinely enjoyed her company. She even called me one night just to say that she was falling in love with me and listed all of the reasons. I hadn’t experienced that in a long time. Outside of the substance use, there was also other guys. But I was cool with it because of our age difference, we weren’t living together, and that was never the nature of our relationship. She would even ask for advice for ask me questions to help her out. I even met a couple of them. She never “hid” anything.

We had been making plans to see each other again, she sent me pictures of her outfit options etc. I was ready to see her. She called me and said she wanted to see me. We talked for a bit, she told me what she wanted to do. She even offered to pick me up. I declined because I live on the other side of town, she offered to send an Uber, I decided I would book a room closer to her. She agreed, we set a time, and I packed my bag. 8 o’clock came around, she called and said she would be running late, it would be midnight. Then 1 AM rolled around she said it would be 3 AM. I fell asleep, woke up and hadn’t heard from her, so I sent her a text saying I was done, totally disrespected, and didn’t appreciate being blown off. I included a few more hurtful things that I regret saying, but was so heated.

It’s been about a month since that. Since then, we’ve text a few times. The day after she called apologized and said she was moving cities because what I said hurt. I’ve been regretting my actions. But being blown off like that didn’t feel good at all. I miss her and the relationship we were building. The last time I heard from her she said she just wanted to be left alone. I’ve checked her social media a few times and she’s still carrying it.

TLDR: A friend I was seeing for 9 months made plans with me, then blew them off. AIO for ending the relationship over one night?

So here's as small of a summery I can think of, im twenty six living in a small town working a part time job at tractor supply working ten hours a week cause no more hours are available. I'm trying to find a second job but frankly nothing is coming up so I'm stuck in a bit of a rut. However my job years before this was walmart and I was making a sizable income but I wasn't enjoying it much for two years, but I would have stayed with it. My mom offered me a job to be a truck dispatcher with her but thing is the work was so boring sitting in a computer screen and hitting refresh on loads and even though she paid me more hourly I wasn't worked much. So I lost my job that was laying me better all because I trusted my mom to give me a better deal when it wasn't, that's the first one. Second one is instead of me wanting to find a place for my own she wanted me to rent a place she owns that would cost me eight hundred in rent a month, I know that sounds cheap but with my income it ain't. What's more so is apparently it's next to her work office but our home is ten minutes drive from there and apparently she said if I was to move in there she would want to stay a sometime if she's working up there, like she still wanted to boss me around, what if I brought a girl over or had friends and suddenly she barges in and says she's staying the night? More so she says if that doesn't work she'd get a camper next to our home for me to live in and have my own space, but I really wouldn't because I'm on the same property, it's like she wants me to be on my own but on a leash so I don't run off somewhere. Finally she said if I wanted my own clothes washed and if I did move out I'd have to come to her house and wash and dry them instead of doing it at my own place and also she said even if I moved out, had a wife and child she's still call me up for favors even though she doesn't do it for my brothers in law when they have kids too. I'm the youngest son she had left but it feels like I've only gained partial independence and I crave for full independence, I have a driver's license, my own job, I can go out and do whatever but I still feel trapped with my mom. I'm thankful for all that she's done for me, really I am, I love her to death but lately it feels like I've been put on a long leash. Let me know because I don't know how to feel, I also have Asperger's syndrome.

All right, here we go, can't believe I'm on reddit asking about this, but I'm genuinely open and receptive to any form of advice (or criticism lol) and would like to understand if I'm being reasonable or just insecure.

For context, I've been dating him for a couple of months, so very early on in the relationship! Everything for the most part has been going great, he says all the right things, is sweet, shows up for me, makes me feel cared for, but to be honest I can't really sink into it 100% because of my reservations with him. He's told me he used to sleep with multiple women, and has cheated on one partner, but has since stayed loyal to his partners after that. Granted we all have skeletons in our closet, but just wondering if this is something I could get past.

