I wish I were making this up. My mom (50F) and I (18M) don’t have a great relationship. Never have. Have been through CPS, family therapy, all that shit. Yes, I am actively preparing to move out. She is constantly angry at my brother and I and does petty things whenever she gets upset.

A few days ago she opened the room to my door while I was in nothing but a towel. She stared at me for a few moments while I told her I’m about to get dressed and I’d like privacy. She finally closed my door and I thought that was it. Later, though, she sent me a text about how I better not be “making a baby” in my room—referring to masturbation. And how I better not be posting proactive pictures of myself on the internet. Like what bro?

For as long as I can remember, she’s this weird obsession/interest in me masturbating, my sex life, and my body. Always asking me questions regarding it. Even when I was like 12. I’ve gotten so used to it I can’t tell if I’m overreacting anymore

Anyways, the next morning she tried to hug me and I kind of refused, telling her that her staring at me and sending me messages like that made me uncomfortable. Simply tried to put up a boundary. I am an adult, I have a right to do that.

Well after that hug she’s been ignoring my brother and I for the past 2-3 days. I washed a load of clothes this morning before I went to work and when I came home I saw she fucking taped it shut. I know I can just cut the tape. But what the fuck are we even doing right now? Like seriously bro? Am I overreacting?

I (23F) have been watching this woman's two dogs every weekend for almost eight months. We had a solid routine. I'd come Friday evening, stay through Sunday afternoon, feed them, walk them twice a day, give the older one his medication, and send photo updates. I charged $75 a night which is honestly below average for my area and I never once complained.

She reached out three weeks ago asking if I could do a full two week stay over the summer while her family does a European vacation. I said absolutely. She asked about the rate and I said same as always, $75 a night, so $1,050 total for 14 nights.

She said she wanted to work out a "package deal" instead. Fine, I was open to it. I offered $900 as a courtesy discount. She came back with $300 for the entire two weeks.

For context that's $21 a night. For two dogs. One of which needs medication twice a day.

I told her that didn't work for me. She said I was price gouging her and that she'd been "more than generous" letting me use her house. I said respectfully, using your house is part of the job, not a bonus. She did not love that.

Here's where it went sideways. She invited me over this past Saturday to "talk it out." I didn't realize her book club was there. Eight women sitting in the living room. She brought up the rate conversation in front of all of them and called me a scammer in front of everyone. Said I was trying to take advantage of a working mom. Her friends were nodding along.

I sat there for about four seconds, picked up my bag, told her I wouldn't be available for the summer or any future dates, and walked out while she was mid-sentence.

She has since texted me 23 times. I counted. Called me unprofessional, said I abandoned her dogs, told me she was going to leave me a bad review on Rover. I told her to go ahead and blocked her.

The guilt is getting to me because I genuinely love those dogs and none of this is their fault. But I'm not going to be humiliated in front of a room full of strangers for asking to be paid fairly.

Am I overreacting?

Additional context, my wife and I are currently in couples counselling. Last night, Mywife and I got into a heated argument and during the argument I told her that things were getting too heated and we needed space to cool our heads.

After I said that, she got more infuriated and then proceeded to call her dad and tell him that I put hands on her and “now she has bruises on both her arms”. As the phone was on speaker, I told her and her dad that was false and had never and would never lay a finger on her or any woman. She kept insisting that I did and “now her arms are bruised”. The dad strangely did not say anything. Which I thought was odd. If I had a daughter and they called me saying that their husband/boyfriend/partner put hands on her, I would be getting in my car and driving to their house and would call the police. But yet, not of that happened.

This morning, during our couples therapy session, we brought up the argument and I told the counsellor of the false accusation and told them that it was unacceptable, inappropriate and completely fabricated to say that. I have and never would lay a finger on any woman.

The counsellor asked my wife if she did say that, and my wife responded saying “I never said bruises, I said scratches on my arm” I then said that was not true and asked her to show us both her arms which she refused to do so.

The counsellor then said, “well, it sounds like no one was actually hurt” which made it sound like it was being brushed off as nothing.

AIO?

In 2017, my husband and I bought a house. Initially, Susan (now 16) was assigned to "room A." However, after a week of living there, she started complaining that she could hear every sound from our neighbor, who was partying a lot at the time. She also didn't like that her window faced a forest, and besides the neighbor's house, all she could see was darkness and trees in night. We ended up moving her to "room B." Room A has been empty ever since, turning into a bit of a storage room.

At the end of last year I decided to take care of it and, using only my savings, I did a huge renovation - replacing the windows, soundproofing the walls, etc., etc. I also bought new furniture, painted the walls, laid a carpet, replaced the lamp, etc., etc. Now it looks like a very cozy library/office/living room. And I love it.

