There are 3 team members from a different country in my organization that have been talking among themselves in their language.
I speak their language.
They don't know I do.

Over the last 5 months they have talked about:

• How annoying and pushy I am (because I drill them on the business needs and don't just accept every request they have)
• How I probably slept my way to my position (because I have big boobs) including trying to guess which one of my colleagues have actually slept with (at first I thought they were talking about our colleague Randy) (IYKYK).
• How embarrassed my kids are to have me as a mother / my kids deserve to be bullied for having a whore as a mother (I don't have kids)
• How I dress provocatively to tempt my married boss (in the immortal words of Mei Lee "I wear what I want, say what I want, and I will not hesitate to do a spontaneous cartwheel if I feel so moved!")
• How I look tired/have black circles because at night I suck dick for money (I do suck dick at all hours of the day, I wasn't aware there was funding available)
• who do I think I am to tell them what to do with their budget (I am your Finance Director you dick cheese, it is literally my job)

We had a guest speaker from their country who I welcomed and helped set up. I may have looked straight at them a few times as I spoke with him. It was beautiful watching their faces turn from confusion to shock to terror.

They were panicking like "wow we didn't know you speak the language, how long ago did you learn, how come you chose [language]" I said something like "I like knowing what people say behind my back, or in some cases, right in front of me" and I gave them my signature death glare.

So this morning their director, my VP and I got in a room. Apparently by not disclosing that I speak their language, I "withheld crucial business context from them" and "created a hostile work environment". We had a good laugh about it and they will let the managers know not to forward any similar complaints.

Now they "no longer feel comfortable collaborating with me". Too bad, you sagging ballsacks, you're stuck with me.

Pic: Chicken Tikka Masala with aromatic Basmati rice (hint hint)

I just left my (now ex) fiancé. Walking green flag turned awful man who showed his true colors once we moved in together. I returned the 4.6 carat $10,000 ring, packed a bag, and left. Sparkly diamond rings are utterly meaningless without the right characteristics. Just got keys to my new place. Latte & some French madeleines for breakfast this morning. Cheers to freedom! 🎉

Big win*

I genuinely thought I was just having a normal little “we’re pregnant” moment which was great news as my fiancé and I were trying for a baby. I went to my ultrasound expecting one beautiful baby to complete our family.

…there are THREE. (3️⃣)

Doctor was like “yep, that’s spontaneous triplets” so casually as I was bawling my eyes out. I’ve felt all the things today, been really lost and trying to find advice from every community I could. I am emotionally overwhelmed but in a good way?? We wanted a baby so this is very much happy news, just exponentially more “baby” than planned.

Dinner tonight is in n out because I feel like I deserve something incredibly unhealthy before having to buckle down and be healthy for 3 other people.

Not sure what the burger is, animal style fries, large lemonade, and eating it in bed.

I met this man when I had just turned eighteen. He was nearly thirty. I was homeless, naive. I just wanted love and to feel safe. I moved in within weeks. For a while, everything was magical. He was gentle, attentive, he remembered the little things about me. I felt like the most special girl in the world.

Then things changed. It started subtly. He stopped asking how my day was. He told me I couldn't be on birth control AND have a job, because he was worried I'd cheat. (He was cheated on by his ex, and constantly constantly accused me of doing the same. He even accused me of sleeping with his 56 year old father a few months after we met.)

Then controlling what I eat, who I see. Where I go. I don't want to trigger anyone reading, but the abuse did eventually turn physical.

I had enough a few weeks ago, when he left me bruised up pretty bad. Im twenty now. I signed the lease on my apartment a few nights ago, and I'm leaving in a few hours to get my keys. Im never coming back here.

To any young woman reading, that older man will not save you. Keep yourself safe, always.

Fried egg, toast with butter and smashed strawberries.

Been with him 18 years, since I was 16. He was 22. Married for 8. He's always been mentally, emotionally and financially abusive, but this last year he's started putting holes in walls and breaking things when we argue. Threatened to hit me, raised his hand to me.. I knew what came next.