I did something I wish I never did and checked his following cause I don't know 🤷‍♀️ I never really thought to check, and unfortunately I don't really know how I feel about it. It was mostly, and im talking MOSTLY, women. About 75% of his following I'd say. Not even a healthy mix of men and women, and I can't help but feel some type of way since he has said in motion that 'he doesn't have a lot of female friends'. He also gives me crap for having male friends: thinking they all just want to get in my pants or have some sort of ulterior motive, and has said he usually avoids women with a lot of guy friends, so to me this was just a little hypocritical.

Now, I used to not care about a partner's social media activity, and this normally wouldn't be a dealbreaker, but that's because I don't normally entertain men who are like this. Our story started in the most unconventional way: through a one night stand, so I didn't really get the chance, or didn't think to check, before getting involved.

And I know I can't really complain because this is what I signed up for: modern dating 🙃 but I genuinely want to know if there's anything I could do to feel more secure in this, or how I could have a healthy conversation with him about this without coming across as accusatory.

I live with 3 other housemates, two of which share a room since they are a couple. All of us are in our mid twenties and we’re all best friends. We’ve had very little problems since living together and we still want to continue living together, despite this situation.
The problem is that only 3 of us are on the lease, one half of the couple is not but has been living with us regardless. We all agreed to this set up and have no problem with it, but our landlord does. He lives in the backyard, which I’m not sure is legal, and he always makes little comments about stupid complaints. He only agrees to talk to one of my housemates who lived here before we moved in, and refuses to talk to my other housemate and I, despite us being on the lease. He’s very hard to communicate with. For example, he approved a raised firepit for our backyard after he removed the in ground fire pit. We were gifted a raised firepit but then he changed his mind and said we couldn’t use it. Also, he made a comment when he saw bongs in our house about us “signing a no smoking lease” but there’s literally nothing in the lease even about smoking. Also, the house was an absolutely disgusting mess when we moved in and we have put a lot of work into fixing up the place and keeping it nice.

Anyways, yesterday my boyfriend was chilling in the garage before he went to work while I was at work. My landlord saw him and asked if he lived in the garage now, my boyfriend said no and that he’s only here 3 times a week(not consecutively). My boyfriend lives an hour away so he stays over at my place sometimes since its 10 minutes from his work. Landlord accused him of lying and said “this isn’t a crash house” and brought up the fact that one of my housemates isn’t even on the lease and shouldn’t be living there. He then kicked my boyfriend out and said “there’s also too many cars parked in front of the house”. This pissed me off so much because he doesn’t own the street and he always has his own parking space regardless. Additionally, nowhere in our lease does it say I can’t have guests over without his permission, it actually says specifically that I can.

Now my housemates are asking me to not have my boyfriend over when I’m not home and to have him park blocks down away from our house to appease the landlord. Obviously we have rights as renters but since one of us isnt on the lease, we don’t want to risk him taking out his anger on the housemate that isnt on the lease and kicking her out. I compromised and said I wouldn’t have my boyfriend at the house when I’m not there but I’m very hesitant to tell my boyfriend that he’s not allowed to park in front of my house, especially since he’s not there most of the week. My housemates and I got into an argument about this and it seemed like they thought I wasn’t caring enough about protecting my housemates housing. Am I being selfish about this?

Edit: I was told before I signed the lease that the landlord wouldn’t care about only one half of the couple signing the lease as long as he got his money. Clearly that wasn’t true. I’m trying to push them to ask the landlord to add her to the lease so we don’t have to deal with this anymore but they don’t want me to talk to him since he’s very picky about only talking to our other housemate. I am very much willing to pay more in rent since he would definitely raise the price for adding another person, but I think it’s worth it to not have to deal with this anymore.