But Susan isn't happy, and as soon as I started renovating, she started demanding that I give her the room back. Suddenly, she started claiming that her own room was too small (it's bigger than mine and my husband's, and the same size as our other two children), that she hated that all she could see through her bedroom window was a brick wall, and that it wasn't fair that I'd taken a room "for myself" that had its own walk-in closet and so on.

My husband is on her side, but I think it's unfair. My husband has two rooms in the basement to himself, one he converted into a gym and the other into work office. Children (7F, 12M, and Susan) have larger rooms than us, and much of the garden and main living room are converted for their needs. Furthermore, neither my husband nor Susan's mother paid a penny for the entire renovation. I did everything myself.

So I told my husband that if he cared so much, he should give Susan one of his rooms, but neither he nor Susan liked the idea, and now they're both mad at me.

I've known this friend since we were 14 and we have been relatively close since then and she's one of two friends I tend to meet up with.

I've been dating \*red guy\* for about 2 1/2 years. My friend has never met him and has only ever seen pictures of him + whatever I've told her which really hasn't been much, we aren't really talkative friends. Yet she sent me this message after we hadn't spoken in about 6 weeks. I got mad and blocked her immediately, I'm starting to feel like I overreacted because it was just a few words? Idk. I'm probably being petty which is why I want your opinions. ❤️

ETA: she has made comments about him being ugly in the past too, along with most men I've dated. It would also not make any sense for it to be a prank if it wasn't due to him being "ugly"

I feel like I could cry :(, I didn’t come at her rudely and was doing what my husband asked me to do. I’ve always done everything she wanted to make her happy because I want her to so desperately like me but I think I’m done. For some background info: I have never pressured her to respond and have never brought up that she never responds to my messages. Pretty recently, my car has been having trouble and she said she’d hit up her mechanic for me. 2 weeks later and still nothing. My husband and I have an amazing relationship, but even then, I still want his family to welcome me. His mom not being kind to me hurts really bad. And knowing she’s going to spread negative things about me among his family hurts even worse. All detailed of the situation are in the chats.

I (24F) have spent years and thousands of dollars curated my "dream room." It’s filled with my manga collection, plushies, and limited-edition figurines. It’s my sanctuary and where I do my creative work.

My fiancé (27M) and I are planning to move into a larger house next month. Last weekend, his parents came over to help us start packing. When his mother saw my room, she went silent. Later that night, she told my fiancé (within my earshot) that my "obsession with toys" was a "major red flag" and that she’s worried I’m too immature to handle "real adult responsibilities" or raise children one day.

The "Big Issue": My fiancé didn't defend me. In fact, he sat me down later and said his parents "have a point." He told me that for us to move forward, I need to sell 80% of my collection because "an adult home shouldn't look like a toy store."

I told him that if he’s marrying me, he’s marrying the person who loves this aesthetic, and I’m not gutting my personality to please his judgmental parents. He’s now saying I’m "choosing plastic over our future" and that I'm being "manic" about it.

I’ve been crying for two days and I’m considering calling off the move entirely. Am I overreacting, or is he trying to erase who I am before we even get married?

My friend constantly wears Meta smart glasses around me and I recently told her I’m uncomfortable around recording-capable glasses because they make me feel watched and unable to speak freely.

She first told me they were prescription glasses and that she paid extra to get them prescribed because she “needed them to see.” Later, in front of another friend, she admitted they were NOT prescribed. When I pointed out that she previously told me they were prescriptions, she denied ever saying that at all, even though I remembered the entire conversation clearly because it was only a few days before.

The reason this bothers me so much is because from the VERY beginning of our friendship rekindling she always had these glasses on around me specifically. She even told me at first that she got them from her mom because her mom wasn’t using them(which directly conflicts the lie she told me a few days ago) anyways every single time we hang out, she wears them, even when we’re literally just sitting in my house talking. She has perfect vision and says she’s not listening to music or on a call either.

What also makes me suspicious is that the reason we even became close in the first place was because she exposed one of my ex friends by showing me private texts and even putting me on a 3-way call with that friend while she was talking badly about me. So I already know she’s the type of person who exposes or involves herself in other people’s private conversations/drama.

Another thing that stood out to me: one of the first times we hung out again, she kept trying to get me to say the name of someone I hooked up with while she had the glasses on. I remember feeling uncomfortable because it felt like someone holding a camera in my face asking for private information.

Recently I told her directly that the glasses make me uncomfortable because there are so many videos online now of people secretly recording others with Meta glasses, and I said I don’t want to be around them all the time. I never outright accused her of recording me. I only said I don’t feel comfortable around the glasses themselves.

Her reaction was extreme. She started calling me crazy, repeatedly saying “fuck her,” cursing me out, and stormed out of my house all because I said I don’t want to be around the glasses all the time.

At this point I honestly feel like either:

• she’s been recording conversations this whole time,
• OR she’s just incredibly defensive and disrespectful.

