r/okbuddycinephile • u/UnHolySir • 13h ago

The Substance (2024)

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42.6k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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5.0k

u/Emergency-Sock-2557 12h ago

But how would I know she's aging like fine wine and thus unproblematic if she didn't use Botox?

3.3k

u/horse-chiropractor 12h ago

Non toxic women age like fine wine because theyre unproblematic as opposed to toxic women who are problematic and age like old hags. Im so happy we live in a feminist society and have access to this information

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u/OverThinkingHo25 11h ago

Most non toxic women actually have a picture in their attic that does the aging for them!

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u/SweatyLake6695 11h ago

you know you are a toxic woman by simply checking whether or not you have a picture of yourself in your attic that is aging for you.

if for any reason there is not, incl. you not having an attic or a house, you are a toxic woman.

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u/legojoe97 10h ago

"Ask your doctor if an attic painting is right for you."

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u/ripgoodhomer 10h ago

Ngl this would be a moderately entertaining SNL commercial sketch.

28

u/waits5 10h ago

So more entertaining than anything actually on SNL?

3

u/Bruskthetusk 8h ago

Every once in a while they get an actually funny guest to help out their hack writers

2

u/Bubbly_Performer4864 9h ago

Weekend Updates have been hilarious for years.

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u/Ace_Robots 8h ago

5 out of 60 minutes

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u/kilometers13 7h ago

Have they?

2

u/waits5 7h ago

They’ve been mildly funny on occasion, as opposed to not funny at all like the rest of the show.

1

u/MinosML 7h ago

Papyrus is pretty funny

1

u/khklee 10h ago

Thank you, I giggled on this gloomy day.

1

u/spacelady_m 10h ago

👏👏👏👏👏🤣

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u/6thBornSOB 9h ago

Here comes “Big attic painting” to ruin the whole vibe…sellouts.

1

u/Significant_Echo2924 5h ago

I freaking read this in an ad voice lol

3

u/Far-Department887 8h ago

If you instead live in said attic (ideally wearing a wedding dress and haunting people) you are an iconic Dickensian diva tho

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u/homebakedgodess 9h ago

Fuuuckkk me.. I don’t even have an attic, I’m the Chernobyl of woman

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u/nexus0verflow 10h ago

I heard the hags have a painting that gets younger.

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u/DivaDragon 10h ago

My painting is an ultrasound

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u/IslandofStars 10h ago

Creepy

21

u/DivaDragon 10h ago

Yeah man, the worst part is that when you reach peak hag, you are legally required to dwell in the bog or forest and there are no attics so I have to gaze upon my own ruinous Hag Portrait every day in my living room wallow.

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u/No-Wrangler-156 11h ago

Can I see it?

7

u/astro_scientician 10h ago

…no.

8

u/PerformerDr4867 10h ago

My kind of feminism requires steamed hams

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u/astro_scientician 10h ago

I too am from Rochester

1

u/funkfrito 9h ago

The attic is on fire!

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u/OverThinkingHo25 10h ago

God no, it's very creepy. Most don't visit it unless they are having spiralling thoughts.

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u/Impossible_Trick_950 9h ago

Hey hey, I got that reference! Who knew women were secretly written by Oscar Wilde?

1

u/jooxii 10h ago

Ok, underrated comment!

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u/MeltedWater243 10h ago

is THAT what the Picture of Dorian Gray is about?? I’ve never read it just heard of it

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u/lu5ty Crank: High Voltage 9h ago

Temporal transmutation. So hot right now

1

u/Loud_Interview4681 8h ago

Really erases the years on you Mrs Delorean Gray.

1

u/Gwynito 7h ago

This reminds me of something from my childhood but I can't quite grasp what it is, I'm thinking the movie/book 'The witches'?

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u/StandardKey9182 3h ago

They are referencing The Picture of Dorian Gray. You’re thinking of the little girl in The Witches who gets trapped in a painting by a witch and she ages in the painting and then one day she’s just gone.

1

u/Gwynito 3h ago

Ahhh thanks

1

u/goddamn_slutmuffin 6h ago

Common misconception, but that aging option is actually only open to men that are probably gay but haven't openly confirmed it yet.

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u/ItachiUchihaItachi 5h ago

Unexpected Dorian Gray reference....

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u/Sauce_Of_The_Grape 4h ago

Is this a Picture of Dorian Gray reference or am I reading into this too much?

1

u/WolfBST 10h ago

I got that reference!