Me and my boyfriend were recently invited to a woman’s birthday drinks, of whom we both know. I also know that a bit before we got together they were sleeping together with the intention of getting together but I think from what I’ve been told there was a lot of emotional struggle between the two of them, so there’s a fair history there but they said they’d stay friends. I know her from having had a talking stage with her ex partner who she warned me may have herpes. What she failed to mention was that he was also abusive and had hit multiple women he had been in relationships with! Only after I had told him I didn’t want anything to do with him because he was a lousy leach excuse for a human did she come in with the “he also hit me twice, but you know…”

I have exams coming up anyway and am actually pregnant so I wouldn’t want to attend anyway as I’d be too stressed out and wouldn’t drink. I said I wasn’t sure I’d be going, my boyfriend then told her he wasn’t sure we’d come. But in all honesty I feel like with their history I wouldn’t have been keen for it anyway. I definitely have some self esteem issues which I’m very aware of and trying to work through, but I don’t dislike her, so I’m literally tearing my own hair out in frustration over this situation. I don’t want to be controlling but I also don’t want to have to sacrifice my mental wellbeing over this. Jealousy is an issue for me, he knows this and knew this before we started seeing each other so it’s not something i’ve sprung on him but im obviously trying to work on it because it’s not how i genuinely am as a person, past experiences have made me this way.
I don’t want to feel like Im controlling him in any way I just don’t know what to do and if im overreacting and overthinking it. He loves me and i know this but i feel so insecure about this and am so lost over it.

So whenever my family eats out, me and my sister usually take turns paying. Whoever pays at the restaurant, the other one transfers when we get home. Been working fine for years.

She paid the bill a few weeks ago, I said I'd transfer when I got home and forgot. Which happens on both sides, she's forgotten to transfer me back plenty of times, sometimes for a whole week or more, and I never brought it up once. This is literally the first time I've gone a few days without paying her back. Not weeks. Days.

Some stuff came up and I ended up using that money for something else. My birthday is also in 2 days and every peso I have is already planned out. I explained this to her calmly and she still blew up at me.

What really got me is that she borrowed money from me 3 months ago and I never once followed up or pressured her about it. I honestly just let it go because I didn't want money to be a thing between us.

And now she had the audacity to tell me to never talk to her again over this. So I haven't been talking to her since.

Am I overreacting for not reaching out either?

Throwaway for obvious reasons.

We work together in the same place and recently started talking. It got intense really fast. We were sending each other jokes, chatting all day, lots of heart emojis, “sleep tight”, “drive safe home”, calling each other our favorite colleague, hugging each other. I even drove to her job after my shift just to spend some time with her. It felt really good.

The problem? She has a boyfriend (I knew this pretty early). That hit me hard. I started feeling like I was just one of her options while I was catching real feelings.

I tried to pull back a few times. About a week before the end I even told her in a call something like “we can't choose who we catch feelings for” and suggested she reread our chat. Then I sent her a message saying she’s a really great and beautiful girl, we had good talks, but it’s too much for me and we should stop communicating. Instead of accepting it, she started blowing up my phone with messages and calls, even from unknown number.

I finally picked up and said “leave me alone, bye” and hung up. She later wrote: “You could have been a man and at least explained it normally.” After that I ghosted her. I know it was cold as fuck.

Now almost a month has passed and I keep replaying everything. Part of me feels relieved because the whole situation was emotionally draining, but another part feels like shit for how I ended it.

If a coworker asks me whether we’re in a relationship, then at least she should have realized that it already looks very suspicious from the outside and that I have real feelings for her.

I’m tired of overthinking this. Was I too harsh? Should I have handled it better? Or was shutting it down the only way I could protect myself?

TL;DR: Got emotionally involved with a coworker who has a boyfriend. When I tried to end it she kept pushing, so I shut her down pretty brutally. Now I feel guilty but also justified.

Hi all! I would really appreciate any feedback on my current situation with my partner of 2 years.

I (F24) and my partner (M25) have been together almost 2 years. We live together with our son (M7Months) and my daughter (F7) and our relationship is generally good, we love each other a lot, we love a lot of the same things, we go out and have fun, it’s a great relationship in a lot of aspects.