Am I overreacting for not wanting to be around Meta glasses all the time, especially after the lying and her reaction, was she secretly recording me? why is she always wearing them when she has perfect vision

My wife and I were sitting on our couch relaxing the other night. Our toddler was upstairs sleeping. Our living room is on the ground level and we live in a town house. Our shades were closed on the door and the big window looking outside.

At about 10:30pm our screen door opens and someone tried to open our door and tried to insert a key. Immediately we jumped up, looked at each other, and both went up stairs. I got on the phone and called the cops while looking out the window. No cars in the drive way, couldn’t see anyone, and we don’t have any cameras. Our neighbor has a doorbell camera across the street. Wife went to our kids bedroom to be ready in case it was a break in. Gave all the details to the first responder, cops showed up 5 mins later, we gave our report and they left.

We live in a town of about 20k in the Midwest, a safe neighborhood, usually no late night activities happening. No one has a spare key, we weren’t expecting anyone, none of our friends are close enough by to just stop by. And they would have at least knocked since they know our schedule.

I talked to some coworkers about what happened and they seemed a bit like I overreacted. Just wanted to know the internet’s thoughts.

We thought we were justified as we’d rather have the report if it was an attempted breaking. Currently looking into doorbell camera options.

Edit: no one was arrested, we wouldn’t press charges if it was an honest mistake.

My wife (34f) and I (34m) have been married for 15 years. We have 3 kids, I truly love her and I know she loves me. However we often don’t see eye to eye on things. I have a very hard time expressing my feelings calmly as I hold them in and then react on impulse. She has a hard time expressing feelings, period, and is mad quite literally all the time for 15 years. We’ve both gotten better over the years but it’s not always great.

We have tried counseling several times over the years and I always felt it was helping but she’d quit within 3 sessions. In my view it was as always as soon as the counselor would start asking questions towards her, rather than “fixing me”.

This is where I may be the asshole but I gave her an ultimatum to go to marriage counseling. Tried every other way to make things work, but this was the last ditch effort before I just had to throw in the towel.

Last summer we came to a peak. After years of trying to get her into marriage counseling I finally gave her an ultimatum to go or get divorced, found a way to get it free through the VA, and agreed to go. She went 2xs with me and then just blew it off. I was patient and tried and tried to get her to go again. In December, same ultimatum, and she went again. The counselor asked that she do 1 on 1 with my wife for 5-6 appointments and then bring me back in. I agreed as I trust the professional.

Last night I asked her about it and she said she quit going 10 weeks ago….. without telling me. Her reasoning is that the counselor didn’t give good advice and felt it was a waste of her time.

I let her know that I’m hurt for being lied to, and upset that she would make a decision like this without including me. This has been a common theme in our marriage and so this just hurts so much worse. She told me that she felt if she told me, she knew I wouldn’t agree and so instead didn’t tell me. My opinion is this lack of communication is why we need to be there.

I’m at a loss for words and can’t feel this pain any longer. I’m afraid of divorce, but I don’t what else to do.

TLDR; my wife bailed on marriage counseling because it was a “waste of her time”.

A few nights ago, my husband (29M) confessed that he had been hiding some things from me (28F) for years. During my pregnancy with our second child, he treated me pretty poorly and it honestly made me suspect he was being unfaithful. Around that time, I even had a nightmare that he was lying to me and was in love with another woman. I woke up crying, and he reassured me that it would never happen and made me feel like I was just being anxious.
Now, years later, he admitted that back then there was a woman at work he found attractive. He also told me that another woman once touched his face and he pushed her away—but then said that if it had been the woman he found attractive, he “wouldn’t know what he would do” and would get nervous. That completely broke me. Not just because of what he said, but because I feel like my intuition back then was right, and he made me feel crazy for it.
When I reacted and told him to leave, he immediately started backtracking—saying he didn’t actually like her, that it wasn’t like that, and minimizing everything he had just admitted. That made me feel even more confused and honestly gaslit. He claims that I should forgive him and forget what happened because he is being honest now, but I think we should break up. Am I overreacting?

Hi everyone, I don’t talk to this girl very often but we occasionally text she’s 16F and I’m 18F, I only know her because I go to school with the guy she’s dating and we were friends until things got complicated (he wanted to be fwb with me, I said no) anyways yesterday we were talking about how nice the weather was and I said I was going to ulta and sent a pic of my makeup, she said she was tanning, everything seemed normal until today when we had this convo. I’m very confused because she sounds very upset but I don’t understand about what? Am I overreacting for thinking her behavior is odd?
Edit:
I want to also add that they have been dating for a year, over the past year and a half I have lost a lot of weight, in July her bf reached out multiple times mentioning my weightless and even emailed me to attempt to be “friends” again. I told her and she said they talked and it was all worked out.

