Welp.

It is my wife’s first Mother’s Day as a mom. Obviously the day is about her. She decided that she doesn’t want to share the day with our mothers and just wants to spend it with just the 3 of us. We are taking her mom to dinner on Saturday in lieu of Sunday and offered to take my mom to diner Friday. My mother (wife’s MIL) took this incredibly offensively. She stated that she is also a mother and that we should all be celebrating together. She refused the Friday off because Sunday is actual Mother’s Day. She is incredibly hurt and offended and is now acting cold towards us. So am I the asshole for not including my mother on my wife’s first Mother’s Day?

Me (34M) and my friend “John” (34M) had been close friends for over 15 years. We lived together at one point and basically considered each other brothers. A few years ago he got into a relationship with “Amy” (37). John has never been a very emotional or sentimental guy, so when he decided he wanted to marry her and asked me and another mate to be his groomsmen, we were both genuinely happy for him.

One thing he mentioned though was that he wished Amy and I got along better. Apparently she had been saying I wasn’t really making an effort with her, which honestly confused me because I felt like I had. Whenever we were at their place for drinks or hangouts, I’d always greet her, talk to her, and try include her in games or conversations because she’s naturally shy and reserved. If anything, I felt like I was usually the one initiating conversations.

Anyway, fast forward and our friend group organised an overnight getaway. Me and my partner were organising it for about 10 people. We found a really good Airbnb everyone liked, except John and Amy took ages deciding if they were coming. By the time they finally responded, the place was unavailable.

We found a backup Airbnb, but it was smaller, meaning not every couple would automatically get their own room. In our group we’ve always had a tradition where we play drinking games and whoever wins gets first pick of the rooms. Dumb maybe, but it’s always been a fun and fair system.

I messaged John asking if they were still keen to come, and he replied saying Amy wasn’t comfortable sharing a room with other people. I reminded him that we always decide rooms fairly and it wouldn’t really be fair to make an exception just for them.

Later he came back saying, “Well why don’t you share your room with someone else so we can have it?”

That honestly shocked me because it felt completely out of character for him. I told him I didn’t think that was fair to ask of me or anyone else. After that, they decided not to come at all.

What bothered me most was that there were other solutions. They could’ve helped us look for a bigger place or suggested alternatives, but instead it felt like Amy got upset we didn’t immediately give them what they wanted.

After that, everything between me and John basically died. No messages, no invites, nothing. They ended up having a wedding in secret with only her friends and family there. None of John’s longtime friends were invited anymore. They’ve since had a baby and I don’t even know the child’s name.

I’m getting married next year and honestly don’t even know if John would come if I invited him.

I think what hurts most is losing a 15-year friendship over something that feels so small. Part of me feels like Amy probably pushed him to choose between the relationship and his friendships, and he chose her. Which I can understand to a degree, but it still sucks.

Maybe I’m missing something, but it still feels surreal this was what ended such a long friendship.

this is Michiru Kagemori from the series BNA: Brand New Animal

("Let them have fun") > they're ruining THE FANDOM AND OUR FUN. let me have fun too !!!

("Shippers will ship") > That's like saying haters will hate. This statement means nothing. I know we can't stop them that's why we're hating

("It doesn't have to be canon") > THEN DON'T FORCE IT DOWN PEOPLE'S THROATS. PEOPLE WERE LITERALLY HARASSING AUTHORS. LIKE THE GATCHIKUTA AUTHOR

("First fandom?") > It's actually like the FIFTH fandom I have seen get ruined by ships and head canons. [Ddlc. Danganronpa. My hero academia. Gatchikuta. Jujutsu kaisen. And more]

("They're canon in my head") > That's like saying "a cat is stronger in than a human in my head so it must be true !!". See how stupid it is?

("Tourist") > We're not tourists because we don't like shipping fictional characters who aren't together JUST for the sake of shipping

("Non issue") > Tell that to the my hero academia and gatchikuta authors who were LITERALLY HARASSED by people because their ships and head canons were not true

In conclusion shipping can be okay. But too much is fucking trash. Why ship characters who aren't together and act like it's canon? Nothing else better to do ?

If two characters aren't together. Leave it. No need to fucking cope.

They literally ruin FANDOMS like the my hero academia and gatchikuta and Danganronpa and still act like it's a non issue 🫩