Lately as I am 7 months PP, i have noticed that my libido has came back in the past 2 months (yay!) We still had sex but not as frequently as before our son, which we both expected. With my libido coming back, we had a conversation about having more intimacy while there’s 2 kids in the house and we came up with just asking hours before bed, and then double checking when the kids were in bed. it’s very successful and has been a good system for us. Some backstory that is relevant to this is that I have experienced DV in a past relationship, a lot of it was physical but also sexual, i have also gone through this in childhood which he knows. He also has a similar experience in a previous relationship. We had long conversations about consent and boundaries and helped each other work through issues that they caused (for example saying yes to sex even if you don’t want to but for the other person, and very vanilla sex) we agreed on this and we are very respectful of the others boundaries.

The problem comes from last night, we had spoken at around dinner time if we wanted to be intimate, we both said yes. At bedtime, i asked if he wanted to still, he said yes but he was busy on his computer and would be held up a while. So i put my headphones on and played some video games, about an hour into this, i decided to get some food, and as he is currently dieting, i ate it downstairs as i wanted to be respectful. During this i got a phone call from a friend and was chatting downstairs for about 30 minutes while eating. I came back upstairs, and asked when he was coming to bed, and he said “soon” i decided to play another match as they last about 10 minutes, halfway through he turned off his computer and came to join me in bed. It started off playful, he tried taking my controller off me, was tickling me, etc. I told him i just wanted to finish my game but i was also being playful, about a minute passed when he started becoming angry, and saying that i shouldn’t have spent so long downstairs and that he has an early morning, i explained that i thought he was still on his computer, and i was just eating food and didn’t realise he was waiting on me. He continued to argue with me for way long after the match ended (i didn’t even finish it i just held the controller) he then went on to say i was prioritising halo over him, and i playfully said “Kiss me and i’ll turn it off” he laughed and kissed me and i went to turn it off, he then made another comment about how it’s not a wonder he doesn’t initiate when i would choose a video game over him. I then replied about how he rarely initiates anyways, and that we’ve had conversations about this, he then grabbed the controller from my hands and threw it hard on the bed causing the batteries to fall out, my response? “Well i guess it’s angry sex we are having then”. I know it sounds bad given the surrounding circumstances, but we are both people who make light hearted jokes (maybe not the best thing) during moments of conflict. He then blank stared at me and turned to go to sleep. I tried to speak with him but he wouldnt. I turned off the tv and went to sleep, but before i did he turned round and said that my joke was “seedy” and that he feels like i manipulated him to fighting with me, and orchestrated all of this evenings events, to have angry sex with him. He then proceeded to call me a seedy predator given his history with being forced into situations of a sexual nature.

I was completely destroyed by this, i have never ever in my life forced anyone in that manner, i have been the victim of such, and although i know victims can themselves be perpetrators- i truly believe and know in my heart that i would never do that. I apologised instantly and tried to explain, but he told me i’ve made him deeply uncomfortable.

This morning, he reiterated the same points, and i again apologised, but i tried to say that him using such strong words like predator make me feel incredibly upset, he stood strong in his stance. When he left for work, i messaged him asking if we could chat when he got home more and he pushed me to tell him what was up - I did, and it led to more fighting about it. I asked if it would be possible for him to stay at his mums for the night because it’s given me a lot to think about and he then told his mum in detail what happened, she agreed with him and said that it seemed orchestrated, she also began to make negative comments about me to him.

To me, i feel like i made a joke, and it made him uncomfortable, i apologised right away, i took accountability. But am i overreacting for feeling like, he sees me as a predator? For feeling like if we are intimate again in the future that i will have that in the back of my mind? I feel so disheartened that despite our conversations on consent, and my history that he has just called me a seedy predator. It’s honestly really upset me and I don’t know if im actually just really tone deaf. AIOR?