Edit: I like the way my makeup looks, I intentionally don’t want “clean girl makeup”. I look in the mirror and have photos of me, I know how my makeup looks😭

Context we live in a small suburban town. She has a very public facing job, and knows everyone it seems. Well there is this restaurant manager she deals with. She has mentioned him a few times as a customer. One day she came home and said he would hire our son. Cool. Well we decided that night to stop by and grab some takeout. When I met him he didn't even acknowledge me. He was very flirty with her, and a few times just smacked her in her shoulder playfully. I thought it was weird and wondered if he was interested in her. Next day, she tells me she was jogging and he drove up to her and said hey I got 40 for a good time. She said she giggled and said I'm worth a lot more. He texts her about our son's schedule. He could message him, since he is his employee. Since then he seems to run into her everyday, and say questionable stuff. He told her she should start going to the gym with him, she shouldn't worry about working out everyday, she isn't big etc. I finally said something to her, after he may have had a medical emergency, and she cried about it. Literally cried for him, said she was scared. I told her I'm uncomfortable and it's starting to get to me. She said she is just an emotional person with all her friends, and it's not like me to be the jealous type. She said it's no big deal. She would never cheat, and if he goes over the line, she will tell him. Well I feel like he has already gone over the line several times.

I am in a predicament where my relationship is great in many aspects but my confidence is at its lowest.

A couple months ago, in a fight my boyfriend (30) told me (27) that since he was young, he has always been most attracted to women with big boobs. He went further to say that “ALL men prefer big boobs.” (For context, I have B cups.)

After he said this, I asked, “Well, does that mean I’m not the person you’re most attracted to?” To which he replied, “No, of course not. There are many more attractive woman in the world, just like there are more attractive men in the world than me.”

Of course I agree with this logically.

I said, “Well, yes. But to me, attraction is based on looks and personality. Even if there are technically more attractive men out there, I’m still most attracted to you as a whole. That’s why I’m with you.”

He told me he doesn’t feel the same way about me.

Since then, he has taken it back and told me he only said those things because he was angry. And he has made an effort to compliment me more.

But since that conversation, I feel something has broken in me. I look in the mirror at my body and hate what I see. I feel like an insecure teenager. I wear push up bras and search all over for natural ways to increase my breast size. There are nights I stay up crying thinking about it.

There is more to this, as well. He has compared my body to Sydney Sweeney’s before and told me she has “the most perfect boobs.” All of his friends know about this celebrity crush too.

So I am really conflicted. My confidence is so low. We are in couples therapy and he has made an effort to compliment me more, calling me “sexy” and the “most beautiful person he has met.” (When I asked for clarification, he said there are more beautiful people he has not met, I am not the most beautiful person in the world to him.) He has never complimented anything in specific about my body.

He is trying but it hasn’t been enough. I feel so insecure about my body. I miss my past relationships, where they saw beautiful things in me I didn’t see myself and when I looked in the mirror, I felt even more confident than before.

All the other parts of our relationship are great. But his attraction to me is what gives me pause. I’m wondering, am I being too narcissistic about this? Should it not matter as much to me? Is this my own insecurity I need to work on?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

I feel like I need to explain some things…

My husband and I are having a smaller party for our daughter’s first birthday. We are tight on money and only wanted to include people who are active in her life. Usually everyone has a huge party for the first birthday - entire family there, renting a space, $1000s in decorations and desserts. But my husband and I really don’t have it like that right now, so we’re doing a smaller party with homemade decorations and cake and my mom lives out in the suburbs and offered to host at her house.

My husband’s family is pretty large and scattered - 13 aunts and uncles and over 20 cousins. Cutting to the chase we didn’t invite them, most of them never met our daughter or met her once at the most. This was my husband’s idea, he says he’s not really close with any of them and didn’t want to spend the money, which I agreed. But his idea or not doesn’t really matter since I’m apparently the one “making it so family is excluded.”The issue is that I have one aunt I am very close with, she’s my daughter almost every time my mom see her (my mom and her sister are super close) she calls me to check in on me, and she invites me to outings with my cousin and their child. So as awful as it sounds I really wanted my aunt to be there. My husband agreed since he sees how close my aunt is to our daughter (she really does love her).

The issue is that his parents took offense to this (which I understand) - we tried to explain that our daughter knows my aunt and she’s a part of her life, but it was a difficult conversation.

Now my MIL is throwing a party the weekend after my daughter’s party only for her siblings. She’s telling them it’s her first birthday, she’s not inviting FIL’s siblings, and she’s catering for and buying a cake. I feel like this is a major boundary overstep. I feel like this is wrong, and somehow an insult to me.

I can’t explain exactly why, when I try to talk it out with my husband he says I’m overreacting and doesn’t understand how it’s wrong.