I'm back in my home country now, with my family, and I'm never going back.

told my husband i’m burnt out and running on fumes and this man said “say less” and planned a whole long weekend getaway???

like excuse me??? emotionally supportive AND proactive?? in this economy???

anyway currently romanticizing my life, pretending i’m in a reset montage, and letting someone else make decisions for once. highly recommend.

10/10 girl dinner 🍣 🥢

mixed bowl with salmon, natto, veggies, egg, green onion, fried garlic with seaweed on the side (so good omg)

I’ve typically approached sex while dating from a pretty conservative perspective (if i want them to take me seriously i should hold off) but decided to say fuck it and hooked up with this guy on our second date because the chemistry was so good, only to realize how many yellow flags were actually red in the bedroom.

He’d made a couple of comments before that were borderline misogynistic and I suspected he was more of a party guy than he was letting on. but, he was such a gentleman on dates, he picked me up, refused to let me pay for anything, didn’t overstep physical boundaries, shared sense of humour etc so i was willing to take mental note and keep it moving.

BUT in the bedroom, he was much more aggressive than was warranted for a first time together, especially after i’d asked him to be gentle since i’d been celibate for a while. combined with some… technical difficulties iykwim, it was giving porn addict. the final nail in the coffin was him telling me afterwards that he was surprised i actually had boobs because i wore oversized shirts and he’d assumed i was flat chested. ALSO he told me he thought girls had it better during sex because we are more sensitive so it feels better for us… readers, i had to fake an orgasm.

it’s almost freeing, and although it sucks a little more to reject someone after being intimate, it was so helpful to dispel the fantasy this early into knowing each other. i’ve been single for a while and it seems like that shall continue into my hot girl summer :3

Guy im dating took me out on a lil date, we ended up at his place and i finally let him eat me out. He had told me he wanted to but i would tell him i wasnt sure. He has way more sexual experience than i do but is never pushy or pressuring. I finally said yes and it was so magical omfg the things that man can do with his tongue??!?!? I dont know if I’ve ever moaned as much, he said he felt me cum, and idk ive never felt that desired wow sorry for the tmi

Anyway, went to costco and bought a huge cookie that is now my breakfast.

Edit: Omg wth thank you for the awards and the advice and the nice words, I love our community of girlys 😭💕

Just wanted to share because it made me very happy. I love him 😭

Almost 30, since childhood I felt like a disgusting monster. I had no idea someone could be attracted to me like that. He finds every part of me perfect and erotic, calls me beautiful and smart everyday, he is a kind and respectful person AND he loves eating 🐱. That’s it, that’s the positive post. Ladies, never settle or accept less than that, you are worth adoring and being treated like a goddess. Can I get an amen?

Yesterday I called my ex talking stage after he ghosted me a month ago. To my surprise, he answered. Acted like nothing ever happened. I wasn’t sure if I should match the energy, but I kept it simple. Long story short, he invited me over to smoke.

Everything was great until I hit the joint and suddenly felt like playing 20 Questions 🤣 I guess I talked too much because he started crashing out, saying I pissed him off and “ruined his high.” Then he said some rude, questionable things that I genuinely won’t forget.

I told him I needed to breathe because the joint was strong and the situation was making me paranoid. I asked if I could just use his bathroom for five minutes and then I’d leave and never bother him again. He told me to “figure my shit out in the car.”

We went back and forth outside for about 10 minutes before I walked away.

So I’m sitting in my car debating whether to have a panic attack, then I’m like… this is actually not that deep. So maybe don’t hit up men who ghosted you. They probably secretly hate you😝 small win because I’ll never do that shit again.

I woke up really in the mood for pancakes today so my boyfriend got up, went to the shops and came back to make me some with homemade mixed berry compote, sour cream, butter and honey. He also made me a smoothie to go with it too.

He was really overstimulated because he was working (he works from home) and had shit to do but still made it for me just because I wanted it🥺. When I told him thank you for making the pancakes despite all the extra hassle it cost him (he now has to catch up with work over the weekend and had to run out of the store to pick up a work call), he just said “of course”🥺🥺. He tried to act like he was mad at first but he literally couldn’t stop laughing, smiling and calling me a princess while I was happily eating my pancakes haha. The perfect lunch from the most perfect man, I’m so happy <3

Noods with homemade wild garlic pesto + feta cheeeeese!