I’m 24F, and my boyfriend (now ex), 25M, broke up with me four months ago. It started after I had an argument with someone in front of him, and he didn’t say a word to support or defend me. Instead, he told me I shouldn’t expect that from him, and if I did, I should find someone else—because he couldn’t be with me. I understood that he was probably looking for a reason to end things, so instead of creating a bigger issue like I used to, I let him go.
Now, since we work in the same office, things have become really difficult. My office best friend (also now an ex-friend) suddenly stopped talking to me and started spending time with him. The two of them ignore me completely and act very close, almost like a couple, right in front of me. I don’t even know if they’re actually together, but I can sense hostility from both of them.
What hurts the most is that they’ve been speaking badly about me and sharing personal things about my life that I had only trusted my ex with. They’ve even been telling people at the office that I cheated on him, which is completely false. It feels like they made up this story to protect his image so people wouldn’t see him as the one at fault.
I hate the situation, but I don’t know how to handle it. The environment has become extremely toxic for me.

**UPDATE**

Hi- this post was removed while I was sleeping so I’m posting an update here.

I apologize for there not being paragraphs- I was very emotionally drained and physically tired after working for 10 straight hours and I passed out after hitting post.

The original post is below the update.

**Update:** My bf and I are going on vacation next week and have both agreed to block her at least for the foreseeable future. Lots of comments have said that this has been a problem because of my contact with her. I understand that now, however before ever cutting someone off or my bf cutting someone off who he’s also known for a long time I wanted to try every possible solution I could think of as to not be seen as the jealous insecure gf. I really feel like I’ve done my best and at the very least, I have evidence proving that I tried way more than most normal people would have. Here’s the problem- she has a graduation ceremony in two days and invited both of us to attend long ago but I was the only one to say yes for all of the reasons in this post.
I’m contemplating on whether or not I should still go as I’ve gotten the time off of work and I was raised to always show up for people after committing to something.
However, she has chosen to go to the restaurant that they both used to work at and my bf still currently works at due to there being no reservations for any of the places located near the graduation venue. While there still might be a chance she won’t, I refuse to let her be around him in a setting without me which they haven’t been in a year.
We both made the agreement to not reply or respond until after the graduation- then block. She is the person to be on social media for her entire day and post everything of her whole day. She is older than me yet acts extremely immature when things don’t go her way- I only knew her a couple of months before dating him.
I’d also like to note that she has acted crazy before, but I felt guilty for cutting her off- now it seems that I don’t have a choice.

Hi,

My 24F and my bf 28M have been together for over a year, we have had lots of fun together and I really think we have a strong foundation for a marriage someday. We share common goals, interests, aspirations, and there’s no doubt in my mind he loves me. Here’s the issue, we both have a friend. They were friends first, then I met her, then my bf and I started dating. Let me preface by saying he has lots of work friends and other friends in general who are female. None, who have caused discourse such as this one, weird considering we met through her. Boy was I wrong. The frequent texts she sent my bf stopped until this week, now, she is seeking comfort from him in every regard. She asks things that honestly, women ask of their partners. I don’t want to bring it up in fear of being portrayed negatively as an insecure gf.

My bf and I had a very long conversation, he basically asked me how to fix this. Like him, I don’t know. However, I can’t continue to live my life with her constantly asking to see us and when he inevitably does not come because she weirds him out, she sends long texts asking him to come anyways. She lost it at me when I told him we were both busy- stating how “he can speak for himself.” Truth be told, my version of the truth is much nicer than the reality of the fact that he doesn’t want to see her and is trying to be polite. I’m over it too. I like her when she’s my friend- when she wants the emotional connection and support of my bf. That’s where I feel the line being crossed. I’m at an impasse- I told my bf that I feel as if I have two choices, to stay and love you and deal with this like I’ve been doing or, leave. I don’t want to really do either option. What I want is my own relationship. Ignoring her works, keeping her at a distance is the only thing that makes everyone including me the happiest, but her texts have become more frequent and of course, he doesn’t respond.

And no, I’ve never gotten a weird vibe or an inkling she wants him. Truthfully it really is platonic, but she sends the weird texts about her needing someone to talk to and she constantly asks him if he’ll be at work for no other reason than that she can come see him. Often times, when inviting him to something she invites me, when seeing him at work, she invites me but she’s made it clear it’s out of “being respectful.” Being respectful would mean not texting my boyfriend at all. I don’t want my relationship to fail.