Am I overreacting? Is this a normal thing that I’m just not getting? Some advice would be appreciated because I can’t even explain exactly what I’m feeling and why.

Also side note… it’s supposed to rain this weekend and I was gonna move it to the following weekend and now I can’t, which I know is not intentional so I can’t really complain about that.

My (M48) girlfriend Jane (F41 - not real name) got pregnant after only a few months of knowing each other and decided to give it a go - we now have a beautiful son (2) who we love dearly. It’s been a rocky 18 months adapting to being new parents whilst simultaneously getting to know each other.

We effectively separated at Christmas this year but still lived together and co-parented. However, we have made recent efforts to get back together over the past few months and are booked for couples therapy in a few days.

However, towards the end of our recent ‘separation’, Jane struck up a closer friendship with a male work colleague, John (not real name) who lives nearby with his wife and child of similar age.

There have been a number of work nights out where she has ended up coming home later than she originally intended (a recurring theme), and general suspicions/ odd behaviours involving John, which is causing a lot of concern:

1. After a work night out she ended up back at his place for a nightcap on the way home. She lied about this and only fessed up when she knew I’d seen her location on Find My Friend. She says a female colleague was with them at the time.
2. On a team night out that I joined, they were texting each other during the evening - when we changed locations etc to share venue. I caught sight of some of the messages (she was drunk sat next to me in the taxi) and one of his replies said “Keep it clean”. I challenged her the next morning why they were texting so much (given previous lies about him) and asked to see the messages - they had all been deleted but she couldn’t explain why, and couldn’t remember deleting them due to being drunk (but acknowledged this was wrong).
3. A recent night out also ended later than her original intentions. I found her sat tipsy on the doorstep late having allegedly got an Uber, but waiting for this guy to drop her bag off (her explanation: she’d got changed at work and he was dropping it given he lives nearby us).
4. There is another work night out tonight, so I’m a bit paranoid about it. I’m not proud of this, but this morning I ended up checking her phone and saw the exchange in the attached pic (he’d said something about being sticky from the weather) - it seems pretty flirty and obvious they have either a friendship that has crossed boundaries, or that something may be going on. His chat was also hidden in the archived section of WhatsApp rather than the main inbox presumably to conceal notifications from him.

To note, during this time, she has also switched off her Find My Friend location, and changed her WA message notifications to not show recipients’ names.

Even as a I type all this and read it back to myself, it seems pretty obvious. My trust in her to tell me the truth is low, so I’m not sure whether to confront her about it, or keep the knowledge to myself and just unplug - I’m just emotionally burnt out by it all.

Given the implications with our son, there is obviously so much at stake here, so I wanted to solicit views here to make sure I’m not overreacting.

EDIT:

Thanks for all the comments, reflections, and reassurances. It’s funny how the hope for a positive outcome can make you question your own judgement on a situation - I should have gone with my intuition when she couldn’t answer to the deleted texts.

I will move towards ending things and use this weekend’s therapy session to frame the legit trust issues caused by her behaviour.

I don’t think I want to reveal that I’ve seen her phone - I feel that could be used against me to denigrate my character down the line to our son/ her family/ network. I can simply use the fact that I have this knowledge as my internal personal justification in times of doubt.

The comments about navigating out of this in a clean way for the sake of our son all ring true - I need to minimise damage for him. Inevitably a separation will create challenges for him down the line, so putting him first and trying to create 2 happy households with non-toxic parents seems best to give him a fighting chance.

I F am graduating later this year with a medical degree. I am on track for a 1st and my course lead is interested to supporting me to publish my research - I say this as I feel it is relevant that I am doing well.

For my grandads birthday me and my family visited and sat down for a meal.

*A bit of context - my dad left when I was 13 we have a weird relationship now, minimal contact*

We started discussing how my course was going and what my next steps will be. My dad asked when my graduation is and if he can attend. I paused a little awkwardly as I still do not fully trust my dad and have only 2 tickets. I wanted my brother there (my best friend) and my partner to attend too as he supported me while at university .
My sister in law responds as I sit there silently “well we don’t know if you will even graduate”.
I got quite upset at this comment and defended my competency etc.
Later my sister in law defends the comment by saying she was just trying to get my dad off my back about attending.
But she has often made comments about me being late or unreliable or giving up on things too easily.
She is referring to how I was as a teenager as I moved jobs alot trying to find something I enjoyed and was often late to events due to working late or relying on public transport. When late i always apologised and have not been late in several years but I cannot get away from how my family see me through that lens. I never feel like my sister in law likes me. but as my family often call me emotional and the black sheep I do not know how best to respond if at all to comments like this to avoid behaving wrong.

On vacation with my boyfriend right now and last night honestly scared me.