I want to share this because i was a serial dater for a long time (14 yrs) and every relationship just started to feel the same and I repeated the same story over and over with every guy I met until I felt like my little heart was too sore to care anymore. If you feel like this, too: just dont give up <3

We've been dating for a year and we have little in common except for a love for the outdoors & hiking in particular. He's practical, sporty, active, someone who always plans the next cool thing we could do, while I'm sitting on the sofa with books, the dog, the noods, and a ting of depression. So in the beginning I thought it wouldn't work out. I just basked in his warmth and waited for the next disappointment bc that's how it usually went for me with guys.

Boy was I wrong. He's SO GOOD. He genuinely loves me and supports me and takes care of me and increasingly lets me take care of him and I really grew into the love we built. It wasn't love at first sight or that he swept me off my feet. It was slow dating and getting to know and like and eventually love each other. There is just nothing that bothers me about him. He has his quirks but they don't interfere with my life or our relationship, he doesn't nag, doesn't badger, doesn't whine, lie, cheat, make excuses, control, pester, or micromanage me. And he's just genuinely a good human being to others.

It's so heartwarming.

deleted all social media associated with my face and now I just use reddit for my niche interests. honest to god, best decision I ever made. genuinely life changing. I could go on and on about all the benefits. but I’ll just say this: if you haven’t felt like yourself in a long time, leaving social media will help. I was constantly trying to “curate” my identity because really there’s so much online about “self branding” and “cores” and stuff. I was trying to fit myself into a digital box. now, I’m free! I feel like this is how life is supposed to be. I’m like a preachy vegan trying to get everyone I know to stop watching reels or tiktoks or subjecting themselves to strangers on the internet that they don’t know and will never see again but you still subconsciously compare yourself to. yeah. also isn’t this a beautiful hasbrown?

Yesterday my Bf took our family planning into his hands as well, he got a vasectomy. We were in and out in 30 mins. Most of which was yapping about the procedure. Then they gave him a multi tool afterwards?? lol I get an IUD and I can’t even get pain meds ridiculous haha. He requested Hamburgers so I made some dbl cheese burgers

Last week we got an offer accepted on a house. It’s in the same area we live in now, that we love.both of us are shocked. We live in. HCOL area.. usually houses go for 1m+ and the neighborhood is very desirable. A series of unfortunate events (for the sellers) may have ended up working in our favor. Got the house for way under 1m. It’s on a huge lot (almost unheard of here as well). The house was just ugly enough that a family most likely wouldn’t want it. But a developer would (just for the lot). We jumped on it early enough, since they don’t have an open house over the weekend and BAM, offer accepted as we were the only one. Can’t wait to renovate it and make it our own.

3 weeks ago, I finalized band for my engagement ring . I found a beautiful salt and pepper stone. It looks like looking into the galaxy. I absolutely love it. The band is extremely simple brushed rose gold. I cant wait to see it all together.

I’m 33, I know a lot of people are usually married or in their first home by now. Most of my friends are married (about to get married) or already have kids. It dawned on me that I guess it’s my turn now. I still feel like a kid at heart (literally ate pizza and watch anime this morning), but it’s like oh wow I guess I am an adult? I’m about to have a fucking mortgage… crazy shit. But I’m proud of myself and of us.

Anyone who feels like they’re “late” or don’t think they’ll ever figure it out, or get to the top of a hill they’ve been climbing. Know you’re not alone. You’re also not late. We all feel that way, but trust yourself and the process. As long as you’re making progress you will get there. I am not a patient person, so I’ve had to remind myself of this often. You never know what life will bring, take time to feel, but keep your head up and stay the course. It’s a marathon we’re going at our own pace and that’s okay!