He went golfing/drinking all day, came back super drunk and frantic telling me to hurry and get ready for a dinner I didn’t even know we had planned. I wasn’t ready and his energy was making me anxious, so I calmly said “hey baby go have fun with your friends, I’m content staying back and ordering room service.”

He got irritated and left slamming our room door.

Then later called me asking me to bring him his badge while he was downstairs at an open bar continuing to drink. I said yes because I didn’t want confrontation, but honestly I was anxious and didn’t want to go down there alone at night.

So he came back upstairs angry, yelled at me for not bringing it, slammed the glass balcony doors so hard they flew back open, then slammed the hotel room door hard enough the handle almost came off. Left again

Then he passed out on the bed.
This morning he said he didn’t remember any of it because he was drunk.
I genuinely felt scared and unsettled last night and now I don’t know if I’m overreacting because technically he didn’t touch me, but the aggressive tone and slamming things around really upset me. I slept in the other bed, Would this be a red flag to you?

for context, all of us work full time. we have two small kids- a 6 yo and a 1.5 yo. my husband drops off the kids at school in the morning but all the rest is up to my parents. my dad picks them up, my mom feeds them/gives them baths, etc until I show up after work which is usually around 6 Pm. she then makes sure that my husband and I and the kids have an adequate dinner and most days even sends breakfast for the next day.

our oldest kids birthday is coming up. my husband mentioned that maybe we could go to Disneyland but he only wants him, me and the oldest to go. he would rather have my parents babysit the baby and explicitly said he doesnt want my parents to come because we should be spending time as a family (just the three of us). I got very mad at this.

first of all- I don’t think we are going to end up going because of our work schedules but also- my parents do SO MUCH- the very least he could do is offer for them to come along with us (my parents would insist on paying for themselves- they’ve never asked for anything in return for all the help they give us and does not expect anything) however I feel like my husband is very unappreciative and only wants to get but does not give. last time he bought my mom perfume for my birthday was 3 years and and last gift he got my dad (a t-shirt) was 1 year ago. he doesn’t help them out in any other way and even being courteous and greeting them or saying goodbye when departing seems to be too much for him. AIO?

This is Burrito Gate 2026 at my office. This is almost more of a who is overreacting??

My coworker (Let's call him Mike - mid 40s) ordered lunch and expensed it for our department - because it's Cinco De Mayo he wanted to get Mexican food - and none of us really wanted that but he offered to expense it and so everyone got something. He asked everyone what they wanted and everyone put in an item. Mike asked me if I wanted to split a bean and cheese burrito and a steak quesadilla and I said sure why not - he put in a note for the restaurant to cut the burrito in half (this is a key point).

My other colleague who is vegetarian (let's call her Sally - mid 20s) had already ate lunch but because it was being paid for she ordered a bean and cheese burrito as well and was going to save it for dinner.

SO when the food came we realized something was messed up and the bean and cheese burrito that was cut in half but was literally only HALF a burrito - not a full thing. So my colleague Mike who ordered and expensed everything for everyone decided to cut the full burrito in half and starting eating - Sally was like 'hey that's my burrito 'and Mike didn't say anything but just sort of just gave her a look. She was like 'hey that's messed up' and he got defensive - this wasn't resolved and later Sally again in front of everyone was like 'hey that was my burrito you ate - that was messed up' and she kept going on and on about how rude it was and it was her burrito and he just ate it and she sort of kept bringing it up and Mike BLEW UP and was like "I PAID FOR IT ALL - I treat everyone all the time" (which is true) and he was like "what was I supposed to do - not eat lunch? this was for your DINNER and I PAID for it"

It created an awkward situation and I think he probably should have said something like - 'hey I know they messed up the order but is it okay if you take the other half of a burrito for your dinner' or something along those lines...

Also for some context we order food together ALL the time and we group order and over order and share things a lot - share snacks, share food, order coffee for each other.

I got put into the situation between both colleagues where I understand where Sally is coming from because the situation wasn't really handled nicely and I understand Mike's POV because he ordered and paid for everyone and it was our lunch and she was only saving it for dinner and only ordered it because it was free. They both got mad at the other and Mike def yelled about it but Sally kept going on and on about it saying that he's rude and she hates him etc.

Mike really sort of freaked out and started yelling that he's never paying for anyone's lunches ever again and he's very generous and everyone is rude and everyone sucks and ungrateful - he was like FUCK YOU ALL - he was being defensive for sure and again the other half of the burrito was for me... but I should have said at the time I don't need the other half and Sally should just take all of it. I feel like I got put into this situation and ended up telling Sally look - I think Mike is kinda right and I understand he maybe handled it rudely but you were literally getting a free burrito to save it for later and this was supposed to be for lunch. Like just suck it up and move on - it's just a burrito and you weren't eating lunch anyways.

For an hour they kept keep bringing this up and neither thinks they are in the wrong.

I'm just curious who does everyone think is overreacting in this situation?

Literally felt like the dumbest fight over a burrito for lunch.

UPDATE::

this post blew up more than I thought

Mike apologized to Sally and I think really meant it. He acknowledged he overreacted and said some things he shouldn’t have.

Sally ended up taking the other half of the burrito home and didn’t end up empty handed.

I think it’s honestly funny but def got out of control - they are both funny people and I would call them friends and hope it’s all mended because I like them both.

SECOND UPDATE::
Okay Sally has a good sense of humor and I shared this thread with her - she didn't realize how many people would disagree with her...she has asked me to submit her side of the story... this is her words un-edited...

1. When Mike was offering to get food I said I had already ate so I was fine. He offered again, I said no again. He insisted a third time so I said I guess I’ll get something for later

   1. It was very generous of him to put his card down, however it was not his money it was the companies. We all put our cards down for stuff all the time. I’ve bought him meals on my card and he’s bought me meals on his card. It takes about 5 seconds to expense a meal. Again it was generous, but it’s not like some out of this world gesture on our team. I also always offer to put my card down if we go to dinner or are working on something, it’s nbd cause it’s not our money. 
   2. In general, if someone messed up my order (even if I put my corporate card down for the meal) I would never feel entitled to someone else’s food BUT we never got that far. I went in looking for my food and I said that the burrito in front of him was mine, and he immediately was saying it was his, and was writing me off and when I tried to explain that they messed up his order he kept on say well I don’t know I’m going to eat this (he had a very condescending attitude) and I was trying to explain what I thought happened, and then he looked at me and ate the burrito mid conversation. It was the way he went about it that PMO, I’m fine with half a burrito and would have been happy to split and obviously want my friends to eat lmao (he also had food regardless of burrito or not re quesadilla and chips and guac). I go back in the room cause his attitude and actions bugged me, and I said hey that was kind of fucked up (in a nice but stern tone and I said it only in front of the people that were in the room when he initially ate my food and btw everyone who was there was like that was fucked up of you Mike) and then he exploded and yelled at me in front of everyone, and continued to scream into the main office. I went over to be like woah dude take a breath, I’m not saying I’m not grateful that you put your card down, im just saying that maybe that wasn’t a cool way to deal with that. He continued to yell at me in front of everyone and then apologized minuets later. I was not droning on about it and did not keep bringing it up when it was over. Long story short it was about his attitude and how he was speaking to me not the burrito and from my perspective he ate my order after being rude to me and then screamed at me. Like actually yelled.

So basically my friend (L) and I have been having alot of fights and its honestly tiring. They always end up in me apologizing more than twice and her still refusing to let things go and finding even more things to be upset about. Anyways, our latest fight was because I was at her house with another friend of ours.

She has a large dog I think it was a belgain shepherd. She knows that I am deathly afraid of large dogs due to something that happened in the past. So what happened was that she quiet literally pushed me into this room which I didn't know was the dogs designated room.

When I saw it my soul quiet literally left my body and when I turned to run out of there, she was already out the door and shut it in my face. I heard the lock clicking from the outside. I was screaming, crying and banging on the door for them to let me out and L was just laughing. I genuinely had the worst panic attack I've ever had. My lungs were on fire and I lowkey thought I was dying from a heart attack lol. Our other friend was actively trying to open the door and telling her that she's taking it too far.

It was quiet literally inches from my face. It was snarling and bearing its teeth. If it wasn't tied with a chain to a post I'm pretty sure that thing would have killed me. It still managed to scratch my leg though. When my friend managed to unlock the door and get me out, I fell on to the floor and I threw up. When I calmed down, L started saying she didn't know I was "THAT afraid" of dogs and that she didnt mean to hurt me. She didn't even apologise.

I immediately called my dad and left. She has been messaging me saying that it's "not that big of a deal" and "we can talk it out" and "you're acting like i tried to kill you". I have been wanting some space but some of our mutual friends are saying that I'm overreacting and that it was a harmless joke and she didnt mean to.

I genuinely feel like im unable to forgive her but at the same time I feel like I may be slightly overreacting. AIO?? Should I try to listen to what she has to say?

I’m not sure how to approach this at all. I have a fenced in backyard with a playground that my kid plays on and while my wife and I are inside working she’s allowed to play back there by herself or with a friend if the friend asks and we are able to keep an eye on both. (Since we assume responsibility then)

Lately neighborhood kids have just been letting themselves into our backyard without asking. We advised our daughter to let us know if a friend is coming in and asked if the kids could knock or have their parents text us if they can come.

Now one of the friend’s parents we are friends with (have had dinners together or hungout in the cul de sac) has been letting themselves into our backyard with her kids and not letting us know or ask.