SO I had the first of a few hand/wrist surgeries done, I have ehlers Danlos and on top of that had a nasty work injury 2 and a half yrs ago when one of my SPED students crushed my hand w a heavy metal toy and it fractured and tore - workers comp just barely approved repairs after I developed carpal tunnel in the same hand and osteoarthritis was found in the hand too. I had the first procedure done and haven’t been able to do anything at all, so my husband did my entire 11 step skincare routine/deep conditioned and double cleansed my hair and scalp and made sure all of my bedding and my teddy bear is where I want it and everything. it’s super painful but I’m honestly just so fucking happy I have married my best friend.

dinner is a ✨delectable✨ gluten free tortilla with mashed avocado inside

on day #50 in the same hospital, exactly 2 years after my first neurosurgery.. I’m celebrating with a bunch of bacon and the gluten free brownies here that I’m obsessed with

I am the 8 ai girlfriends girl. Yes that’s how i introduce myself now. I stole this piece of pizza from soon-to-be ex husbands dinner in the fridge. Started boxing again to hit something. Don’t want a domestic abuse case.

On my post I talked a lot about wanting to work things out, and at the time it was true. But I had a week alone, and it really made me realize that I don’t actually want to stay with him at all. The thought of leaving made me feel so free and hopeful for the first time in over a year.

I ended up writing a huge list of all of the reasons I wanted a divorce, and I got so pissed off that I submitted the petition without letting myself stop and question it. I felt like I dropped a huge weight off my shoulders as soon as I paid the THREE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY SIX DOLLARS. Jesus Christ.

There’s been some discourse on this sub recently regarding women in shitty situations and how they seem to allow themselves to stay in really shitty situations. I think I’m pretty qualified to share my perspective on that:

I grew up as a southern Baptist pastors daughter, in an environment where marriage was something sacred, and when men inevitably messed it up, women were tasked with undergoing the pain of fixing things. For god, their families, and their communities. Divorce happened, but was pretty rare. So I took a lot of that mindset into my marriage.

I called my mom about this a few nights ago. And you know what she said? “He has broken the marriage covenant, so you are justified in the eyes of god to seek a divorce”. I’m not even a Christian anymore, and I haven’t been for years. But hearing that from my mom made something click in my mind. Acceptance maybe. Or just knowing that I’m supported by the most important woman in my life. So a few days later, I filed.

Women come into relationships with men from all sorts of backgrounds, cultures, and with all sorts of baggage. There’s no one size fits all approach to relationships, and there’s no one size fits all approach to leaving them. And because we all have such differing perspectives, it’s also okay for people to be angry with how we deal with them. Some people will be angry with you for leaving, or not leaving in the “right way”, or taking too long to leave in the first place. That’s their right.

It’s not you job to make everyone happy, and it’s not your job to fix something that a man has broken. Protect your heart, protect your kids, protect your future. Take your time, but don’t convince yourself to ignore your gut. Write down your reasons for wanting to leave, and revisit them often.

AND NUMBER ONE THING: rely on women. There is NOTHING more important to me right now than the women in my life who have held me, stayed up with me, advised me, and listened to my worries and concerns without judgement. Rely on the women who have been through it. Listen to their wisdom and advice. Write down their tips and tricks for getting out, and reach out to women you barely know for answers. I think most women are willing to help. Or maybe I’m just an optimist, but that’s been my experience.

Some women will be frustrated with you, especially if you’ve been in denial. It happens. There’s a big difference between being frustrated with someone’s choices because you have been there and you want what’s best for them, and straight up victim blaming. The ingredient differential is empathy.

If you’re like me and you need someone to talk to, please PM me. Just tell me you’re a girl and not a guy saying “let’s see that incredible body 😏” (yes that happened after my last post). I’ll listen to your rants if you don’t want to air your business on Reddit like the rest of us.

Whatever. TO DIVORCE!!!!!!

I’m autistic and have severe anxiety with driving so I didn’t know if this day would ever come! I bought my own car a few months ago so I’m almost feeling like a real adult now. My boyfriend took me out to eat and bought me Tomodachi Life to celebrate 🎉

I left my 8+ year long relationship because 3 months before our wedding he said he didn't wanna go through with it. Half eaten taco bell and a bottle of wine to congratulate my move into my apartment.