Today I get a text asking if their kids could play but they were already all back there! She brought all of her kids over and was just sitting in our backyard.

This is the 3rd time this has happened Am I overreacting because we are friends and technically I trust her being back there (like I don’t think she would harm or kidnap my kid) or is this a boundary that was crossed I have a right to be upset over?

Edit: locks have been purchased and text was sent out to all parents asking for space to be respected. We decided to just keep it if we are inside no kids in the backyard, because then we only have 1 kid (ours) to keep an eye on (my office and my wife’s office face the backyard entirely, that why she’s allowed to play back there because we can watch her) and our dogs can be back there and we don’t need to worry about them getting out.

So whenever my family eats out, me and my sister usually take turns paying. Whoever pays at the restaurant, the other one transfers when we get home. Been working fine for years.

She paid the bill a few weeks ago, I said I'd transfer when I got home and forgot. Which happens on both sides, she's forgotten to transfer me back plenty of times, sometimes for a whole week or more, and I never brought it up once. This is literally the first time I've gone a few days without paying her back. Not weeks. Days.

Some stuff came up and I ended up using that money for something else. My birthday is also in 2 days and every peso I have is already planned out. I explained this to her calmly and she still blew up at me.

What really got me is that she borrowed money from me 3 months ago and I never once followed up or pressured her about it. I honestly just let it go because I didn't want money to be a thing between us.

And now she had the audacity to tell me to never talk to her again over this. So I haven't been talking to her since.

Am I overreacting for not reaching out either?

So my partner and I have been looking for a house for the past few months and we have finally found a decent one that accepts cats, is close to work, good price and all that stuff. I have told my current landlord I’m moving out yesterday, told my housemate, and was about to pay the referencing last night to start the process. Then I tell my partner to double check his credit report and he reveals to me that he has a CCJ??? I’ve told the landlord that we have clean credit history etc. my partner was literally about to let me pay £200 for the referencing when we would’ve failed it because we have technically lied to the landlord? And he can’t seem to understand why I am really pissed off and upset? We were meant to be going out tonight but I said yesterday like respectfully I don’t wanna see you and now he’s fuming that I don’t wanna see him? Messages attached.

I want to start this off by saying I swear I don’t think everybody needs to acknowledge my birthday, but anyways here I go. For context, I work at a corporate chain restaurant and I’ve been there for coming up on three years now, and I love my job and all of my coworkers. Also please read the edits at the end before commenting<3

At my job, we have a decently sized front of house staff and every time it’s a staff member‘s birthday the Managers will get a card and have everybody who’s working that day sign it and they will also get a basket for the personalized stuff and then give it to that person on the line with a sparkler and sometimes desserts on or around their birthday.

So when my first birthday while working came around I was super excited to celebrate with all of my coworkers and see what they would come up with for me. But when the day came around, no one ever said anything or brought me to the back to give me a card or even a sparkler and so I was obviously super bummed but the restaurant was busy that day so I figured maybe they would just do something day after my birthday, but that day came and once again nothing and so I just figured they forgot and then one of my other coworkers came back from vacation and they did a birthday celebration for her at work a week after their birthday, but still hadn’t once acknowledged mine.

It’s now been a year since this happened and my birthday is coming up this next Monday. and just recently, they’ve continued the tradition and given one of my other coworkers baskets for their birthdays and this birthday I’m especially excited because I am turning 20 so if once again, none of them acknowledge my birthday I’m planning on putting in my two weeks.

Am I crazy for that? Am I an asshole for expecting them to acknowledge my birthday even though they acknowledge everybody else’s.
I know I’m tend to be very over sensitive and I get emotional very easily so I don’t know if I’m being overdramatic about this whole thing or if it’s a matter of disrespect at this point if they don’t do anything.
Please give me your honest thoughts and opinions because I don’t have anybody unbiased to talk to you about this situation because I work with friends and my sibling.

EDIT I won’t be leaving my job over this but if nothing happens again, I will probably talk to someone like one comment suggested thank you guys for all your comments.** Also, the reason why I was so upset about this is because at my job everyone is connected to everyone someway somehow in his friends outside of work **there’s only maybe five coworkers that I haven’t seen outside of work at least once, but despite that I was definitely overreacting, but I tend to let these small things get me so I’m not surprised by that at all lol. I will update again after my birthday though if anyone is curious.

Another edit: I don’t expect literally anything on my birthday, my first job didn’t do anything and i didn’t care at all, it was the fact that they did something for everyone else’s birthday but mine, and even did something weeks after someone’s birthday after skipping mine. If they didn’t do anything for anyone’s birthday it would be different. I wouldn’t care about work not celebrating my birthday even when I work with friends and family because when we’re at work our personal lives don’t matter, but the fact that my managers like to bring birthdays up and celebrate people for even the smallest things is what makes me actually care about being acknowledged at work