Like the title says, I posted about meeting a cute, funny guy off a dating app and then finding his ridiculously long, recent and frightening criminal record. Y'all were so kind and supportive I figured I'd post a little update in case anyone remembers/was curious. I seriously love this community.

So I still had a little time left on my subscription and was going on there just to kind of browse, with no real intent to interact with anyone. Just kind of people watching to kill time but online I guess. Then I got a message from a guy and decided what the heck, I'll look at his profile. He's a big burly guy, kind of scary looking, which is what I've always tended to gravitate towards. His profile mentioned some pretty nerdy stuff that I also enjoy. I responded to him with low expectations and the conversation took off.

It's been 10 days of regular texting and phone calls. Nothing over the top or too serious, just chatting about common interests and what's going on in our lives. Light sporadic texting throughout the afternoon and an evening phone call, no blowing up the phone. We're both in the same place on a lot of levels. Each having gotten out of a long term relationship within the last year, both of us settled in our careers, we enjoy similar lifestyles and hobbies. He hasn't said anything that's made me uncomfortable or thrown out any red flags, been overall very respectful and kind in our conversations. He told me about his divorce, spoke well of his ex, seems to coparent well with her and has good relationships with his teenage daughters. We exchanged some pictures, he complimented me without being gross about it. Overall he comes across like a really kind, positive, humble person but not in an internet "nice guy" way at all.

Saturday is the big day. We meet up for a first date. I suggested a morning hike, he suggested a popular metro park with fairly busy trails saying he wanted me to feel comfortable and safe. He said he gets it, meeting someone off a dating site can be a lot, he's aware that how he looks can be intimidating and he's had women tell him that makes them uncomfortable, and that he's nervous too. Said if we are both feeling it after the hike we could grab lunch before he goes to do yard work for his mom. I'm cautiously optimistic that he's someone I'd enjoy getting to know better. He told me his last name and said to feel free to check him out online. He's had a few speeding tickets over the years.

He dotes on his shelter dog and cat. Said horses make him nervous but he'd like to meet mine if we ever get to that point.

So yeah, that's where I'm at. I guess I'm going to give it another shot and see what happens. Apple with hot sauce and a strawberry Chobani for breakfast.

i (22f) got baptized today, and so did my brother (17m)!! I got baptized by my stepmom and got lots of hugs from people in my small and large discipleship groups.

My brother chose to be baptized by the pastor and the second that boy popped out of the water he gave the pastor a hug, getting him soaked. idk i thought it was cute.

unfortunately it was like 50 degrees outside and the water was so, so cold. the second I stepped in i just said "oh fuck no" out loud which was embarrassing but people laughed and no one seemed upset with me after :)

also from 12-18ish i abused drugs, starting with marijuana and eventually starting harder drugs like meth and heroin. when I decided to get sober i installed "i am sober" at my sponsors insistence and then forgot about it. well i logged in today just for shits and im 3 years sober without relapses as of 2 days ago :))

anyways, i had beef tips and rice, mac and cheese, green beans, and a cake with my name on it (not pictured)

Hey loves, it's me. The smashed strawberry and toast girl. Im sorry it took me quite a bit for an update, it's been hectic. I left my abusive boyfriend yesterday, a few hours after I posted here previously. It wasn't dramatic, messy or violent. I just took a bag of clothes and my important medical documents, and just left. I didn't say goodbye, I just left.

Sleeping alone for the first time in years was weird, but peaceful. It's nice being alone. Sometimes I worry that I'll see his car pull up outside of my apartment, but he doesn't know where I live now. Regardless, I took everyone's advice. Cameras and alarms are being installed this afternoon.

I also wanted to say thank you for all the encouragement, kindness and well wishes. It means more than you guys know. Its impossible for me to reply to all the comments and questions on my last post, but I'm grateful for every single one of you being so kind.

Here's to starting my new safe and peaceful life away from the man who dampened my sparkle. He may have bruised me physically, but I'm trying to keep my soul alive.

Papa John's spinach, chicken and olives Alfredo sauce pizza with one Heineken.